A Long Time
You laid on your couch, staring blankly at the flowers resting on the table. They were the only things you kept healthy. You honestly don't remember the last time you ate, or slept properly. It was bad, but you’ve lived worse.
Today marked the thirteenth day Sans disappeared. It felt so much longer than that. You didn't bother to message him anymore. Multiple times though you considered texting Blake. You just couldn't gather the energy to.
It was pathetic, really. The idea of disappearing yourself sounded more pleasing by the minute.
That is, until a soft knock rang through the quiet room.
“Go away,” you groaned, loud enough for the knocker to hear. Whoever it was, you just wanted to be left alone. For the rest of your life. Yeah, that sounded good.
“_____,” the oh so familiar deep voice called out, just as small as his knock.
You tore yourself away from the couch, resting your forehead on the door, not sure if he was real or not.
“Sans..?”
There was a sad chuckle on the other side, “knock knock.”
It certainly wasn't the best time for a joke, but why would you say no? You were feeling horrible and maybe his humor will bring you back up.
“... Who’s there?”
“olive.”
“Olive who?”
“olive you.”
A small smile displayed on your face. It was sad and weak, but still a smile. You reached for the deadbolt and slowly turned it, pulling the door open with the same speed as well.
Sans stood in front of you, with a very stern looking Papyrus a few feet away. Sans’ eye lights looked you up and down, an unusual frown replacing his permanent smile.
“you look awful.”
“Look in the mirror,” you let out a breath, unable to really laugh.
His clothes were wrinkled, like he hadn't changed them every since that eventful morning. Heavy bags were somehow underneath his eye sockets and he just looked about as tired as you felt, mentally at least.
You were pretty sure you were worse for wear as well.
“W-want to c-come in?” you stepped to the side if he chose to accept.
He nodded and hesitantly took a step inside. When you glanced over at Papyrus to see if he wanted to join, he just shook his head and turned the other way.
Closing the door behind you, you followed Sans to the couch and sat on one of the ends. He joined on the other side, not wanting to break into your personal space.
Ten minutes passed in silence.
“I’m sorry,” you mutter after the quiet became unbearable.
“wait, what?” he turned to look at you. You were staring at your lap, not taking your gaze off the hands thay laid there.
“why are you sorry?”
“I- Y-you were a-angry at me,” you felt a lump rise in your throat. You did your best to bite back threatening tears.
“angry? why would i be mad at you?” he was startled to hear this. What did he do to make you think he was angry?
You took a deep breath, pushing the lump in your throat down, “B-becasue, you th-threw me against the w-wall that morning,” another deep breath, “Usually, so own who's a-angry does something like th-that,” you bit your lip, holding back a sob.
“_____, i-i would never get mad at you. i was still in a daze from waking up. I wasn't in the right place.”
The two of you fell into another silence. Before you spoke up again, you made sure the feeling of crying had mostly vanished.
“Sans,” you sighed gently, “are you okay?”
Your question confused him. You were on the verge of tears, you were terrified over the fact you thought he was angry. And yet, you were asking if he was okay.
“yeah, b-babe. i’m fine.”
“...Okay,” you knew he wasn't fine, but you weren't going to force it out of him.
“what about you? are you okay?”
You shrug, the link in your throat returning, “Not really.”
His soul dropped from your honesty. How you looked, how you acted, it was obvious you weren't okay. He did this to you.
“let’s get some food in you,” he changed the subject, giving you a calm smile. Now that he knew about your bad eating habits, he had the sneaking suspicion you rarely ate for the past two weeks.
The weight on the other side of the couch lifted as Sans stood up and headed to your kitchen. Nothing good was in your cupboards or fridge. While you did have fruit, they were starting to go bad.
You winced at the look he shot you from your fridge.
“be right back,” and he was gone in the blink of an eye.
Sighing, you dragged yourself off the couch. A glance out the window showed that it was lightly snowing out. A beautiful layer of white topped everything. It would have filled you with joy, buy you were still in your numb state. You pressed your face and hands against the window, reveling the cool sensation.
“enjoying the view?” a quiet voice disturbed your thoughtless staring.
You junked at the sound, mentally kicking yourself and turning to face Sans.
He stood in front of you, a take-out bag in one hand, and a pie tin in the other.
“got some Grillbys. also some of Tori’s pie,” he gestured to the bag, then the tin.
“Thank you,” a small smile betrayed your numb feeling, and you followed him over to the table you rarely used.
“it’s not the best, but it'll do.”
You two ate quietly. You still weren't very hungry, but Sans intent stare told you to still eat.
“It’ll take a while for me to forgive you,” the burger in your hands seeming much more interesting than before, “you leaving, the way you did, I mean.”
“makes sense.”
More silence. Neither of you knew exactly what to say. It felt like you had to start all over with your relationship Except instead of being at square one, you ended up at zero. Or even the negatives.
“i guess it’s time i head out,” he sighed, pulling himself off the chair.
As he passed you though, you latched onto the sleeve of his hoodie.
“Please, don't go,” you choked out. You were seriously considering disappearing again, and you knew he would keep you from going through with it.
“alright.”
You smiled up at him. Ignoring all the flashing lights going off in your head telling you not to touch him, you pulled him into a tight hug. Your mind was racing, shouting at you to hide. This part of your mind you absolutely hated right now.
For the rest of the day, you ignored your minds protests at contact, and cuddled with Sans on the couch while watching stupid movies on Netflix. Anything to keep your mind away from the last two weeks.
It was well past midnight when you gave up on sleep. Sans on the other hand, was dozing peacefully on you. You laid in the darkness for hours, lost in thought.
The flower and blue sketchbooks were lying in view, giving a reminder of all the other ones in your closet. Maybe it was time to look through them all again. One of the pages must have what you're looking for.
You stayed that way for the rest of the night, your mind too cross to let you sleep. You had violated all of your personal space and the horribly tight feeling in your chest wouldn't go away..
It was going to take a while to recover.