Things You Said That I Wish You Didn't
Celestia Ludenberg says a lot of things. Most of the time, Kyouko tries to ignore them. She really wants to believe that Celestia has her best interests at heart.
Celestia is forceful and blunt, but she’s one of the best things to ever happen to Kyouko.
Even if their entire relationship is a secret, it’s important to her. Sneaking through dormitories at night, hidden kisses in a blind spot of the hallway, this kind of secrecy has become Kyouko’s life.
She does so many things for Celestia that she never would otherwise. There’s nobody else in the world she would do this for. Sneaking out to gambling matches, hiding ridiculous amounts of money in her closet, all of this for Celestia Ludenberg.
Everything for a girl who might not even really love her.
“To put all your feelings in one person is dangerous,” Celestia would say, “Especially if that one person is myself.”
Kyouko hates when she says that, because it’s true.
-
Celestia’s face is still smiling, even though she’s about to be executed. Everyone, even herself, has just voted her guilty.
Kyouko still doesn’t have all her memories back, but something about Celestia tugs at her, every time she speaks. She can’t explain it, but it’s almost as if Celestia knows too.
“You were the one who stole that from the dressing room, weren’t you?” Kyouko asks, desperate to keep her face emotionless.
“Yes, it was me,” Celestia replies, still smiling.
Kyouko stops hearing her speak, not wanting to hear any of this. It hurts too much.
“What drove you to such lengths?” Kyouko asks when silence hits. She’s desperate for a response, even then she doesn’t know why.
What is it about Celestia Ludenberg?
Celestia’s eyes go dark, and she yells, screams that she’s desperate to escape. Then her face calms again, as she smiles.
Aoi bursts out, “How can you be so calm and collected? You’re about to get killed! ...Aren’t you scared?”
Celestia replies, “As far as lying is concerned, I am proud to say that I am rather high end. I can even fool my own heart.”
She leaves her stand, walking in a circle towards Kyouko. Her heart skips a beat, and then Celestia holds out a hand to her.
“Do you believe, that perhaps this is hope?” Celestia asks.
Kyouko hesitates, then brings her hand up to the other girl’s. Celestia brings up her other hand, and presses it into Kyouko’s hand.
Something falls into her hand, but Kyouko doesn’t let her face betray this.
“I was unable to see it as such. That is why... No, I am being redundant.”
Kyouko and Celestia drop their hands at the same time, and Celestia walks away. Kyouko;s gaze trails after her, silently begging her to wait.
As if she hears, Celestia turns, and smiles one last time, “Well, I hope you all take care. May we meet again in our next lives.”
And then she’s gone, and Kyouko Kirigiri never sees her again, because she won’t watch her burn to death, she just can’t.
Something inside of her hurts, and she wishes she knew what it was.
-
There is a knock on Kyouko’s door. She stands, knowing there’s only one person it could be at this hour.
She unlocks the door, and sure enough, there is Celestia, in all her gothic glory.
“May I come in?” It’s a rhetorical question, but Kyouko nods, and lets her in, shutting the door behind them.
Celestia turns to face her, a sad smile on her face, “I’m sorry to have disturbed you.”
“You haven’t,” Kyouko says, “In fact, I missed you.”
Celestia goes quiet for a long moment. When she speaks again, she says, “I have said a lot of things that I regret. As I deceive others, I trick my own heart into believing this is okay. But I am tired of deceiving you.”
There is suddenly no space between them, and Celestia’s soft lips gracefully hit Kyouko’s.
Celestia Ludenberg says a lot of things. Most of the time, Kyouko tires to ignore them.
But now she listens.