You Got Sarged!
The older man growled as he watched the new neighbors move in from the porch. Crikes! Sarge shook his head in disgust. He stiffly marched back into his own cabin and made his way into the bathroom. He stopped in front of the mirror examining himself. White. Tanned skin. Dirty blonde hair. Short but muscular. He took note of his standard military style buzz cut and the deep scar to the side of his head. The former soldier gently touched the scar. It no longer felt pain from the bullet.
The soldier gazed into the mirror and yelled out, “Today is a good day to die!” He smiled his most vicious war smile and continued on his way. The cobblestone path led from outside his home to the other cabins. He marched to the newest cabin. Construction had finished on it a few weeks ago. It was a little further back than the other cabins and it had blue shutters.
Suspiciously blue shutters.
The Army veteran shook in anxiety. Who had they let in this time? Last time it was that know it all soldier boy who was too emotionally constipated for his own good. The former soldier walked over to where his new neighbor was moving boxes.
“So we have another filthy blue do we?” The Colonel asked into the air. The ebony man turned to look at him. Sarge’s soldier mind assessed the situation quickly, looking for any weak points that the other may have. Their new neighbor wasn’t overly built and had a calm expression on his face.
“What?” Tucker asked confused.
“Your shutters boy! They are blue and I came to warn you that you are on the battlefield now! You filthy blue! Prepare for war!” The deep southern accent announced.
The man looked back at his cabin and zeroed in on the blue shutters. He turned to look the soldier in the eye. “Yeah, they’re blue. so what?”
“Great Jehosaphats! You don’t even know what side you’re on! Oh what has become of the chain of command since I left? You poor blue bastard.” Sarge lamented. The other man continued to look at him confused.
“Yeah, well, I’m Tucker.” The man awkwardly stated as he held out his hand. The soldier’s eyes narrowed at the appendage.
“Don’t get too friendly with me blue! This is still a war!” Tucker pulled his hand back.
“Dude, this is a rental home. We’re not at war. Everyone is the same.” Sarge could feel his pupils dilate from the obvious propaganda.
“Lies! Filthy blue lies! You’re insane! Oh, we finally have someone who has snapped under the pressure! Therapy! You need therapy and lots of it! Oh the insanity! Not at war? life is war you filthy blue! And I will not let you forget it! Drop and give me infinity!”
“No way man. I am way too tired. If you know what I mean, Bow chicka bow wow.”
“What in tarnation? Refusing a direct order? Oh God, the insubordination!”
“Hey Dude..”
“That is Colonel to you, Private!”
“Yeah, I’m not calling you that. Mind chilling out a little. My son will be here by tonight and I don’t want him to be yelled at or freaked out.”
“You procreated? Oh no! A world with more blues! Why, Oh why? I can’t attack a kid! He hasn’t even gone through basic training yet! It would be too cruel!”
“What would be too cruel?” A high voice asked from the side. Both Sarge and Tucker looked over to see a white young man in his late twenties standing behind Sarge. He was at least a foot taller than both of the men. He had light blond hair which looked like bed head and wide large blue eyes. The soldier turned and saluted the other man.
“Good Morning Private Caboose!”
“Good Morning Sir! It is good to see you Sir!” The other excitedly stated. He seemed genuinely happy to see the Veteran.
“Darn straight! At ease private!” The salute stopped.
“Oh we have a new visitor! I am so excited! Pleased to meet you Mr. neighbor! My name is Caboose and this is Mr. Sarge and we will have so much fun together!” Caboose rambled out as he furiously shook Tucker’s hand. The other winced as he shook back. Once the new resident got his arm back he rubbed it to get some feeling back into his hand.
“I’m Tucker.”
“Yes, and he’s a filthy blue!” Sarge added in.
“But I am a filthy blue too!” Caboose happily added.
“Your color class was a typo! I refuse to believe it!” The Sarge declared.
“But I like blue.” The tall man simply stated.
“Ah, the insanity! C’mon Private Caboose! We have training to do!”
“Oh! Are we going to play the push up game again?” The other blue innocently asked.
“Good Lord son! Don’t call it that! The enemy will think we’re a bunch of pansies!”
“Oh, I like picking flowers!”
“Not those kinds of pansies. You know what, just forget it.”
“Ok! Done and done! Goodbye Mr. Tucker! I hope we can play again later!”
“Yes, enjoy the time you have left because I will be keeping an eye out for you Blue.”
The two walked off down the walkway until they were unseen by Tucker. The man shook his head, all of a sudden wondering if this really WAS better than being on the street. Tucker looked a little freaked out however true to his nature he snapped out of it quickly. He continued to move boxes into his house.
Phyllis sat at her desk as Sheila went out to do case management today. She was a toned, white lady who always kept her blond hair up in a professional bun. She wore a tailored cream colored suit with a matching pencil skirt. Her twin sister was technically the administrator of the Valhalla Halfway House but the two commonly switched jobs and ran the office together. There was only so much they could take within their given job title.
Phyllis readied herself as the door to her office was slammed open.
“General Phyllis! Colonel Sarge reporting for duty! Permission to speak freely!” The military man yelled out as he held a salute. His body jumped trembled with panicked excitement.
“At ease Colonel. Permission granted. Once again I will remind you that I am not a General. What can I help you with?”
“The war! Oh we were given another blue on the battlefield! He doesn’t believe that we are all training for war! The boy is insane! And he has a kid! We don’t need a kid around here! It will ruin our training exercises!”
“I’m sorry Colonel. Command has made it clear that Mr. Tucker is to be staying here.”
“But why? It’s a complete disaster waiting to happen!”
“Command does not like being questioned Colonel. We do not question Command.”
“I know. Can I kick him out?” The man dejectedly stated.
“That would be against the rules and ill advised. I cannot permit you to sabotage another soldier’s chances at recovery and stability.”
“I know but…”
“Are you whining soldier?” He icily asked. The Veteran sprung up.
“No General! Whining is improper and is an embarrassment to the Army itself!” The man repeated.
“Good! We will honor Command’s orders! Is that clear soldier?”
“Yes, General!”
“Good. You are dismissed.”
“Thank you General! It has been a pleasure as always!”
Phyllis let out a breath of relief as the soldier left her office. All those years she spent in the military certainly payed off. She looked at the American flag which adorned her office and her medals for excellent service which hung from the right wall next to Sheila’s Master’s of Business Degree. She needed all the experience she could get when dealing with Sarge.
She stood up to reach for his file to add his concerns to his report. Sarge’s file was a standard red color and at least four inches wide. The man had many concerns. Phyllis passed over the page detailing the head wound the Colonel received while on active duty and added the newest information to the notes.
They would have to get him a new folder soon.