Little Man
The little boy about 7 years old looks up at his mom smiling cheekily under his shaggy blonde hair and Lexa’s heart almost stops. The slender woman runs her hand on the back of his head as she smiles back down. Good. They are happy. He wanted that.
*
Lexa removes herself from the party going on inside to the cool fall air and clear stars of the November night sky. The air is refreshing from the warmth of the dancing bodies just inside the door. Little puffs of breath remind her that winter is coming but she will soon be in a much warmer place. It’s calm out here compared to that of the nearly stuffing atmosphere of the shenanigans going on inside.
She leans her elbows and torso on the raining of the cool stone railing holding her on the balcony. Every year she came out her to escape the party. When she was younger her father would join her for a moment but without him the tradition has continued and without fail someone joins her. The noise of the party inside muffled by the closed door leaps to life a moment as someone slides out. She doesn’t bother look though, the view is too pretty and she will figure out who it is soon enough. They aren’t a threat.
“Happy Birthday LT.” Tuck rests his arms on the railing next to Lexa and leans into her a moment. She turns her head to see smiling green eyes with this ridiculous blonde hair cut into a skin fade - higher and tighter - he always brags running his hand over his head.
“It’s your birthday, Tuck. I just come along for the cake.” She chuckles shaking her head. Damn Jarheads. Yeah, but Tuck was her jarhead. They had done so many missions together he was basically her partner. She really like this new joint effort they were doing. Lexa always loved the Marines.
“Thank you for making sure I was here to see it.”
“You know you don’t need to thank me. You’ve saved my ass plenty.”
“I know. The wife made me promise I’d thank you…even though you’re Army.” The man winks and nudges her again, his arms firm below his black uniform. “Never understood why you didn’t go MARSOC. You fit better with us.”
“Hows is the wife doing? Didn’t see her tonight.” Lexa glances to Anya inside dancing with Gus and catches a smile cracking her lips.
He drops his head for a moment as he chuckles “14 weeks pregnant.” The man is beaming, white shining teeth, big ass dimples, shining eyes and all.
Lexa grips his shoulder with a beer in her other hand “Congrats Tuck, let’s hope the little one gets Carol’s brains, huh?”
“Yeah yeah, idiot Marine jokes, I’ve heard them all before.” He playfully laughs back at the joke. The inter service rivalry is intense but usually it's in good fun. Especially for Lexa who got it more than most, being raised by mostly Navy and Marine Corps guys. It takes a village…
“I’m happy for you.” The brunette holds her beer towards him as they clink the two bottles together easily over the side of the railing.
“I didn’t know how to ask but… we want you to be the godmother.”
“I’d be honored. Are you going to find out what it is?” Lexa offers a large smile to the man she had grown to know over the last couple of years. They had met when she was doing some training over the summer with the Naval Academy and they became immediate friends: bonding over kneeling in the mud, rifles slung over their shoulder listening to some Gunny talk while they tried to catch their breath. “Tired Squid?” - “Not a chance. It’s Tuck by the way.”He had offered with a toothy grin brightening a war-painted face that only brought on more yelling for breaking his bearing. It was worth it.
He would make an amazing father.
“Na, I like surprises.” Yeah, you dumb ass, I guess you do.
*
“Lexa? You ok?” The blonde turns to face the brunette who glances down at her. “Who is it?”
“What? No, it’s my godson. He looks just like Tuck.”
*
“G, get your ass in here!” Tuck calls from the other other room sitting in front of their computer. Turning from the computer and beaming up at his dear friend as she looks over his shoulder. “Carol, had a boy!” A woman with her blonde hair plastered to her forehead with sweat laying in a hospital bed with a little bundle in her arms. She holds the baby, hardly visible, except for his face toward the camera for the two to see.
“Meet Aiden Tucker Kean” her southern accent pulls through, Lexa always thought Tuck fell in love with her accent first. He loved it and Lexa loved to tease him about it.
A ground shaking explosion makes the computer rattle on the desk and the two watching the sleeping baby on the screen gripping something for support Tucker grumbles under his breath “damn it”.
“What was that?” Her eyes go wide as she pulls the sleeping child back into her hospital gown covered body.
Glancing up at Lexa he catches her eyes - that’s not good - no shit Tuck, we gotta go. “Oh nothing baby, Tommy just fell out of his rack again.”
The young LT calls from the other side of the room, “I heard that you fuck” only giving the blonde man a shit eating grin that seemed so natural on him. The guy loved to tease people. He always joked about the most inappropriate shit, if civilians heard half the stuff they said out here… oh boy. He tended to run his mouth on the motto “What doesn’t kill you gives you a really dark sense of humor and unhealthy coping mechanisms” and Lexa thought that was one of the truest things she had heard about the military. You see, there were two types of fun. Type 1 fun was stuff that was actually fun. Type 2 fun was stuff that sucked really bad but was funny after the fact because "holy shit I can't believe we did that/got through that." But honestly there was a third type no one really talked about.. shit that sucked so bad in the moment all you could really do was laugh. Her and Tuck had seen more of that shit then most. The funniest part about the different kinds of fun though, was that just about everything she could think of fit into one of those categories.
A click stills the air as the CO comes over the 1MC “Task Force prepare to engage.”
With the announcement his shoulders slouch a little bit as he smiles and kisses his hand before pressing it to the screen. Lexa’s hand still on his shoulder squeezes a second reminding him that they really have to get going. “I gotta go baby.”
“You two stay safe—Lexa, keep him out of trouble for me.”
“Yes, mamma.”
“I’ll do my best.”
The computer clicks off and they are moving to grab their gear from their racks “G!” Tuck, already in his vest, hands Lexa hers as she grabs their helmets and rifles from the wall. Walking as they trade gear and slide into the heavy green material as they head to the wardroom for a quick rundown of assignments. Lexa tosses his rifle to him as they turn the corner—here we go.
*
“You have a godson?” The girl glances up at her pretty surprised. She hadn’t taken Lexa for the religious type. Not that there was anything wrong with that. She just guessed she had more to talk to the brunette about then she had thought.
Lexa was still watching the little boy move from the stuffing station to where they washed it off with air, Mom hanging back to let little Aiden do his thing. The slender woman turned and caught Lexa’s eye doing almost a double take. She hadn’t heard that her husband’s friend was out here. They hadn’t heard much from her since she had woken up. Tuck was worried about her but there was only so much he could do from deployment. He had taken extra tours with things picking up over there - “Baby. I love you both, but someone’s got to do it.” Her son really missed both his dad and his best buddy X-a.
“Yeah, that little blondie over there. Haven't seen him since before my last deployment.” Guilt rushes her gut as she knows Tuck is still over there and she is her spending time with her girlfriend when he could be spending time over here with his family. She could have been there for Aiden with his dad gone too, God knows Tuck always looked out for her.
*
Lexa is so glad to be getting out of this hell hole, another mission down, more suck embraced, the third big one in two weeks. She is really looking forward to her leave coming up for the first time in her career. Anya talked her into taking it for once. This pace was wearing on her. She was so tired she couldn’t sleep, her body was sore as shit. It would be nice to heal up and take some time for herself for a little while. She needed to refocus, Tuck even agreed.
She is only dreading getting on the ship that was picking them up. Lexa experienced her first hatred of the sea when she was on a cruise with a MEU over one of her summers at West Point. She had gotten so sea sick in their brief time at sea, but she loved diving. The brunette focuses on the deep rhythmic nature of the long breaths through the salty rubber peace in her mouth. Diving was awesome, she just hated these damn boats.
Reaching their coordinates she makes eye contact with Tuck beside her as he gives her a thumbs up. Time to surface.. fuck me. The bottom of the boat grows bigger as they climb, the moonlight growing slightly brighter as the sun starts to rise over the horizon. When her head breaks the surface she feels the push and pull of the waves on her body resume. It always fascinated Lexa that under the water the surge felt more like a breeze then actually moving you.
They swim up to the Ladder in science both exhausted from their time ashore. Lexa hands her rifle up the ladder to the petty officer before tossing her mask up, the air feeling good on her face. She slides out of the fins and tosses them to the deck as well as she climbs up before Tuck. The back pulling heavy on her back as she emerges from the water climbing higher on the ladder, it would be so easy just to side back into the sea now rocking the boat to way more then Lexa’s liking. She loved the water. Lexa just hated these boats.
Once fully out of the water a petty officer helped her out of the UBA pulling it off her back and putting it away as Tuck climbs up behind her. She offers thanks to the sailor helping her as she stumbles to her right and grabs the bars sticking from the overhead to steady herself, wishing it would steady her stomach before pulling off the top of her wetsuit: ripped at her hip where she had gotten a little too close to needing more stitches from the corpsman.
She peels the warm suit from her arms and folds it to hang at her waist exposing her torso to the cool morning air, her bruised abs and ribs exposed or poking out from under her black sports bra. Her dog tags hand low on her sternum, free from the zipper scar that would be there in a little over a year. Her father’s charm hanging on the chain as well ironically near her heart. She never took it off, not since she got it from him in 7th grade.
Lexa backs up into the bench built into the side of the boat and takes a seat on the cool metal, hands on her knees fighting the churning of her stomach as voices carry on muffled in the background. Almost home—Not home. Back. Almost back. Do you even have a home anymore?
“G” She snathes the wadded up towel slightly blown in the wind, out of the air from a now smiling Tuck. She pulls the hair-tie from her hair and lets the long brown locks from the tight bun before running the towel over it and wringing the sea from her hair. She quickly wipes her arms down and drapes the damp cloth over the back of her neck. Goose bumps present on her skin as she shivers a little before the sun finds her, instantly warming the cold flesh as she lets out a little sigh.
“When are you going to stop calling me that?”
“Once a grunt, always a grunt.”
“You are so annoying. Sometimes I just want to..” She holds up her hands in the air in the general direction of his neck and pretends to choke him.
The man lets out a deep laugh and shakes his head. “Yeah, yeah, relax there killer.” He shakes the water from his hair as he leans forward into his arms above his head gripping the overhead. “I got a baby boy and a smoking hot wife to get home to.” His pruned foot taps her knee in a playful kick. “And you got some civilian girls looking for a hot piece of ass in a uniform.”
She grabs the damp cloth of her towel in her hand and whips it at his ribcage connection with a thud as it falls to the deck. It’s wetter now but it was worth hitting the man. He was annoying as shit sometimes. “Keep that shit up and I’ll…” actually kill you. Her threat gets cut off by the bitter chili MRE that was chilling in her stomach from the night before makes its reappearance over the edge of the boat. Fish food, they like to call it, and Lexa contributed a lot.
Tuck is laughing so hard at her he is clutching at his sides while he balances himself on the rocking ship with ease. This guy was born for the Navy/Marine Corps, he loved being on the ships, not as much as land stuff but he still liked it.
Lexa fills her mouth with saliva and rinses the bitter taste by spitting into the ocean, just like Gus taught her when she was a kid. Her dad was so proud but also mad… that wasn't very normal for a 10 year old girl to hatch a loogie like a ball player or run around doing god knows what with the twins. Her really missed his wife at times like that. He felt like he was doing Lexa some disservice, but he just couldn't bring himself to date again. There was a female Ssgt the was around that Lexa clung too but she wasn’t your typical female either. He was fine with it, Lexa was different, but sometimes he wondered if she wanted to be like the other girls her age.
She spits again overboard after throwing up in her mouth a little bit. “You pregnant? Morning sickness?” She shoots daggers at him with her green eyes as he still leans easily into his arms above his head holding on to the overhead. “No? Ahh.. I always knew there was a reason you didn’t go into a real service, can’t stomach it.”
“Haze yourself.” Tuck just shakes his head and a deep laugh shakes his shoulders, he always enjoyed getting a rise out of Lexa. Not that it was much of a rise, she was weirdly level headed, even for an officer, but she did get irritated and he loved it. His wetsuit folds at his waist like lexis reveals his very chiseled chest and torso, his towel draped over his neck as well hangs easily from his strong shoulders. He was really attractive for a guy, sandy hair, brown eyes, dimples and consistently rosy cheeks.
“Don’t get grumpy on me now, G. We are almost home.”
*
Clarke nudges the woman beside her with he shoulder, “Lexa.” The woman looked happy to see her and she was now crouching down and speaking with the shaggy haired boy who looked entirely too adorable as he looked up at her with wide eyes and a growing smile before he snapped his head in their direction. Lexa hadn’t caught it though, she was facing Clarke. “What’s wrong? The father, is he..?”
“No, he’s not.” The blonde saw sadness in her eyes where she expected to see joy that had been there all morning. “He’s over there right now.. and I’m..”
“Not.” That seems to snap her from where ever her mind kept taking her, God Clarke hoped it wasn’t any place too bad. She runs her hand smoothly over Lexa’s firm forearm for a moment as the brunette dipped her head forward - yeah, I’m not - “It’s ok.” She could practically see Lexa beating herself up—kicking herself in the gut, doing her worst—it was deep in her eyes though and slightly in the slouch of her shoulders but mostly Clarke could tell by her slipping back behind her mask. She always retreated there instead of showing her emotions right out.
Clarke hated that she couldn’t figure out how to make her feel better about this. Maybe she would talk to Dr. Washington. “X-aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa” A small voice gets their attention as she turns back around to a little boy sprinting as fast as his little legs would carry him to his friend. His blonde hair was bouncing on his head, cheeks growing red.
Clarke watches as Lexa begins to smile again, stepping a few short paces towards the boy as she catches him with extended arms meeting his own little extended hands. She just about catches him and lifts him up in a smooth motion, arms giving slightly under his weight. Clarke’s second thought to how cute it is to see her with a child is taken straight to Lexa's back.
Lexa spins him around a second before setting him down. “Hows my little man doing?” He stands, smile splitting his cheeks, as he waits in front of the woman. She slowly kneels down in front of him, hand on her knee to support her lower body still screaming at her from this week's workouts. She has news for Clarke but can’t figure out how to tell her. It’s great news for her, but she knows it’ll be tough for the blonde. Lexa is a little worried it will end them.
Once down to her knee the brunette leans forward even more to eye level with the little guy. Bringing her hand out slowly in front of her he taps his fist to her palm then she does the same before hitting the tops and bottoms of each other’s fists, ending in a real fist tap.
Lexa reaches out to ruffle his hair but he takes a quick step back and straightens up his back. He brings his right hand to his eyebrow, straight as can be he his shining brown eyes look into hers. A lump slides down Lexa’s throat as she quickly stands up at attention to return the salute, seriously as the boy, then resumes ruffling his hair over his hard starting to drop after a moment.
“X-a. Stop it.” He backs up again and this time finds Clarke as the mother walks up. “Who is that?”
The green eyes trained on the little bundle of joy in front of them not meet Clarkes with a smile. “Aiden, this is Clarke. Clarke, this is my best bud Aiden.”
Before Clarke realizes it a little hand is stuck out in her direction. “Hi, Ms. Clarke. I’m Aiden.”
The blonde takes the hand and returns the firm-ish grip on the boys very warm hand. Children were always so warm, Clarke loved that about them. So warm, so playful. She really couldn’t wait to be a mom. “Nice to meet you, Aiden.”
He starts talking again but Clarke’s attention is drawn to the conversation going on beside her between Lexa and the boys - Aiden’s - mother. “How are you? You’re looking good, Lexa.” The also blonde woman releases her from a hug and Clarke’s gut churns with jealousy.
“I’m doing well. Thanks, I’m not there yet but soon.” She flexes jokingly. “Can’t have Tuck thinking I’ve gotten soft.” The Woman just shakes her head and laughs at her husband’s best friend for years. It’s been too long. “How are you guys? How’s Tuck?”
“We’re good. Aiden misses him. You know how it goes.” Lexa returns a nod shifting her weight. “He was just asking about you, if I’d heard anything. He misses you out there. Last time you guys talked….”
“I know. I know.”
Clarke’s attention is pulled back to boy in front of her with his head cocked curiously to the side “Are you X-a’s special friend? You look at her like daddy looks at mommy.”
Lexa’s face turns bright red, eyelids pulling back as her eyes go wide. She glances back and forth between the two blondes in front of her, both smiling, one laughing. Clarke bends over and whispers something in the child’s ear that earns a nod and a big smile.
Carol, the wife, is laughing too at Lexa’s reaction. “Tuck would have a field day with this.”
“Better tell him then” Clarke stands from where she had bent down and shakes the woman’s hand. “I’m Clarke. It’s nice to meet you.” Lexa replaces Clarke down talking with Aiden.
“Carol. You as well.” She glances to the woman talking with her son about god only knows and turns her attention back to Clarke. Carol just hopes it isn’t some trick her and Anya used to pull when they were kids. She had heard enough of those stories, Tucks weren’t any better. “How long have you two been seeing each other?”
“A couple of months now. She’s amazing.”
“How’s she really doing?"
“It’s hard for her but she’s trying. Some days are better then others. She misses it.”
“They always do.” She nods with a little sadness setting into her shoulders. “Tuck drives himself crazy. The hyper vigilance. The guilt. It can be tough.” She crosses her arms as they turn to see the two talking in a seemingly very serious conversation. Lexa talking just as much as Aiden who's hands are waiving all over as he tries to make a point. Something twinges deep in Clarke and she’s great with kids. “How are you doing? It can be a lot.”
“Oh, I’m ok. She’s worth it. We haven’t talked much about it. She puts on this brave face.”
“No surprise there. Well if you ever need to talk, or advice, just let me know.” She puts her number into Clarke’s phone. “Not that you can’t handle it, but its just hard sometimes. People love someone in uniform until they come home and can’t quite take it off.”
“I’m not going anywhere.”
“I hope not. She looks happy.” There is a little munchkin pulling at Carol’s pant leg as Clarke notices Lexa stand from where he left her. Clarke almost rushes over to help but she didn’t know how well that would go over. She stands slow, her back pulling and her knee and hip nearly locking up from where she was knelt. Carol bends down to lend Aiden a ear and nods to the little boy.
Lexa just joins them as the secret conversation between mother and son finishes up, Lexa wrapping her arm around Clarke’s shoulders. The warmth of her body against Clarke is very welcomed. “X-a”
“What’s up little man?”
“Would you and Ms. Clarke like to come to my birthday party?”
“Are you kidding?! I’d love too!” She’s beaming at the little bundle of energy. “I can’t be missing my favorite God son’s 8th birthday now can I?” Carol mouths that she will text her later with the details to which Lexa only nods slightly.
“What about Ms. Clarke?” He meets her blue eyes with his spread so wide in hopeful anticipation. How could Carol ever say no to those cute little cheeks.
“You bet. As long as I don’t have anything at the hospital, I’ll be there.”
The little boy turns back to his mother as they walk back in to where the lady was holding the bear Clarke notices is dressed in camo at the counter. “Don’t be such a stranger Lexa. I’ll talk to you soon.” Lexa nods as they head back toward the rest of the mall to find something for the “sister” Clarke is dying to meet.