You'll Always Find The Light

"3!"

"2!"

"1!"

*BEEP*

The robotic tone sounded, loud and clear, inducing nothing short of a Pavlovian response in Haru as he pushed off the diving block. His fingers sliced through the water and his body temperature immediately cooled and his nerves eased. Despite being underwater, he felt as though breathing was coming easier, the tension leaving his muscles even as they worked over time to propel him through the water.

This is where he belonged.

In the water. Swimming. If only he never had to surface.

Haru caught a gasp of air as he continued forward, carving a space for himself in the water. But even as he swam with preternatural speed, the other end of the pool never seemed to be getting any closer. If anything, it appeared as though it were getting further away. Haru felt his brows draw together in frustration, his breath coming harsher as the other lanes seemed to fade away. All that was left was Haru. Submerged in the middle of an endless blue ocean, breathing despite being underwater. But no matter how hard his arms pulled, or how hard his legs kicked, Haru was stagnant. 

A bodily jerk ripped through him as he felt his limbs become weighted, every movement exhausted. Another shudder tore through him as they weight took on the feeling of phantom fingers around his ankles. His gaze snapped downwards and he locked eyes with a version of Rin who was split down the middle - one whose expression was tearful and anguished, the other furious and red with rage. Both demanding to know "WHY DID YOU LEAVE ME HARU!?"

Haru's lips parted and his throat shifted in what he knew would have been a scream otherwise but no sound left his lips. He kicked with his free leg but another hand, smaller, grasped his other ankle in a fierce grip.

Nagisa.

More and more hands latched onto him, pulling him further from the surface into the inky, blackened depths of the water. Each set of hands belonged to a distorted version of his friends. More hands began climbing up them to grab onto his body, each belonging to a person who expected too much from him, was disappointed when Haru either refused or failed to live up to what they thought he was capable of. He struggled against the hands climbing up his body but he couldn't pry their death grips open, no matter how hard he pulled. He gasped from the effort and suddenly found he wasn't able to breathe anymore.

What's happening!?

He turned and futilely attempted to swim for the surface that he could never again reach. Hands were on his torso and his arms now, climbing towards his neck. As the corners of his vision started to blacken, all Haru could make out were the water figure of a couple, a man and a woman, standing above the surface. He could just barely see their lips pulled down into frowns too deep to be anything human as their voices rung distantly in his ears.

"Swim Haruka."

Wha-

Haru woke with his equivalent of a start. His eyes flew opened and his entire body stiffened with a sharp yet deep inhale. Wide eyes looked around frantically as he held his breath, unwilling to move. It wasn't until Haru was absolutely certain that he wasn't seconds away from death via drowning, did he allow himself to slowly exhale and to sink back into the pillows of Aomine's couch. The tension left him so suddenly he felt more exhausted than when he had fallen asleep, but the cosy nap spot he woke up in was readily making up for it.

Haru pushed his face further into the warmth and softness, letting out a soft sigh of content. He really needed to ask Aomine where he got his pillows. Haru stretched his arms out and froze when his hands splayed across something flat, firm, and decidedly moving.

...Couch pillows don't have heart beats...

Haru slowly opened his eyes and stared at his hand. He fiddled with the fabric beneath it. Thin. Decidedly t-shirt like. Slowly he drew his gaze upwards and came face to face with a softly snoring Aomine. Haru blinked and slowly his gaze panned down as his bodily awareness finally kicked in. He was on the couch, that much was true. What he hadn't remembered was that he had apparently curled up against Aomine's side, using the man's chest as his pillow. Haru took a moment to just realise himself.

He was pressed flush against Aomine's flank. He found their legs to be intertwined when he shifted them. He hesitantly rested his head back down on Aomine's chest, silently reveling in the warmth the man radiated. With one hand tucked between them, the other continued idly trailing across Aomine's abdomen. 

I don't remember being such a cuddler.

Haru mused silently before he shifted with the intention to pull away before Aomine woke. He'd already made the man horribly uncomfortable once, he didn't want to do it again. But the swimmer didn't get very far. A bodily shiver shook him as the arm around his back moved to pull him closer, the man's large dark hand gripping the narrow point of his firmly. Haru's gaze quickly snapped up to Aomine's face but the man was still deep asleep. Haru blinked.

Would never have picked Daiki for a cuddler.

Carefully, Haru propped his chin on the man's chest, moving with the rise and fall of his breathing, and watched the man's face. Aomine had a very expressive face and, whether he intended it or not, you could always tell what he was feeling. Right now it was slack and calm with sleep - free from the lines of his ever present scowl or grin. Haru's hand drifted up despite himself and he traced feather light touches across the corner of the man's eyes. 

Well, not entirely wrinkle free. 

He had very faint crow's feet from all the smiling he did or had done. Haru's finger smoothed over the skin between his eyes. The dark skin there was marred ever so slightly by forming frown lines. His index finger continued its path, ghosting over the bridge of his nose. The pads of his fingertips traced over his cheek, although Haru pointedly avoided cupping it. He traced over high cheekbones and a sharply cut jawline. Haru's fingers came to a halt, hovering above the man's lips. Close enough to feel his warm breath against his skin, but not close enough to touch him. Haru stared for a long moment before his hand returned to its place on his chest. Only for the swimmer to curl it into a fist and tuck it against his own chest, joining his other hand trapped between them.

Haru curled into himself as much as the sleeping arrangement allowed.

"We're here for a competition! Not so you could go off and enjoy a tryst-!"

Haru gripped his wrist tightly as he clutched it to his chest, screwing his eyes closed tighter.

"Then I failed you as a friend."

He let out a shuddering breath, glancing down at his shaking fists.

"I'm scared."

Haru's shuddering breath turned into a trembling groan. He'd confessed. They'd talked about it. They forgave him. So why!?

... Why do I still feel so guilty?

But Haru knew the answer to that question and felt his stomach twist even as he forced himself to let go of his wrist and unclench his fists. To relax. He was reminded of it with every rise and fall of the man's chest under him. He knew exactly why he still felt guilty.

I ran away. Do I even have a right to be angry, hurt, or upset?

He glanced up again at Aomine's sleeping figure. Maybe the man had the answers. But even so, Haru didn't wake him. Because if Aomine didn't, then... Haru didn't want to face the weight of his self-imposed disappointment anymore than he had to. So he laid there, hand and head back on Aomine's chest. Silently in the silence. Aside from the ambient noise of the house, there was nothing. It was so quiet that Haru thought that maybe, if he closed his eyes tight enough, laid still enough, maybe he'd stop existing. Become part of that silent nothingness and fade away.

But no matter how he tried, he was still plagued with a mortal existence. The longer he spent trying to ignore it, to silence it, the voices in his head grew louder and louder. And Haru abandoned all attempts to fall back asleep. But now the swimmer was restless. Drumming his fingers lightly on Aomine's chest, his other hand clutched at the fabric of his own sweatshirt as he tried to think of ways to make the feelings go away. The feelings of fear and flight. To abandon the weight of disappointment and the clawing scathing feeling of resentment. But every attempt remained unsuccessful.

Haru shifted so his head now rest on Aomine's shoulder as he stared at the ceiling, tracing nonsensical patterns in the polished woodwork. "You know," He suddenly spoke into the silence. "I beat Rin, once upon a time," Haru murmured into the quiet space of the house. "We were still in elementary school. He'd come back from Australia and challenged me to a race." Haru's hand paused and he sighed, laying his hand back flat against his chest. "He had been training so hard - it's why he went abroad, you know? To get better. Meanwhile I had stayed and done nothing. He challenged me and he lost." Haru felt his throat tighten at the memory of Rin looking so angry and defeated and he turned his face further into Aomine's shoulder.

***

Aomine's eyes flicked back and forth beneath his eyelids as a soft voice penetrated his subconscious, pulling him from the depths of sleep. 

 "He quit swimming on the spot." he managed to make out.

... Haru? 

"I... Was so consumed by guilt that I also quit, until last year. I didn't quit swimming, I don't think I could ever live without it, but I stopped competing. Nagisa, he was the short blonde one, he put our team together through sheer stubbornness and determination. I ended up racing Rin again. He was still so angry it-" The rambling stopped and he felt the body resting against him briefly tremble, alongside a sharp intake of breath. He was distantly aware of fingers curling into the fabric of his shirt, gripping it loosely. 

Aomine moved before his brain really processed what he was doing and felt the swimmer jump. "Sorry," he murmured, his voice deep and thick with sleep. His eyes blinked open lazily and he came face to face with Haru staring up at him, blue eyes wide. The man seemed almost frozen as he stuttered out a response.

 "I- sorry, uh- I- Did I wake you?" Aomine's brows creased ever so slightly, unsure why the man was rambling. So he simply shook his head and closed his eyes as he laid his head back down.

"Don't worry about it."

"But-"

"Keep going." He murmured. When silence followed he worried he'd been a bit harsher than intended, having just woken up and all. But all thoughts of such things vanished when Haru relaxed back against him. 

"Okay."

Aomine listened carefully as he continued running his fingers through the man's impossibly soft hair. No hair that has been in so much chlorine should ever be this soft. Should be illegal. 

"I was so hurt." The man murmured, although Aomine could tell from his tone alone that that was the case. "It was like we had never been friends and no matter what I did, I couldn't fix it. We ended up racing each other and," He felt more than he heard Haru's sharp exhale and he lightly squeezed the man's waist.

"It's okay." It wasn't until Aomine's fingertips pressed firmly against the man's head, lightly dragging his nails over the man's scalp, did Haru speak again.

"I lost." He murmured, leaning into the man's hand. "For the first time to him, I lost." Aomine frowned slightly at the somewhat hopeful yet somehow rueful note in the man's voice. "For a moment, I felt elated, you know? I thought maybe now that he'd won, now that his hard work had paid off, he'd let go of whatever grudge he was holding and we could move on, be friends again. But I was naive."

"What happened?"

Haru shook his head slightly and draped his arm across Aomine's chest, holding him close. "It's something I don't think I'll ever forget. No matter how many times we reconcile. With probably the cruelest smile I've ever seen,  he said 'Haru! It's my win. This means I'll never swim with you again. Never.'"

Aomine's hand stilled. "... He said that?" Haru nodded and Aomine never thought 'meek' would be a word he would use to describe the swimmer yet there they were.

The man nodded. "I just, I couldn't stand it.  I was also threatened by Rin's best friend, Sousuke, but that's another matter." He added flippantly even as Aomine abruptly sat up from the statement, pulling Haru with him.

"No but nothing Haru he-" Haru tried to move away but Aomine pulled him so he was sitting sideways on his lap. "Don't run." He snapped even as Haru scowled at him, glaring down at his hands folded in his lap. 

"It doesn't matter. It happened and the end result was the same. I ended up quitting again. Or trying to." He waved his hands. "Look. What I'm trying to get at is, Rin and I seem to have this horrible pendulum motion about our friendship. We're either doing great or we're at each others' throats. It's been so tentatively good lately,"

Aomine's grip on Haru's waist eased as his expression softened. "Sorry. I'm listening." 

He watched Haru draw a shaky sigh before the man's face disappeared from view as Haru buried his face in Aomine's shoulder. The baller wrapped his arms around Haru's back while the swimmer's arms loosely encircled his waist. 

"I'm scared I'll ruin it again."

Aomine could recall only a few times in his life when he felt as much unadulterated anger as he did after hearing Haru's story. He'd woken up halfway through to the man's soft murmuring, not sure what he missed or how important it was. But what he was sure about was that Rin Matsuoka was shaping up to be quite the asshole despite Haru's almost desperate proclamations otherwise. As he watched Haru stare desolately at the floor, Aomine opened his mouth to say just that.

But wouldn't people say the same thing about how you treated Tetsu?

Aomine's mouth shut with an audible click that prompted Haru to look quizzically at him.

"What?"

He opened his mouth again but his treacherous thoughts held his tongue still. He eventually opted for a sigh and a shake of his head. "No nothing, it's okay." Haru nodded before flopping against him, head falling onto his shoulder just shy of the crook of his neck. Aomine pretended that since Haru couldn't see it, the blush didn't happen. "... So," He began.

"So?"

"What's the plan then?" He continued at Haru's confused expression. "Well Tachibana gave you an out for the competition tomorrow, but you insisted on going. If you're this torn up about it, why bother?"

Haru was silent for a long moment but Aomine recognised it as being contemplative instead of Haru refusing to answer. "I just... I feel like I have to."

"Haru-" He started with a sigh but the older man cut him off.

"No, not like that. It's just, I feel like if I don't go, something irrevocably bad is going to happen."

".... If you go, something irrevocably bad might still happen." He countered unhelpfully. He shivered at the annoyed huff of breath that crossed his neck.

"I know but... I'm hoping it won't. I'm hoping if I go we can fix us... Fix me."

Aomine remained silent. He wasn't a psychologist or a counselor or a therapist and he wasn't about to pretend to be one. He didn't know how to help Haru with his problems, despite how much it pained him to admit it to himself. He sighed again, heavy and world weary. He propped his chin on the crown of Haru's head. "You're barely 18 Haru. It's okay for you to not have it all figured out. Things like this work themselves out in the long run." He murmured.

"I want it to be okay now. I want to be okay."

Aomine's eyes closed with a small nod. "I know." He paused before, against his better judgement, he pressed his lips to Haru's head. "But I still think you need to stop trying to carry the weight of the world."

"You trying to convince me or yourself?" Haru offered with a weak trace of amusement. 

Aomine smiled into the dark locks. "Two birds with one stone and all that shit. But hey, if nothing else, I'll support whatever dumb decision you make. It'll be fine."

Haru pulled away to stare up at him. Aomine steadily held his gaze but those blue eyes he was rapidly becoming familiar with were suddenly unreadable again.

"What?" He tried tentatively.

Haru's lips were parted ever so slightly and Aomine's straining ears barely caught the soft inhale before those lips pressed tightly together. The swimmer shook his head and looked away. "No, nothing." He pressed a hand to Aomine's chest, feeling the man's heartbeat beneath his fingertips. "But thank you. Being able to verbalise what I'm feeling is a big help." He murmured and Aomine could only smile slightly in response.

"Anything else that would help you feel better?"

He watched as Haru looked to the door that lead out to the bedrooms and bathroom. ".... I guess another bath would be nice."

"Another?"

"I always start my day with a bath."

"Ah. That'll be why I wasn't woken up by the shower."

"Mm."

For a long moment, neither moved. Haru's hand remained pressed to the man's chest as Aomine's thumbs rubbed idle circles into the man's waist. In the end, Aomine was the first to move. He shifted Haru from his lap onto the couch and stood. "I'll get the bath going."

"Okay."

But Aomine had just reached the bathroom door when Haru's hand closed around his wrist. He did not scream. But his surprise was verbalised. "Jesus Christ Haru! Do you not make any sound when you're moving?!" Because Haru would've had to have run to catch him before he entered the bathroom.

"I've changed my mind." He said brusquely, the lines on his face tight.

Aomine's expression slowly pulled into a frown as he released the door handle and turned to face the man. "Yeah?"

Haru's eyes met his fleetingly but mostly stayed on the ground. His brows were drawn together and lips pursed tightly.

"Haru, what is it-?"

"I don't want a relationship." He said suddenly, all but blurting it out as his gaze snapped to meet Aomine's.

The baller still, suddenly feeling cold. "What?"

"...." The man bit his lip harshly and dropped his gaze again.

"Haru." Aomine bit out. "Where is this coming from-"

"I don't want a relationship." He repeated slower. His grip loosened and his hand moved to cover Aomine's hand that had balled itself into a fist. Realising himself, he forced his fingers to slacken and Haru's slim fingers slipped between his. "But I want... something."

"... From me?" He began dubiously.

Haru nodded, his gaze still locked on their hands. "I feel comfortable with you. I... I've been craving physical sensations," He took one glance at Aomine's raised eyebrow and tacked on an "I guess."

"Physical sensations?"

Haru nodded. "Normally that's being in the water and swimming but... Those haven't quite been doing it lately."

"Then why the relationship comment?" Aomine had an inkling of where Haru was going with this but didn't want to jump to any conclusions. Especially if he ended up landing on the wrong one.

"Because I want..." He watched Haru's cheeks pinken before he dropped his head further.

Aomine blinked. The man who would strip at the drop of a hat and walk around in just his swimsuit and an apron didn't strike him as the type to get embarrassed. "Yeah?" Aomine pushed.

"I want to try the physical things people normally do in a relationship, but without the dating part." He mumbled. And forever eloquent, Aomine's response was to just stare dumbly at the man. "I've never been interested in dating, and I'm not now either. And we've also barely gotten to know each other and..." He trailed off and at Aomine's persisting silence he frowned. "Never mind." He mumbled. "This was... This was a dumb idea I'm sorry. Forget I said anything."

He went to pull away but Aomine's hand tightened around his.

"Wha-?" Haru cut himself off when he was suddenly pulled towards Aomine. The baller stared down at the man, less than a hair's breadth between them.

"Haru." He began lowly. He didn't imagine the slight shudder that passed through the swimmer.

"..... What?"

"Don't say things like that if you don't intend to follow through." He murmured, his voice just above a whisper. Aomine stared down at Haru, watching blue eyes widen.

"...Daiki?"

"Friends with benefits is a thing."

"What's that?"

"Physical without the relationship."

"Ah."

"And if you want it," Aomine felt his gaze darken as he stepped closer, pressing his body flush with Haru's. "I will give it to you. But if you don't mean it, tell me now."

Haru was silent for a long, long time.

"Haru?" He took the fact that Haru hadn't stepped away as a cautiously good sign that he wasn't overstepping boundaries.

"I-I do."

"Okay-"

"But I've never done anything like this before."

Whatever sexual tension stupor had been slowly hazing Aomine's mind vanished. He suddenly felt very sober. "Wait, never??"

Haru shook his head. "Never."

Aomine's mouth opened and closed several times of its own volition. Haruka Nanase. Almost the literal embodiment of sex on legs. Had never done anything physical before? Sue him for being stunned silent. "I- uh-- you- Have you ever kissed someone?" He managed, visibly cringing at his stutter.

Haru tilted his head this way and that. "Once with Makoto in middle school to see what all the hype was about it, but that was it."

That caught Aomine's attention. "Wait, with Tachibana?"

"Mm."

"He's your best friend though, right?"

"Mmhm."

"So... You've never had any desire to try anything else with him?"

"Nope."

"But you do with me?"

"Yes."

Aomine blinked. Things suddenly felt very unsexy. "Have you... have you ever gotten off before?" He asked and cringed again at his inability to keep the awkwardness out of his voice.

But Haru merely huffed a soft laugh. "Yes. I get hard and I get off like any other teenage guy, but it's more like a maintenance thing. I've never felt horny before or something I could liken to it."

"But you do now?"

Haru shook his head. "No. Well. Maybe. I wouldn't know. Like I said, I want to to do and feel something physical and I just thought... Maybe I should try this?"

"But why me?? Why now?" Aomine had never met a person this confusing outside the GoM. 

Haru frowned again but all Aomine was focused on was the questions swirling about his head. "I just... Kept thinking about your hand on my hip from last night,"

Aomine's eyebrows shot up in surprise but Haru wasn't looking at him to notice.

"And sleeping with you was surprisingly comfortable. Normally if we ever had a sleepover when we kids Makoto would cling to me and it wasn't.... bad, but... I didn't feel as nice as I did then. Or as when Nagisa hugs me. Maybe after a race. I mean, they felt nice and I enjoyed them but they always felt.... Platonic? Is that the word?" 

He noticed Haru had a tendency to softly ramble when he was embarrassed. 

"And I keep... Feeling this 'pull' to you. I don't know what. I normally don't lean on people or, do things like this," He murmured, staring at their hands. "And I... I've never felt the want to... kiss anyone before either."

That did it. Aomine was suddenly thrown back to all the moments in the past 24 to 48 hours that he felt like Haru was staring at his lips or leaning in. I wasn't imagining it!

"Sorry." Aomine suddenly realised he'd been silent way too long. "I didn't mean to make you uncomfortable, you can just forget I-"

"Can I kiss you?"

Haru's head snapped up to look at him, surprise written clearly in his eyes. "What?"

"Haruka Nanase. Can I kiss you?"

Haru paused. "I- Yes."

"What?"

"Nothing I-"

"Haru," He sighed deeply, his brows pinching together. "If you don't want this that's fine. Consent can be given and revoked whenever so if you don't want to do something I won't force you."

"No, I-" He sighed as well. "I was just surprised you said yes. I thought you didn't want to, you were so silent for so long and normally it's getting you to shut up that's the trick."

Aomine barked a laugh with a lopsided grin at the small smile it pulled from Haru. "Well," he practically purred, having to suppress a laugh at the way his tone of voice had Haru's eyes widening. "If I'm allowed to kiss you, can I also touch you?"

Haru's response was less hesitant this time. "Yes."

Aomine shook Haru's hands from his and he relished in the small gasp the man let out as Aomine's hands ran down his sides to hook behind the back of Haru's thighs. God. Aomine internally groaned. This man's thighs were to die for. Gripping there, he lifted the man almost effortlessly. Haru's hands quickly and instinctively grabbed Aomine's shoulders.

"Aomine, what are you-!?" Haru's surprised question melted into a deep groan as Aomine pressed him to the wall and finally, FINALLY pressed their lips together. 

The kiss was slow, deep, and gentle. While Aomine wanted to take more, he wasn't about to rush Haru and scare him off when he finally had those soft lips pressed against his own. Haru had frozen for a heartbeat before his grip on the fabric over Aomine's shoulders tightened and he kissed him back. It was a little clumsy at first, a bit too much teeth. But Haru was evidently a quick learner. 

Aomine intended on keeping it slow for a while, wanting to go at Haru's pace, but that was apparently too slow for Haru's tastes. The swimmer leaned into the kiss, deepening it further and Aomine hummed appreciatively. When they'd been kissed for a while he allowed his tongue to very briefly pass over the closed seam of Haru's lips and the swimmer's response had been nothing short of delectable. Haru shivered in his arms, a groan ripping from him as his legs tightened around Aomine's waist.

Aomine, in turn, caught Haru's lower lip gently between his teeth. He sucked on it briefly before releasing it to look at Haru's face. It was more flushed than the man had ever seen before and he was breathing heavy as if they'd just played a one on one. His lips were a dark red instead of their normal soft pink and slightly swollen. Aomine wanted to devour him right against that wall. He pressed his lips back against Haru's in a brief and chaste kiss that Haru chased after as he pulled back. Aomine laughed softly, his voice low and thick. "Haru." He murmured.

"Mm?"

"When I kiss you again," He murmured against his lips. "Can I use tongue?"

Haru loosed a shuddering sigh. "You can do whatever you want. If I don't like it and want you to stop, I'll let you know."

"Promise?"

Haru groaned and Aomine laughed at his impatience. "Yes, promise now kiss me already."

"Bossy." Aomine snapped back but he was already sealing Haru's lips in another searing kiss, much hungrier than the last. He squeezed Haru's thighs a little tighter and groaned at the feeling of strong muscle shifting beneath his hands. He decided he had to reevaluate his opinion of Haru's jammers. The thin, skin tight material did nothing to hide the strength in those legs. He briefly broke the kiss to breathe "Hold on," before he was carrying Haru to the bed and depositing him with a soft thud. Despite the urge to immediately follow the man and reconnect themselves at the lips, he took a moment to observe the man under him.

His impossibly soft, black hair spread out on the pillow under him, his expression kiss drunk, and chest heaving. Aomine followed the flush of the man's face down his neck to where it disappeared under the collar of his shirt. 

"What're you staring at?"

He shook his head with an amused huff and swooped in to press his lips to Haru's neck. "Nothing." He murmured, reveling in the gasp it pulled. "You're just so incredibly hot."

***

Haru clutched at the short strands of Aomine's hair as the man's lips pressed firmly against the hot skin of his neck, mouthing and nipping his way across the exposed column of pale skin. He'd never felt anything like this. Never thought he could. It was so good but also a little unsettling. He was breathing as if he'd just been racing, feeling almost embarrassed at being reduced to panting by mere kisses. He felt impossibly light and incredibly disoriented, as if his head was full of cotton. Haru could barely produce a simple thought beyond Aomine and the feeling of his lips on his skin. Every spot he kissed felt as if a mark had been seared onto it when he moved away, kissing his way down to Haru's sharp collarbone. Shudders wracked Haru's frame and nothing he did could suppress them. He'd never felt so out of control like this before and while he was enjoying it, he was readily aware of how overwhelming it was becoming. 

"W-Wait," He managed, his hands weakly pushing against Aomine and the man immediately stopped. His lips detached from Haru's skin and he pushed himself up. Haru blinked slowly, dazedly realising that the only part of Aomine that had been touching him had been the man's lips. He'd been holding himself up above Haru.

"Oi, Haru. You okay?"

Haru stared unseeingly up at him, focusing on getting his breathing back under control. When Aomine's hand tentatively pressed to his cheek Haru easily rolled into it. 

"Haru? Do we need to stop?"

Haru found it in himself to shake his head and he felt Aomine relax above him. The man began carding his fingers through his hair again.

"Then what's up? You need to talk to me because I can't tell what you're thinking."

Haru nodded again. "Right um," He swallowed thickly. "Right." He reached up and gently tugged Aomine back down, this time being the one to press feather light kisses to the man's neck. "I don't want to stop I just.... Needed a break. It was good, don't get me wrong," He murmured against his skin, feeling Aomine shudder. "It's just a lot, that I'm not used to."

"Right," The man sighed as Haru pressed a firmer kiss to the hollow of the man's throat. Haru pressed himself further into the bed when Aomine moved from resting on his hands to his forearms. "Can I touch you then?"

"I already said ye-"

"No Haru," He murmured and the deepness of his voice had Haru letting out a shuddering breath. He trembled slightly when Aomine's hands closed around his waist, covered by his sweatshirt. He dragged his lips across Haru's ear before he nipped it and Haru would never admit to the embarrassing keening sound it punched out of him. 

Who knew ears could be sensitive?

"Can I touch you?" He whispered again and Haru felt himself nodding before the request had even finished and- Oh. Now wasn't that something? Haru screwed his eyes shut and threw his head back, arching into Aomine's hands that were firmly running up his sides as his lips pressed themselves back against his. Haru's arms wrapped themselves tightly around Aomine's neck, clutching at the fabric desperately. He kissed him back fiercely as that weird sinking-floating feeling returned. But unlike before, Aomine's hands pressing hard against Haru's skin, feeling him up and pressing him into the bed was incredibly grounding.

Caught between his lips that felt like they were trying to pull his soul from his body and his hands pinning him down and keeping him solid, Haru felt as though he was about to find something close to Nirvana. "Daiki," He gasped breathlessly and no, he did not imagine the growl that escaped the baller. Aomine's fingers dug into his ribs, his thumbs flicked his nipples, his nails trailed down his flanks. Haru was arching and writhing under the man playing him like a well-learned instrument. Haru felt so good at the same time he felt like he could die.

Something hot sparked in the pit of Haru's stomach and he found himself hooking a leg over Aomine's waist. After only a moment's hesitation, soothed by Aomine's one hand running obsessively over Haru's thigh, the swimmer flexed his leg and pulled Aomine down fully onto him. When their crotches came into contact both groaned loudly. Haru had been hard before but not like this. Aomine then rolled his hips and Haru swore to god he felt like he could cry. The next time Aomine did that Haru ground back against him and Aomine hissed against his lips and suddenly Aomine's tongue was back in his mouth. Licking his way in, dominating every inch it could reach before coaxing Haru's own tongue to join in and explore. It was nothing short of filthy but Haru...

Haru didn't care.

In fact he was relishing the feelings. They continued to make out, hot and heavy, grinding against each other like the pair of horny teenagers they were. 

"W-Wait, Daiki, h-hot," Aomine very quickly pulled back and before Haru could miss the contact he could only stare dumbly as Aomine all but tore his own shirt from over his head. Haru's eyes slowly and indulgently traced upwards over the muscular torso presented to him before his eyes locked with Aomine's. The blue were so black they looked dark, his hair was a mess and his lips were swollen and dark. Haru imagined he didn't look any better. He watched as Aomine's gaze flicked from Haru's eyes to his chest and back again. 

"Well? Take it off then."

Haru swallowed thickly at the tone of voice. Is this what they call a voice kink? But he complied. Hands shaking, he pulled off his sweatshirt and sighed in relief as his overly hot skin was exposed to the cool air of the room. Aomine slowly lowered himself back down onto Haru, the swimmer moaning at the feeling of skin on skin, as the taller man ran his hands up Haru's arms. He was clearly feeling them up (Gou did say he had incredible triceps) before the man's hands closed slowly around his wrists. He realised Aomine was giving him time to stop him but Haru didn't. As a result Haru found his wrists pinned above his head with Aomine between his legs, lips pressing against his jawline.

"Feeling good Haru?" He murmured.

"So good," he whispered back.

Aomine rolled his hips and chuckled darkly at the moan it pulled from him. "You remember what you asked me the other night?" He hummed conversationally.

"W-What?" Haru didn't know whether to be amused or insulted that Aomine thought he had enough brain power for that.

He caught Haru's earlobe between his teeth and Haru arched and bucked under him when he sucked on the appendage. "You asked me why I had a mirror on my ceiling and I told you one day you'd find out." Those damned lips moved back down, brushing over Haru's lips to latch onto the skin just below his jaw. He felt Aomine bite and suck a dark mark there. "Well look up."

Haru's eyes, that he didn't realise he had closed, fluttered open and he came face to face with himself looking what he would probably call very sexed up. Aomine's dark hands contrasted with the pale skin on his wrists and Haru stared at the way Aomine had him pinned down. His face was flushed, his eyes misty, and his lips very red and equally swollen. It was embarrassing to look at but at the same time... Haru didn't feel embarrassed. What he did feel is probably what people would describe as very turned on as his gaze tracked over Aomine's figure. He stared at the baller's ridiculous back muscles and watched as they shifted beneath dark skin before he threw his head back with another wordless moan as Aomine resumed grinding against Haru.

"Uh uh." He tutted teasingly. "You gotta watch Haru."

Haru retaliated by stretching forward, as much as his wrists being pinned would let him, and bit down on the skin at the junction of Aomine's neck and shoulder. 

Aomine hissed and Haru was about to let go, fearing he'd hurt him, but Aomine's hips pressing him deeper into the bed told him otherwise. Haru's gaze flicked upwards as he dragged the tip of his tongue over the spot he'd abused. He could barely keep his eyes open but the sight was too hot to look away from. The way Aomine's muscles moved as he dry humped Haru into the bed. It was entrancing. Eventually his wrists were released and he took the opportunity to run his hands over Aomine's back, torso, arms. The obvious strength of those muscles, the way they felt beneath Haru's hands, was everything. He'd felt his friends' muscles before but he'd never been obsessed with touching them like this before. 

They continued like that for god knows how long. Time didn't exist. Nothing existed for Haru except for Aomine, how the man felt against him, and how the man was making him feel. Aomine eventually pulled away from his lips again, leaving Haru panting, and began kissing his way down Haru's torso. Haru's fingers buried themselves harshly in the man's hair, tugging every time Aomine made him arch or writhe, but Haru had learnt the man enjoyed a little bit of roughing up. The haze felt incredible. Haru jerked when he felt those lips press to his inner thigh, over his jammer and Haru's eyes flew open. He stared down at Aomine who was watching him, the man's pupils blown wide with lust. "Haru," He murmured as his fingers hooked into the waistband of Haru's swimsuit.

And just like that, the warm, all consuming haze vanished as if he'd been thrown into a pool of ice water. 

"Wait!" Haru's hand moved of its own volition. It shot out and closed tightly around Aomine's wrists. 

Aomine jerked upwards, back to kneeling. "What??"

Haru was breathing harshly, but for an entirely different reason now. Aomine's exclamation was muted by the sound of his blood pumping in his ear as he stared down at where he was stopping Aomine from fully undressing him. "I-" He swallowed and pushed himself up into sitting. "I-um," He glanced guiltily at the obvious tent in Aomine's pants. "I don't think I can do that," He mumbled.

"Haru?" he prompted.

But the swimmer couldn't elaborate. The second it had registered that he would be naked and or that Aomine would be naked ignited some visceral response in him to make sure that absolutely did. Not. Happen.

Aomine's hand came to cup his face but Haru still didn't lift his eyes to look at him. "You gotta talk to me man. What's wrong?"

"I think... I think... I don't think I can go any further," He confessed. 

"Yeah?"

"Yeah." He mumbled.

"Ah. Well.... We're you okay with everything else we did?"

Haru nodded.

"Haru." He said sternly.

"Yes." Haru sighed, pressing a kiss to the palm of his hand. "I was really okay with everything else I just, don't think I want anything more."

"Ah, okay."

"I'm sorry."

"Why are you sorry?"

He glanced pointedly between Aomine's legs and the man merely barked out a tight laugh. 

"Dude seriously, don't worry about it. Boundaries are fine. I'll just.... get off some other time by me onesie self."

"I'm sorry." He repeated, because he genuinely felt it.

"What about you?" 

Haru glanced down at his own hardon. "... I'll probably do the same."

Aomine laughed as his other hand rubbed circles against Haru's thighs. "If you weren't in your jammers I'd say we could just grind on each other till we got off but that's messy." 

Haru snorted. "Maybe some other time."

"Oho? Another time?"

Haru blushed and looked away from Aomine's leering grin. "It was good. I enjoyed it. So sue me."

Aomine pulled him close by his waist and sealed his lips with another kiss that had Haru melting. "Never. I enjoyed it too."

"Still just friends though?" He murmured against his lips and he felt more than saw Aomine's lopsided grin.

"Just friends." He hummed, pulling the man in for another kiss. "Does that mean you want to stop?"

"Now, I didn't necessarily say that,"

Aomine's dark laugh was all the warning he got before he was pressed back down into the bed for another round of hot make-outs and heavy petting. Haru readily lost himself in the sensations, the nightmares from earlier, the looming sense of dread, the guilt - all completely forgotten.