Repressed & Depressed
Up until this point in his life, Elliot Alderson had never even considered being in a relationship with anyone, much less with someone like Tyrell Wellick. Actually, that was a lie. Of course he thought about it, everyone thinks about spending the rest of their life with someone they care about. It's just that Elliot had never been interested in anyone enough for him to change his views on companionship. Now, everything seemed to be changing. Not because he was interested in Tyrell, that would never happen, but because of the information Joanna told him. Even though she was cryptic with what she told him, only saying what he already knew, she made it abundantly clear that Elliot was supposed to act like he liked him. This would prove to be difficult considering he hated Tyrell with a burning desire, but if it meant he was going to get rid of him then so be it. Elliot inhaled and exhaled one more time before stamping out his cigarette.
Tyrell aggressively pressed his magic eraser on the stain on his shirt. "Umm you're packed and you're stacked 'specially in the back, brother, wanna thank your mother for a butt like that." Tyrell sang, deciding to give up on his shirt, throwing it in the washing machine. Something about doing laundry always relaxed. Whether it was silencing his obsession, or just taking his mind off of things, he enjoyed himself while doing it. However, this time he couldn't silence his mind because all he could think about was Elliot. His time spent with Joanna was only to substitute and dull his loneliness. All week he was bored without Elliot, not to mention he was worried about him, but didn't want to intrude. He figured Elliot was dealing with something and he didn't want to mess with his process. That didn't mean that he wasn't thinking about him constantly, though. He looked at Elliot's hoodie with a sigh, putting it into the washing machine.
"Wellick." Elliot said, lightly.
Tyrell jumped in surprise, pulling out his headphones. Jesus Christ, he thought, trying to catch his breath. He didn't expect to see him here. When he was finished here, he was going to check up on him as a surprise. It looked like the tables were turned. "Elliot. Hello. I didn't see you there. How have you been?"
"Fine." He replied, throwing his clothes into the nearest washing machine. This was completely untrue, considering he almost got admitted into the hospital twice this week, but he didn't need to know that. "What have you been doing?"
Tyrell briefly glanced at Elliot's hoodie, that stood out among all of the various clothes in the washing machine. He closed the door, quickly turning the machine on. "Nothing much besides studying. Where have you been all week?" I missed you.
Having blackouts caused by panic attacks, which are from my high levels of anxiety because of you. "I've been sick, I hope I didn't miss too much." This small talk is killing him, he hated it.
"You don't have your hoodie on." Tyrell noted. "I don't think I've ever seen your arms before."
Elliot tried his hardest not to roll his eyes. The price of being nice to people, especially Tyrell. "I don't think I've ever seen you with sweatpants on."
Tyrell chuckled for a second. He had missed Elliot's sarcastic demeanor and dry humor, which made him think about the real reason why he might not have been in school. He wasn't dumb enough not to see his obvious lie. He knew he shouldn't really bring it up because it's probably a sensitive subject but he was already so intrigued. "Elliot, about last week..."
Normally, when a (traumatic) event happens between two people that don't really know each other, they tend not to talk about. Elliot thought that once they were outside restaurant, there had been some unwritten agreement that they wouldn't discuss what happened. He thought at least after that night they wouldn't discuss it. Any decent human being would brush it off and never speak of the event ever again as long as they lived. Elliot had made the mistake of thinking that Tyrell was a decent human being with common sense. He slammed the washing machine door, turning it on. "I need some air." he said, quickly walking out of the laundromat. It didn't take long for Tyrell to set him off.
Tyrell hadn't even said real words yet and Elliot had already managed to evade his questioning. He didn't want him to be upset, all the progress he made establishing a base for their relationship would be gone, but at the same time he wanted to know. Curiosity and want always got the better of him. He walked after Elliot.
Elliot Alderson, in this specific moment, wanted to die more than anything in the world. Tyrell being the bane of existence was the source of this particular familiar feeling. He was asking questions that he couldn't and wouldn't answer. He needed his brain to just silence itself for one second so that he could think. At this point, smoking was the only legal thing that would calm him down. He had had one before he walked in but he definitely needed one now. His sudden, more apparent anxiety made him think about similar times back when he had his addiction. Morphine was his go-to in times of need, and it felt like today was one of those times. So many things just didn't add up tonight. He pushed a shaky hand down on his lighter, trying desperately to light his cigarette.
"I didn't mean to upset you, Elliot. I was just concerned." Tyrell tried to explain. "It's just that you didn't come to school and I wasn't sure if something bad happened to you or not. I'm sorry for asking but I just wanted to know. I made a promise to you."
The lighter finally clicked, letting a small flame ignite the cigarette. He slowly inhaled the nicotine, trying not to look Tyrell in the eye. He honestly didn't know what to say to him. There was no way he was going to talk to him about his feelings, that was what his therapist was for, but he knew he wouldn't drop it if he didn't say anything. He wished for a second that he had his hoodie on so he could mask himself from the demands of the world. He exhaled, releasing the fumes into the world. "Listen, Wellick, I appreciate your concern but I'm fine. There's nothing wrong with me." Another lie, he thought, putting the cigarette back up to his mouth.
"I just wanted to make sure there was nothing wrong between us." Idiot! That sounds selfish. "And to make sure that you didn't feel uncomfortable about any of that."
He sighed. "Would it make you feel better if I told you we could be friends?" Elliot asked, completely disregarding his last comment. "Only my friends are concerned about me and it seems pretty odd that a complete strange would care about me at all."
Tyrell raised his eyebrows. "What?"
He inhaled and exhaled his cigarette. "Don't worry about me anymore, Tyrell. I'm completely fine."
"I'm incredibly confused. What are you saying?"
"I'm saying we're friends now and you don't have to worry about me. I say that to all the people that seem to care about me." Elliot blew smoke into his face before disposing of his cigarette. "So shut up and stop asking me questions about that night."
He was completely dumbfounded by what he was hearing. Elliot Alderson, his future lover, actually said that he wanted to be friends with him. This wasn't made up in his head or some type of dream sequence. This was real. "I-I-I-ok. That's great, I-I'm glad you've accepted us as friend. Wow. Ok." Elliot stared at the tall man trying to enunciate and failing. "You know what, um, we can go back to my room until our clothes are done. I could show you what you missed in class. I-I-I have some leftover bruschetta that we could eat."
He was hesitant about going into Tyrell's room half-willingly but Joanna's advice was echoing in his head: be friends with him, be nice to him. If he was going to execute this plan then he was going to have to do it. "I guess I'll lead the way," he said, walking in front of Tyrell, "by the way, what's with you and bruschetta, anyway?"
Tyrell smiled. He didn't know what it was, but seeing Elliot at eleven o'clock on a Friday with the moonlight illuminating his face did something to him. He didn't know if it was the fact that he was slightly aroused by Elliot's sudden demands or if it simply the strong feelings he felt in his stomach right now; but, he definitely felt something for Elliot in that moment.