Christmas
You waited anxiously outside your apartment building, waiting for the skeleton brothers to come pick you up. Fiddling with the bag of gifts in your hand, you did a small dance in place to calm down your nerves somewhat. This always happened. Every time. Despite how you already knew all these people.
“hey, it’ll be alright,” Sans comforted you when you slid into the back seat. He automatically noticed your nervous demeanor. You returned his statement with a small smile, latching onto his hand almost immediately.
He joked around, keeping the atmosphere light. You greatly appreciated his efforts, noticing the lift in your mood.
Once again, you were the last to arrive. Thaf sure didn't improve your anxiety, and the look you shot Sans explained how you felt. He just responded by squeezing your hand, pressing his teeth yo your cheek before leading you into Toriel’s welcoming home.
Frisk nearly tackled you when you entered their sights. You laughed uncomfortably to the sudden touch, but returned the hug anyways.
“It’s been like, barely a week since I last saw you,” you smiled, patting the top of their head. The frowned and pulled away, signing something rapidly to you. You really had to teach yourself sign language at some point.
“they said a week’s long enough,” Sans chuckled from next to you.
“Thanks, well, you’re right, Frisk. A week is just too long,” you admit, leaning into Sans, “I should really try to make the effort to learn sign language,” you sigh, more to yourself. Frisk had obviously heard you, and wasted no time pulling you away from Sans’ warmth and next to them on the living room couch. They taught you the simple signs first, and you were just starting to get the hang of understanding at least some of what they were saying when Toriel called out that dinner was done. You realized you never really got the chance to talk to anyone else since you were so preoccupied with Frisk. It didn't matter, their eagerness to teach you eased you anxiety incredibly.
While the pressure in your chest was still there throughout the meal, you had become a master at ignoring it. You seemed to always have some underlying anxiety, no matter what was happening. It probably wasn't great to just pretend it wasn't there, but you did that long enough that it didn't matter much anymore. But, what if no one liked the gifts you got them? What if you got a horrible read on each of their personalities and got something they hated? ‘What ifs’ floated around in your head for the majority of the dinner, eating you away. Still, you managed to ignore them. Sans at some point recognized your current train of thought, and held onto your hand reassuringly.
Toriel spoke about how great her school had been coming along. It was one of the first monster and human school to surface along with the monsters, and while there was the occasional rude human, most of the human children that went there were doing perfectly fine.
Everyone else shared about their life as well. Asgore was ecstatic at the improvement of human and monster relationships, Alphys was enthusiastic over her new project about setting up reserves for areas underground on the surface, Undyne supporting her through the whole way.
“And what about you two, dear?” Toriel’s question shook you out of your thoughts.
“Eh...uh...what?” you stumbled out, coming back to your senses. She was smiling politely at you and Sans, awaiting an answer.
“our relationship’s been goin’ strong and steady,” he suggested, flashing you a sweet smile. You returned his smile and nodded.
“I…I actually talked with someone I haven’t seen in awhile,” you murmured, grabbing the attention of the whole table. Shrinking in on yourself, you almost regretted opening your mouth.
“I...um...t-talked to my mom for the first time in a few years,” Sans was startled to hear this. You never mentioned your family. He thought you hated them for whatever reason. Only one of your friends was ever brought up. Whenever he brought up the topic, you would quickly aim it towards Papyrus instead.
“Uh… sh-she was really happy to hear me,” you smiled down at your hands, “a-actually, I’m going to visit her soon,” Sans, while a little hurt you hadn’t mentioned this before, was happy you didn’t hate your parents. The way you were fidgeting though, you still had more to say.
“I-I’m leaving real soon, actually.”
“How soon?” Undyne asked, making you shrink even more.
“To-tomorrow,” you mumbled into your scarf.
“tomorrow?!” Sans looked about ready to explode. A dumbfounded expression on his face, “why didn’t you say anything?” The expectant look on everyone’s face made you wish you could disappear right then. There was a feeling of dread creeping up your hands.
“I...I...um…” unable to come up with anything, you just shrugged.
“Well… it’s wonderful that you well get to see your mother again,” Toriel broke through the long silence that surrounded the table. You nodded and poked at your food. Suddenly, you weren’t very hungry anymore.
Sans wasn't exactly sure why, but he felt utterly betrayed that you had kept this from him. When did you talk to your mom? When had you made the plans to visit her?
“how far away is her home?” he voiced out his last question.
You played with your fork, avoiding his gaze boring into you.
“Pretty far. Quite a few miles. It might take a day or two to get there. C-can we just stop talking about this?”
well, you brought it up, Sans’ mind snapped out bitterly. He didn't say or show it, but he was pretty pissed off.
Toriel took the opportunity to change the subject back to her school, talking about all the classes and recent events. You half paid attention, pushing the food on your plate around. Your appetite had completed dissipated by now.
By the tone the present opening part of Christmas came, you were able to force yourself back into a cheerful mood. Frisk - and admittedly, Papyrus’ - excitement made it easier.
They were absolutely thrilled, seeing all the art supplies you had gotten them. Which warmed your heart. Everyone had got you something pertaining to flowers, when they found out about your little affinity for them.
When Sans picked up the gift you had carefully wrapped, you heart skipped a beat. How would he react after what happened earlier? You tangled your fingers together to distract yourself from the dull pressure in your chest. Looking up to see how reaction, the anxiety practically melted away. He was, quite literally, starry eyed. His gaze shifted from the constellation book over to you.
“I-I thought we could use it when we could go stargazing again. Look,” you smiled, scooching closer to him, pointing out pages in the book, “It shows where and when you can find the constellation. And it even describes the mythology behind it! There's also information about the stars that make it up as we, it's really cool,” your smile widened as you looked up at him, glad that he was happy.
Before he could lean down to kiss you, Undyne had interrupted by shouting; “YO LOVENERDS! We still have more things to open! Alphy and I can tone it down, so you should too!” Sans pure away with a slight blue to his cheeks, you with a bright pink.
You watch everyone else open their gifts, leaving you warmer inside than you were just an hour ago. It was almost like the incident never happened. The seat next to you shifted, and you turned your head to see Sans standing up.
“be right back,” he said with a wink, strolling out of the room. Undyne mirrored your confused expression when you looked at her. She just shrugged and continued with her conversation about anime with Alphys.
Moments later, Sans returned with something in his hands. It was a flowerpot, with a few almost iridescent blue flowers growing in it. You watched as he ambled over to you, and held the pot out. You took it from him and stated at the flowers in awe. There were no words to describe how beautiful they were. The color also reminded you of Sans.
“they’re uh, echo flowers,” he started, “the name is sorta self explanatory. but it’s easier to show ya,” he chuckled sheepishly, leaning down to the pot and whispering something inaudible to the flowers. You leaned in as well to see what would happen, and you heard the flowers whisper small ‘i love you’s.
You couldn't help but gasp, and look back up at Sans gleefully, “Oh my gosh, this is amazing!” His cheeks almost matched the flower's color now.
The Christmas party was over as soon as you knew it, and you and Sans were standing albeit awkwardly in front of your apartment door. You held the echo follower pot with both arms, terrified you might drop it.
“so uh, you’re leavin’ tomorrow,” Sans mumbled solemnly. You nodded in response, trying to unlock your door. He took the key from your currently uncoordinated hand and unlocked it himself, giving you a silly smile.
“y’know how long you’ll be gone for?”
You shook your head, “It shouldn't be too long.”
He opened the door and placed the bags he was carrying for you nearby the coffee table, with you setting the pot right next to your lilies.
“you need a ride there?”
You shook your head again, “No, I have a friend bringing me.”
He looked at you with a sad and hurt expression, before pulling you into a hug, “i’ll miss you,” he mumbled into your hair.
“I’ll miss you too,” you squeezed him tightly, feeling overwhelming guilt.
“you’ll keep in touch, right?”
“Of course.”
The two of you hugged for what seemed like an eternity, before Sans pulled away, brushing his teeth lightly against your forehead.
“Can… can you watch my flowers for me while I’m gone?”
“‘course, sweety,” he drew you in for one more hug, kissing you on the cheeks instead. He desperately wanted to go for the mouth, but he knew how long it took for you to be okay with any kind of kissing, or contact in general. He didn't want to push it.
“i gotta go now, love you,” he said finally, drawing away and closing the door behind him.
You fell on the couch, staring at the wonderful flowers he had given you. Nothing could ease the guilt rising in your chest in replacement of anxiety.