Early Mornings
Tris walks from her room rubbing her eyes and pulling a shirt on over her incredibly messy messy bun. A yawn on her lips and feet shuffling against the carpet. “Why are we up so early?”
“To train. Hurry up.” Lexa sitting at the counter already up for 45 minutes, showered, hair brushed, teeth brushed, breakfast eaten, and fully awake can’t help but crack a smile at her unofficial protege.
Lexa hands her her water bottle as she tosses an apple at the girl who is basically still asleep. Usually one to snatch it out of the air Triss bobbles the granny smith a few times between her before securing it against her chest as Lexa locks the door behind her. “It is 5 am. On a Sunday.”
“We could make it 0430.” As she follows the girl down the stairs, knee and hip feeling alright for once. There’s no stabbing at her joint line with each bend of her knee or weight shift. Her hip doesn’t protest the movement either. Maybe things are looking up.
“5 is good.” Tris pipes up with an unexpected amount of energy earning a small snort from Lexa. They could probably go in later but the discipline to force yourself out of bed was familiar to Lexa. It made things almost feel normal, besides it gave you more time to get stuff done. And Tris didn’t know this yet but it was to help Lexa prepare for the odd hours of deployment, the younger girl just got the practice of getting up early.
Once in the car Tris closes her eyes and tries to find more sleep she missed out on the night before up facetiming some kid in South Carolina she went to high school with. Which made about zero sense to Lexa as the time zone made it impossibly late for both kids who had shit to do in the morning. Oh, well, she’ll learn eventually.
Before the kid can fall asleep Lexa turns down the radio “Can you do me a favor?”
Sitting up in her seat and rubbing the sleep from her eyes again Tris answers without much complaint of being woken up again at the trust behind Lexa’s words. “Yeah sure.”
“I’m leaving soon, stay in my apartment while I’m gone. No partying, but it’s all yours till I get home.” With two hands on the steering wheel she looks over to see what she thought to be a smile by Tris relaxing back into the char eyes falling partially shut again.
“Deployment? I know and yeah I can do that.” She yawns, her voice hoarse as her body tries to pull her back to sleep. Looking through a cracked eye at a stunned Lexa she explains with a nonchalant wave of her hand before it drops lethargically into the lap of her sweatpants. “I’m not an idiot. You’ve been killing yourself. I watch the news.” Lexa only shakes her head with a laugh, of course she knew. What a little shit.
Out the side of her vision the older brunette catches the girl sitting up seeming to abandon the idea of a nap altogether. “Why do you train so hard when it’s that painful?”
“It’s not that painful.”
“Right and I’m Pistol Pete.” Pistol Pete Maravich, really? That’s the one you’re going with? Tris laughs as she squirts some water into her mouth from her already worn out team issue Gatorade water bottle in amusement. “I live with you remember.”
“It’s worth it. It’s easy when you're training for someone else, the people next to you. When the motivation and purpose is that I will be the hardest person someone ever tries to kill. The harder to kill the more I can do, the more people I can bring home. I think of the person I might not get to bring home if I didn’t.”
“Yeah, makes sense.” Tris is pulled deeper into her chair with some satisfaction to her ever too curious mind. “So is it Russia or some whatever-istan country.”
“You're too smart for your own good.” Triss rolls her eyes again as she lets out a snort. Lexa couldn’t really tell her but she gave the kid credit for actually paying attention. College tended to be a bubble where the outside world doesn’t really exist. It was like that at West Point even and it was their job to know what was going on. “We’re picking up Clarke.”
“I like her. Good Choice.” The younger girl grabs the cup of gum from Lexa’s cup holder and tosses a piece into her mouth before offering Lexa a piece before placing two in the older woman’s hand. Almost immediately a small bubble is blown and sucked back between her bright teeth with a loud pop.
A small chuckle fills the car as Lexa shakes her head. The brunette watches the sunrise peak over the horizon while she drives. The orange pink glow of the sky is so peaceful, not much can really compare, well maybe Clarke’s eyes when she looks into Lexa’s soul. “Glad you approve, Kiddo.”
“Kiddo? Really?”
“You call me Woody.”
“Fair enough.” Tris shrugs and cocks her head to the side as she considers the nickname. Woody is incredibly funny to her because it’s silly and Lexa is pretty much anything but silly. Most of the time at least. Sometimes she has seen a different side of her mentor and she wonders if that is what she used to be like before she grew up or if she came out the womb serious and showing no emotion. Hell, maybe it’s Clarke.
The car falls silent save for the music playing over the radio quietly and the echo of the car on the concrete road. Lexa considers her choice of nickname. Anya called her little one still, sometimes even kid. Nyko calls her kiddo sometimes too but that feels different. Triss is by all means a goof despite her maturity in other areas but she’s mature enough it doesn’t feel right. Besides Nyko and Anya knew Lexa when she was practically in diapers, Lexa had only really known this girl for a little over half a year. “Kiddo doesn’t fit though does it?”
“No.” Tris mumbles already relaxed back into the reclined passenger seat pulling the collar of her sweatshirt up over her nose and her hood around her face.
“Whatever. Just go back to sleep.” Lexa finds herself laughing again at the still half asleep girl in the car next to her. She can’t shake how similar they were when Lexa was around that her age before her father’s death and the responsibilities that hit her at West Point really took hold of her life.
Lexa always felt it but Anya and the twins made sure she still was a kid, so did her dad. As much as they all did to prepare for a life in the military the older kids still did their best to make sure Lexa did some reckless, jouvinial things. She deserved that after all, none of them knew what her future held but everyone just knew it would be big. She enjoyed it too, all the preparation and the goofing around with her buddies but after he was killed she didn’t want that any more. It was her job to live up to the name now and it was time she started acting like it. Not that she was ever irresponsible but she had let herself have fun, more so then she felt she should have. That went away after that phone call in February. From then on Lexa pushed herself beyond every limit trying to become a warrior worthy of her name.
Tris was Lexa had she been set on a different path, a path of basketball instead of leadership and war. Of so many possibilities instead of a predestined path of crushing responsibility. ANd truthfully, Lexa wanted to protect that at all costs. This girl had a real chance and that is exactly what Lexa told herself she was fighting to protect. For these kids to get to do that instead of fighting a war that seems like it will never end. Living up to Lexa’s observations Tris tosses her feet up on the dash and crosses her arms over her chest. “Don’t gotta tell me twice.” No. Of course I don’t.
Clarke is sitting on the front steps of her building wrapped in a hoodie. Her arms crossed over her chest as her knees pulled into her body. Little puffs of fog pass in front of her pink lips in the cool morning air. As Lexa pulls up the blonde stands to make her way to the car. Lexa reaches across the center console of the car to nudge the sleeping girl in the passenger's seat awake so she can get in the back seat for Clarke. Before she gets the chance to wake tris up Clarke is knocking on her window shaking her head and motioning to the back seat. Lexa unlocks the car and Clarke gets in leaning forward over the back seat to press a kiss to the brunettes flush cheek. “Good Morning.”
“Good morning, Clarke.” The blonde shudders in the back at the way Lexa always seems to savor the feel of her name on her tongue, the way the K clicks off the back end like no one else can produce. She passes a to-go cup back toward where Clarke is still leaning forward. “Brought you coffee.”
“We can still get some after the workout right?” Lexa shifts a little uncomfortably in her chair as she drives. Clarke’s head near her ear as she leans forward Lexa feels slightly off. She knows Clarke is no threat but in a car Lexa hates someone leaning over behind her. Something about it really makes her hair stand up and her bones tingle. It always has. She remembers a time when Anya did it and she accidentally backhanded her sister on a knee jerk reaction after the older girl startled her. Anya had hit her back though, hard. Much to Anya’s approval Dad had just shrugged and said she deserved it.
“Of course.”
The blonde sits back but reaches forward wrapping her hands over Lexa’s tense shoulders. She presses her fingers into the sides of her stiff neck and back down again. The woman in front of her visibly relaxes into the touch as a soft sigh fills the car. “Sore?”
“A little.” Lexa nods as she pulls into the parking lot outside the fieldhouse. Clarke only chuckles because that is likely a huge understatement. As Clarke has had her hands on the woman’s shoulders for less than five minutes and she’s already found a more than a few knots. “I like it though.”
“Of course you do.”
As the care comes to a stop the youngest girl stirs in the passenger seat as she slowly wakes up, stretching and almost hitting Clarke with a stray arm. “Oh, hi.” She smiled tilting her head back so she can meet the blonde’s eyes. “Your steak was really good. You missed out.”
Lexa twists around to gage Clarke’s reaction. Leave it to Tris to bring up the night before. Her fears are eased when she finds an easy grin on Clarke’s face as the three get out of the car. Once the two in the front seat are out Lexa shoots her mini me a look over the hood-- Tris .-- A warning not to continue. Lexa was the reason Clarke didn’t come back over mostly and that fight isn’t really one to joke about.
“You actually let her eat my steak?” Clarke teases with a hand on her chest feigning offence, her voice influxing past its typical raspy tone as they make their way into the warm empty building not yet open to the public. Lexa is thankful for the perks coaching has brought her - empty gym time. She tries to convince herself it’s for the convenience of it, not having to share with anyone or wait for a specific set of weights to open itself up.. It’s not. Lexa needs the privacy, to hide her embarrassment of where she is now compared to where she used to be, to not have to worry about anyone seeing her struggle.
Still, Lexa wipes her face with her hand oh my god . “Really the steak is what you’re worried about?” She asks with relief but some apprehension and a smidge of playful annoyance. Things got ugly only a few hours ago and now they are already joking about it?
Clarke catches Lexa’s eye with a soft look comforting her from her fear of the repercussions from the night before. Changing to a joking wink and an amused look as she follows along with Tris’s teasing. “What can I say? You can’t cook worth a damn but you can sure work a grill.” Clarke nudges into her side trying to toss the woman slightly off balance.
With crossed arms and a good natured pout Lexa shakes her head. “You just want me for my meat.” The innocent woman tries to joke back not quite catching the hidden implication behind her words until they are already past her lips and falling on snarky ears.
Tris doubles over as they walk to the bleachers next to the court and drop their stuff, her face going red with laughter. Lexa’s cheeks grow warm with embarrassment as her hand snakes up to the back of her neck. Walked right into that one, dumb ass. Clarke snorts and catches her laugh with a hand pressed under her nose to her top lip. A gentle smile attempted to be suppressed for Lexa’s sake who is stuttering as she tries to explain “Uh--that’s--um--you know what I meant.” It was embarrassing, sure, but if Clarke could always laugh like that maybe she would embarrass herself more often. God she is beautiful.
Clarke only continues to chuckle as Triss can’t seem to find her breath. Finished with the joke the brunette slides her sweats down her legs and steps out of them. “Dropping your pants for me, babe? I know you’ve got a rockin’ bod but maybe not in front of the kids, ok?” Clarke teases as she winks overly suggestively at the deeply flustered woman bending over to put on her shoes. She only hears the high five passed between the blonde and the child she is now regretting bringing along as new waves of laughter fill the usually so quiet gym.
“Yeah you guys can get to that later.” Lexa can’t even come up with a comeback to that. It isn’t but a second before a light pat on her butt where she’s bent over her shoe pulls her from her thoughts. “Just please for the love of god make sure I’m not home first.”
A lump jumps up in her throat choking her voice to a resemble pubescent boy’s “Tr-is.” She chokes out past shock as she finds gentle laughter in the blue eyes watching her in amusement. Lexa rolls her eyes and tries to wipe the red from her cheeks as her thumb and fingers find her temples and pause a moment at her high cheek bones.
“I’m not opposed.” Clarke tosses her hands up as the group starts stretching slowly. Lexa never used to stretch but she has to now or she can’t walk for a few days after. Damn old bones... yeah.. something like that.
“Don’t encourage her.” Lexa crosses an arm over her chest and cranes he neck to the side releasing a string of pops. The two exchange a triumphant look before Triss is offering yet another high five to the blonde who quickly takes it. “You suck.”
“Damn right I do.” Clarke tosses another faux aggressive wink in the brunette’s general direction as Tris loses it again falling to the floor to stretch her legs. Clarke watches as those perfect green eyes pop almost completely out of Lexa’s pretty little head. “I’m sorry” she chuckles “but you walked straight into that one.”
“Maybe not exactly straight .” Tris huffs earning another small laugh from Clarke and a glare from her mentor. Well, she’s not wrong. Holding her hands in the air Tris leans forward feeling the pull in the back of her not quite extended knee. “Ok, ok. I’ll stop. You just make it sooo easy.”
“Yeah, you’re a little easy.” Clarke teases just before holding her hands up as well. Tris catches a snort with the back or her hand pressed to her nose before it can turn into another fit of laughter. “Last one. Promise.”
“Unbelievable.” Lexa shakes her head and jogged to the end line to start some more dynamic stretches leaving the other two to do what they want. Tris just got cleared two days ago to start doing a little more on her knee but Lexa can tell the younger girl is nervous to test it out. Today could be a very easy work out for her, not so much for Tris, hopefully Clarke can help.
The older woman works into sprints as Tris continues to stretch under the watchful eye of Clarke, who also takes notice of Lexa’s stiff gait as she sprints out past half court, jogs back to the endline and goes again. The brunette continues with different variations of agility drills Clarke remembers from her time in lacrosse sprinting further each time before returning to the start.
On the other side of her the younger brunette walks slowly to the free-throw line before starting a slight jog testing out the feel of the brace. She limps slightly at first but figures it out. Clarke can see the focus in her set jaw and the press of her eyebrows as she touches the other endline with her good foot and heads back. The jogging continues as Lexa is pushing herself past her visibly exhausted legs. Clarke catches her knee buckle more than once on the way back to the start.
Apparently finished killing herself Lexa walks back toward where Clarke shouts small instructions at Tris to run more naturally. Clarke can’t help but stare at the shredded core that seems to become more and more defined every time she gets a glimpse. “How’s she doing?”
The blonde hums in response. “Pretty good actually.” Lexa rests her hands on her hips as her breathing slows down and the thudding of her heart in her chest becomes slightly less concerning. She always wonders now if it can beat out of her chest through the opening in her ribcage. Lexa know’s it's healed by now but her heart seems to beat heavier since her chest was pierced by lead. “You’re shortening your stride with your bad leg.”
“I don’t have a bad leg.” She responds half heartedly as they watch the younger girl run. Clarke only snorts past the concept Lexa shared with her last time she brought it up “I have my good leg and my other good leg.” For a moment the two catch each other's eye as Clarke challenges her bull shit. Still don’t have a bad leg. Lexa shrugs as she turns back to see Tris reach another endline. “She’s only turning on her left foot.”
“Lexa it’s her first day.” Let it go. Clarke pleads to the back of Lexa’s sweat covered tshirt. She can only shake her head as the two brunette’s jog next to each other. Tris smiling and trying to pick up the pace as her mentor joins her.
“How’s it feel?” Lexa runs a step with her hand on the girls back, an easy smile relaxing her own pressed brow as she tried to focus on her stride. Trying to extend her still perfectly good leg more naturally, stiff joints not exactly fans of the extra movement. Damn it Clarke, why’d you have to be right.
“Pretty good actually.” She bounces a stride forward a little trying to see how the mechanics or running would actually feel. “You?”
“Good.” Though Tris isn’t sure if she means that she feels good or if she is glad triss feels good. They near the free throw line pony tails swishing over the top of their collars in unison as their strides match. “I want you to turn on your right foot this time.”
Lexa sees the girl swallow past a lump in her throat quickly shutting her mouth from attempting to verbalize a response and ducking her head forward in affirmation. The younger girl's shoulders rise and fall in a deep breath that escapes a bit shaky from her nose. Come on, kid. You can do it. Trust it.
The younger girl’s right foot hits the wood, then her left as she starts to twist slightly, but instead of sticking her right foot to change directions she only half twists. Her knee dipping slightly before she limps two steps past the endline. A balled fist meets her open palm with a smack. “Fuck!”
Footsteps approach Lexa from behind as Clarke nears her side. “It’s ok, Tris.” She calls before whispering to Lexa. As she watches Tris wipe her face with the bottom of her shirt in similar fashion to the mannerism she’s picked up from her coach. “She doesn’t need to do that today. If she's not ready we'll just tailor her rehab to it. It's not a problem.”
“She does. She can’t be afraid of it.” Lexa says without dropping her voice to hide it from the girl who is clearly beating herself up.
“I’m not afraid!” The younger girls shouts with more bite to her words then intended. “I’m not.”
“Prove it.”
“Fine.” She walks back to the free throw line as Clarke and Lexa walk back to the endline to watch. Three times she tries and three times she jogs past the endline to a slow stop. Each time growing more frustrated. Fists clenching at her sides, jaw flexing, and breaths pressing out of a tightening chest. Eventually she rips the straps from her brace open and slings it to the side where it slides into the bleachers with a thud that fills the gym.”
“Still waiting.” Lexa removes her hands from her hips and turns her palms up in question challenging the girl all while muttering to herself. You can do it.Get out of your head, Tris.
“Lexa.” Clarke hisses as if her words were completely uncalled for. They probably were but she knew Tris needed to be pushed. Either till she did it or she stopped trying. She had to get past the fear. Lexa had dealt with it herself when she tore her own knee up in high school, and then again when her leg had all but been made new within the last year. The girl tries two more times and fails to get past her own head. Her eyes brim with tears of frustration making the brown window into the younger girl a hundred times clearer - she’s starting to panic.
She’s stopped this time with her back to the two women watching as her hands pull to her face. Lexa leaves Clarke’s side with a warning look to be careful with the struggling girl as a muttered “What the fuck is wrong with you?” echoes softly in the empty gym. Tris’s mentor’s hands wrap gently around her forearms and pull them down from her face to find eyes so full of tears it's a wonder none have slipped down Tris’s red cheeks.
“Tris.” It’s ok. Try again.
“I can’t.” She shakes her head and finds a spot on the floor off to the side to focus on. “What if…” it tears again. She hears the younger woman’s words without them needing to be said as she watches a drop of water fall from the girl's cheek and splatter on the floor.
“It won’t.” She rests her hands on the still shoulders on the girl in front of her. Clarke only watches the interaction in awe. Tris can’t see Lexa’s expression or her eyes but they make Clarke’s heart swell. It’s so tender so full of understanding Clarke’s sure with one look everything the young athlete was feeling would melt away. It was those Same eyes she had gotten lost in in the supply closet at the hospital and again on her couch.
“I can’t..” go through this again. She mumbles as a warm hand on the back of her neck pulls her into a hug. Lexa had hugged her before when she had found a tear splattered floor not too long ago when Tris had informed her about her mother.
It’s only a second before Lexa releases her, hand still at the back of her neck as she bends slightly at the waist and knees till their eyes are level. The still watering brown eyes dart to the side focusing on the top of Lexa’s ear. “Tris, look at me. You can.” You’re not going to need to but “I know you can.” Tris’s mouth falls open but before a response squeaks out Lexa shakes her head. “It’s not going to tear again. We’ll do it slow, ok?”
For a moment Lexa is thrust back a few months ago. Sitting in her wheelchair before parallel bars a little over waist height she looks forward at Anya in front of her.Hazle eyes watching her carefully as she sits with her arms crossed over her chest. “I couldn’t even stand up earlier. What makes you think I can walk now? Take me back to the room, Anya. I’m tired.”
“No. Not till you at least try.”
“I did try! For two hours I tried!” She hadn't though. She had pretty much sat in the same exact place she was now staring at the bars and watching as other people practiced walking, some with two less legs then she had. It was pathetic. She was pathetic. At least that's what Lexa thought, and she had thought that a lot over the past two months she'd spent at the hospital. Fuck this. She grips the wheels of the chair hard trying to move but Anya, the sneaky bitch, had put something behind them so she couldn’t roll away. “I can’t. I’m not strong enough and it’s too painful.” Lexa shakes her head. “Just leave me alone.”
“Do you remember what you said when we were kids?”
“No. What the hell are you talking about, Anya? Please just let me go back. This is embarrassing. I can’t walk for christ’s sake. ”
“You were seven or eight. Me and the twins were jumping our bikes but you would just roll up to the top and stop. You did that about four or five times before I started heckling you and you cried and said you couldn’t do it because you were scared, remember?” Lexa doesn’t answer but she can see where this is going easily enough. “Then Gus, Gus, told you that fear was for babies and you balled your tiny fist up and hit him square in the chest, “I’m not a baby!” you were still crying though. Remember?” Anya chokes on her husband’s name ripping a little into Lexa's heart. Anya... she was so strong.. and the one person that seemed to be made just for her was gone. “So you took your little bike off that damn ramp like a champ. Lip trembling and all.”
“Yeah, and I broke my fucking collarbone.” Lexa spits as a smile spreads into Anya’s eyes. “Worked out great.”
“You still did it though, and you bragged to your little friends for weeks. Then before you were even supposed to be out of the sling you tried it again.”
“Yeah and I crashed that time too and busted up my chin.”
“But not as hard. And the third time you got it because you went for it, no hesitation. Fine, what about the time you said you couldn’t do a left handed layup and ended up being the best damn player in the country? Or the time you said you’d never get into an academy? Or when you tore your ACL and were afraid to do a step back jumper again, or -”
“I get it. Ok? I get it. I could do lots of things I thought I couldn’t. Big deal.” Lexa tries to reach around to unblock the wheels only to be stopped by the stiff brace wrapped around her center. “This is different.”
“Of course it is, Lexa. This is so much harder than all of that, but how are you going to get there if you don’t even try?” Anya softens her voice and places a warm hand on the girl's cheek.
“I -” was trying. The brunette tries to convince herself even, probably even more then she was attempting to convince her sister.
“No. You weren't. You were half assing it the entire time because you were afraid of looking like an idiot. Look around, there is no one else here. Just me and you. Now get your ass out of that damn chair and take a step. Just one. That’s it.”
“What if I fall?” Lexa felt tears coming to her face quickly wiped away with the back of her hand as her older sister kneels in front of her.
“Then I’ll be right here to catch you, little one. Just like always.” Lexa strained against the chair leaving herself panting in only an attempt to stand up when hands slide below her shoulders and help her wordlessly to her feet. Her hands taking the smooth wooden bar at each of her hips. Slowly Anya allows more of Lexa’s weight to be supported by her own legs before Lexa even realizes she’s standing Anya is about two steps in front of her.
“You didn’t catch me when you told me to try a 10 plus foot jump when I was fucking SEVEN.” Lexa tries to stall shifting her weight with a joke.
“Yeah, but I’m a grown up now. Jive it a try.” So she does and she falls flat on her face but Anya caught her just like she promised. Lexa had started to say something about - see she couldn’t do it - but she was cut off as Anya helped her sit back down and kneeled in front of her placing gentle hands on her knees. “We’ll try again tomorrow and the next day, and the next day, and the next day and the day after that. We'll keep trying till you get it.”
“Anya, I might never..” - walk again. It was true. The doctors had all said it multiple times. Her hip and knee were wrecked and her back was a whole other story with the nerve damage and whatever else.
“I don’t believe that for a second.”
“We’ll do it together. I’ll be right here. You just have to trust it.” The smaller girl's head nods twice as Lexa’s hand drops from her neck to press gently on her shoulder turning her back toward the line and dropping her hand to tap her butt encouragingly as she starts a trot back to the starting spot as Tris follows half a step behind wiping her face with her sleeve.
Tris lines up on the free throw line about to run into the turn again when another hand rests on her shoulder. Standing from her ready position she finds Lexa shaking her head. “One step at a time. Go slow, get a feel for it again. There's no rush.” Out of the corner of her eye Lexa catches Clarke smile and cross her arms watching the curious change in demeanor in the way she acts toward her player. “Right foot. Left foot. Stick. That’s it.” She demonstrates slowly standing at the end rather than cutting back in the direction she came.
“Ok.” She nods as lexa steps to her left side so Tris can watch her step into it as she counts. The younger girls steps matching Lexa’s as she counts. One. Two. Stick. Her hips sink toward the floor with a slight bend in the knee which is likely the part physicing the younger girl out. This is how it tore in the first place anyway. Tris’s knee doesn’t bend as deeply as Lexa’s at first put with each rep she relaxes a little more and gets deeper as Lexa counts off a little faster.
The older woman stops doing it but continues counting off as she watches giving little reminders to keep her hips over her knees, make sure her knees don't bend inward on the stick, keeping her chest up, etc. On the last one Tris sinks and bounces back the other direction just a little. “Ok. Quarter speed on your own. Nice an' easy.”
Tris nods as she starts again, Lexa’s heart clenches in anticipation - Come on kid, you’ve got this. Tris steps into the turn and Lexa feels her breath catch in her lungs her right foot sticks and her knee bends. Slowly her hips open up back toward where she came stepping down with a slightly awkward crossover. The part is easy to improve. The girl just has to get her strength back and learn how to use her knee again. It won’t be long at all before she is back to full speed and Lexa could not be happier for the little baller.
A huge smile breaks out across the girl's face and Lexa’s shoulders relax as she breathes a sigh of relief. Atta girl! She turns and gives a small fist pump to find Clarke who is grinning almost as large as Tris is as she claps a few times - well done, coach . Lexa shoots a smirk in her direction and you doubted me. “Alright, that’s enough for today I think.” Triss nods in happy agreement and Clarke shakes her head, it’s almost as if she wasn’t even here. She wasn’t mad though. She loved watching Lexa with kids. Tris wasn’t a kid-kid but it still counts. Her heart shows and it leaves Clarke utterly in awe.
Two walk toward their stuff grabbing their bags and hanging them loosely over their shoulders practically mirroring each other. Lexa’s arm hangs over the younger girl’s shoulders as she reaches across her own body to give a high five which the player meets happily. “Thank you.”
“That was all you, kid. You just had to get out of your head.” She reaches up to grab just over the loose ponytail on Tris’s head as she pushes forward making her duck slightly forward as they walk reminiscent of the nuggies Anya still insists on giving her.
“Yeah, yeah.”
“Are you guys lifting?” Clarke asks as the girls up ahead look at each other before they check back toward the blonde answering yes simultaneously as if it was the dumbest question to ever be asked. “Good to know.” Clarke laughs as she follows behind them.
The lights snap on in the weight room. “So, Clarke…” Tris smiles as she takes a sip from the drinking fountain, Lexa pulls her sweats back on and wipes the back of her neck with a towel. Tris catches a small warning look from those narrowing green eyes but decides to ignore it. “You actually going to work out or you just gonna sit there and watch?”
Lexa chuckles at a chance to gain up on the blonde with jokes for once “She has a point, Clarke.” She shrugs as she drops to her hands and knees before getting into front leaning rest. “I mean I know golf is a spectator sport but…”
“Is it even a sport?” Tris asks taking a seat in the leg extension chair. "They don't even carry their own clubs." She shakes her head as if it were a shame. "I mean cheerleading is more of a sport than golf."
“How original of you two and we did carry our own clubs, thank you very much.” She sticks her tongue out and crinkles her nose. Lexa nearly drops to her knees as she watches the woman put headphones in with a quirk of her eyebrow as she heads to the bike. Damn she’s cute. It’s not like it takes a genius to see that though. Anyone with eyes could surely see that the blonde was incredibly beautiful. Lexa loved the way her hips slightly swayed as she walked, the way she stuck her chest out just a little - not that she needed too, her chest was.. Amazing. It is amazing. Especially as she leans over the bike her tank top's neckline sagging slightly with the pull of gravity and Lexa can’t pull her eyes away. But she does, however, to take in the little curls of blonde hair sticking to Clarke’s pale neck as she works up a sweat. The way her tongue sticks out of the corner of her as she focuses on adjusting the settings. The way her long fingers wipe her hair back from her forehead just to have the light baby hairs fall right back in place.
“Woody. Quit staring.” Tris hisses at a whisper and kicks Lexa in the side from where she sits on the weight machine, knocking Lexa over onto her side as her elbow buckles dropping her from her front leaning rest. Lexa’s arms completly exhausted from the pushups she had pressed out a few minutes ago and the ones she had tried to wear herself out with earlier that morning when she couldn’t find sleep.
“Shut up.” She looks back over her shoulder at the girl struggling to extend her leg forward. Lexa leans back on her hands and watches as Tris’s brow forming beads of sweat as her knuckles whiten against the handles at her sides. Her hips lifting slightly from the seat as she strains her neck forward. “Take weight off if you need to. You need to get full extension.”
“I’m fine.”
“Right.” The weight drops as Tris relaxes her knee and fills the small room with an echo even Clarke can hear over her headphones as she looks up to offer a smile to where Lexa has moved on to v-ups. Tris liked to tease her about how much she worked on her core - “One order of washboard abs for Dr. Hottie coming right up.” - however much Lexa liked the way being fit made her feel a strong core helps with a weak back, the abs were just a bonus. Not that she let anyone really see her shirtless anyway. A semi defeated huff comes after another attempt at the weight before Tris reaches to drop it down a plate.
It isn’t long before Tris is standing over Lexa as she lays on the bench below the bar. The younger girl standing absent mindedly over her mentor as the bar seems to bounce off her chest as she presses her upper back into the padded bench, arms burning the whole way, shoulder popping annoyingly as the bar descends in another rep.
“You think I could make it in the army?”
“Depends.” Lexa huffs out as she presses the bar off her chest.
“So no…”
“No,” The bar hits her chest again as she struggles to get her elbows extended. Tris’s hand drops down and hovers just below the bar halted from helping with a quick look from Lexa. The bar finally gets up the right side slightly after the left as the older woman finishes her answer “depends on what one you want.”
“Like you.” Without even bothering to try to get the next rep in Lexa allows the bar to fall against it’s rests and sits up. Sweaty hands leave damp spots on her shorts as she wipes them and spins sideways on the bench to face the girl leaning up against the squat rack sucking a bubble back between her teeth.
“Tris you don’t need to follow my footsteps. You really could go pro.” The two work to adjust the bench to squatting, Tris done lifting for the day and Lexa wanting to get a good last set in. She just hopes Clarke is too busy doing her own workout to notice the squats-she wouldn’t be happy.
Putting the weights on Triss stops to look across the bar at Lexa who adds the same, hands resting atop the rubber coating of the plate. “You could have too. Still could probably. I know you turned down a full ride to Uconn for West Point. And Jess was saying you could have tried for the Olympic team but you picked the Army instead.”
“That was a long time ago.” Lexa sighs as she steps below the bar adjusting her hands to the outside of the grips and putting the bar on the bruise she feels at the base of her neck from the last time she squatted. She could have. Lexa knew she was good. They’d have let her played and do the reserves while they trained for the olympics. The army had a program for that but that wasn’t why she joined. They were going back to war and she had the chance to be a Green Beret. It broke a little part of her heart to give up that chance to go to the olympics but who was she kidding… she was a warrior through and through, basketball just was something she did. Or that’s what she told herself when she would wonder what her life would have been like. “Anyway I thought you wanted to be a surgeon, they always need surgeons anyway. But between that and what I do... The jobs are pretty much opposites.”
Stepping out from under the bar Lexa turns to look at Clarke who is doing squats on top of a bosu ball. The older woman rests her elbow on the bar and sees Tris watch the blonde as well completely unaware of the thoughts running through her mentors head. Clarke saves lives and Lexa takes them. Clarke is too good for her in every way possible and Lexa feels like a liar not letting the blonde know she can do so much better.
Tris snaps Lexa from her thoughts with another loud pop of her gum. Lexa gets back under the weights and the younger girl only shrugges. “Not really. It’s helping people.”
“Tris… to do what I do… you have to be ok with killing people.” She stands lifting the bar from where it rests and steps backward a little. “A lot of people. Anyone could be a target.”
Lexa dips down focusing on form as her back pulls and scolds her for being a dumbass. Suck it up. “Isn’t that how war works?”
She lets out a breath as she stands back up to the top before dipping down again, the brunette moving around to the outside of the rack. “It’s not-” Another squat with more pulsing in her back with increasing intensity of the invisible knife twisting just below her ribcage along the centerline “-that simple.”
“Why not?” She asks as Lexa does another rep, struggling to extend her not quite as good leg fully. “They are bad people doing bad things.”
Sweat is running down the valley of Lexa’s spine and darkening the top of her shorts as she steps forward to rerack the weights unable to focus on lifting and this conversation at the same time but also needing to add more weight. “It's not about killing what's in front of you-sometimes it is truthfully- but all the time it's about defending those beside and behind you. They fight for different things then we do but some of them are in the wrong place at the wrong time.”
Tris only looks at her as they slide the remainder of the weight onto the bar. “I can’t explain it. I used to do that, take away the humanity, it makes it easier, it does but if humanity goes away how am I any better then them? Sure some of the guys do it to try to get past it but I don’t like the person I am when I do that. Most don’t. It is scary.”
“Is it painful? To kill someone?” She finds herself in front of the weight this time. 200. This should be easy Lexa. Come on.
“Sometimes, but something I learned a long time ago is that pain is what tells you you are alive. If it doesn't hurt I’d be more worried. The day it stops hurting again... I hope I am never alive to see that day. They deserved to be punished, yes. And I’m more then willing to bring the hurt to them but I feel it with every body that hits the ground. It is complicated.”
More then finished with the conversation Lexa stands again knee wobbling slightly at the weight. Don’t be a bitch . Tuck is 240. Down. Up. Fuck me, this hurts. Down. Up. It’s not about you. Down. Up. It’s for your brothers. Nut up. Let’s go.
“Why though? That doesn’t make sense. Can’t you just kill the bad guys and call it a day?”
“No. Tris. You can’t.” Two more come on.
“Why not? I don’t understand that.” Of course she wouldn’t, there is no way too unless you’ve been there. Unless it consumes the majority of your thoughts - how do be a good person and do what you do - how to get the job done and not lose yourself - how to take care of those people without making things worse.
Racking the weights again she catches her breath a moment and dives into an answer Tris may not like. Most civilians don’t. “They use civilians as shields. They hold meetings in schools and Mosques and hospitals. We tell noncombatants to leave, they threaten to kill them if they do. There are a lot of hindrances. Sure, we could just go fuck em up like the cowards truthfully deserve but maybe we’d catch more people in the crossfire and that can’t happen - it happens too much as it is. You could argue that the ends justify the means but we are better than that. We play by the rules as much as we can. We hold a certain moral standard and if we compromise that we deserve to lose. Hell, once you compromise your honor you've already lost. It doesn't matter if you live or die at that point as far as I'm concerned.”
“Rules like what?” Lexa can’t help but stare open mouthed at the girl racking more weight across from her. “What? I want to know.”
“Ok so you and your guys are on a patrol, you get in a firefight. Our ROE says not to shoot anyone unarmed or injured. They also say that we are to get their wounded medical attention.”
“So…?”
“So they know that. If they get shot they wait for us to check them and they shoot or they blow a grenade or they stab your guys. Guys you are responsible for to get back home. Your brothers. You want to make the order to double tap every single one of those ass holes on sight, wounded, armed or not because they fake it and it is killing your people. They are a bunch of cowards with no honor at all but you can’t do that. You can’t compromise your morals and you lose people because of it. Not to mention getting prosecuted as a murder if anyone were to find out. ”
“Or how bout this a woman is walking toward you screaming and yelling about helping her baby. There is a bundle in her arms but you can’t see any skin. It looks like a baby but it also looks pretty heavy. You can’t tell. You tell her to stop multiple times but she keeps advancing toward your platoon. You keep telling her to stop and unwrap the item but she is hysterical. She could be upset about her sick baby or it could be a bomb. Do you shoot her or do you let her approach your team keeping in mind that if she's not carrying a bomb you'll be tried for killing a civilian and leave a baby without a mother?”
The girl thinks for a moment, gnawing on her gum, before nodding to herself with confidence. “Don’t shoot.”
“You just killed everyone with you. 12 men dead. I shot her, that way at least it was me getting trouble not one of my guys. That burden of innocent death would have been on my head, but it was a bomb. If it wasn’t though I’d have been put on trial and face going to prison for murder of a civilian. Not so easy now is it? I have hundreds of these stories and calls like that one. Some I got wrong, some I didn’t. It is not easy and it’s even harder to deal with later.”
“Look, kid, decisions are easy to make when it is between right and wrong. There is no decision really, but what if there is no right answer? What if each choice is morally sound or maybe not so much? What then? What happens when you operate in the grey but the grey looks dark to those back home or the ones judging from behind a desk?”
Clarke jogs over and pulls out an ear bud as she comes into Lexa’s peripheral vision. “You two actually working or just standing around talking.”
“I was just helping Tris with a career decision.” Lexa grabs her shoulder and gives it a warm squeeze. “She thinks she might want to be a surgeon.”
"Really? That's awesome. I'm sure we can get you in an OR sometime if you want." Without more of a muttered “yeah” for an answer from the girl still deep in thought Lexa ducks below the bar once more to finish her last set. Tris slides in behind her knowing she’ll need a spot for sure. She saw how her mentor’s knee shook the last round, the vein sticking out in her forehead as she fought against her throbbing back. The brunette just grits her teeth and stands up backing away from the bar. You can do this. 6 reps that’s it.
After the first squat her hip is shooting pain down her leg and up her side. It feels like a knife is lodged below her ribcage on her right side and she thinks of how easy it would be to just let the weights roll off her shoulders to bounce off the ground. Not a fucking chance, Woods.5 more.
“There you go Woody.” Makes it into her ears as they fill with ringing dipping into her next rep. Her back is killing her but she’s gotta be able to do this. If she can’t lift something lighter then Tuck how can she know she can still carry his weight if he needs her too?
As she bends her knees a gain a small grunt passes her pressed lips “Ahh.” If she was being honest it was more of a cry. Lexa wasn’t though, when was she ever about her body anymore? But she didn’t need too be, not a moment later there were hands at her sides supporting her as she tried to finish, her neck straining forward struggling to stand back up. Don’t you fucking quit.
“I think that’s enough for today.” Clarke’s deep voice speaks firmly against her ear, her hands still resting on the sides of Lexa ribcage.
“One more.” She grits through her teeth. Relishing in the warmth of the blonde behind her, feeling that with her support she could do a million of these but also knowing that she probably couldn’t make it back to the rack without her help.
The blonde says nothing as she moves to the side as Tris gets the hint and does the same, lifting some of the weight from Lexa’s shoulders as the three of them rack the bar. Disappointment and a hint of anger throb through Lexa’s body with the stabbing pain. “I could have gotten it.”
Bull shit. You can hardly stand up right now. Lexa’s mind bounces back to a time in the hospital when she was so frustrated with the weakness she had asked if there was a better chance she could go back if they just took her leg. She read about a Marine who did it, he was back in Syria just outside a year. -“Fuckin chop it off if that’s what it takes! I don’t care! At least that leg will be bulletproof.” - But that wouldn’t work either. She was fresh out of options, except waiting and hoping for a miracle . And now here she was again, hoping to god for another miracle to somehow get her through this deployment. But maybe, getting through this deployment meant mentally while she was stuck at a desk instead of physically being in the field- and maybe just maybe, that miracle was Clarke.
“Like hell.” Tris snorts at her coach being scolded for pushing too hard - someone had to do it - only to be smacked on the back of the head by Clarke. “Don’t.” The younger woman doesn’t need to be told twice and empties the bar without a word as Clarke walks with Lexa to their stuff by the drinking fountain. “You ok?”
“Nothing a little ice can’t fix.”
“You and your ice.” Lexa sighs as a quick kiss is pressed to her cheek and strong thumbs press into her back through her shirt rubbing the length of Clarke’s reach along Lexa’s stiff back. Lexa sucks in a sharp breath at the press initially before relaxing into the pressure. “Take it easy the rest of the day, ok?” The green eyed wonder dips her head in agreement before mouthing a thank you. Lexa pulls her soaking wet shirt from her body and quickly replaces it with a dry fit long sleeve that feels about a thousand pounds lighter. She does however catch piercing blue eyes raking over her body and glances up to meet them, a blush forming on Clarke's cheeks once she realizes she got caught.
“Woody, I think Dr. Hottie likes what she sees.” Tris laughs as she walks between the two still holding eye contact to hold the door open for them to follow. "One order of sweat glazed ab-"
“You will walk.” Lexa warns with an incredibly threatening tone that only pulls a laugh from the other two women as they walk. Sure the brunette was intimidating but Tris knew better and so did Clarke. She was really just a puppy at heart, no way would she hold to it. “It’s about 7:40. When do you have to be to the hospital?
The cool morning air hits Lexa cheeks already warming in the gentle sunlight stretching over the trees around the campus. “9, but if I’m in early I can finish faster.”
“I bet you can.” Lexa watches as Clarke's cheeks turn to a deep shade of pink as she slides into the passenger's seat and knocks the side of her head on the top of the car.
“Tris. Shut up.” That doesn't even make sense. Lexa grabs the girl's bag off her shoulder and tosses it in the trunk as the girl lays down across the back seat, feet leaving small foggy footprints where they rest against the window. The warning falls on practically deaf ears however. The girl is already shutting her eyes to fall back asleep. Unbelievable .
A few minutes on the road Lexa pulls off into the parking lot of the gas station that she frequented a couple months ago 100% only for her need of ice. The nice thing even now is that Clarke and her don’t need to talk. The car ride is a comfortable silence so far and as she starts the gas Lexa pops her head in the door. “You want anything - besides coffee?”
“No it’s ok. I’ll just grab something at the hospital. Thanks.” An easy smile plays across those green eyes. Lexa nods briefly before disappearing into the gas station a stiff hitch in her step despite her legs feeling more like jello than anything that could be considered stiff.
Quickly she returns to the car handing one of the two coffees across the center of the car before tossing a glazed donut onto the half asleep girl’s chest in the back seat. The kid opens her eyes a moment to smile a thank you to Lexa before silently eating the doughnut, eyes still closed.
Clarke holds the brown styrofoam cup to her face taking a long whiff of it’s aroma before crinkling her nose at the gas station coffee eyeing lexa wearily. “Oh my god you are a coffee snob.”
“Am not.” Clarke pulls the cup down to hold it in her lap watching Lexa take a sip of her own before looking down at the steaming cup in consideration.
“Sure. Just try it. It’s good.” The blonde slowly takes a sip, swishing the beverage around her teeth. Lexa can’t help but think how chue clarke is in her passenger seat, thinking hard about coffee of all things fairly early in the morning, hair still a little damp from their workout, one of Lexa’s favorite army hoodies hanging loose from her figure. She hadn’t realized the blonde had worked out enough to work that much of a sweat. She smiles to herself with an opportunity to tease the woman passing through her mind as easily as the coffee slid over her tongue.
Clarke lets out a low hum with the coffee making its way down her throat. “Good yeah?” A blonde head bobs forward in the side of Lexa’s vision. “Told you.”
“Lex I can feel the sugar on my teeth.” She chuckles as she takes another drink. “What did you put in this?” The girl laughs, her blonde waves falling out of her ponytail bouncing softly around her face. Her blue eyes seem to glow in the morning sun shining through the dusty windshield.
“Top secret recipe, sorry Clarke.” Lexa grins before taking another sip of her own coffee that dribbles down her chin leaving a few drops on her faded grey t-shirt. Quickly she puts the coffee between her legs, her old car lacking cup holders if she’s using the charging port - which Tris is, of course, anything to make my interactions with Clarke more awkward. Not that Lexa needed any help in that area. The struggling brunette wipes her chin with the back of her hand, fighting the blush exploding on her cheeks at Clarkes laugh as the blonde’s hand reaches between Lexa’s legs to grab her coffee pinched between her thighs. Her hand brushes Lexa’s inner thigh which only causes a coughing fit as Lexa swallows the rest of the hot drink down the wrong pipe. Smooth. Tears squeeze out of the corner of her forest eyes at the lack of air reaching her lungs, apparently deciding that she would rather inhale her caffeine this morning.
“Here.” Clarke hands her a napkin which she accepts promptly wiping her face and dabbing at the edge of her collar. “You’re so cute. Who knew..” Lexa swears she sees the blonde shoot another wink at her but she can’t be quite sure so she lets her eyes shift to the side of her, slowly followed by the rest of her attention as she catches those perfect blue eyes smiling at her with a softness only Clarke can manage. Unfortunately, though, Lexa is pulled from the moment of getting lost in the calming sky of Clarke’s eyes abruptly as the rumble strips on the side of the road so rudely interrupt their moment and snap her attention back to the road. Both her hands flying to the steering wheel to distract from her embarrassment of being so lost in the woman beside her she forgot how to drive for a moment, breathe too, but no chance in hell was she about to admit that.
“Soldiers aren’t supposed to be cute, Clarke.” She swallows and readjusts her hands on the wheel - slipping back to her mask as her stomach flutters with embarrassment. Chlake only reaches across to take her hand and pull it into her lap. Effectively pulling Lexa back from her stoic exterior, an easy expression falling over the brunettes face.
“Whatever you say Commander.”
“Cap-tain, I’m no squid.” Lexa turns her head again to see a monumental eye roll she is coming to know as a staple Clarke reaction to just about everything.
“Oh, shut up and try not to run us off the road.” The blonde teases as she gently drops Lexa’s hand and pokes her cheek to turn the woman’s face and shining green eyes back toward the road. Lexa’s hand finds its resting place on the inside of the blonde’s knee. Slowly dragging her thumb back and forth over the smooth pale skin slowly growing goosebumps. She was completely unsure how Clarke was with cars since the accident she had shared with Lexa. Lexa just hoped she hadn't caused the blonde any discomfort.
Clarke leans back in the chair with a content hum and closes her eyes pulling yet another smile to Lexa’s face. She can hear Anya’s teasing already. You’re a giant fucking dork, you get that right?Jesus fuck, Lexa. At this point in time, with Clarke’s hand resting on her forearm as he dozes off next to her, Lexa is no where near finding it in her to care. Not even a little.
She hadn’t slept the night before. Worried sick about her explosion. She had been sick to her stomach all night. Tossing and turning in her bad that suddenly felt so empty without Clarke’s body beside her. She can’t help but let her mind wander to other empty beds. God if this is even a fraction of how Anya feels without Gus…
Lexa doesn’t really know how her sister dealt with it. She guesses it explains why she never left the hospital, choosing to sleep next to Lexa or in the chair next to her bed or on the bench/windowsill thing in the corner of the room. She had even caught Nyko holding her one time when a nurse woke her up to check her vitals because her heartbeat had dropped too low. She had smiled at who she thought was the older of the twins. “Hey Gus, where you been?”
Both Anya, who wasn’t actually asleep turned to face Lexa cheeks clearly stained with tears, and Gus’s - Nyko - face had dropped and gone completely ashen despite their natural complexions. Nyko had reached out and put his large hand over her forearm with a sadness so deep Lexa had felt it suck her own sleepy content in like a black hole. “Lex.. Gus is dead.”
“What do you mean you died, you’re right here.” Tears drip from the large man’s eyes as he shakes his head. Lexa almost rolls her eyes at what she thought was a charade, Gus always could fake cry. “Where’s Nyko? This isn’t funny Gus. Cut it out. I’m not that high.”
“Lex…” Anya had spoken softly as if trying not to shatter the very air between them. She was at a complete loss of how to break it to Lexa. She thought she knew. She thought Lexa just wasn’t saying anything for her sake. How are there words for this? After everything…
“Prove it.” Nyko turns his arm over to reveal the scar on the inside of the joint. Nyko had gotten it when they had jumped a fence somewhere in the forest when they were stationed in Germany. Lexa closed her eyes trying to wrap her head around the missing part to the “core four” being gone for good. Only shards of a memory rocket through her head. Gus cut down in front of her. She could see a blur of a body fall to the ground just over the toes of her boots from where she lay on her back in the dust growing muddy with someone’s blood: struggling to lift her gun before her fingers were smashed with a kick, the gun too far out of reach to protect her now… “No… God damnit.”
“We spread the ashes back by the beach house. They found the body when your replacement extract swept the area. You were already gone by the time they got there. There was a lot of blood. We didn’t know if you had made it and when there was no news for a month and a half we cremated him.”
“Why didn’t you say anything?”
“We thought you knew. I’m so sorry Lexa.” Anya was sitting now though still embraced by Nyko behind her. The wounded soldier couldn’t figure out why Anya was consoling her, it was her husband, the love of her life, her best friend that was gone and Lexa had a terrible feeling that it was her fault. It always was. Her older sister’s gentle hand runs over the top of Lexa’s head as Nyko continues to rub her arm, his other hand still resting just above Lexa’s wrist.
“No, I’m sorry, Anya. I told you I’d bring him home. I failed. Again.”
“No, little one, you didn’t. There wasn’t anything you could have done.” but Lexa had known deep down there was, she had messed up somehow and cost her brother his life even if she couldn’t remember how yet. There had to have been something she could have done.
“What you thinking about in that pretty little head of yours, huh?” The blonde runs her hand over Lexa’s forearm pulling her back to the present. Lexa felt the butterflies stir again as she realizes her hand is still resting on the woman’s knee.
“Oh, nothing important.” She sighs past the stinging at the end of her nose, her thumb returning to trace back and forth over Clarke’s leg. “I missed you last night. The bed felt empty.”
“I didn’t sleep well either, Lexa. I missed you too.”
“Really?”
“Yes, really.” a small smile replaces Lexa’s almost pained expression as she tried to suppress the hope welling up in her heart. She knew Clarke cared, she did. Why else would she stick around after everything? But for her to hear that, that someone might actually love her back enough despite everything.. It made her heart soar. “Do you think it’s kinda early?”
“A little, but I’ve never felt this way before.”
“Me either.”
“Thank you. For coming this morning. You didn’t have too.”
“I wanted too. Which is a big deal for me. Not really a fan of working out. O has to drag my ass to the gym.” She burrows a little further into Lexa’s hoodie, nose disappearing through the worn cotton. “Not going to lie she was a little butt hurt I got up to go with you so willingly.”
“I’ll be sure to tease her next time I see her on base then.”
“Please do.” Clarke laughs knowing that O will 100% embarrass Lexa with jokes about her and Clarke's relationship. She knew the two were acquaintances running into each other often on base. Octavia had been slightly obsessed with the girl when they first gou out here. Clarke just hadn’t put two and two together until Jackson had said something at the hospital. Then she had O and her new sweetheart of a boyfriend dish on all things Lexa they could think of.
The car falls silent again as Lexa is pulling up to the doctors entrance in the parking garage. “Tris. Wake up.” She wiggles the girl's leg reaching into the back seat as Clarke opens the door. The blonde leans over the center console and gives her a firm kiss on the lips as Lexa turns back around with one hand on the wheel the other falling naturally around Clarke’s shoulders.
“Ahhh my eyessss! For the love of god make it stop!” The girl protests from the back of the car.
Clarke smiles against the brunette’s mouth who only melts further into the kiss. Lexa could kiss this woman forever, just like this, and be perfectly content. If the world were to have come to a stop at that moment, Lexa would have no complaints. Not until the blonde leans back to press another quick peck on her wanting lips before sliding out of the car “Love you,” She leans back in and steals another quick kiss her fingertips rubbing the back of Lexa's scalp softly “see you guys this afternoon.”
Nope. This moment. The world can end at this moment. Lexa isn’t sure if heaven itself could possibly be better than this. Clarke just said she loved her. Holy shit. Clarke loves her.
Both the women are frozen, Clarke stopping herself from walking away as she just realizes what’s slipped from those perfect lips of hers, Lexa watching dumbfounded as the blonde walks across the front of ther car and freezes. Her beautiful blue eyes going wide. Lexa can’t even hear the snickers coming from the back seat as Clarke rounds the hood of the car and walks up to Lexa’s window still rolled down from grabbing the parking ticket thing. Is that ok? “Are we-”
Blushing and grinning ear to ear the brunette reaches out the window to ball her sweatshirt in her fist and pull Clarke in for a kiss. “Perfect. We’re perfect.” Tris acts like she is gagging in the back seat while the two older women get lost in the kiss for another moment before Clarke steps away with a smile.
“Ok. I uh gotta go.” She tosses her thumb over her shoulder as she backs up. “See you later?”
“Yes.” Lexa smiles as Tris climbs into the front seat. “Go. Nyko’s going to blame me if you're late.”
Lexa watches Clarke disappear behind the door a goofy smile still on her lips. Clarke loves me. “Hate to see her go but love to watch her leave, huh Woody?” Tris says as she slides into the seat next to her, clicking the seat belt before nudging Lexa’s arm with her elbow.
“I can bench you you know that right.”
“I'm still broken so I'm benched anyway and season doesn’t start till August. Empty threats there Coach.” She shrugs as she reclines the chair again for their short drive back. “Besides, I’m our only point guard.”
“You're annoying.”
“You love me.”
“Highly debatable.” Lexa throws the car into drive, her arms sluggish with fatigue to respond to even grabbing the steering wheel. Tris falling silent in the seat next to her warns a head shake from the brunette driving, her pony tail tickling the back of her neck now that her hair had dried some. It amazed Lexa how much that kid slept, especially in the car.
“So, question..”
“What?”
"Are you not ready to say it back or did you just get so excited you forgot?” Shit. She didn’t say it back. How could she not say it back? What was wrong with her? Lexa knew she loved Clarke. She knew that first day she spent with the blonde in her apartment. That first time Clarke had kissed her Lexa knew. “Oh my god. You didn’t even realize you didn’t say it back did you?” Tris erupts in laughter, her knees bending toward her chest where she reclines in the passenger seat. “Anya is going to love this.”
Lexa drops her head forward as the come to a stop back at the apartment. Her forehead bounces off the leather cover on her steering wheel. “Fuck.” She turns her head to the side still resting on the steering wheel to find Tris still calming down from her fit of laughter. “Do I go back and tell her?”
“I-dunno-coach.” She laughs as the two limp back to the apartment opting to take the elevator. “She’s coming over later right? Just tell her then. Hell maybe you should just text her to make sure you don’t get so lost in her eyes you forget again. Or her chest... or her ass.. or her lips.. hm.. where do you actually look? Because I can't really tell. Anyway, that way you can't get distracted.. 'cause you do that a lot. Like a lot a lot.”
“Tris I swear…” Lexa grabs the back of her neck firmly but in good nature. “One of these days I might actually kill you.”
“Another empty threat? Na, you’d miss me too much. Besides you don’t even have your gun on you.”
“What makes you think I need a gun?” Lexa drops the smile and goes 100% stone cold killer mode for a moment.
“Point taken.” The girl holds her hands up surrendering for a moment as she goes into her room to jump in the shower while Lexa makes them some food - correction - while Lexa sticks a pizza in the oven. Those are pretty hard to screw up, not that she hasn't managed to do that before... hell she once caught a damn corn dog on fire.. in the microwave.
“God, I’m an idiot.” The brunette mutters to herself pulling her hand over her face after sitting down on the couch. How the hell did she not even realize she didn’t say it back?
She doesn’t hear the footsteps behind her as Tris tosses a clean towel at her for her shower that hits her square in the chest “True.”
“Tris.” She growls making her way to the shower while almost shrugging internally. Well, the girl has a point.