The One With Goddess!Harry
Summer... was boring.
Blaise sighed, uncharacteristically slumped over the dining room table, chin cupped in one hand while the other flicked the peas from his lunch's stir fry across the room. Normally, he would never engage in such plebian behavior. Well, at least not where anyone could see him, anyway. However, on this particular day he was extremely, utterly, and irrefutably bored.
'Mother's on another world cruise to search for her next husband. Theodore is visiting family in Russia. Draco's in Bali. Even the gardener has the week off.' Blaise scowled and flicked another pea. He didn't bother to look up at the faint squelching sound as the small green vegetable hit one of the priceless vases on the buffet and splattered across its surface.
Briefly, he wished he'd taken Draco up on his offer to join him for the summer. Then he remembered his best friend's tendency to dress in Speedos to attract swarms of hormone-driven, lusty girls in too-small bikinis and shuddered. He was not going to repeat last summer's fiasco, no matter how bored he got. He was lucky to escape that horror without being traumatized as it was. The girls he could put up with, but Draco... in a G-string... Ugh. He was gay, not desperate, no matter how hot the vain git was.
He growled and let his head fall to the table.
Four weeks of grueling, relentless boredom. Four weeks until his last year at Hogwarts started. Only one homework essay left to complete, a ridiculously easy six inch report on the Goblin war of 1812 for History. He could write the thing in his sleep.
He sighed again and stood, leaving his dishes for the house elves to bother with. There was no hope for it. He'd have to go write the damned thing. It was something to do for the moment, and he could always figure out what to do with the rest of his time in the interim.
If only he had some good-looking, intelligent company to spend time with, maybe he wouldn't be so bored. At this point he'd settle for some semi-brain dead eye candy. Only semi, no use making himself even more bored than he already was.
With a grumble, he set off toward the library.
The essay only took him half an hour. While at least it was out of the way, he wished it had taken a bit longer than that because now he was bored again. He looked up from the tabletop, sending a blank stare around the confines of the large, sunlit library and stood to find something to read to pass the time.
He ambled past his usual haunts toward the darker section of the library. Hardly anyone went there but house elves, as was evident by the immaculate, dust-free bindings on the shelves. Most of these books looked brand new, never touched by human hands. It made sense. Only two of his numerous step-fathers had ever cared for reading. The rest preferred to grace his mother's bed, and there was hardly use for a book then.
Absently, he let his finger roam across the spines of leather and other various animal skins that bound the ageless tomes upon the shelves, barely giving any a second glance. Near the end of the third row, a glimmer caught his eye. Curiosity piqued, he walked forward and peered into the gloom of the setting sun.
'The Goddess System. I've never heard of it. Did Mother buy non-fiction novels on her last trip?' Now that was a laughable thought. Like his mother would buy a book and actually read it. He pulled the book off the shelf and opened it. There was no table of contents so he flipped through the pages randomly. A colourful picture caught his attention and he stopped, reading the caption beneath.
Yuria, Goddess First Class, renowned for her beauty and gentle heart. She was rather beautiful, he admitted musingly. Intrigued, he read further, settling himself on a nearby armchair.
Yuria Ezelwaithe, the Lord's most favored of goddesses, was the sole creator and founder of the Goddess System. Through her hard work and dedication, the Goddess System was quickly integrated into the Goddess Network and became the single most efficient way for future goddesses to continue their work. Before her System, the Goddess Network was largely unorganized and difficult to manage, making it hard for goddesses to keep track of their contracts and duties. Goddesses across the universe flocked to her for guidance and support, and soon after the Goddess System went online she went to work creating the God System, which further streamlined the Network and allowed for her fellow goddesses to work on creating other ways to make the Network more efficient for all. In this way, the Goddess Call System was born.
Her programs paved the way for the advancement of all and it was for this reason she was named in the Goddess Hall of Enlightenment after her time. Few goddesses have been able to reach her level of notoriety and ingenuity since, though occasionally there are the goddesses who stand out among the rest as prodigies to the illustrious title of goddess.
Blaise snorted. What fanciful drivel. Amusing, to be sure, but utter nonsense. Further reading showed that the entire book was written like this, as though the book were meant to be taken as fact and not a fantasy novel. Though it was strange; he wouldn't have expected his library to hold such a book. His family was largely of Ravenclaw decent. The Zabini's prided their knowledge above all else, as was proven by their motto: in scientia dolosus; in wisdom, cunning.
He twirled his wand in his hand and continued reading. It may be drivel, but it was amusing drivel. It gave him something to do, at any rate.
He got through a good portion of the book by dinner. He took the book with him to the table, ignoring the disapproving looks from the portraits in the hall. He was still reading as he sat down and the house elves bustled around him, setting up his plates and silverware.
"The Goddess Call System," he muttered, sipping his wine. "It mentioned that earlier. 'Humans who are deemed worthy by the Goddess Network have the ability to call a goddess down from the heavens to be granted one wish. The wish could be anything, from endless riches to the destruction of the earth; however, those with such desires as chaos and corruption are not usually ones who are able to access the Network. There have been only three cases of destructive wishes and in each instance the Goddess Contract was quickly negated and the wisher banished to hell.' Interesting. What would be the point of destroying the world anyway?" He speared an asparagus stalk on the end of his fork and took a bite, leaning back in his chair to continue reading.
"'To call a goddess, a mortal has three options. The most common way is to send a prayer to the goddess. Because millions do every minute, the prayer system is jammed and frequently prayers are lost or misinterpreted. A second option is for mortals to call the Goddess Help Hotline, though this is only used for mortals who are specifically chosen to be the receiver of a wish due to an extreme interference of Fate.' What the bloody hell is a hotline? 'The last option is a spell, though the percentage of it taking is determined by the Goddess Network's Ultimate Force which is the power behind the System.'" Blaise frowned at the supposed 'spell' embolden at the bottom of the page. "That doesn't even look like a real spell," he grumbled. "I mean, really. 'Skor tel'gih gossma inbezinaph'? What kind of spell is that?"
The table began to shake.
'...Maybe I spoke too soon.'
One of Blaise's secret pet peeves just happened to be his mother's addiction to lotus flowers. Every room in the house had at minimum four large gold basins of water in which her flowers grew and bloomed. And by every room, he meant every room but his, as it was something he wouldn't stand for. To make up for this, however, there were basins in the bathrooms, in the library (behind containment spells, naturally), in the kitchens, in the ballroom, and in both dining rooms.
One such basin was in the center of the table. It was his mother's favorite, but to him it was a gaudy eyesore. Pure gold with elaborate scrollwork and clawed feet, the monstrosity took up enough space that were the table to be full of people there would be a wide gap between one half and the next.
And right now it was glowing. Or rather, the water within it was glowing.