shits going down
"So how was detention?"
Angelica, Alex, John, and Laf were walking back from debate club. Debate club became pretty wild, the members splitting into two groups: Democratic Republicans and Federalists. The Federalists won, of course, having Angelica on their team.
Alex looked at Angelica quizzically. "Didn't we tell you about that already?"
John bumped Alex playfully. "She wasn't there the day after, remember?"
"Oh," Alex said, nodding understandingly. "Oh yeah, where were you?"
"I was.... with Maria."
"She was getting bizzay," Lafayette yelled from the side. Angelica slapped his arm.
"But what did happen?"
Alex sighed, trying to remember it. It had been a while {im shit at pacing remember so just deal with long period of time k thx} since the detention actually happened. "So apparently Longbottom had an illegal plant-" Angelica let out a scandalized gasp. "Yeah. Apparently he wanted one for a long time. And then he went to this dark pub and got it. And then-"
"Wait," Angelica said, pausing in her tracks. "He wanted this plant."
"Mmmhmmm."
"And then this guy. Just shows up in the middle of a dark pub. With an illegal plant that he wanted."
Alex nodded again. "That seems about right."
"Doesn't that seem... a little off to you?"
The two boys and other shook their heads. "It seems perfectly fine," Alex reasoned.
"Oh my god you are all idiots," Angelica said, slapping a hand to her forehead. "Longbottom. Wanted this illegal plant forever. And then some stranger just shows up and gives it to him. In a dark pub. Strange?"
Realization dawned on Alex's face. "Oh shit...."
"Yeah." She turned around, towards the direction of Longbottom's office. "Come on."
The group ran towards Professor Longbottom's office. Angelica knocked on his door. "Excuse me? Excuse me, Professor Longbottom-"
The door opened. "Yes?" He looked at Angelica inquisitively.
"Who gave you that illegal plant?" Angelica asked him bluntly. She held her hands in front of her innocently, with Alex, Laf, and John behind her.
"Um, it was, um- I really can't tell you."
Angelica's gaze sharpened, and she stepped forward, pressing a finger on the professor's chest. "Oh, I'm sure you can remember," she said in a sugary tone. "Wouldn't want the ministry to find out about this."
Alex, Laf, and John gaped behind her. After all, she was blackmailing a teacher.
Professor Longbottom backed up, flustered. "No, seriously, I really can't tell you, I didn't even see the guy's face. He was cloaked!"
The boys and other behind Angelica would have thought that the scene before them was pretty funny, because, well, a Hogwarts teacher was being intimidated by a first year, but everybody was intimidated by Angelica Schuyler.
"What do you remember?" Angelica said, leaning against the doorframe and looking at her nails.
"Um, not much, we, he was giving me drinks, you see-" At that, Angelica looked at him sharply. "And, well, I told him a bit about Leafy-"
"Leafy was that devil plant?" Laf whispered to Alex, who nodded.
"And how to get pass him."
"And how do you get pass him?"
"Oh, it's simple, just play some music, that calms him down."
"Thank you Mr. Longbottom," Angelica said boldly, stepping away from the door. "You are dismissed." Professor Longbottom stared shocked at her, as she closed the door. She turned to her friends, and gestured towards the third floor. "Come on, let's go."
"Where are we going?" Alex asked her. He made his way towards there, but he was still very confused.
"Someone's going after the philosopher's stone," Angelica murmured as they hurried towards there.
"Care to elaborate?"
"Isn't it obvious? What's under the trapdoor that you guys found, ages ago, was the stone. Someone drugged Longbottom and weaseled information out of him on how to get past that plant. And now the stone's in danger, and we need to get to it as quickly as possible."
"How does that make so much sense and no sense at all at the same time?" John asked.
"I don't know, I get it," Laf murmured.
"Oh my god why didn't I think of that!" Alex exclaimed.
"It's cause yall stupid," Angelica retorted. They hurried towards the third floor, passing Aaron Burr, who was walking by.
"Hey!" Burr yelled after them. "You guys can't go in the third floor!"
"Watch me," Alex yelled back, as Angelica was casting a spell to unlock the door to Leafy's hideout. The gang went into the room, and Burr ran in the room as well.
"Stop," he gasped, bending over. "You, are, not, supposed, to be in the room." At last, he looked up, and saw a giant human eating plant in front of his face.
"We didn't bring an instrument did we?" Alex whispered. There was a harp on the floor, far far away, which Alex was sure none of them knew how to play. Except for maybe Angelica, lord knows she could do anything.
"Nope," John said back.
"Merde," Lafayette said.
Angelica began to sing. Well, not sing, rap. "I've been reading Common Sense by Thomas Paine. Some men say that I'm intense, or I'm insane."
At that, the plant began to calm down. The boys, and other, looked at her incredulously. "You want a revolution, I want a revelation. So listen to my declaration: We hold these truths to be self-evident that all men are created equal. And when I meet Thomas Jefferson, I'm gonna compel him to include women in the sequel- WALK!" She rapped, and then yelled at the other guys for not doing anything when the plant was calm.
"Did you just freestyle that?" Laf asked her as they tiptoed towards the trapdoor. Angelica nodded smugly. They got to the trapdoor, opened by John and Alex. They looked down into the darkness.
"We're gonna have to jump down that aren't we?" Burr asked softly.
"Yup," John replied.
"Welp," Alex said, straightening his spine. "Not it."
"Not it," Angelica's almost instant reply.
"Not it," John's reply, filled with amusement over how childish his boyfriend was.
"Not it," Lafayette's eager reply.
"Shit," Burr's reply when he realized that he was meant to go down first. He backed away slowly. "I'm just, gonna, you guys can, go ahead break the law-"
"Nope," Angelica said, grabbing him by the back of his jacket. She pushed him down the trapdoor. "Down the chute, flyboy."
Angelica sat down on the edge of it, proceeding to go next. "Shouldn't you guys be going first, I mean, you are Gryffindors," she said to them, and then dropped them. Lafayette rolled their eyes. They, too, went down as well, leaving Alex and John there.
"Come on," John said, pressing a kiss to Alex's lips. "Let's go." He grabbed Alex's hand, and pulled him into the chute with him. They fell down a long way, and then landed, bouncing on some kind of green surface. It was very dark, and his friends were no where to be found.
John made a move to stand up, but immediately, he was pulled down by vines. Oh shit, he thought. He looked over, and Alex was struggling as well, being more caught in the vines than he was. He tried moving, but got entangled even more.
"Wait! I know what this plant is!" he heard Alex proclaim from next to him. "It's called the Devil's Snare-I know about it, I read about it in a book-"
"WE GET THAT YOU READ ALEX NOW CAN YOU GET US OUT OF HERE!" John heard Lafayette yell.
"Yeah! So, um to make it stop, you have to light a fire, but I don't have a match-"
"ARE YOU NOT A WIZARD!" Angelica yelled.
"Oh yeah." At that, Alex took out his wand with some difficulty, and lit a fire. The vines immediately went away, and John was able to see his friends again.
Immediately, Angelica strode over to Alex. "You're an idiot," she said, deadpanned. "Well, come on now, there's no going back. I'm talking to you, Burr."
Burr looked at Lafayette, as in asking Is she really like this? Lafayette just shrugged, and followed her through the door into the next room.
The next room was filled with keys flying around. Like, lots of keys just flying around. And then there was a big door, with a large key hole. And a broom was floating in the middle. Angelica looked around, analyzing the situation.
"So," she said. "It appears to me that we have to find a key to get through the door."
"So where's the key?" Alex asked.
She gestured above her, as saying duh. "We have to get this broom, and fly around and find a large key that stands out."
At the mention of the word broom, Alex and Burr stepped back. They were absolute shit at flying. John and Lafayette started arguing over who should do it.
"I should do it," John said. "I mean, I am the better flyer."
"No, I am," Lafayette retorted.
"You only think you're the better flyer because you have the state of the art brooms."
"So do you!"
"Nuh uh, my parents can't afford them."
"Yes they can, they're fucking rich as fuck!"
"Yeah, but your family is richer!"
"No!"
"Lafayette you're basically fucking royalty."
"Not true."
"It is so true."
"Yeah, well you're super rich because your family used to be part of a huge house elf plantation."
John let out a scandalized gasp. "Do not bring S.P.E.W. into this!"
"Why not?"
"It's not relevant!"
"Yes it is-"
"Guys," Angelica cut through. She snapped in front of their faces, and then proceeded to wave a very large very silver key in front of their faces.
"Whaaaa," Lafayette said.
"While you males and not male were arguing," she said. "I kinda stole the broom and found the key." She shrugged, and unlocked the door. She pulled it open dramatically. "Now, if you will please shut up over who is richer, obviously, I am, and enter the next room."
John met eyes with Lafayette and Alex, who both shrugged. Burr walked into the next room, scandalized.
The next room was a huge chess board. Like really fucking huge. Like life size huge. Like John's dick huge, Alex thought.
Angelica surveyed the room. "We're supposed to fucking play chess. Come on, mount a chess piece, we have to play across the room."
Burr chose a bishop, John and Lafayette took a knight, and Alex went for the king. Angelica became the queen. "You can be the king but watch the queen conquer," she said to him, flipping her hair.
And conquer she did. She ordered them around, viciously tearing apart the other side. They suffered many casualties on their side too, but no pieces that their friends were on. Laf, Burr, and John were moved around, and Angelica did a lot of the mauling of chess pieces herself. Alex hasn't moved since the game started.
Things were going pretty good, meaning Angelica was slaying, until things weren't going pretty good. As in, in order to win, Angelica had to be sacrificed.
"Hey, guys, so, I'm gonna, like die, ok?" she called out to them.
"No, what the fuck no way," Alex yelled from his perch on the king.
"No, not literally," Angelica elaborated. "But the queen needs to die so that we can win."
"NO, Angelica! No," Lafayette yelled.
"Good luck trying to make it through the next rooms without me," she yelled.
"Angelica, don't you dare-"
Angelica shrugged. "Fuck it-" she said, and then moved her queen in position. The marble queen got smashed, but Angelica got off pretty okay. Meaning she lay there unconscious.
The rest of them jumped off of their characters. "Do you think she's-" Burr asked hesitantly, but Alex cut him off.
"There is no way Angie is dead she's too good for that."
"Dude," Lafayette said. "If she hears you call her Angie one more time she's gonna murder you in your sleep. Dead or alive, she's gonna slit your throat."
Alex rolled his eyes, and headed into the next room. And let out a surprised "eep!"
In the room was an unconscious troll. John patted Alex's back. "Real manly of you there," he said. Alex stuck his tongue out.
They crept past the room, and entered the next one. In the middle of the room was a table, with seven bottles on it. The group reached the table, and black flames sprung up in front of them and purple behind them.
"Woah," John said, reaching to touch the fire. "Cool."
"No, no, no," Lafayette said, tackling his arm. He pointed at John. "Don't do that."
"Do what?"
"Suicidal recklessness."
"Woah, guys, look at this," Alex exclaimed from the table. He was holding a piece of paper. "There's a riddle on this!"
Burr looked around. "Well, I'm assuming that one of those potions can get us through the flames."
"Yeah, that's what the riddle says," Alex said. And then he threw the sheet of paper in the flames.
"WHAT'D YOU DO THAT FOR!" Burr yelled. Alexander shrugged.
"I'd read about these," he said arrogantly. "I'll be able to figure out which is which."
"Oh my god," Lafayette said, sitting down. "Angelica was right, we'll be able to get nothing done and we're gonna be stuck here and die."
"Chillax," Alex said. He sauntered over to the table with the potions, took one good look at all of them, and then said "Fuck."
Lafayette groaned even louder. "I might as well just go through the flames to get Angelica to save all of our asses."
John was sitting on the side, messing with the fire. In all, they were a mess.
"Come on Alexander," Burr said, gesturing towards the table. After a while (a really long time), they were able to figure out which ones let them go through the flames.
Alex held up the bottle triumphantly. "Aha!" he said. Lafayette stood up, and grabbed the bottle.
"There's only enough for three of them," they said.
"Oh shit."
"Is there one that lets you go back?"
And then Burr and Alex argued for another while (another really long time), and found the bottle for that.
Lafayette grabbed it, and downed it. They walked through the flames. "You guys deal with that shit," they said. "I'm going back to Angelica."
Alex shrugged. The three split the potion, and carried on into the next room.
Inside, they found one of their teachers. Charles Lee.
"I HATE YOU," Alex immediately yelled at him.
"Alex," Burr said, patting his arm.
"Babe, that was pretty fucking reckless, even for my standards," John whispered in his ear.
"What?" Alex asked, shrugging. "He's committing a crime, as we speak. I guess that I get to yell my profanities now without getting in trouble."
"Well, yea, sure, but like-"
"Boys," Burr cut in.
"Sorry," they mumbled.
"So you're the one who wanted to steal the stone," Alex said to Lee accusingly. Lee stopped his evil disney villain pacing, and nodded.
"Yup.... seems about right."
"Why?"
"It's for the Dark Lord, you idiot."
"Who's the dark lord he's talking about?" Alex whispered to John.
"I'm pretty sure it's you-know-who," he whispered back.
"Who is?"
"King George, duh."
Alex noticed the Mirror of Erised in the middle of the chamber. "Hey why is that there?" he wondered out loud.
"It's the key to getting the stone," Lee said, pausing to stroke the mirror carefully. Kinky.
"How?"
"Well, you're the key, apparently. But I don't know why that would be, since you're nothing more than the bastard brat of a Scottish peddler-"
"YOU BASTARD," Alex yelled, and lunged forward to attack Lee. And tripped. And sprained his ankle. "Ow," he whined, cradling his foot. John crouched down, and tended to him.
"You ok? You didn't break anything, that's just sprained-"
"No I'm not ok, my honor is wounded." John rolled his eyes.
"What, do you want me to duel him or something?"
"Actually, that's a pretty good idea. We stall, for when Laf and Angie get back, and my honor is returned."
John petted Alex's hair lovingly. He stood up, and boldly proclaimed, "I challenge you to a duel, Mr. Charles Lee."
"What! No, you can't do that," Burr said. "He's a teacher, for goodness sakes-"
"He's working for you-know-who-"
"Yeah, but-"
"I accept," Lee said from across the room. "Burr, you are my second."
John turned around, and looked down on Alex. "I mean, I guess you're my second? Well, you're the only other guy in the room, so...."
Burr was still trying to get them to stop. "No, John, you can't do this, you might die. Or worse. Expelled."
John chuckled, and pushed Burr away. "It's fine, I got this." He pulled out his wand, and took off his jacket. "Hold this for me?" he said, tossing it to Alex.
Kiss his ass baby I got yo jacket, Alex mouthed at him, giving him a thumbs up. John and Lee started. They had Burr count their paces.
"One two three, I can't believe I have to count out loud for you guys, four five six, this is highly illegal and someone is going to die, seven eight nine TEN PACES FIRE."
Lee was the one that got hurt, on the side. Burr rushed over, and pressed his hand against Lee's wound.
"I can't believe I lost to a first year," Lee muttered.
"Sir, shhh, conserve your strength," he said.
"Lee do you yield?" Alex asked from the floor.
"You shot him in the side yes he yields!" Burr yelled exasperatedly.
"I'm satisfied," John said.
"We should probably get out of here," Alex said.
And at that, teachers and important people who totally had the power to expel them for just about doing anything came into the chamber.
Alex looked at them helplessly.
"Shit."