Revenge Is Never A Straight Line (Oh, How I'm Lost)
So, she doesn't have an actual plan.
Or, really any plan.
All she knows when she wakes up is that she's going to kill Lexa. She has to, she promised Finn. It wasn't really him, but it sure as hell felt like it was.
Or course, killing a Commander is a lot easier said than done, she thinks to herself as she turns towards the sound of Lexa and Indra speaking in rushed, low voices. Lexa doesn't look at her, but she must notice that she's woken up, because she quickly dismisses the other woman.
"You're awake." Lexa states, finally turning to look at her once the tent flap closes.
Clarke nods, sitting up. "What were you two talking about?"
"Nothing important." The brunette says stiffly, "Are you hungry?" She gestures towards the food lining the table she sits at.
"It must've been at least a little important for you to discuss it with another in your tent, while your mate sleeps." Clarke smiles as she walks over to Lexa.
The other girl scowls, mouth opening to reply as her eyes scan Clarke's body, clad in only Lexa's shirt. Her gaze reaches the blonde's right arm and her face turns to one of shock. "What happened?" Her eyes widen comically, previous sentence long forgotten.
Clarke looks down at her arm, and it's only then that she remembers clawing at it last night. There are countless half crescents marring the tender flesh, dried blood surrounding all of them. Some overlap, others intercept scratches that are borderline too deep.
They're mesmerizing, and she gets lost in them until Lexa snaps her out of it, sitting her in one of the intricately carved chairs. She kneels in front of the blonde with a rag, grabbing her arm and cleaning it. "How did this happen?"
"I don't know," Clarke speaks stiffly, watching her mate stare up at her, exasperation clear in her features. "I probably had a nightmare."
The other seems to accept the lie, "Do they happen often?"
The blonde wants to roll her eyes, tell Lexa that it isn't her business, that she's the cause of most of them. That they'll probably happen every night now that she's made her kill Finn.
But she knows the commander wouldn't be apologetic in the slightest and she doesn't think she has it in her to deal with that right now. Besides, she has to make Lexa believe she's forgiven her if she expects to be able to kill her. She settles with a simple 'yes'.
Another nod from the brunette. "Are they always this bad?"
Clarke hisses at the sting, "Sometimes." Once her arms done being bandaged, she gently removes it from Lexa's grip. "It doesn't matter, we have more important things to discuss. Like Mount Weather."
"We've already discussed every option, Clarke. The only way we're getting in is if we have an inside man."
The blonde bites harshly at her meat, wishing it was her mate's neck. "I'm not sending Bellamy in there."
Lexa shrugged, face unreadable as she sits down in the chair across from Clarke. "I was not the one who suggested Bellamy. If I recall, he volunteered himself."
Clarke snorted, "Bellamy likes to be a hero. He doesn't know what goes on in there."
The brunette's eyebrow quirks up slightly, "I'm sure he's quite well informed on what--"
Clarke slams her hand down, rattling the glasses on the table. "I am not letting him go in there." Her voice raising with finality.
"You care about him." Green eyes meet blue, which roll at the implication.
"I care about all of them."
"And yet, you worry for him more." The commander's voice raises too, so slightly that Clarke almost doesn't notice it.
"Bellamy and I are not, and have never been together." She notices the disbelief in Lexa's face and adds "He has a mate." to help convince her before she thinks better of it.
Once she realizes what she's said, her jaw drops at her own stupidity as she tries to figure out how to dig herself out of this hole. "I didn't, I usually- I mean... that's not who I am. Well, it is. But it's not. I don't.."
Lexa sits back and watches as she struggles to find words, eventually taking pity on her. "We head back to your camp soon. I'll leave you to get dressed." She states, as she quickly exits the tent.
The blonde sighs, letting her head roll into her hands. That couldn't have gone worse, even if she tried. She takes deep breathes, counting to ten before she pushes herself out of the chair, going to find her clothes.
Once they're back at her camp, her mother calls a meeting in the council room.
"Have any of you had any ideas?" Abby asks wearily, looking between Clarke and Lexa constantly. She must have heard the rumours, then. The blonde doesn't make eye contact in an attempt to ignore the obvious, unable to deal with her mother's questions right now. But when she looks over at Lexa, she sees that the commander's eyes never once leave her mother's face, her eyes holding a challenge.
"I think I've figured out how to blow the acid fog, but we'd still need someone inside to actually do it." Raven shrugs, voice void of any emotion- as if she couldn't care less whether they get their friends back or not.
Bellamy speaks next, "I already told Clarke that I'll go."
Said girl's head snaps up. "I already told you we aren't going to send you in."
"What other choice do we have?" Kane asks her.
"I don't know, but this isn't happening." It can't, she's already lost so many people, she can't lose him too. She won't.
"Clarke-"
"No," she huffs, "Think about Murph, Bellamy. You can't do this to him." She's frantic, hoping to strike a chord.
It must work, because he pales at the mention of his mate. He's about to speak until Raven cuts him off. "Since when do you care about people's mates?" Her eyes flicker to Indra and she doesn't continue like Clarke was expecting her to. She sees Anya's hand gripping her good knee tightly and realizes her mate must have warned her about the grounder's beliefs. At least they won't have another war to fight (probably). "I'm gonna get going, lots of work to do." She sighs, grabbing her crutches and turning to leave.
"Wick's been assigned to the job too. Engineer, Farm Station. He should be there already." Abby informs her.
Raven only nods, exiting the room. Anya follows after Lexa nods towards the door, giving her permission.
"I'm going." Bellamy says once more, watching her walk out. "I have to. Murphy will be fine, as long as I come back. Which I will." He says it with confidence, but his eyes tell a different story.
"He's gonna kill you." Octavia whispers, smirking. It doesn't reach her eyes.
"How will you get in?" Lexa questions, leaning against a window. She's engulfed in the sunlight, and Clarke can't help but think her eyes look really pretty like that.
"I can bring him in, I know the way." Lincoln offers.
Octavia glares at him, "Only if I come with you."
"They can go through the tunnels." Indra's voice echoes in the tiny room.
Abby smiles tightly, "So all that's left is for Raven and Wick to figure out how to cut the power. We'll meet again at dawn tomorrow. Bellamy, Lincoln, you should say your goodbyes." They all begin rushing out, "Clarke, wait."
The blonde halts, Lexa staying by her side and Indra stalling near them too.
"I'd like to talk to my daughter alone please, Commander."
The brunette looks between Abby and her mate, seeing the tension in Clarke's shoulders. "I'd rather stay, thank you." She says eventually before turning to Indra. "Go gather the armies of the twelve clans."
Abby waits until she's gone before speaking, "The rumors are true, then?" She asks, still staring at Lexa.
"Yes."
"What is your plan for her?"
"Mom! I'm right here." Clarke groans, ignored by both.
"My plan?"
"Lincoln told me your people's beliefs about soul mates. I want to make sure you're going to take care of her."
"If Lincoln told you of our beliefs, then surely you must already know the answer."
Abby glares at her before continuing. "Are you planning on taking away her free will?"
"I will always listen to Clarke's side before making a decision that involves her." Lexa answers, noncommittal as always.
"Will she be living here, or with you?"
"She may stay where she pleases for now. Once I return to Polis--"
"Stop talking about me like I'm not even here." Clarke speaks again, stepping in between them.
"I was just trying to--"
"Thanks, I really appreciate it mom but we have to get going now. Important war plans and all." She smiles falsely, dragging her mate out of the room.
"You are not supposed to pull me, Clarke."
"Shut up."
"Or say that."
Clarke nods, "Fine, point taken. Do you want to train?" She asks, anger still bubbling inside her.
Lexa shakes her head, "I must return to my camp, inform the generals of our plans. We can train tomorrow, if you'd like. Are you staying with me again?"
Clarke sighs, "Not tonight. I want to say goodbye to my friends." She says the end bitterly, without meaning to.
But Lexa doesn't seem annoyed, only nods before turning to go.
"Lexa...wait." This is it, she thinks, she has to lower her mate's walls somehow.
As soon as the brunette turns around, Clarke closes the space between them, wrapping her arms around the slender woman.
Lexa doesn't hug back at first, so Clarke pulls back, dropping her arms. The commander searches the blue eyes in front of her for a bit before reaching out and pulling the shorter girl back.
"See you tomorrow." Clarke whispers into Lexa's chest.
"And I, you." The commander's hand cups her cheek lightly before she lets her go, marching out of the ark.
The blonde holds her cheek where Lexa had, unsure of whether or not she likes how the tingles dance across her skin. She can still feel the way her name on Lexa's palm pressed into her skin. She catches sight of her mother, hugging the doorway with a small smile on her face.
"I don't want to talk about it." She speaks quickly, rushing out of the doorway herself with her hand still cradling the tingles.
"I didn't think you would." She hears her mother say, laughter in her voice, just before she gets out of earshot.