Dying
Chapter 4: Dying
Arthur sat heavily on the ground, feeling weak in the knees. The Knights, Leon, Elyan, Lancelot, Percival and Gwaine gingerly sat on the ground next to him.
But whatever they have been about to say next was lost on Merlin, as he used the support of the tree to help himself up. He quietly ushered the children back on to the horse and fled the scene, under the cover of the concealment glamour he had cast.
With another half day's walk along the Northern Border, they arrived at a small village that seemed to Merlin to be full of merchants and farmers. The walk had been long, but they passed the time by the children learning about Merlin's history (amended of course to omit his maleness) and with Merlin learning their names. He concluded that their parents must have been part of some strange pact to give their children such peculiar names. Helga seemed to be the only one to escape unscathed. Salazar proudly explained to him that his name meant 'Sacred hall'. Godric meant 'power of god' and Rowena meant 'fair, light skinned'.
Merlin supposed that they had hit the mark there. Rowena was indeed fair. Helga timidly offered that her name meant 'blessed', and offered shyly, that for the first time, she might think that it was true. It made Merlin feel slightly ashamed that he had really only brought them along on a whim and he had no real plan for them, or himself really. As they neared the town, Merlin got a good look at it. Its streets bustled in activity with women rushing past them carrying steaming trays of food that the children watched go by longingly.
"Right then. Off you get. This is as good a place as any to replenish ourselves." Merlin hoisted each child off of the horse one by one. They stretched their legs, groaning from the strain.
"Mistress Elladora. Can we get something to eat?" Salazar gave Merlin the most baleful eyes and he realized that the children had probably not eaten anything of substance since their Auntie had died.
Stupid. Should have asked about that first. Merlin winced at his own ignorance. Children were always hungry, he knew that from experience growing up in Ealdor. He grabbed the horse by the reins and urged the children forward.
"Of course. Run along ahead, all of you choose something you like and we'll go from there okay?" Merlin watched in amusement as their eyes lit up like fireworks and they rushed, calling excitedly to each other. He palmed his money pouch, that held the money he'd amassed over the years, working for Arthur. His pay had gone up considerably since Arthur had been crowned King. It meant that he was able to save money for himself despite sending the majority back to Ealdor for his mother. At least for the moment, he could afford to comfortably buy the children something to eat. He would worry about making a livelihood later, when they found a place to stay.
"Mistress Elladora! Mistress Elladora!" Godric bounded up to Merlin, grabbing at his cloak and tugging excitedly. Merlin smiled despite of himself.
"Yes Godric, what's got you so worked up?"
"They're selling meat patties! Can we have some? Please?"
"Very well then. Patties it is. Let's see if we can't get something to drink as well."
They spent the next hour, munching on the food that Merlin bought and perusing the stalls for trinkets. Merlin bought Helga and Rowena a pair of hair clips, in the likeness of a flower and bird respectively. For the boys, Merlin bought twin lapel brooches. He gave Salazar a green stone, inset in gray stone, and Godric a stone in the shade of blood, inlaid in the same slate gray backing.
He was beginning to realize that he was happy. It was something that caught him by surprise. Despite running into Arthur's group in the forest and learning what Merlin's revelation meant for the King, Merlin was finding exhilaration in this newfound ability to do whatever he pleased. He didn't have to constantly worry about stroking Arthur's ego to make sure he could rule the Kingdom, while constantly battling to knock him down a few pegs too, all in the hopes that he would retain some humility.
Merlin didn't assume of course, that this meant he could abandon his destiny. He knew had a job to do. But for once, he wanted to try to living a meaningful life for himself as well. Feel what it meant to live a life that was full of domesticity. The life that he and Freya had once joked of living.
The group meandered through the crowd, Merlin only paying half attention to the chattering of the children he was with. He answered with enthusiasm when posed a question but for the most part, he chose to listen to the children, learning to see the world through their innocent eyes. As they past an herb stall, Helga paused, her eyes roving over the selection. She tugged on Merlin's hand, who looked down to see what the hold up was.
"Helga? What is it?" She pointed to the herb on the farthest side, satchels of small green seeds.
"I've seen them before. Auntie used to give them to the Baker's wife all the time." Godric, Rowena and Salazar looked at it too and nodded.
"She's right, Auntie did." Merlin tried to remember Gaius's teachings, and rummaged through his memory to find the name of the herb.
"That's fennel. The baker's wife must have either had terrible breath or indigestion." They giggled, and Salazar made a face.
"It was her breath. It smelled like a pig's trough." Merlin whacked his head affectionately.
"Oi. We don't talk about elders that way."
"But she was a mean, horrible old troll!"
"Even if that's true, let other people do the name calling. That way, you're always right."Merlin winked at Salazar and saw the wheels turning in his head, realizing that this meant he could manipulate people to calling him bad words and then making them sorry for him.
"What's this one?" Rowena pointed to a spiky dark green plant. She reached out to touch it, but Merlin grabbed her hand before it could make contact.
"Careful Rowena, those are nettles. If you aren't cautious about handling them, you're going to be in an awful amount of pain. They itch worse than the devil, but if ground properly, they're very effective for people with green sickness and skin problems." Rowena snatched her hand back, staring suspiciously at the rest of the herbs on the table, as if unsure which ones meant her harm.
As Merlin explained the nature of the rest of the herbs, he heard the far end of the village burst into a flurry of panic. Then there was a shrill scream.
"Elsa!" A woman came tearing through the crowd carrying a young girl, Merlin estimated her to be around the age of 10, in her arms. She looked around wildly.
"Please! Is anyone here a physician! My daughter is ill!" Merlin looked around, and saw that no one raised their arms as the woman grew more distraught. He squared his shoulders, he had only trained as a physician for a while. Being Arthur's manservant meant that he hadn't had as much time around Gaius as he would have liked. Merlin marched forward, his cloak whirling in the wind around him.
"I am a physician. Let me see." The woman looked at Merlin with unguarded relief. She hurried forward and lay the child on the ground, her head in her lap. The four children followed Merlin, peering over her shoulders.
Merlin tilted her head up and listened for her breath, weak but steady. He probed her neck for her veins while talking to the mother.
"What happened?"
"I – I don't know. One moment she was chopping potatoes and the next she's on the ground." Merlin nodded without looking up. He noted the slight greenish pallor of her skin and lips. He pressed a thumb into the skin of the back of her hand. The skin went from light pink to white and when Merlin removed the pressure from his thumb, the skin stayed white, instead of returning to it's former color.
"Mhm, I thought so. Rowena." The young girl perked up behind Merlin, who fished through his pouch for a coin and handed it to her. "Go to the stall we were just at. Buy me some nettles. Godric, get me some water from the well we saw earlier. Helga go with Salazar and find me a mortar and pestle." The children ran off in different directions, returning in moments with the items. Merlin grabbed the nettles and quickly pounded them into a paste, adding water in increments. Once he had a good amount of the mix, in the consistency of chewing tobacco, he picked it up and pressed it into her mouth. Merlin made sure to press down hard so that some juice escaped the concoction and trickled down her throat.
Almost immediately, the color began to return back to her skin, and her breathing became steadier. Merlin leaned back and wiped his forehead.
"Is – is she better now?" Merlin nodded and found the satchel that Rowena had used to carry the nettles. He poured the rest of the mix into it and handed it to her. Girl's mother took the pouch carefully, looking at the contents curiously.
"She's fine. She's got green sickness. She probably always complains about being tired and she's always pale, right?" Another affirmation. Merlin internally hoped he was making the right diagnosis.
"Just keep giving her this same mix once every day and the problem should go away." Merlin dusted his knees off as he stood. Then turned around to find the whole village staring at him. He briefly wondered if he'd done something wrong before a short portly man made his way to the front of the crowd, and without any preamble, grabbed her hand, yanking her down slightly and shaking it vigorously.
"Well met my dear. Well met! My name is Crane. Thomas Crane, and this is Carhaix, our humble trading village. Here I am the village Elder. Please accept my deepest thanks for the help you have provided today."
Merlin bowed, somewhat perplexed at the formal welcome speech.
"The same to you, sir. I am Elladora and these are my," Merlin thought for a moment about what he would call his new travel companions. He made the connection in a split second. "children. My children, Godric, Rowena, Helga and Salazar." The villagers looked speculatively at Merlin and the children, suddenly muttering amongst themselves and Merlin realized that they were trying to suss out whether she was an unwed mother or something else entirely.
He sighed and said loudly.
"I am wife, and I suppose widow, to," He thought fast for a name and settled one. "William, of Ealdor. My husband died years ago in a bandit attack and I have been travelling since, offering my skills as a physician to make a living." He finished his introduction, hoping he had deflected any inquiries as to his character. He had seen what being an unwed woman with a child had done to his mother.'s life He was determined that these children who were bound to have hardships ahead of them, and he refused to have to deal with another issue as minor as this. Merlin kept his lies close to truth, easier to remember them Merlin figured.
The countenances of the villagers relaxed and the village Elder spoke again, this time rather slowly as if trying to find the best way to propose a proposition.
"Lady Elladora-"
"Mistress is fine. I do not hold any illusions to be greater than I am. I'm nothing more than a farmer's wife with some knowledge of the healing arts." The village elder laughed good naturedly at Merlin's humility.
"At that, young woman, is why our physicians are treated with the utmost respect here. For we have no other with that knowledge. And that is why I wonder if I may ask something of you, Mistress." Merlin nodded her acquiescence to hear him out. He gestured to the house behind him.
"Maybe we should talk in here." Merlin followed him into the thatched house and sat down on the proffered chair. The children made themselves comfortable on the other side of the house happily eating the food, venison and potatoes, that the Elder's wife gave them.
"You said you were travelling, offering your services as a physician to the masses to make a living did you not?"
"I did." Merlin hoped his blatant lying wouldn't be detected.
"Then I wish to offer you a contract for your services." Merlin raised an eyebrow at that.
"A contract?"
Crane corrected himself.
"Well not so much a contract as a suggestion. See, this is a busy trader town. On average we have a multitude of people travelling through our village from King Arthur's Kingdom to King Pellinor's. As a result. We end up with a rather high amount of people who come here ill, and who become ill from coming into contact with those who pass through." Merlin was beginning to understand the thread which this conversation was going to follow.
"I see."
"Some time ago, we had an elderly man who lived in a home about 10 minutes outside of the village. He was a practiced healer and most everyone from our village went to him for potions, tinctures and poultices. He was an old man however, and eventually, he succumbed to his old age. We found him dead some 6 months ago, and we've not had anyone with anywhere near the amount of experience or knowledge as he had."
Merlin assumed the home he was talking about was the one they had passed on the way into a town. Helga had pointed it out, saying it was so pretty, what with the foliage that overran the outside of it. From faraway, it almost looked like a small, oddly placed, hill.
"And you would ask me to take over his position?" Crane said nothing for a second and then reached out to clasp her hand.
"I know you have no reason to accept. But I sincerely feel, in my bones, that you came to us, today, for a reason. It cannot be a coincidence that the day you ride into town, Eliana falls ill, Eliana who only ever used to complain of tiredness." Merlin shifted uneasily. He didn't like the idea of fate fiddling with his life again. Not when he'd just become determined to escape it. Perhaps Crane could see the indecision on his face, because he put both hands up in a gesture of surrender.
"I do not expect you to answer me right away, stay here tonight and think it over. There are many benefits of staying in Carhaix. This a traders town as I've said before. The amount of wares you would be able to purchase would be immense and the business you would reap even more so. All I ask is you seriously consider it."
Merlin sighed and stood, holding his hand out to Crane to shake.
"I can't guarantee anything but I do promise to think over your offer sincerely. I cannot make the decision on my own." When she pointed to the children, Crane smiled understandingly.
"Well then, this is a guest house, as a thank you for Eliana you may stay here free of charge. I'll have my son Derek bring you some basic necessities." With that, Crane and his wife left. Merlin sank back on to the chair, exhausted. He'd never been good under pressure.
"Mistress Elladora?"
Merlin looked up across the room to find the children staring at him and was aware that he would have to be crazy to throw away this chance. Where else would someone offer him such a lucrative offer for work? He had 4 mouths, plus his own to feed, and he couldn't do it comfortably without a job of at least this caliber. Merlin got up and went to sit on the floor with all the children. He rubbed a hand affectionately through Godric's hair.
"I'm going to ask you guys a questions. I want an honest answer. Alright?"
They nodded solemnly.
"How would you feel about living here?" Merlin saw Rowena and Godric exchange a glance while Salazar's mouth just hung open in excitement.
"We would love it!" Rowena and Godric said, shuffling forward until they sat practically on his lap. Merlin actually guffawed at the enthusiastic answer.
"I guess that settles that then."
. . . . . . . .
The next morning, Merlin finalized the details of his agreement for staying with Crane and the rest of the village Elders. Over all, he was amused by the amount of excitement over his acceptance of the position. As he walked with the children back to gather the horse and their belongings, he wondered briefly what had happened to his life. 2 days ago, he had been a single man working as the manservant to the King. Now 2 days later, he stood on the northern border of Camelot, in the body of a woman that had declared herself a widow to a man that was her best friend and now mother to four small children.
I have absolutely lost my mind.
Shaking the thought away, Merlin followed the Elder's son to the home of the previous physician where they were to be staying. The elder's son, a man of at least 30 in Merlin's opinion, lead the way.
They had some difficulty opening the door but with a small amount of jostling by Derek it sprung wide open. Inside, it was a cluttered though large home. Larger than Merlin would have expected for a single man.
"Well, here it is. Old man Grindle's house. He was always was an odd one." Merlin set his bag and fod down on the table and turned to face Derek.
"Odd? Odd how?" She watched as Derek turned curiously red under her scrutiny.
"Well," he scratched his head. "People said he had magic. Not that I ever saw him do anything, but he had that air about him you know. Although even if he were, no one would care. In these parts, you get all sorts coming through. Can't really afford to be picky you know."
Merlin couldn't stop himself from grinning a little. At least now he knew he wouldn't have to be so iron strict about keeping their magic hidden. Of course he didn't want to make such a spectacle either, lest he attract the interest of Arthur's patrols since they were still in his Kingdom.
He looked around for the fireplace and found it devoid of firewood. Merlin groaned and shrugged off his cloak, still wearing the green moss colored dress he'd been wearing since turning into a woman. He grabbed the ax placed next to the fireplace.
"Godric!" The brown haired boy's head popped out from a door in the hallway where they were exploring the rooms.
"Yes Mistress?"
"Look after the others, I'm going out to get some firewood." Merlin soon found out he was not in fact going out to cut some firewood when Derek held his arm gently, taking the axe from him.
"Let me do that, Mistress Elladora. I can do it faster." He exited the house with Merlin staring after him in confusion. Did he look that weak? He inspected his arms and hands. It was true they were smaller than his male ones, but that didn't mean he couldn't cut his own firewood. A giggle brought him out his thoughts as Rowena and the others gathered around him.
"I think he fancies you Mistress." Rowena said gleefully. It was so exciting to see this kind of thing up close! Merlin shook his head.
"He does no such thing Rowena. Careful of what comes out of that mouth." Merlin scolded her affectionately, while internally grimacing at the idea. The last thing he needed was love coming in and creating a mess of a perfectly good situation. He would have to think of a solution.
. . . . . . . . .
That night, Merlin sat in the kitchen space of the home, warming the food that Derek had delivered from his home, Merlin accepted it graciously (seeing as they didn't have any supplies to cook yet) and studiously tried to ignore the stares that Salazar and Godric were giving them, and the giggles from Rowena.
As they ate, Merlin decided to pose a question he'd been mulling over.
"Seeing as we're going to be here for an extended period of time, how would you feel about learning some magic?" Seeing the way that their eyes lit up at the suggestion, Merlin felt it safe to assume that they were agreeable to the proposition.
"Well then, we start tomorrow."
. . . . . . . . .
It was easier said than done, to teach a bunch of children an art as delicate as magic. But yet, if Merlin did not, they would seriously injure themselves or each other. Not that they weren't trying already.
Salazar had developed somewhat of a tendency to heckle Helga, going out of his way to leave bugs in her bed or use his magic to turn her hair green. Other times, he would simply wait for Helga to be practicing her magic and then lean in to mess it up for her. It sent the normally genial Helga into a whirlwind of annoyance.
Merlin just figured it was similar behavior to that of pulling the pigtails of a girl you liked. Godric and Rowena on the other hand, took to their studies with gusto. They all pitched in when there was a patient, having learned the names and the locations of many herbs, they often went out together to find them for Merlin.
"Ouch! Salazar that hurts!"
"You're too slow!"
"Stop it you two. Mistress won't like it if she finds you bothering Helga again!"
"Goodness Salazar, one might think you enjoy bothering Helga."
"I do not!"
"What's going on here?"
Merlin fought the urge to laugh when he saw the children trying to put on their least guiltiest faces. It was a full life, the one Merlin had once dreamed of living. But how long would it last? Merlin refused to dwell on it and instead focused on giving the children a full education (well as full as he could manage).
There was another problem however. The transformation enchantment was giving him all sorts of issues. He couldn't transform back into a man and he couldn't for the life of him figure out why. But he didn't like lying to the children and he'd told them as soon as they were settled in, that he was truly a man. He gave them a watered down explanation of his situation, but of all the responses he'd expected, the hysterical laughter was not one of them.
Merlin scowled.
Children were awful.
. . . . . . . . . . .
"La la la." It had been a full week since they had started living in Carhaix, and Helga found she quite liked it. There was no one to look at her funny, or yell at her for things she couldn't control. The only thing she didn't like was Salazar. He was being quite mean, even for him. Helga hummed and bent down, picking up some wolfsbane and parsley leaves. Mistress Elladora had sent her and Rowena to collect supplies with Rowena going to collect water and simultaneously practice her levitation spells. Helga had been told to find more herbs. Herbs that the village didn't sell.
Surely there had to be a reason he was behaving like this. Maybe she had done something to annoy him? He was oddly sensitive. Helga wondered if -
With a shriek, Helga tripped down a small hill and landed right in the middle of a battle ground. All around her, bodies lay everywhere. There were blood tipped swords and lances and torn clothing. Helga scrambled back as far as she could, her back hitting a tree quite painfully.
Suddenly a hand grabbed her ankle and Helga clapped a hand over her mouth to muffle her screams. She looked for the owner of the appendage and found it to belong to a man with long hair, wearing silver armor and a red cloak.
He opened his eyes slightly and groaned, quickly falling into unconsciousness. Helga looked around and realized the man was dying. As quickly as she could, Helga got shakily to her feet, grabbed her basket of herbs and sprinted through the forest back to the house.
They were going to die!