Chapter 1
It was all very confusing, to tell the truth. How it all happened so quickly.
Marinette went from barely being to hold Adrien’s gaze without blushing, to bumping shoulders playfully and sharing whispered secrets, and secret smiles and then secret kisses that grew less secret as time went by. It was official by then, Marinette and Adrien were a thing, much to the horror of many of his fangirls.
And just like that, they all existed together.
It was a bit of an adjustment to say the least. Alya and Marinette had been friends since the beginning of time. They’d shared every single aspect of their lives since they were in school. She could still remember getting their first cellphones together and spending all afternoon buying the perfect case to go with it. They’d matched. The pair had spent the rest of the day texting and live blogging their days.
Alya had been there the moment Marinette began getting serious about her fashion designing. The moment it was more than drawing and thinking and she started doing. Alya would model for her, twirling around in ill fitted and half made outfits with the wrong stitches, before her mother called them down for dinner.
They spent several slumber parties, talking about their future lives; how she wanted to be a famous fashion designer, and how Alya wanted to be the best journalist Europe and the World had to offer. They’d eat disgusting amounts of junk food and fall asleep cuddling on Alya’s bed, staring at the fluorescent stars she’d glued there.
They’d talked about crushes, and Alya had been there to push Marinette into finally confessing. Hell, she’d pushed her into calling him and doing something.
This was why this weird, tightening feeling on her chest was just so wrong. Alya was happy for Marinette, she really was. There was just something else simmering as well in her heart.
Alya had first pushed the thought away, saying that she was jealous at sharing her best friend with someone else. But that wasn’t it. It was an adjustment, she’d told herself.
But the feeling of being punched right in the stomach, that first time she walked in on them kissing by their lockers, was unmistakable. It wasn’t awkwardness, it was downright possessiveness that shook her to the core. The couple had broken apart bashfully and Marinette had broken out in giggles, her face flushed. Alya had managed to throw a joke at the pair and had successfully diffused the situation.
And then, everything got even more complicated, because Marinette was practically beaming. There was a freedom to her, an ease, that Alya had only seen when they’d been alone. Because sure, people saw the sweet, the creative; but Alya saw it all. The silly, the playful, the concerned, everything.
But Adrien had somehow coaxed that side of her out in the sun, and Alya’s best friend was downright glowing.
And so was he, to tell the truth. They’d somehow balanced each other, finding a rhythm, a pace to their burgeoning relationship that was far stronger and more intimate than it was usual for people their age.
It was absolutely disgusting.
No. That wasn’t the truth. She was happy for them, she really was. But Alya couldn’t deny it, that she’d expected that the relationship would have ran its course by now. That perhaps reality wouldn’t match to the expectations set.
But of course it had. They were absolutely perfect together.
It wasn’t odd to find Adrien resting on that lounge chair in Marinette’s bedroom when she’d visited Marinette, and sure, Adrien would quickly take his leave, leaving them to their ‘girl time’, with a cheery wave to Alya and a soft kiss to Marinette. Alya would pretend she didn’t hear the murmured endearments, the whispered ‘I love yous’ before she was alone with her still love-struck best friend.
It was hard.
Other than the addition of Adrien and Nino to their usual dynamic, nothing had changed much. Marinette and Alya still went out alone, they’d go shopping, to the movies. They’d still had their slumber parties, but having her best friend sleep peacefully next to her was no longer the fun, friendly experience it used to be. She’d ended up telling Marinette to sleep on an inflatable mattress, under the excuse that Marinette was a kicker; when the truth was that Alya didn’t want to deal with her cuddly best friend. Especially because those cuddles were meant for someone else.
She’d also taken down the stars from the ceiling.
Because sure, Alya wasn’t stupid. She knew that some people liked boys, some people liked girls, some people liked both and that was okay. But she couldn’t really define just where she stood. Because the things she wanted with her best friend were definitely under the ‘liking girls’ side of the spectrum, but looking at other, objectively pretty girls didn’t prompt the same reaction. It was even more heartbreaking, because if it was only Marinette that could prompt this sort of deep rooted feeling in her, what was left for her? Marinette had Adrien, and he was so damn perfect for her that it made her sick.
Her thoughts flew towards Juleka and Rose, and how they had easily fallen into their relationship. Would it have been that easy for them? Friends simply morphing into something more? Playful nudging turning into loving cuddles, and grins turning into kisses? They were already cuddly, but now it was something that was mostly directed to Adrien, both because he was already there, and because Alya couldn’t deal with the confusion of her touch.
It made the fact that Alya had practically pushed Marinette towards Adrien even more painful, but she hadn’t known then. Alya loved her best friend, she really did… so the idea of helping Marinette with her crush was just something she’d do. She knew Marinette would do the same from her, had the tables been reversed. Hell, Marinette was a girl who’d accepted to have someone take credit for the present she’d made for Adrien, just to protect him. There was no doubt in Alya’s head that Marinette would do the same for her.
And that same attempt was what brought them to today. Walking in the Parc des Buttes-Chaumont, a gorgeous park with Marinette, Adrien and Nino.
Now, Alya knew this was a double date, despite every attempt at keeping it casual. Alya liked journalism. She enjoyed observing people. It was no surprise to her that Nino had a crush on her and it honestly broke her heart to not be able to return his feelings. It would certainly be the easiest path to take, but she cared enough about the boy to not even try and pretend there was something there.
That begged the question, why was Alya here? The answer was simple, because she’d asked.
Bless Marinette, and her attempts of trying to set Alya with someone who, objectively was a good match. And thankfully, Marinette wasn’t that pushy when it came to matchmaking, which was a blessing, considering how Alya herself had behaved. A good thing too, because Alya wasn’t sure she could deal with that.
So, for now, it was just a simple outing between friends, who wanted to walk the park and have a nice picnic. It was a nice idea, really.
The phone on her pocket pinged and Alya plucked it out easily. The notification read that Marinette had tagged her in a picture and she opened it quickly
It was the picture Marinette had taken of the two of them just minutes ago. They looked good, to tell the truth, Marinette’s blue eyes were bright and sparkling joyfully, and so were Alya’s. There was a small flush taking over Alya’s face, but she could easily disguise it as not being used to this amount of walking. And then, her eyes flickered down, to the caption, where she was able to see one hashtag that felt like a dagger to her heart.
#Sisters
Sisters, she’d said. Sisters! Fuck her.
But she guessed that was the problem here. The feelings from her side were less than sisterly but Marinette didn’t know that. And she could never know. Because it took one look at her to see she was head over heels. It took one look at them to come to the conclusion that they were disgustingly picture perfect.
Marinette joked with Nino, before flittering back to Adrien, whose hand reached for her in what was almost a gravitational pull. The couple shared a look, somehow communicating in brief quiet glances, before Adrien slung his arm over her shoulders as they looked for the best place to set up.
Soon, they were settling down under a tree and after making sure the girls were settled, Nino and Adrien left to get some cold beverages from the shop nearby.
It wasn’t that Alya didn’t think Adrien was good looking. He was sinfully gorgeous, tall and broad shouldered and with a face that was always camera ready. Her little experience playing with cameras and picture taking had made her fully aware that his face was a photographers dream come true. It was no surprise that he had actual fangirls following him around
He was even nice too. Fuck him.
And the most important thing, Adrien loved Marinette, it was clear as day, and something Alya could easily recognize. The look on his face mirrored just what Alya felt towards Marinette and it would be something Alya would battle forever. A secret she would never share with her best friend. Because she knew that Marinette would feel terrible about it, and there was nothing to be gained by letting her know what she felt.
It was sick, really. She’d always told Marinette to just own up and confess and now that she was stuck in the same situation. But Alya would much rather pine away than to risk losing her, even if she would never really get what she wanted.
She’d get over, eventually. Right? Wasn’t this how it worked?
The two girls had set up their snacks out on the blanket, but before they really had enough time alone, the two boys had returned, carrying some bottles of juice and water for them to share. Adrien settled down behind Marinette, and the girl leaned back against him almost out of instinct, her back resting against her chest as she looked at something on her phone.
“Look!” Marinette said, “There’s going to be a festival next week.”
Adrien peeked at the screen on her phone, leaning his chin on her shoulder as he read. “Scary movies,” he commented, before his glance rose to his friends, crossing with Alya’s for a second too long, before adding, “I’m game if you are!”
Sometimes, the way Adrien looked at her made her nervous. Like her secret had been discovered. But he never said anything, instead changing the topic, or giving her the chance to do so.
He probably knew, Alya figured, took one to know one and all that. Or perhaps it was her own paranoia thinking that she’d been discovered. Well, as long as Marinette never knew, she could learn to be okay with Adrien knowing. The blond was a nice person and Alya knew that he would never expose her like that.
“I’m in too!” Nino announced, “How about you?” the other boy nudged her, a kind smile on his face.
Alya pursued her lips, “Sounds good,” she answered, with the best non comital tone she could muster. “I’ll need to check my planner, you know.” She joked, trying to keep the mood light.
“We’re going to get something more to drink,” Marinette said, before Adrien pulled her to her feet and the two of them disappeared from view.
Ah. This was probably part of the plan, Alya figured, and she flashed a small smile at Nino, who was honestly not at fault here. He was her friend, and he’d been her friend for as long as she could remember being in school too. They were both navigating the complicated waters of what love and crushes were, and it wasn’t either of their faults that their feelings weren’t reciprocated.
“So,” she began, “did I show you the last few pictures I took?”
“Ladyblog?”
“Yes and no,” she hummed and brought up her phone, “I hooked up the camera my mom gave me to my phone, so I can get everything I take on it, right here.” She opened the app, and the display was filled with tiny thumbnails.
“Cool,” he answered, “How’s the new camera working for you?”
Alya snorted, “I still have no idea what half the settings do, but I’m watching some tutorials on YouTube and it seems to be helping,” she tapped at her screen, “It does make a difference though,”
“Niiice,” Nino said, inching closer to view at the screen. “That one looks really good!”
“Thanks!”
The two of them viewed the pictures in companionable silence, but Alya decided that their two other friends were taking far too long and it was making her antsy.
She slapped her hands on her thights and announced, “Bee arr bee dude!” she told Nino, flashing the boy a bright smile as she stood up. It was best not to give him the chance to… say anything that might ruin the outing. “Gotta go potty.”
She glanced around, trying to find where the nearest bathroom where she heard a familiar giggle. Alya turned her attention to where the sound had come from, and she really wished she hadn’t. Adrien had Marinette pressed against the side of an empty kiosk. They were mostly hidden from view, considering that the kiosk was mostly surrounded by trees, but since Alya was seemingly cursed she’d stopped right where she’d have a vantage point into the couple’s moment.
To tell the truth, she could very well walk up to them and they wouldn’t notice her presence, they were consumed with each other, and judging by the way her fingers tangled in his blond hair, and his fingers gripped her hips. The world could end and they would probably not even flinch.
It was devastatingly intimate and so filled with passion that it made her heart stop for a second. Alya hurried up, covering the distance to the bathroom in a quick jog.
She couldn’t do this. Alya could handle them at school, where they usually kept their displays of affection to short pecks and hand holding. It was manageable. It was easier to think of them as two people who just didn’t do that. To think that their only intimacy consisted in cuddles and whispered words. Because these sort of kisses and desperate grabs at each other meant that Adrien saw a side of Marinette that Alya would never see. It meant that he’d officially won.
Not that there was ever a real competition.
Alya took a deep breath, and braced her hands on the sink. This was not the time to do this; not when everyone was out there in the park. Her brown eyes felt hot but she refused to give in. Alya gazed down her hands, where a bead wrap bracelet adorned her wrist. A present from her best friend, of course. It matched her favorite shirt it and it matched the one Marinette currently wore.
A bitter thought crossed her head, ‘Friendship goals, right?’ But she shook it off as fast as it came to her. It wasn’t her fault. Marinette had no idea of the simmering conflict in Alya’s heart.
Her fingers gripped the edge of the sink so tight that her hand would probably be sore. Her eyes were shut tightly as a few tears dampened her long eyelashes, as she desperately tried to get a grip on her emotions.
This was her problem. Alya could handle it.
Because she knew, that they were happy, there was nothing to do there. What if he wasn’t there… no. There was no point in going down that road. He was there, and he and Marinette were together and happy.
Alya saw the butterfly head to the bracelet, and her eyes widened. Her knowledge of how the possessions worked was rudimentary but she knew enough to know that this wasn’t a good thing. ‘No, no. Not again.’ But the little critter was far too fast and it was soon dissolved, turning everything black.
She heard a sinister chuckle in her mind, “Fancy meeting you again,” the voice said as she felt the pull “I have a very interesting proposal for you…” and for the second time in her short life, her mind was no longer hers.