Chapter 10
Beca woke with a start when she heard loud rapping on her door, grumbling and standing she opened the door and was surprised to see Aubrey standing there with her fist in the air
"What are you doing here?" Beca asked, "What time is it?"
"I'm here because my dumbass girlfriend hung up on me and its one am" Aubrey answered, pushing her way into Beca's room
"It's way too early to be having this conversation" Beca groaned, "Go home"
"No. Why do you think I'm ashamed of you?"
"Why wouldn't I? We've been dating for two months now and only two people know. I'm not allowed to do anything coupley with you in public, we only go on dates at night time, and you make up elaborate excuses just in case someone finds us in a compromising positions. So why would I think you're anything but ashamed of me, Aubrey?" Beca whisper yelled, trying to avoid waking Chloe up
"You knew when we first started this that I wasn't ready to come out as whatever I am so don't try to blame this on me" Aubrey shot back, folding her arms across her chest
"You told me that you wanted to prove that you want us. I didn't know that meant that you want us but only secretly. I'm trying to be okay with you not being ready but are you ever going to be? Or are you just going to string me along until you find someone you think is worth it?"
"Beca-"
"I don't know if I can do this, Bree" Beca admitted, "I thought I was okay with it and I tried to be. When we're together and it's just us I want nothing more and I'm happy but the second we go out in public together you put a wall between us and it hurts so fucking much. I feel like your dirty little secret"
"So what? That's it?" Aubrey asked, clenching her jaw
"Is it? I don't want it to be but, Bree…" Beca bit her lip and looked away from Aubrey, "It hurts to be with you"
"This is bullshit, Beca" Aubrey fumed, "This is fucking bullshit"
"Do you think I want this?" Beca asked desperately, "I don't. I want you, I want us."
"Then why isn't what we have enough?" Aubrey yelled
"Because I'm not enough for you" Beca collapsed onto her bed, "Just leave, Bree"
"Bec-"
"Go away" Beca yelled
"I know you're awake, Chlo" Beca's voice was muffled by her pillow
"That was intense" Chloe replied
"Just say what you're thinking, Chloe"
"I think you were being a bitch" Chloe admitted and held her hands up when Beca glared at her, "No offence. Look, you knew exactly what you were getting into when this all started so it's not like you didn't know she wasn't comfortable with people knowing. You met her dad today so can you honestly blame her for not admitting to being with you to him? I know I sure as hell wouldn't if my dad was like that. It's a miracle she managed to even get as far as she did without completely shutting down to be honest."
"It's not even about coming clean to her dad" Beca defended herself, "Even if she just told the Bella's so we could do whatever we wanted there would have been enough for me"
"You know as well as I do that it's not easy coming out to the people we love even if we know they'll accept it" Chloe shrugged, "Especially for Aubrey. She was raised to think that if she loved another women she would go to hell so it's probably hard enough to accept it herself let alone admit it to other people"
"But-"
"You're the one in the wrong here, Becs, there's nothing more I can say"
"How do I fix this?" Beca asked
"Music will always have a special place in Aubrey's heart"
"Bella practice is cancelled today. Make sure you do your own cardio and voice exercises, I'll know if you haven't – A" Aubrey sent the group text with a sigh, locking her phone and looked at the set list in front of her with a frown. She didn't know how long she was sat in the auditorium looking at the playlist for when she jumped, hearing the door creak open
"Hey" Beca greeted awkwardly
"Hey" Aubrey replied stiffly, turning back to the sheet of paper
"Look I just-"
"Save it" Aubrey cut Beca off, never sparing her a glance "I don't want to hear it"
"Just listen and then I'll leave" Beca huffed, waiting to see if Aubrey would listen before starting
You and I, we're like fireworks and symphonies exploding in the sky
With you, I'm alive
Like all the missing pieces of my heart, they finally collide
So stop time right here in the moonlight
'Cause I don't ever wanna close my eyes
Without you, I feel broke
Like I'm half of a whole
Without you, I've got no hand to hold
Without you, I feel torn
Like a sail in a storm
Without you, I'm just a sad song
I'm just a sad song
With you, I fall
It's like I'm leaving all my past and silhouettes up on the wall
With you, I'm a beautiful mess
It's like we're standing hand and hand with all our fears up on the edge
So stop time right here in the moonlight
'Cause I don't ever wanna close my eyes
Without you, I feel broke
Like I'm half of a whole
Without you, I've got no hand to hold
Without you, I feel torn
Like a sail in a storm
Without you, I'm just a sad song
You're the perfect melody
The only harmony I wanna hear
You're my favourite part of me
With you standing next to me
I've got nothing to fear
"Just tell me you feel it too, Bree" Beca pleaded
"You think I don't feel it?" Aubrey asked, waiting for Beca to look at her "I felt it too much, that's the problem"
"You never acted like it"
"Because I'm scared" Aubrey exclaimed, "I'm scared because I care for you so strongly that I don't know how to handle it. All my life I've been told that I should feel this way about a nice, polite and proper boy and yet, I feel them for a snarky little alt girl who drives me mad and that terrifies me. The truth is, Becs, I lo-"
Aubrey was cut off by a small body smashing against her own and lips moving against hers. Aubrey wrapped her arms around Beca's waist tightly and smiled against her lips before slowing the kiss down to a pace that they both could enjoy
"Come home" Aubrey whispered against Beca's lips and laughed when Beca all but dragged her away
"Are you sure you want to do this?" Beca asked, standing outside of the auditorium with Aubrey
"Yeah" Aubrey replied and took a deep breath before walking in
"What up, aca-bitches?" Beca greeted, walking behind Aubrey
"I hope there's a good reason you pulled me away from my boyfriends, short stack" Fat Amy replied
"Beca and I are together" Aubrey said in a rush, making the Bella's look at her
"What?" Jessica asked
"Beca and I" Aubrey said more slowly, gesturing between herself and Beca "Are together"
"Yeah, we can see that cap. Now what's the news?" Fat Amy asked
"She means we're together together. As in girlfriends" Beca clarified
"You two are bumping uglies?" Fat Amy asked
"Yep" Beca popped the 'p'
"You owe me twenty bucks, lesbifriend" Fat Amy turned to Cynthia-Rose who grumbled and slapped the note into Amy's hand
"What?" Aubrey asked
"We could see both your toners through your pants since the beginning of the year so we made a bet how long it would take" Cynthia-Rose grumbled, "You pitches couldn't wait another week"
"Oh" Aubrey breathed, turning and walking towards the door
"Come on guys" Beca groaned, "Dick move"
"Bree, wait up" Beca jogged after Aubrey, "Christ, lady, you need to take smaller steps"
"I knew this would happen" Aubrey started pacing, "They don't take it seriously"
"Babe, that's just Fat Amy and CR" Beca rubbed Aubrey's arms, "They don't take anything seriously. Jess and Ash looked genuinely happy for us"
"What if they aren't?" Aubrey asked
"Then who cares? We're happy together, Chloe and Stacie are ecstatic that we finally sorted ourselves out and have named themselves bridesmaids at our wedding"
"But-"
"No buts" Beca interrupted, "We're happy and that's all that matters, Bree"
"I guess" Aubrey sighed, leaning against Beca
"No lets go home and celebrate"
"You're like a teenage boy"
"Are you complaining?" Beca asked with a smirk
"Not at all"
"What are you doing, Bree?" Beca smiled and pulled the sheet up across her chest when she seen Aubrey recording her, "I look terrible"
"You look beautiful" Aubrey replied, "I want to remember this forever"
"You're a nerd" Beca laughed, pulling the blanket over her head
"Don't hide" Aubrey said with a slight laugh, "Becs"
"You're embarrassing me" Beca's reply was muffled by the blankets
Aubrey smiled, pulling the blankets off of Beca and laid next to her, turning her video to the front camera
"Beca's always a little grumpy" She told the camera and pointed it at Beca who scrunched her face up, "She's cute though, so I guess its okay"
"Aubrey's always a little bitchy" Beca laughed when Aubrey pushed her shoulder, "She's cute though, so I guess its okay"
Beca kissed Aubrey gently, cupping her cheek and pulling away after a second
"I love you" Beca whispered
"I love you too" Aubrey replied, kissing Beca sweetly
"Now put that damn phone away" Beca laughed and covered the camera with her hand