Chapter 4
When it's all over, I feel quite ashamed and Florence shows no affection towards me.
She puts her clothes back on (I didn't undress) and says "Thanks, I've enjoyed it" with a straight face.
I nod, still feeling very uncomfortable.
I feel cold and nauseated.
I wait for her to go out before me. I remain in her room for some minutes, observing her Art prints and kimonos hanging everywhere.
I don't know if I laugh or cry, my fangirl dream of shagging Florence Welch just came true. It's not HER I'm in love with, though. I want to be with Isa...
I feel like such a jerk!!
What the fuck have I done?
I can only think about Isa and how she would take this. Perhaps she won't care or think I'm a slut.
I leave Florence's room and go to the guest room. I remain there looking at the walls which seem to be closing on me.
Whilst all the others are in the living room listening to loud music, laughing and drinking, I close my eyes and try to relax.
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Half an hour later I decide to go join the rest of the party.
Florence is playing around with Rob, she smiles at me like nothing happened.
When Isa finally arrives, I come near her and say we need to talk. We go upstairs.
I can only hope I haven't ruined things between us.
Isa has a puzzled look on her face and asks me what's wrong.
"You can tell me everything, what's going on?", She enquires calmly but showing concern for me.
"I had sex with Florence...", I begin, "I regret it now, but at the heat of the moment I thought it was ok, since we're just friends and you're in an open relationship with..."
Isa cuts in "Has she told you that? Fucking twat!!! She's seduced you, hasn't she?
Oh, I am going to kill her..." she punches the wall behind her not caring if she hurts her hand.
I'm suddenly scared.
Isa is seriously angry. If I had just met her, I'd swear she would go for somebody's throat.
"I need to talk to Florence RIGHT NOW!!!", she growls.
I feel like digging a hole in the ground and going in there, never coming out. Why did I have to tell her? But I can't lie to her, I'm so in love.
She storms out of our room and descends the stairs. I can hear the shouting from here.
Rob, who seems to be sober, is trying to calm Isa down.
I hear Florence's unmistakable loud laugh. She is clearly drunk and is trying to avoid confronting Isa.
I quickly go down the many steps and grab Isa by the arm. She intertwines her hand in mine.
Rob nods and understands, pulling away.
All the rest of the people move to other rooms and leave the three of us alone.
Isa is crying by now, and I don't know what to say.
"Why did you do this, Florence? If you wanted to hurt me, why get Victoria in this mess?", she is still talking very loudly.
"I'm sorry, it was my fault", I barge in.
Florence speaks for the first time, "No, it's my own doing, forgive me, Isa.", she says, but she doesn't sound very convincing.
"It's not the first time she's done something like this."
Isa turns to Florence, "You knew I wanted to go steady with Victoria and you had to fuck it up royally, hadn't you?
What do you want from me? I've had it with you, you idiot." Isa is red in the face.
Did they forget I was in the room? They're now discussing me like I wasn't there. She never mentioned going steady with me...
I squeeze her hand and Isa suddenly snaps out of it.
"I was going to ask you to be my girlfriend tonight, make it official, Vicky... I told Florence about it, she said she was happy for me..." Isa is holding back her tears.
Florence seems ashamed, and buries her face in her hands. She doesn't utter a word.
What did I get into?
Flo certainly has feelings for Isa, who is trying to ignore her own feelings, too and move on.
I choose to be selfish now and fight for the love of this woman.
"Stay away from her." She tells Florence, very firmly, "And stay the fuck away from me!!
Let's get out of here, babe", Isa drags me out of the room and kisses me hard.
It feels good to be kissed so passionately, despite all of the drama which led to this.
What am I doing?