Chapter 4
“Are you out of your mind?!” Echo shouted as she crashed through Clarke’s front door only to find the girl seated at her dining table trying to reach behind her and clean the wounds on her back.
“Is that any way to treat your injured friend?” Clarke asked sarcastically.
“I should leave you to help yourself, seeing as you clearly have a death wish.” Echo muttered even as she grabbed the rag from the blonde’s hands and gently started dabbing at her wounds.
“Lexa asked if I wanted to join her, and I said no. Nothing particularly insane to me.”
“You and I both know you don’t just disrespect and turn down the Commander without serious repercussions.”
“Nothing I said was disrespectful. I simply declined an invitation.”
“From the Commander! It’s a little bit more important than an invite to peruse the markets.”
“She can’t do anything about it anyway.” Clarke replied simply.
“And what, exactly is stopping her?” Echo asked incredulously as she wrapped Clarke’s arm in fresh bandages.
“Yes Clarke, what exactly is stopping me from forcing you to join me tomorrow?” Lexa chimed in from the wide open doorway causing Echo to jump slightly.
“Greetings Commander. Is there something else you needed?” Clarke asked nonchalantly.
“I would like to know what exactly is stopping me from forcing you to attend the meeting tomorrow.” Lexa said quietly, aware of the people behind her watching the exchange discretely.
“You are, Heda,” Clarke replied easily as she rose and made her way toward the guest room to check on her patient.
Echo watched confused as her close friend seemingly ignored the most powerful person in the twelve clans in favour of checking on a simple farmer.
“Try not to work it too hard and you should be fine in a couple of weeks. I’ll come by and check on it then, and decide whether it is ready to have the splint removed.” She said gently before sticking her head out the window and shouting to one of the warriors passing by.
“Colste! Can you help Freed back to his house?”
The warrior turned and smiled at the young woman. “For you, Fisa Klark, anything!”
Clarke smiled and escorted Freed to her door where she handed him off to Colste. She gasped and laughed lightly when Freed wrapped her up in a big hug then smiled as he turned to where Juno was lying and crouched down to scratch behind her ears. It made her happy that some of the adults were following their children’s example, and were no longer afraid of the great beast.
“Thank you Forest Mother,” He said softly. “May you keep protecting our golden cub for the rest of her days.”
Juno huffed and licked his face before standing up and joining her cub in her bedroom. She walked across the floor to her favoured spot near the wall and hunkered down next to the pile of furs Clarke used instead of a bed. Echo had offered more than once to go get a bed for her but Clarke refused every time, saying she would only buy a bed if Echo could find one that could support a twenty-foot, ton-and-a-half bear as well.
The mother bear watched as her cub moved about the room, purposefully ignoring the other humans as she restocked her shelves with the various roots and herbs she had acquired that morning.
Finally done arranging and rearranging her various medicines, Clarke took a seat in front of her mother bear and let understanding blue eyes quell the growing anxiety in her chest from the girls standing in the next room.
“You haven’t answered my question Clarke.” Lexa said, finally breaking the silence as she strode toward the blonde’s room. She noticed the sky girl stiffened and her chest clenched with sadness before freezing when Juno growled lowly, shaking the very foundation of the house in warning.
“Actually I did.” Clarke sighed as she stood up and turned to face Lexa. “The reason you’re not going to force me to go with you tomorrow is because you can’t. You gave me your word that Polis would be my fresh start. Away from politics, war, and killing. Therefore your only option is to actually ask me to come of my own will otherwise you’ll be going back on your word.”
“Clarke!” Echo exclaimed. “You can’t talk to her like that.”
“I mean no disrespect, Commander.” Clarke said, not taking her eyes off the brunette before her. “I was simply stating the facts.”
There was a tense silence that fell over them as the Princess of the Sky and the Commander of the Ground stared at each other intently.
“Very impressive, Fisa,” Lexa said with an appeasing smile after a few minutes. “Your cunning is more than enough proof that you should join me at the meetings.”
She watched, confused, as Clarke visibly bristled at her compliment and rage filled her fiery blue eyes. “And your words are more than enough proof that I made the correct decision in declining your invitation, Heda.”
Lexa sighed and walked back past Echo to take a seat at the table. “I’m afraid I can’t leave until I’ve convinced you otherwise.” She said.
“Well, Heda, I need to visit some patients and stop by the market to purchase some food, so please feel free to make yourself at home or come with me.”
“And if I ordered you to stay?”
“Well then you would have to explain to the people I tend to that one of their best healers is being punished for doing her job instead of being coerced into doing something she’d rather not do.”
Echo’s jaw dropped as she watched Lexa growl and shoot to her feet to follow Clarke out the door, only to be halted by Juno’s hulking frame. To her credit, the Commander stood her ground as the giant bear looked down at her with hard blue eyes. A silent warning not to harm her cub.
Lexa took a deep breath to calm herself before nodding sincerely to the bear. Content with the Commander’s intentions, Juno let loose a puff of air before turning and running down the small street with her head down. She delighted in her cub’s happy squeal as she shoved her head between the human’s legs and gingerly shoved the girl up onto her back.
Clarke laughed as her friend lifted her easily onto her back. She quickly readjusted herself and leaned forward to bury her head in soft, dark fur. “Thanks Juno.” She whispered and smiled at the responding rumble beneath her chest.
Lexa smiled as she watched Clarke ride around on top of the enormous ursine, waving and talking to those who greeted her in the street. Many people congratulated her on her fight with the wolves, and each time the sky girl would flush and simply indicate that Juno had done most of the work. She watched as her suspicions were confirmed as Clarke treated people from all walks of life with the same respect and warmth, and was surprised to find out that some other clan leaders already knew of her and had requested her services upon entering Polis.
They only spoke at times when Clarke would seemingly conscript Lexa into being her assistant, much to the shock and awe of her patients, despite the respectful way she softly ordered the Commander about. Never before had they seen their Commander answer to anyone, let alone without a fight.
They had just finished checking on a young farm boy who had fallen ill and were on their way back to the city when Clarke finally spoke.
“You said I have a reputation for being kind, right?”
“I did,” Lexa replied, “and it seems it would be an accurate observation.”
Clarke stopped and sighed before turning to Lexa. “I know you love your people, Lexa. I see it every day when you walk among them, and over my time here I’ve come to love them too. They took me in and allowed me to put my actions behind me. They gave me a life, and now, I’ve come to see them as my people too.”
“If you love them as I do,” Lexa began, “then join me at the-“ she was interrupted when Clarke pressed a pale finger against her lips.
“I love these people,” she said as she turned and started leisurely walking back towards the city. “They’ve given me a second chance, and in return I do what I can to ease their pain and heal their sickness.”
“Why are you so adamant in refusal, Clarke?” Lexa asked. Her patience for this continued dance was wearing thin. Her position might require it of her, but even so, she would much rather spar with swords instead of words. “You have the potential to accomplish so muc-“ She was cut off when a fist cracked against her jaw, catching her off guard and nearly knocking her to the ground. When she looked up at the fuming blonde she was briefly enraptured by the roaring flames raging behind cerulean orbs.
“What did I tell you when you found me in that cave?” She asked furiously.
“That you didn’t hate me?” Lexa tried, though the past few hours were starting to make her think the opposite.
“I told you I didn’t trust you.” Clarke seethed. “Or did you forget?”
“No,” Lexa replied sadly. “I remember.”
“So, knowing that, did you really think I would see whatever you say as anything more than another attempt at manipulating me?”
“I wasn’t trying to-“ She was cut off as another fist flew into her face.
“That’s bullshit and you know it!” Clarke raged. “I don’t trust you on any level! Not politically! Not professionally! And especially not personally!”
“Is this about me kissing you?” Lexa asked cautiously. Not only was she wary of the unbridled rage rolling off the blonde in waves, but after this afternoon, she was acutely aware of the giant bear standing not five feet from them as well.
“This is about you telling me you care about me and then abandoning without a word when I needed you most!” Clarke screamed.
“Clarke,” Lexa said softly, “I had no choice. My people-“
“You and I both know that’s not what I’m talking about! This isn’t about you doing what was right for your people, because I understand that. Hell, this isn’t even about you doing it behind my back -even though I probably would have agreed with you- because I understand that! This is about you giving me false hope and taking it away! This is about you planting the idea of someday being happy away from the killing and the constant struggles to survive when you had no right to!”
Lexa was ready for it this time and caught the wildly swinging fist easily as tears streamed down the blonde’s face.
“Clarke, I’m sorry…” Lexa started but she knew there was nothing more she could say. She realised her mistake when the sky girl stiffened and looked up at her, somehow angrier than before.
“NO!” She thundered. “You don’t get to apologise. You’re the Commander of an entire people; regretting choices you’ve made is a luxury you can’t afford!” Lexa stiffened and nodded, schooling her features as she did so. She deserved everything Clarke had to say, not for the betrayal, like the blonde said, but for toying with this beautiful creature’s emotions in the midst of a war where anything can happen without a moment’s notice. “Now, after having finally put together a life for myself and starting to work through some of my issues, you’re trying to manipulate me into throwing it all away and you won’t even tell me why!”
“Well, what do you want me to do?” Lexa demanded, cringing internally as she became defensive. Clarke was justified in her anger, yet Lexa still couldn’t stop herself from being on edge whenever the other girl saw through her.
“I need you to be honest with me, Lexa.” She said quietly, the fight leaving her voice. “What do you really need of me?”
Lexa sighed and ran a hand over her chocolate braids. “Politically, professionally, or personally?”
“Start with why it’s so important I attend the meeting tomorrow.”
“There are growing tensions between the Clans. The Ice Queen is looking to start a war, and killing you would be the perfect spark to ignite the flames of battle. On top of that, the other clans are wary of the Sky People colonising Mount Weather. They fear your people will become the next Mountain Men. I need you to help ease tensions between the Coalition and the Skaikru. I need the Ice Nation to see that not only am I not afraid of you, but that I have your support. You’re actions both before and after the Mountain have made you a legend among our people. They respect and love you for your warm and caring attitude –something we are not accustomed to seeing in one such as yourself- while simultaneously fearing your wrath and prowess on the battlefield. I need the one who felled our greatest foe to stand by me, especially when the Forest Mother, matron spirit of my clan, has chosen to watch over you.”
Clarke swallowed as she listened to Lexa’s heartfelt words, trusting their logic more than their sincerity.
“Everyone in Polis knows you now,” Lexa continued. “Not just for your exploits in battle, but for the kindness and care you show for all people, regardless of rank or station. Many of them already look to you as a sort of day-to-day leader, second only to me. They come to you with their problems looking for guidance, and you show them time and time again that you are more than willing to provide it.” She paused and made sure she wore none of the masks she usually did as she tried to speak her next words as earnestly as possible. “You owe these people nothing, and it is not fair of me to ask you, but I need you to be that leader for them.”
Clarke said nothing as she turned away and walked back towards the city, considering Lexa’s words. She had meant it when she said that she knew nothing was more important to Lexa than her people. Clan didn’t matter to the Commander, everyone was her people, and the more she watched them and lived with them, the more Clarke saw them as her people too. She sighed and allowed her gaze to fall on the city stretched out before her and found herself coming to a decision; she loved these people too much to not want peace, but as they approached the gates to the city, her distrust forced her to turn and stare at the Commander once more.
“Alright,” She said. “I’ll help you, but I have conditions.”
“I will meet any conditions within my power.” Lexa replied seriously.
“No,” Clarke said, shaking her head. “I need your word as Commander of the Twelve Clans and Leader of the Coalition that my conditions will be met, otherwise I go back to my house and we go back to exchanging pleasantries in passing.”
Lexa sighed as she fought the sadness that threatened to crush her chest at hearing just how little Clarke trusted her. She took a deep breath and schooled her features before looking Clarke in the eye and speaking clearly.
“I, Lexa, Commander of the Twelve Clans, Leader of the Coalition, do give my word that the conditions of Clarke of Polis are met, lest my bloodline be dishonoured for the generations to come and my spirit never find rest.”
Clarke nodded at her words, and Lexa took note of the soft smile on her face at being addressed as Clarke of Polis.
“So, Skai Prisa,” Lexa asked. “What are your conditions?”
Clarke took a deep breath before steeling herself to bargain with the Commander of the Twelve Clans.
“First, wherever I go Juno goes.” She turned and smiled at her furry friend before turning back to Lexa. “That includes Clan meetings, war councils, and anywhere else I’ll be required to be. I also will not tolerate threats made or disrespect toward my trusted companion.”
“Done, though I don’t think she’ll fit in some of the war tents.” Lexa cheered internally as she watched Clarke fight against a small smile. “As for the disrespect, it will not be a problem. To insult Trimani Nomon is to insult the entire Trikru.”
“Good,” Clarke nodded to herself as she absently reached up to scratch behind Juno’s ears. “Second, I will not take being addressed as Wanheda as a compliment but rather an insult. Regardless of your customs, I don’t take pride in what I had to do.”
“You would deny my people their gratitude by taking offense to it?” Lexa asked neutrally.
“I didn’t say that. I’ve started to accept what’s happened, and seeing the lives saved and the fear abolished here helped greatly with that. But slaughtering more than three hundred and fifty people is not something to be celebrated. Especially when they were mostly innocent, regardless of what you think, and it was all done with the pull of a lever. Life has no meaning if death has no cost.” She finished in flawless Trigedasleng.
“Understood. I will inform the clan leaders that your prowess in battle is not something you want celebrated.”
“My prowess as a murderer is not something I want celebrated.” Clarke corrected.
“Of course,” Lexa replied. “Is there anything else?”
“Yes. My third condition is we go into this as equals.”
“That was already my intention, Clarke.” Lexa started but shut her mouth when Clarke shook her head gently.
“You’re being dishonest, Lexa. To me and to yourself. You’re telling yourself you want me to support you and stand by your side, but I can tell you just want me to stand quietly, nod my head, and tell everyone I agree with everything the mighty Heda says.”
Lexa felt her rage bubble up at the accusation, but as she considered the blonde’s words, she knew them to be true. She came looking for the Skai Prisa, to have the hero of her people follow her unquestioningly first, and for Clarke to help her lead second. Her cheeks burned with shame as Clarke’s heated words from earlier started truly sinking in.
“So what is it you propose?” Lexa asked.
“If I’m going into this lion’s den, it’s going to be beside you, not crawling behind you.” Clarke replied softly. “That means talking to me. Sharing your thoughts on whatever happens in there, listening to my thoughts and taking them into account before making a final decision. I’m aware of the fact that you are Heda, and any decisions that don’t pertain to what you’ve asked me to help with are yours to handle –though I would like it if you still talked to me, if for no other reason than building trust.”
“People will not take kindly to me having you as an equal,” Lexa countered. “They will accuse me of being weak and think that you are the one manipulating me.”
“That’s not my problem.” Clarke said heatedly. She paused and took a deep breath before continuing in a calmer manner. “If it helps, you can call me an advisor or something, and in public make it look like you have the final say, but, if it even has the slightest connection to what I’m there for, we decide together. You’ll just have to figure out how to make it work.”
Lexa sighed. The sky girl was certainly making her life difficult, and yet she couldn’t help the slight giddiness she felt at being able to work with Clarke again, and maybe, start work on repairing some of the damage she had done.
“Alright,” she agreed. “You have my word that I request your partnership, not service, in leading the clans and hopefully keeping the peace.”
“Mochof, Heda.” Clarke replied.
“Pro. Is there anything else?”
“Just one thing, and this is for you Lexa not the Commander.”
“Go on.” Lexa prompted.
“I want you to be completely honest with me from now on. No lying, no manipulating, no half-truths, no going behind my back. We’re no longer the leaders of two peoples working together toward common goal. I’m here in the interest of maintaining peace and keeping my people safe; that includes Sky People and Trigedakru. Our goals are completely the same this time and to distrust and betray me is to do the same to your people. I’m giving you a second chance to prove you’re someone I can trust and rely on, don’t make me regret it.”
“I understand.” Lexa said sincerely. “From this point onward, I will endeavor to be completely honest with you. I will not take this second chance for granted. Now, if that is all, I bid you a good day, Fisa Klark, and will stop by your house tomorrow to meet you before the meeting.”
“Thank you, Heda,” Clarke responded before turning toward the market and making her way through the crowded stalls.
Lexa smiled softly as she watched the blonde walk away. Somehow, Clarke had found it in herself to, maybe not trust, but come to an understanding with the Commander. Her smile grew slightly when the blonde turned around once more and called out to her.
“Oh, and Lexa, I still don’t hate you!” She called out before turning back strolling with her big black bear down the street.
Lexa was only vaguely aware of the incredulous looks people were giving their Heda and Skai Prisa, as she strolled back to her own quarters with a light smile on her face.
The people were right. Fisa Klark the Skai Prisa more than earned her reputation.