Coffee Take 1
Getting into her car Lexa pulls her phone from where it was tucked in the waistband of her pants and flips it around in her hand. She takes a moment as she smiles at the text Clarke sent to herself. Text me later. Don’t be an idiot.COFFEEEEE. This girl seems awesome, she has a great sense of humor, at least she seems to and her sarcasm rivals Lexa’s own. Her smile is perfect. Her eyes look like the sky and the ocean all wrapped into one in every cliche metaphor you could ever imagine. AND SHE HAS A DATE WITH HER. SHE HAS A DATE! One she actually wants to go on. It’s been so long…
She should really go talk to Anya. She’s going to be pissed if she doesn’t hear the news about her clearance in person. Pissed Anya is no fun. Sometimes normal Anya is no fun.
Little Lex
You still on the base?
Sis
Yeah, about to finish up.
Why, what’s up?
How you feelin?
What happened?
What did the Nyko say?
You ok?
Little Lex
Chill. Ayn.
Can I stop by? Grab lunch
before I have to drive to practice.
Sis
I invented chill
Meet you at the food court ?
Little Lex
Deal
And don’t quote Santa
Clause. It’s February and
the third one was terrible.
Sis
It was Jack Frost and
it’s relevant. Drive safe
Lexa drops her phone on the crotch of her sweats as she shifts her car in to drive and pulls out of the hospital parking lot. Thick drops of water fall on her windshield and she slaps on her wipers. It’s raining again - typical. The drive to the food court is short and Lexa’s mind is wandering the whole time back to the blonde who is meant to text her.
She’s so different. She’s bright and strong, Lexa can tell that much, but she’s so gentle and caring. There’s a lot to this girl and Lexa only hopes coffee happens tomorrow. Before she knows it she is pulling into the parking lot for the food court. Anya better be here soon Lexa’s starving.
Sis
Getting Charley’s
The usual?
Little Lex
Just parked but yes.
Sis
Ultimate club w/ extra lettuce
and tomato, mustard,
pickles, and peppers?
Lexa walks up Anya as she waits in line, spotting her slicked back brown hair in a perfect bun and the flight suit a mile away. Hands in her pockets she nudges the older girl in the side who’s gazing up at the menu though she already knows what she wants. Anya falls slightly off balance but shoves a hip lightly into Lexa’s own in retaliation. Before her ‘adventures’ Anya would have had no problem putting her ass on the ground. “Ha. Ha. Very funny.”
“I thought so.” She smiles at Lexa only like a quarter inch taller but tilting her head to look slightly down at her in mock intimidation. She slaps her cover against her hand before tucking it into calf pocket of her uniform. “Go grab us a table. I’ve got the food.”
“No veggies Ayn. Just mayo and olives.” She warns as she shrugs out of her still dripping windbreaker. “Oh and an ice tea too please.”
She waves at Lexa with the back of her hand “Yeah, yeah. Go sit.” She wanders over to an empty table in the corner facing the exit. Lexa slides into the booth seat so she can see most of the food court. Something about having her back exposed makes her uneasy. Anya doesn’t mind so much.
As always there’s a lot of military guys eating. Some recognize her by the little nods they give but no one really says anything. They got that out of there systems a few months ago. There’s always one girl though that says hi Octavia She’s a boot of a 2nd LT for sure but Lexa doesn’t mind her so much. She’s eager and she likes that about the girl and she’s pretty sure she is dating Lincoln - one of her best friends from West Point.
There’s a blonde sitting in the corner and Lexa’s mind dashes to the blonde who just asked her to coffee. Her heart had fluttered in her chest and her stomach twisted in all kinds of knots when she was around Clarke. It was nice to be pursued a little bit. The girl has such kind eyes, such gentle hands, but she’s not soft either. She’s strong, really strong - it basically flows from her pores. That much Lexa can tell. She wonders what kind of life the girl has lead. Did she play sports? Was she military? She had that air about her, at the very least an understanding. A lot of people don’t get it. How old was she? Did she have a family? What’s her favorite color? Favorite food? Music? Does she like to dance? What does she do for fun? Does she even have time for fun?
“For someone who is sizing up a room you sure aren’t paying much attention.” Anya is sitting in front of her now and reaching for the food on a trey in the middle of the table. “What’cha thinking abut kid?”
“Anya.” I’m not a kid anymore. “We’ve been over this.” Just about every time I see you. Which is almost every damn day.
Her shoulders bounce up slightly to dismiss the now 27 year old. “I’ve known you since you were six.” She unwraps the paper around her sandwich and takes hold of it pointing it at Lexa a moment before taking a bite. Her eyebrow juts over her eye as she reads the brunette, she knows something is up. “Spill.”
“Don’t you want to hear how the appointment went?” Lexa turns the corners of her mouth up in her not-quite-almost smile attempting to change the subject.
The older girl turns her head slightly to the side as if contemplating her options. She’s not. She never is. Lex really doesn’t even know why she tries anymore - maybe to see if Anya would let it slide just for once. “Nope. Spill.”
“You sure? Nyko wanted me to tell you something too.” Lexa dangles the distraction low hoping she’ll bite.
“Lexa..” No such luck.
“Fine. I’m getting coffee with someone tomorrow, hopefully. It’s not a big deal.” Lexa shrugs and soon after feels her hand at the back of her neck rubbing slowly across it. It’s a habit. Once she realizes she’s doing it she replaces her hand on her sandwich.
Anya takes a rather large chunk of bread into her mouth. She always eats like she hasn’t in days, even when she was a kid. Except when manners were mandatory. “I know ‘er?”
“No, don’t think so.”
“She cute?”
“Yeah.”
“That’s it? That’s all you’re gonna say? Com’on Lex. Give me something here. This is big.” She rips off a bit of her sandwich between her teeth and reaches across the table to take a long drink of Lexa’s ice tea. Anya is smiling at her in her amused begging, she always did love to tease Lexa about this stuff. Relentlessly.
“It’s not.” She’s gone on dates, usually ones set up by Anya. It’s not like she is a total loaner. Not that there is anything wrong with that though. She’s been like that pretty much her whole life. She never much saw the point to dating or ‘talking’. In fact the tradition her parents generation passed down was probably the dumbest thing she’s ever heard of, so many people get hurt. Lexa was always too busy for that anyway, if it wasn’t school it was basketball, or the military, or something. She didn’t mind it though, she’s just better on her own. Lexa shrugs more at the thought then to play it off to Anya.
“It is. You were smiling when you were thinking. I don’t see that much anymore.” Really? You want to bring that up now? When was I ever smiley? But she was. She knew she was. She was as happy go lucky of a kid as any, more then most even. She had a lot of responsibilities and pressure, and had dealt with a lot more then most, sure, but no one would’ve ever known, not that they would now but it was different. She remembers when Anya had asked her how she could be the most serious and intense person she knew but be the most relaxed and goofy at the same time. “You, Lexa… You’re a puzzle.” She had said. That was years ago now, she had been in what? Her sophomore year of high school?
“I smile.” Lexa finds herself protesting between bites of her ever so tasty sandwich. Yeah… you really don’t. Anya chuckles at the indignant protest from her little ‘sister’ who is almost in a pout. She’s been showing more emotion the last couple weeks and Anya can’t figure out if its because she just can’t hide behind the mask anymore or whats going on. “She works at the hospital. She’s really nice. She’s got this wavy blonde hair with these big blue eyes and the most gentle smile.” Lexa shrugs like she didn’t just talk about Clarke like that, it was a little more then she had intended- she had meant to say ‘She’s blonde with blue eyes.’ and leave it at that. Shit.
“Ok there, Aladdin. But, nice what? Rack?” She pretends to contemplate for a fast second before correcting herself “Na, you’ve always been an ass kind of girl.” Lexa nearly spits out the mouthful of tea at Anya’s audacity. Why this catches her off guard she’s not really sure. She knew it was coming at some point. Instead Lexa swallows as she wads up the wrapper from her sandwich and tosses it at Anya’s face as she leans forward on her elbows. It bounces off the older girls forehead, she didn’t even attempt to dodge it. Anya’s laughing now, pretty hard too, at the girl across the table from her turning a deep shade of red. Lexa was always pretty (extremely) vanilla (so vanilla in fact that she didn’t know what that meant the first time she was teased about it) - still is - and it is Anya’s self proclaimed life mission to make her uncomfortable.
“Anya! Oh my god. I hate you. Seriously.” The tips of her ears and cheeks burn with embarrassment. As she swallows another sip of tea trying to calm the flush from her face. Her eyes rapidly scanning the people around her to make sure no one heard before she locks her glare on the light brown of Anya’s irises. “This is exactly why I didn’t want to tell you. You’re insufferable.”
“Relax will you.” She picks the paper wad from the table in font of her and tosses it back at Lexa who snatches it easily from the air before it connects with her own forehead.
“I’ve gotta go to practice.” Lexa gets up to leave incredibly flustered and frustrated with her older sister. She never understood the way people talked about things like that.
“Ok. Ok. I’m sorry. Tell me how the appointment went.” Lexa remains standing still a little done with her mentor starring up at her from the table. “Sit down, Lex. I’m done. I’m sorry.”
“I’ve got bad news…” Lexa turns her head down and away from Anya as she sits. Revenge will be sweet.
“OH, Lexa. I’m so sor…”
“That I’m going to start kicking your ass again.” She looks back across the table beaming from ear to ear. Anya’s mouth had hung open for a moment before her own expression reflected Lexa’s. “Nyko cleared me to start training. He’ll check me again in a month.”
Before Lexa can even process what is happening she’s lifted up out of her chair and into Anya’s long ass arms for a tight hug, no longer being carful of her year old injuries and that makes the hole deep in Lexa’s chest feel a little smaller. They don’t hug often, neither of them are super fond of it really, but Lexa lets out a chuckle into the top of Anya’s shoulder and hugs her back.
“I have a chance, Ayn. Nyko said I have a chance.” She rests her head on that same shoulder, the woman's collarbone digs into her forehead a bit but Lexa doesn’t really care at this point. As Anya hugs her some of the pain of the last year fades away. “I’m back.” Lexa whispers into the back of the starched collar as she allows the relief to really wash over her.
The older girl only leans her back from the hug “You never went anywhere.” The tight arms wrap her in again. Anya takes a moment to hold Lexa close before letting them take their seats back at the table. It’s a little bit of a lie, she knows it in her heart, but it never had anything to do with the injuries like the younger girl had thought or tried to blame. Lexa never came back from the desert. Not her Little Lex. She knew some of her never would but now that her body was on its way back, she couldn’t help but hope that maybe the rest of her would finally follow.
“Nyko want’s to celebrate tonight. You in? It’s been awhile.”
“Of course.”
“I miss it. A lot.”
“Lex, you could have asked, anytime.” - I’d have dropped anything. Anya’s wanted nothing but to hang out for a very long time. Try and get part of her little sister back. The older girl’s voice softens as she takes in Lexa’s words. She had missed it too but it seemed like pulling teeth most times to try and get the three of them together like it used to be. Lexa always was making excuses and eventually Anya just let it be.
“I know. It’s just..”
“Just what?” Lexa doesn’t care to finish what she had almost started rambling. Today was happy, it was good. She didn’t understand why these old feelings were returning or why she was suddenly thinking and saying them. “Out with it, you.”
“It was different. I’m different. You guys were worried about me and Gus isn’t here anymore..” because of me “and I just… it was hard.”
“Aw, Lex…” The older brunette reaches across the table to squeeze the younger girl’s hand briefly as her other thumb busies itself habitually with the skin at base of where her fourth finger meets her hand and lets out the smallest sigh. “Gus..” Her back stiffens at the realization of her habit and he thumb stops it’s motions across her skin. “He would be so proud of you. I’m so, so, proud of you.”
“Ayn… lets not do this. Not here. Ok?” She sighs. This place is far to public for the emotions this discussion will hold. Any place felt like not the right place for it though. It wasn’t exactly a chat Lexa was looking forward too. “I’m ready, to have this conversation, but not here. I really do have to go to practice.”
Anya only turns her lips in a soft understanding smile to reassure her - It’s ok Sis. - It’s not, Anya. “Ok. Soon, though.”
“Soon.” Lexa nods as she pushes her chair out from under her with the backs of her knees as she stands only putting some of her weight on her hands placed firmly at the edge of the table. She really is ready, at least as ready as she could be. It was so long over due. So were a lot of things though. “So see you tonight?”
“Yeah. I’ll text Nyko, lets do dinner at my house. I’ll cook, we can have a couple beers and watch the game, which game I’m not sure though. I think your Wild” she sneers as if the team name left a bad taste in her mouth “are in Chi-Town, that might get ugly though so we can watch the ManU game if you want.” She smirks across the table as Lexa steps from between it and the chair laughing and shaking her head.
The two have been at it about the hockey teams since Anya started to get into the sport in high school when a guy she liked played. She was a sort of bandwagon Hawks fan and Lexa gave her more then enough flack for it. She always retorted though that at least her team won, she had Lexa there but one day the Wild would do it and oh that would be sweet. Lexa had loved the team ever since the mini-mites roller hockey league her dad had snuck her into when she was four. She still had his coaching shirt.
“Sounds like a plan, loser.” Lexa grabs her windbreaker off the back of her chair and slides it on as she walks from the table past people who no longer watch her every move in awe. Anya follows her to the trashcan with their stuff mumbling about how she always cleans up after her. Things are returning to normal. Tonight will be good. Hopefully.
Once they’re outside Lexa feels knuckles press into her shoulder in a light punch as the two part. Anya pulling her cover from her pocket, slapping it on her hand and placing it proudly on her head as Lexa pulls her keys from her pocket twirling them around her finger as she walks. “Have fun at practice.”
“See you later.”
The whole drive to practice Lexa can’t help but let her mind wander back to the blonde. She might text her after practice if she doesn’t hear anything back but she reminds herself that the girl is an intern and away from her phone most of the day. She slowly starts to think about how old the girl could be. What, graduate high school at 18, that puts her graduating college at about 22, then Med school at 25-26? She is only about a year younger then probably. Cool.
She parks the car and makes her way to the gym passing a few of the players who offer “Hey coach” She smiles at them and returns the greeting reminding them to get their asses in the gym in 5 minutes.
“Sup Woody.” Tris, a younger player, taps her shoulder opposite of where she stands next to Lexa who is was taking in a deep breath at the sight of the empty gym. She always did. The way the polished wood shined under the lights. The quiet before the pounding of balls on the hard wood filled the room. It was her second home, next to the hospital and she loved when she had a gym to herself.
“How many times do I have to tell you not to call me that.” She looks down at the shorter kid fighting a smile. There was something about her that hit a soft spot in Lexa. Maybe it was because the brunette reminded her a lot of herself. And she was that, in every sense of the word, a kid. “You ready for this weekend? Your first conference tournament.” If she knew her, which she did, Tris was slightly freaking out on the inside with all the pressure of the team and even more from the pressure she would put on herself.
“Yeah. Fuckn’ pumped.” Lexa turns her head to look down at the odd green-blue-brown eyes that are always so wide. With a simple turn of her head she begs to differ. “Ok yeah I’m a little nervous but nerves are good right? Mean I’m ready. I gotta be. The team is counting on me. We have to win to make it to march.”
“Don’t put so much pressure on yourself, kid. Enjoy it.” Lexa puts her hand onto of the girls shoulder and gives it a squeeze. “How’s the ankle feeling?”
“Good as new.”
“Don’t lie.”
“Fine, hurts, but I taped it. Took like 5 Advil. It’ll be fine. Don’t worry so much, Woody.” The girl shrugs with a pat on Lexa’s shoulder and takes off at a light jog to the other end of the gym where her teammates are gathering as Lexa shakes her head. Just go to the damned trainer. The girl is most definitely who she would have been if she hadn’t been bread for the military.
They get practice going and are well into the scrimmage Lexa and the other coaches are watching closely for any little tweaks they want to make. There aren’t many the team is looking good, tomorrow will be their day off they will do a shoot around the day after before traveling to California for the conference tournament.
She see’s it happening before anyone else. A rebound runs long and is headed for the sideline Tris tracks it down and gets her hand behind it to save it but she plants her foot too firmly as she twists and flings the ball back inbounds. It isn’t but a half a second before she is on the ground. Her knee just crumpled and Lexa knew immediately, she’d seen her fair share of ACL tears over the years.
Her stomach dropped to the floor and all the air was stolen from her lungs as she saw the slight bend of the girls knee to the side then it waiver back to the other side before it crumpled - there is really no other way to describe it. The knee just crumpled right from under her.
Everything in the gym just freezes and the only noise is the slight hum of the lights and the fading bounce of the ball that was failed to be retrieved as the rest of the team watched their star player go down. The air has been sucked from the rafters and the life right from the court. Lexa hadn’t even realized she’d moved but she is at her mini-me’s side in a second as the other coaches gather the rest of the team in a huddle. “Lay still, Tris. It’s going to be ok.”
Not much to her surprise the little one tries to get up “Na, Coach. I’m good” she’s falling back to the wood as he knee fails her. Lexa can only catch part of her partially from her own injury partially because she falls so awkwardly away. The girls hands ghost around her own knee wanting to hold it but not wanting to touch it at the same time as she strains her head into the semi-dusty floor. When she opens her eyes from where they had clenched tight at the pain she find’s Lexa’s and all thats in those big brown eyes usually so full of joy is panic. Pure panic. Because she knows her body and she knows what’s happened.
The ATC checks her knee bending it, tugging and pulling at the surely demolished joint. It doesn’t feel too good, Lexa remembers, but it’s not that painful and Tris is a tough kid. Lexa stays as a quiet comfort and helps carry/limp her to the training room sharing a knowing look with Auesten. She steps from the room and pages Nyko right away and not a second later her phone is ringing.
“What’s up kiddo? Just talked to Ayna.”
“One of my girls, Tris, just tore her ACL. Most defiantly tore it. Can you get her in for some scans so we can get on top of this thing?”
“Tris? The mini-me? Drive her over I’ll get her in. It’s pretty sl…”
“Don’t you dare say it’s slow. You’ll jinx it and you have to help me give Anya shit tonight about her damn hawks.”
“Page me when you get here. Drive safe.”
“Will do.”
Auesten steps out to talk to Lexa just as she gets off. She tells him she got her in and will take her and he just nods. “Sucks.” He shakes his sideways in a grimace. “Hate it.”
Lexa mutters her agreence as he heads back to practice and she walks back into the training room. Tris is chilling with her back against the wall already wrapped in some ice her practice jersey thrown across the room in frustration she sits in her sports bra. Her chest is heaving from her outburst in private but now she wears a smile, weak and small, but still there. Lexa hands her a pair of crutches and the girl swings off the table. “Go grab a pair of sweats and get some dry clothes on. I’ll take you to the hospital.”
“Oh come on, Woody. It’s not that bad. I can wait till after conference. Just slap a brace on it. It’ll be fine. I can go.” She says as she tests out the crutches, which Lexa immediately adjusts to fit right.
“I got you in with my brother. Tris..” Lexa warns handing back her second crutch but the look in the girls eyes tells her she gets it. “Just go get changed.”
She slides into the car Lexa had waiting a little awkwardly. “Thanks, Coach.” She leans back into the chair. The car ride is pretty much silent as the girl sits next to her with her eyes closed trying to fight the fear gripping tight at her chest and the throbbing in her leg. She jokes some with Lexa as they ride asking a million questions talking only a million miles an hour as per usual but it all stops when they pull into the parking garage.
She goes silent and her face turns pale as they step into the hospital and Lexa pages Nyko who has her get Tris set up in the room she was in earlier. The girl sits on the edge of the exam table leaning against the wall again arms crossed over her chest trying to hide the nervous tick of her hands. “You played with a torn ACL didn’t you? So it’s not impossible.”
“It was a partial tear and I was a junior in high school. I ended up tearing it the rest of the way and rupturing something else too. It’s not worth it. You still have three more years to play and the rest of your life to walk and be active. You might have a chance to make it pro too kid so don’t push this. Besides we don’t know if it’s torn.” Lexa didn’t want to lie to the girl but there was a small chance it wasn’t no matter how small it was.
“We know.” She looks at her knee still wrapped in ice. They sit in silence for a minute as the girl mutters how much she hates hospitals.
“Don’t you want to be a surgeon?”
“Yeah. A pre-med student who hates hospitals and is terrified of the doctor. Ironic isn’t it?”
Lexa had no idea about the girl’s phobia but now it is clear in the younger girls usual steady hands trembling as she wipes them on her shorts. She starts to question and comfort Tris but the conversation is shut off by a light tap on the door as Nyko and Clarke enter. Clarke’s surprised to see the other girl so soon but can’t really hide her smile.
“You’re Woody’s brother? Don’t look much alike, yeah?” She blurts out as he rolls the chair up to her. He runs a hand over his beard and moves to check her knee, Lexa just barely notices the flinch away from the touch she now knows isn’t from fear of pain as the younger girl takes a deep breath and tries to relax without much success.
“Woody huh?” He flashes a smirk to Lexa who glares at him. Not a word, Nyko. Not a damn word. “Yeah, something like that.” Clarke nearly snorts at the nickname and the brunette’s reaction. She was slightly curious about the reference to Dr. Washington as her brother though.
Nyko’s good with her. He always was with kids. She relaxes and Lexa’s grateful as they step out of the room so she can put on the gown for imaging. He walks Tris down as Lexa goes to take care of the check in and paper work not noticing she’s been followed buy a very cute blonde doctor. “Want to get that coffee now? She’ll be in the MRI for about 40 minutes.”
Lexa spins from where she was working on a clipboard to find bright blue eyes and a blinding white smile. “I’d love too.” Way to be cool, Lex. “Thought you were going to be an idiot and not text me.”
“Yeah, you’re “brother” has had me running around like crazy today but I have a bit while he takes care of your player, what’s her name? Though I’m a little surprised he’s not having me do it.”
“Tris. He’s basically my brother. Long story. I’m glad he’s not having you do it though.” Lexa walks over to the doctors lounge and holds the door open for Clarke after pressing in the code. “How do you take your coffee?”
“Blacker the better. You have the code?”
“Nyko.” She shrugs as she watches the blonde fall back into the couch with a sigh. She must have been going since Lexa left. The way her stiff frame relaxes and a weight seems to be removed from her shoulders warms Lexa’s heart. The blonde runs her hands over her head smoothing her wavy bangs back out of her face before she takes the coffee.
“Thanks.” Lexa sits next to her on the couch but not close enough to be touching really. “Next time it’s my treat, for good coffee, not this shit.”
“Any coffee is good coffee.” She adds as she takes a sip of her own, already perfectly mixed on it’s own. Her dad always put in the creamer and stuff in before he added the coffee. Trick number one he had said. He never gave her number two though. Maybe he didn’t have one.
“Oh, you’re one of those..” Clarke smiles as she hides her face behind her coffee cup taking a small sip. Lexa can’t help but think how adorable her smile is as she teases her. Her nose is slightly crinkled in the middle and her eyes slightly squinted, the hints of dimples in her cheeks.
“Which makes you a coffee snob?” She jeers back as she relaxes back into the couch a little more. Looking into those precious blue eyes over her shoulder to where Clarke has all but collapsed into the couch.
The blonde lets out a long yawn before retorting with another slightly more tired smile. “Not a snob. I just appreciate a fine brew.”
“Sure, keep telling yourself that.. Coffee Snob.”
“Shut up.” She lets out a light laugh followed by another small yawn. The visible tiredness the blonde can’t help but showing pulls at Lexa’s heart. She wold be ok with letting the girl lean up against her and taking a nap, or just letting her sleep while she sits and waits but before she can offer Clarke breaks the moments silence. “So, Lexa. Dogs or Cats?”
Lexa smiles as she thinks about the dog she had growing up. Roxi, a golden doodle who never lost her puppy fur and loved to cuddle. “Dogs for sure, and big dogs. Get a small dog you..”
“Might as well get a cat.” They finish together Clarke not missing a beat. They find themselves chuckling softly with pink cheeks as Lexa looks back over her shoulder to see the blue eyes watching her and Clarke’s ears turning slightly red. It’s been a long time since Lexa’s done that with anyone and she could get used to this.
“Ok. On to the deep stuff. What kind of ice cream?”
“I’m going to go ahead and guess coffee for you?” Clarke nods with a smile as she sips at her cup. “Mine’s cake batter but I like coffee when that’s not available.”
“Solid choice. Favorite drink?”
“Adult or Kid?”
“I was thinking adult but why not both.” Clarke smiles with a laugh at Lexa’s innocence. Most would just assume adult as well. The brunette takes in the sound of Clarke’s happiness - god if it’s not the most beautiful laugh Lexa’s ever heard.
“Rum and Sprite or a Corona. I like Tequila too but mostly Rum and Sprite or a light beer. And I am a sucker for some good chocolate milk.”
“I’m more of a Whisky kind of girl myself or a good Budweiser. And Sunny D is where it’s at.”
“My dad loved bourbon. Crown and Coke was his favorite. Waste of good Crown though.” She tilts her head at the memory and her uncle Bob making fun of him for it.
Clarke points at her with the mostly empty coffee cup “I think I would have liked your dad,” she tosses the remaining coffee back and down her throat in a smooth motion. “What happened if you don’t mind me asking?” Lexa doesn’t respond right away just bends over resting her elbows at her knees and stairs into her half finished coffee. “It’s just that you speak about him in past tense, I assumed… I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have.”
Knocking back the rest of her own coffee Lexa kicks her feet up on the table and leans back. “No. No it’s ok. He.. he was killed in action. He was a field surgeon, they figured out if a surgeon is on the front lines the guys have a much better chance of making it. Dad volunteered. He was taking care of one of his guys when a sniper got him. I was a senior in high school.”
She was proud of her dad. He was a real hero. Not like her. But it still stung that he was gone. He never got to see her get accepted into West Point and Annapolis, she had gotten the phone call the day after. She had even started to call his satellite phone, forgotten about the visit to the house one of the Marines had paid her the day before in her excitement. Dad, Dad I got in! Got caught in her throat when she realized she couldn’t actually tell him. And the tears of shock and joy and quickly turned into sobs of grief as a shaky hand pressed to her mouth after dropping the phone to the floor. He never got to tease her about the Army Navy rivalry, call her a grunt, tell her how she couldn’t be Army Intelligence because there was no such thing, see her become a Green Beret and tell her the Seals were better. Lots of things. He never got to do lots of things. Fuck the desert. Fuck those bastards. Who shoots a medic?
“He must have meant a lot to you, I’m sorry. I lost my dad too.” The blonde whispers leaning back into the couch from where she had leaded forward to put her empty cup down, her arm just brushing Lexa’s side. She doesn’t offer anymore information so Lexa lets it ride. Putting a hand on the girls leg she gives it a squeeze. I’m sorry too, Clarke. “What about your mom?”
“She died when I was little.” She was a hero too. A real one, like my dad. “Chopper accident - went out on a support mission in a sand storm… It was just me and Dad for pretty much as long as I can remember. You?” Fuck the desert.
“It’s um.. It’s complicated.” Her mouth turns down in a frown. A fist haphazardly lifts to her face as she rubs her tired eyes blinking past the utter exhaustion Lexa can see settling over the girls body “I’m sorry, It’s jus-”
Lexa replaces her hand on Clarke’s knee cutting her off. “It’s ok. You don’t have to apologize or explain.” I understand. There’s stuff I don’t talk about too. Clarke offers another small smile as another yawn works its way past her lungs. “Do you want to take a short nap? You should have a little less then 20 minutes. I wouldn’t mind.”
“I’d hate to ruin my chances for another coffee.” Her hand touches Lexa’s for a brief second before pulling away, realizing what she did. Lexa was ok with it though but doesn’t press it again.
“Thought this coffee was shitty?” She chides at the blonde.
“Oh it is. The company pretty much takes care of it though.” She smiles with a blush at Lexa who goes wide eyed for a second before smiling back, softer then her smirk just seconds before.
“You won’t be ruining your chances. I’m still expecting a text. I still have tomorrow off.” She smiles at the girl who seems to be retreating at her admission of attraction.
“Yeah?” She straitens her back and gains some confidence, not that she was ever lacking it tough.
“Yeah. So sleep Clarke.” Lexa loves the feel of the blonde’s name on her tongue, the way the K at the end clicks. She slides down to the end of the couch as Clarke props her legs up and Lexa places them in her lap. “You need it.”
The blonde’s eyes are already shut as she mutters a thank you. Lexa leans back into the couch and swings her own legs up onto the table again and closes her eyes with her hands resting folded on the girls shins.
The two jump awake at the sound of the door opening. Lexa checks her watch they each got about a 20 minute nap and she for one feels a million times better. Clarke looks re-energized as well. Though her hair has fallen a bit more out of her bun and frames her face softly. Lexa uses all her self-control to not reach out and tuck a piece behind her ear for her.
“Tris is done.” Nyko adds leaning on his hands over the back of the couch as Clarke stands up at near attention. “Lex you head in and wait with her while me and Dr. Griffen here go look at the scans.” He nods in the direction of the young doctor with a slightly threatening look that Lexa doesn’t catch.
Lexa can here the smirk in his voice as she stands slowly her back hurting from the position she was in and trying not to show it. “Thanks Nyko.” She nods in Clarke’s direction as she steps out the door and down the hall, knocking on the door to the room as she enters.
The younger girls cheeks are puffy and red as she wipes the back of her hand against them in attempt to hide. Lexa however catches the dark patch on the knuckles as they wipe across her face. She’s at the girls side in a moment taking her hand into hers, not even commenting on the fact that Tris is crying. Why would she? It’s ok to cry.
The knuckles are bruised and cut open just a little bit. “Tell me you didn’t punch a wall.” Lexa scolds but only partially. She gets it. She hits things when she’s upset too. Tris only shrugs as Lexa gets out a bandage out of the cabinet in the corner of the room and wraps her hand.
“This isn’t fair.” She mutters as Lexa places he hand back in her lap. “How could this happen? I’ve worked so hard and it’s all for nothing? I love basketball more then I love anything and this just happens? After everything I’ve been through to get here? The one thing I’ve always leaned on is gone? How could it do that to me? What the fuck am I supposed to do now? Doc said he’s pretty sure I blew it completely. This is bull shit. This wasn’t supposed to happen. Not to me.” The girl is practically yelling now through tears and quivering breaths. “I finally made it and now this happens. Fuck what ever god is out there. This shit isn’t funny! How could you do this to me!?! Fuck you!”
“Stop it. Right now. You’re better then this.” The younger girl looks like she’s been slapped at Lexa’s firm tone. “Tris, you get to be upset. You’re allowed to be angry. But this? Feeling sorry for yourself? You’re better then that.” Lexa has to shake the feeling of deja’vu at this same conversation her and Anya had in a hospital room a lot like this one. Tris opens her mouth to retort but Lexa cuts her off. “No you’re going to listen for a second. This sucks. It does. And my heart is breaking for you, Tris, but this isn’t the end. Not even close. You have a decision to make. Are you going to fight and work you ass off in recovery and come back even better or are you going to let this define you? I’m going to be here every step of the way. You can be sad, heartbroken, angry - cry, yell, hit things - what ever you want but you don’t get to feel sorry for yourself.”
Tris looks wide eyed up at her mentor who just finished yelling at her and Lexa feels a little like she’s kicked a puppy. “Coach..” She starts to break again but this time Lexa pulls her into a hug and lets her shoulder catch the tears as she holds the nearly hyperventilating girl.
“Tris, you may love basketball but it’s never going to love you back. It can’t. And it’s probably going to break your heart again.” She runs her hands down the girls back as she stiffens. “But.. Accept that and love it anyway because it’s worth it. The fight to get back, is so worth it. It’s not going to be easy but nothing worth while ever is. You’re going to get through this kid. Ok?” She holds the girl for a moment, Anya’s scolded her and knocked the sense back into her enough to know it’s hard to hear as much as it’s needed and her older sister was always there to comfort her afterword just like she would be for Tris.
“Ok.” The girl leans back and sniffles into the back of her now bandaged hand. “Ok. I can do this.”
There’s a knock on the door as it cracks. “Lex.” Nyko invites her out in to the hall to talk.
Lexa squeezes the girl tight for a second before letting her lean back. “Damn right. I’ll be right back.” She pats the girls shoulder turning away. “Oh, and Tris, try not to break the wall with your hand.” She teases as she steps from the room and closes the door. “What’s the news, Nyko?”
“ACL, partial tear in her Medial Meniscus and LCL. I can get her in for surgery in a week. It’s going to be a long road but it could have been worse. Lets just hope there isn’t nerve damage to her foot. We won’t find out till after surgery but that is a risk with the LCL.”
“She’s going to ask if she can play this weekend.”
“No, There’s no way. It’ll be a stretch for her to walk. Her ankle is huge too and quite tender. I’m going to get images of that in our pre-surgical scans. She didn’t mention it but I noticed it when we were getting set up. Seriously Lexa it’s like I’m looking at you 8 years ago.”
Lexa lets out a long sigh and she notices Clarke step closer to her from behind as a silent comfort. Usually she hates anyone behind her but the blonde’s presence isn’t so alarming. “Sucks. Fucking sucks.”
“Yeah, really no other words for it.” Nyko sighs and pats her on the shoulder. “I’m sorry kiddo.” He puts his hand on the door handle and gives it a twist. “I’ll talk to her. Dr. Griffin, go get the paperwork.”
Lexa is left alone in the hall for a moment as the two doctors go their separate directions. She needs a second to herself before she can step back into the room and be there for Tris. Fucking sucks. Why couldn’t have this happened to her? If what ever god had to have something happen it should have been to her. Not this kid who finally had everything going for her.
She presses her forehead into the tile on the wall. God damn it. She can feel the tightness running across her chest, her sternum constricting her heart, anger churning in her gut. It’s familiar and heartbreaking and all she wants to do is hit something so she does.
Her knuckles meet the tile hard and a sharp pain shoots from her hand but she doesn’t shake it out. Just clenches her fist and replaces at her side. Still clenched she hits the wall again, the tile cracking and she feels the skin on her knuckles split. This isn’t fair. It shouldn’t have happened to Tris. She didn’t deserve this.
“Didn’t you just finish a lecture about not breaking walls with hands?” The blonde girl stands at a distance allowing Lexa her space. A smile playing at her lips but worry shimmering just beneath the smirk in her eyes. Slowly Lexa feels her hand unclench from the fist as the tightness around her chest loosens. “Among other things. She can’t feel sorry for herself, but you can’t feel sorry for her either, Lexa.”
“I don’t it just.. it just sucks. She deserves better. If I could do anything to take this away from her I’d do it in a heart beat.” I’d rather it be me. She taps the wall with her fist again before realizing what Clarke was implying. “How?”
“We heard the whole thing. The way Dr. Washington chuckled tells me you were on the receiving end of the lecture once or twice.”
“Yeah. Anya, my more or less older sister. Chewed my ass out more then a few times. I needed it though.”
“You have a lot of more or less siblings.” Clarke quips as she takes a step closer Lexa only shrugs and offers a smile. It’s complicated. She steps a toward her again and grabs Lexa’s wrist before she can retreat into the room. “Come on, let me make sure the only thing broken is the wall ya hypocrite.”
//
Clarke leads the protesting brunette back to an empty exam room and has her sit down as she takes a better look at the girls knuckles. The cut on the back is pretty deep from the cracked tile. Lexa smiles down at where she holds her hand gently. “You should see the other guy.”
“Looks like the other guy won.” She says with a laugh as she grabs a suture kit from the cabinet. For some reason if they make it past the coffee stage she sees this being a normal conversation. Lexa’s apologetic eyes are so big and so soft. The walls are down that have been up for god knows how long and Clakre knows she is special to get to see this. It’s been days, only hours really, they’ve ‘known’ each other but it feels right.
The girl flexes her hand and wiggles her fingers. “Na. Not broken just cut it.” She speaks as if she’s done it before and Clarke suspects she probably has and she’ll probably do it again.
“It’ll bruise but I think you’re right. Just try not to haul off and fight a building again for a while. Deal?” She looks up from where she wiped the hand clean into bright green eyes taking her every move in.
The smile is small and bashful but real this time as the girl answers. “I can’t make any promises, Clarke.” Clarke sets back to work and injects some local anesthetic into the girls hand and rubs it gently to try to get it working faster. “They tend to pick fights with me.”
“I’m sure they do Captain.” She makes the first stitch and the slightest twitch of the girls fingers hints that the anesthetic isn’t working fully. She stops taking the other girls hand in hers gently as she assesses the damage more. “Lexa, can you feel that?” She tilts her head up to find the forest shining at her.
“Only a little. It’s fine.” She shrugs like it is actually no big deal. Clarke remembers her chart she had read through that morning, the girl metabolizes anesthetic like it’s her job. She should have remembered.
“I’m sorry. I’ll give you some more. I forgot you take a larger dose.” Her hands are getting sweaty at the fact she caused the girl some more pain.
“Clarke, it’s ok. Truly. It’s not so bad, you can finish.” Clarke smiles at the small sigh the brunette lets out when she ups the dosage anyway and she can no longer feel her hand. The sutures are perfect too, shouldn’t scar at all but she sees one already there in almost the same place. This girl. God this girl is a piece of work. “Thank you.”
“No problem.” She finds herself holding the door open for the adorable brunette for the second time today. Noticing the limp in her gait is a little bigger her back a little stiffer then it was this morning. Maybe she wasn’t as healed up as they thought.
When they return to the room where the girls actual mini-me was being talked to but Nyko and Tris are already outside. “There you are Woody. You ready? I have an exam I’m supposed to take this afternoon unless you want to stay and flirt some more.” She nudges the older girl with her crutch. “Nice hand too. We match.” She raises her hand from the crutch wiggling her fingers to compare the bandage jobs. “Blondie did a better job then you.” Tris looks back over her shoulder and winks at Clarke who is now standing next to an amused Nyko.
“Yeah, I’m ready. Lets go you little shit. I’ll see you tonight, Nyko. Clarke.” Lexa nods in their direction before turning her attention to the girl on crutches. Clarke fights a laugh and the burning in her cheeks as Lexa nearly takes the girl by the back of the collar and drags her from the hospital. Flustered Lexa might be the most adorable thing she has ever seen. The way she is with the girl is so much like an older sibling, almost the way Bellamy is with Octavia, she can’t help but let a laugh escape her lips as the two walk away.
“Griffin. My office. Now.” She finds herself being pushed into Dr. Washington’s office much in the same way Tris was being pushed from the hospital with one of his big hands at the back of her neck.
Wasting almost no time at all he hands her a picture frame off the desk that contains two photos as he sits in his desk and motions for her to take a seat. Shit. She’s in trouble. It’s Lexa, she looks so much younger here but in uniform still. An older woman’s arm is around her neck and she is pressing knuckles into a bent over Lexa’s hair that’s tied up in a tight bun that matches the older woman’s identically. The two are smiling so widely in the moment. Dr. Washington stands next to a man who looks almost exactly like him they just watch the two, standing close like the photo they were supposed to take was interrupted. The photo had caught all four of them mid-laugh.
“Sir?” Lexa looks like a little sibling with three proud older siblings but there is no family resemblance in anyone except for the two men who must be identical twins. The men are in their Army dress blues, the woman in green and khaki of the Marine Corps, Lexa is in a grey jacket with lots of buttons and medals, huge rank patches on her arms, a white strap across the front, and a red sash around her waste. A white cap has been placed on her head where the women’s hand had been. The other three have on their covers as well now. Dr. Washington’s look alike has a green beret with a red patch. Their arms are around each other and they are all smiling. “Why are you showing me this?”
“Lexa means the world to me.” Don’t screw this up. “She has been through a lot. And if you hurt her, so help me…”
“Sir we.. it was just coffee.”
“It’s more. She hasn’t smiled like that in a long time. Tell her about this and I’ll put you on scut for a month. Now get out.” He takes the photo back placing it carefully back on his desk. “And go home. You look like you’re half dead for Christ’s sake.”
By the time Clarke is home she is already half asleep, she can’t help but think about the brunette who is no longer a mystery and how nice it was to fall asleep with her on the couch. Maybe someday it could be more then that.
Clarke Griffin
This is me. Not being an idiot.
Coffee tomorrow?
Lexa Woods
Hospital coffee or
“real” coffee?
Clarke Griffin
Real coffee. I know a good place
not too far form the hospital, The
Bean
Lexa Woods
I know the place. Home
of all coffee snobs.
Clarke Griffin
Coffee snob capitol
of the world, actually
Lexa Woods
Admittance is the first step
to recovery. I’m so proud.
Clarke Griffin
Shut up.
Is 9 ok?
Lexa Woods
Sounds perfect. I’ll
see you tomorrow.
She falls asleep to her mind racing to possibilities and memories of the girls tired smile. Shit Griffin. You’ve got it bad.