Chapter 6
“Damn, Kara,” her sister comments when she sends the boxing bag rocketing backwards, even with the Kryptonite filters on higher than usual. “Warmed up? Ready to spar?”
Kara grins a cocky grin and bounces on the balls of her toes. She has so much aggression building up inside her, burning in her chest and concentrating itself in her tense, steel-cord wrists and hands and of course whatever she punches will break before she does but sometimes, infrequently, she thinks about fire and about her own bones shattering in a pulse of energy and it makes her hit harder and for longer.
Today, she isn’t quite at that point. Confusion and hurt and pain still twists up inside of her and it practically begs to be let out in violence so she slams her fist into the bag one last time and winces when a bit of the sand begins to dribble out of a ripped seam.
“Sorry.”
“We really don’t have the budget you think we do,” her sister comments, stepping up by her side. “Bad day at work?”
“Something like that.”
Alex turns to look at her, dark eyes full of concern. “Kara, if you need someone to talk to…”
“I know. But for now, I just really want to punch things. And I broke the bag.”
“So you are ready to spar then,” Alex says with a little grin and Kara nods and follows her into their sparring room, hops up onto the platform. Alex narrows her eyes and pushes the filters up higher, until Kara feels the sickness and the fatigue barely set in, and Kara grits her teeth and lifts up her arms. She can still fight, she can still stay on her feet, but this will force her to be smarter. It’s a bit of a dick move and Alex does it when she thinks that Kara is getting ahead of herself—too angry, too confident—and wants to prove that with enough strength and the right opponent, she can still be taken down.
Still be killed.
As if Kara needs the reminder. She can still vividly feel her own uncles hand around her throat, lifting her up into the sky, and forgetting all of her training when fear took over and she throws the memory aside when Alex whips out the first punch because dwelling on it isn’t going to help.
“Good, Kara.” She nods. Shakes her hands out. Lifts them up to her face. “Good. Again.” Then Alex is flat on her back. She stands again, and nods. “Again.” This time, Kara goes down and Alex hauls her back up to her feet. She needs the moment to catch her breath but she ignores the feeling and lashes out for Alex’s feet, taking advantage. “Again.”
Kara goes down again, cheek smarting, and she spits out mostly saliva but a little blood. Alex wavers but, catching the look in Kara’s eyes, shakes her head. “Keep your guard up.” And so it goes, for an hour, and Kara pushes herself harder and harder and Alex is mostly proud, because Kara isn’t hesitating anymore when she goes for that winning strike, but at the same time she can’t ignore that niggling fear because Kara has always hesitated before.
She doesn’t know what the change means.
She remembers the way Kara had wavered in front of James Olsen and had finally, barely, relented to his argument to let Maxwell Lord out. Kara is changing and the loss of her aunt and everything that’s going on with her boss is changing her more and Alex can protect Supergirl but for once she is at a loss at how to protect her sister.
“Winn called me,” she says and she takes advantage of the way Kara freezes, confused. She kicks her legs out from underneath her and drops so her knee is pressed to Kara’s chest, just under her throat and taps her knuckles lightly against her cheek. “Again.”
“He called you?”
“He said that Carter wants to interview you. Kara you.”
“I’m always Kara.”
Alex rolls her eyes. “You know what I mean.”
Kara lifts her hands preparing to fight again and then shakes her head. Her hands drop. “I’m done. I have to go.”
“It’s a terrible idea. You gave him an interview as Supergirl, you’ve done your part. More than.”
“Alex,” Kara snorts, “Come on. It’s a school essay. And Carter is, like, the best kid in the world. He deserves the help. I’m happy to help.”
“I know you are. And that’s admirable. If you’re doing it for him.”
“What?”
“Tell me that you’re doing this for him. Tell me that you’re doing this only because of Carter and not because you want to get back into Cat Grant’s good books because Kara, Kara look at me,” she says when Kara rolls her eyes and turns away. She takes Kara’s wrist in her hand and squeezes gently. “She’s not worth it.” Kara swallows hard and avoids looking at Alex because she thinks a lot of things about Cat Grant but she doesn’t agree with that. “She hurt you when you broke up with Adam, she’s ruined what CatCo does for you—”
“That’s a little bit Hank’s fault, actually,” Kara tells Alex and the anger that roils up inside her, remembering his face when he had come to her and said those words like he expected her to understand, I killed her, I’m sorry, I could see no other way, gives her the strength to pull out of her sister’s hold.
“Kara,”
“No, look Alex, I get it. Cat isn’t the nicest person in the world. But she isn’t a villain and even after everything, I still respect her. Personal relati—“ Kara stops. “She might not let anyone get close, but she’s still doing amazing things and I still want to work for her. That's why I started there in the first place, remember? I wanted to change the world.” Alex huffs a little fond laugh and nods. Her eyes remain wary, worried. “Besides, she won’t even be there tonight. I’m going to talk to Carter and then I’m going to leave.”
“This interview isn’t a good idea,” Alex warns. “You have to be careful.”
“Please, I remember every word I’ve ever said to him. It’ll be fine.”
“Alright.” Alex rubs at her forehead, nods. “Alright. I just don’t want you to slip up and get hurt, Kara.”
Kara softens a little. Her shoulders relax and open from their tense stance and her lips quirk up. This is the sister that Kara knows—Alex has been weird and distant lately and Kara doesn’t understand, though she thinks it must be because of guilt, because she was there when Astra died, but she has to know that Kara doesn’t blame her for that. Alex’s eyes are warm and worried and her hands are protective and gentle like they always have been, even though the older girl knows that Kara is invulnerable she has always been gentle. When those hands and arms curl around her shoulders and bring her into a surprisingly desperate hug, Kara sinks into her and brings her hands up to return the gesture.
Other than the sparring, this is why she can tolerate the Kryptonite. She can hug Alex back firmly and not be afraid of breaking her.
“You’re the best person I know,” Alex murmurs to her. “Some people—“ The Cat Grant isn’t said but, by Rao, it’s heavily implied, and though Kara still disagrees, Alex’s tangible disapproval makes her grin a little, “—aren’t worth what you give them.”
“Okay,” Kara says. Not because she agrees, but because it’s almost seven and she had promised Carter.
Alex must know she’s lost this round because she ends their hug and steps back and nods. “I guess I’ll watch the Wire without you.”
“Don’t you dare, Alex!”
//
She’s out of her training clothes and into her own—just a pair of jeans, a shirt, and her runners because it’s not work so she doesn’t have to dress up and she’d learned while she was babysitting Carter that he was energetic right up until his bedtime, when he would fall face first into his pillow—and she uses a few bursts of super speed to get to the building on time and have time to pick up a pizza on the way. Okay, two. But she finishes the first one before she arrives so she won’t stuff herself silly in front of Carter.
See, she tells Alex in her head. I’m being careful. I'm not going to be suspicious. It'll be fine.
She texts Carter that she’s down stairs and he gets the doorman to let her in and she’s surprised to see that he’s taken the elevator down to greet her.
“Hey, Kara.” He doesn’t quite meet her eyes but she gives him a smile anyway and joins him in the elevator. His reluctance for small talk doesn’t mean anything—he came down to greet her, she knows that he’s excited to see her again.
There’s a happy little buzz in her chest and her smile pushes up a little further, a little brighter, and Kara realises that she’s happy. Really happy to get to spend time with him. He’s funny and smart and fun and she’s looking forward to hopefully turning the interview into more of a gossip session. He had mentioned a few names of kids at school last time and she wonders if he had managed to befriend any of them.
“I brought pizza," she says needlessly when Carter opens the door to the apartment. She’s holding the box in her hands—Carter has obviously seen it, and smelled it—and she lifts her eyebrows when he rolls his eyes.
“Can we sit in the kitchen?” he asks. He shoves his hands into his pockets—he’s wearing shorts, Kara notices, and she smiles a little because he looks very young with slightly messy hair and little knobbly knees and a soft looking shirt with SUPERBOY emblazoned across the chest.
“Sure.” Kara places the box on the island and drags out two stools from underneath the breakfast bar. “I eat here in my apartment all the time,” she confesses. “And on the couch.”
Carter spares a wide-eyed glance at the obscenely expensive couch in their living room. “We could never,” he whispers, and Kara purses her lips.
“Well…”
“Kara, no,” he laughs, and then he laughs again, a little shocked, when she picks up her plate and sits cross legged on the couch. “I’ve sat on that thing four times in my life,” he hisses.
Kara shrugs. “You’re not missing out. It’s not very comfortable.” She remembers abruptly that this isn’t just an expensive couch—this is Cat Grant’s expensive couch, in Cat Grant’s home. Cat Grant, her boss. And she stands as smoothly as she is able, hoping her clumsiness won’t assert itself.
“Come sit in here,” he urges, and breathes out a sigh of relief when she returns to the kitchen and sits with him there. “I’m glad you didn’t ruin it.”
“I’m not that clumsy.”
He narrows his eyes—she’d had a few close calls when they had been having their nerf gun battle and she concedes his point with a rueful twist to her lips and silence. He moves on. “We don’t really use that room anyway. It’s for entertaining. Only Katherine sits there.” She doesn’t miss that he calls her Katherine instead of grandma, or even grandmother. “Anyway, do you want to see our fun zone?” he asks.
“I saw it last time. The massive beanbag is yours, right?”
He nods and grins, obviously pleased that she remembered. “Mom bought it for me.”
“It’s really cool. I’ve been looking for one on eBay for my apartment but,” Kara shrugs. “I haven’t found one yet.”
“I’ll ask mom where she found it,” Carter promises right before he starts to eat. “How was the rest of your day?” he asks, words almost incoherent as they slip out around the pizza in his mouth.
“Hey, no talking with your mouth full,” Kara chastises. A cheeky look comes into his eyes and he shrugs easily, opening his mouth to show her the mashed up remains, making her grimace. “Ew, Carter.”
They talk—Kara about work, Carter about school, and she gives him a disapproving look when he confesses that he hadn't finished his homework.
"It's Friday, Kara, I can do it over the weekend." She waits and he sighs. "I promise I will finish it, okay?" That's good enough for her so they move on.
Theyfight over the last piece of pizza—Kara lets him have it, since she’d eaten a whole other pizza before arriving—and Carter eats it standing up, hand held out to stop Kara from trying to take it from him. She doesn’t even try, just laughs as he skirts around the island to keep her a safe distance away when she packs up their plates to clean.
“I’m not going to take your food,” she laughs. “It’s safe, Carter.”
“I saw you ogling it.”
“I wasn’t ogling,” she blusters. “If anything, you were ogling. Do you need to get a room?”
“Nice come back. Where did you learn that one, grade school?”
“Har har.” She hasn’t got a come back so she just says, “You’ve got sauce all over your face, by the way. It’s hard to take you seriously.” He shrugs and wipes at the streak with his sleeve and Kara hides a wince. She’s pretty sure that Cat wouldn’t like anything that has happened so far—eating in the kitchen, eating pizza in the kitchen, getting sauce on Carter’s clothes—but Cat isn’t here so Kara makes herself relax. It’s easy, with him. She loves him, she remembers vividly when he joins her at the sink and takes the washed and dried plates to put away. It starts in a small spot behind her sternum and spreads, warm, to fill her and she hums happily.
“Kara?” He’s looking at her with a small frown. Not annoyed, just curious. “Are you alright?”
“Yeah, why?”
“I don’t know. You just look…weird.”
“Thanks, kid,” she laughs. “I’m happy. This,” she shrugs, nods at him, “this is nice.” A blush takes over his face all in a rush and he ducks his head low. “Anyway, ready to get destroyed at Wii Sports?”
“Not unless you suddenly gained the ability to actually use the remote instead of flail wildly.”
“Oh, you’re on, kid.”
//
He brings up the topic of the interview later, when they’re laying on Carter’s enormous beanbag. She can’t even see him, the fabric has pushed up between them. She could reach him if she had to, but she can hear his elevated heart rate—they had flopped down a moment ago, after Carter had trounced her for the ninth time at Wii Archery—and he blows a curl of hair out of his eyes.
“What’s your favourite food?” he asks her and she grins.
“Chinese,” she admits after a moment. She has to run quickly through everything that she said to him as Supergirl but that’s not giving away anything. “Pot stickers,” she groans at the thought. “Yum.”
“We literally just ate.”
“Yum.”
Carter laughs and sits up a little before slamming down into the beanbag to make her pop right up and out of it. He laughs again, louder this time and he looks surprised by that, and Kara drops very carefully back down next to him again. She really doesn’t want to send him flying out the window. She would catch him but she thinks Alex wouldn’t like that. Or Cat.
“Alright, next. What’s your favourite holiday?”
She pauses again but he’d never touched on this with Supergirl so, again, it was safe to answer. “Thanksgiving.” His breath hitches and with a flick of her eyes—super vision enabled—she sees him hunch a little miserably in place. “Carter?”
“Even though you’re adopted?” It’s not what he wanted to say, but Kara is pretty sure that if she answers, she can ask him a question.
“Your mom told you that?” She hears the polystyrene balls shift when he nods and wonders why Cat would have told him that. Why on earth Cat would have talked about her at all. “I was fostered, actually. And yes. They’re my family. We don’t get to spend a lot of time together, Eliza lives kind of far away and me and my sister,”
“Sister?”
“Alex,” Kara tells him, and even she can hear the love and, yes, maybe even reverence in her name. “She’s older.”
“Cool. I’ve always wanted a sibling. Maybe we can adopt one.”
Kara laughs. “Maybe that’s something you should ask your mom about. It’s not a quick decision. Anyway, we get together and we have food and play games and it’s normally really nice.”
“Normally?”
“Well. This year your mom got attacked by Leslie,” Kara reminds him, and he hums thoughtfully. “And Eliza had a fight with my sister but that was weirdly a good thing? I don’t know. They had some stuff they needed to talk about.”
“Why do you call her Eliza?”
“Why didn’t you have a good Thanksgiving?” she shoots back.
Carter shifts around for a full minute before he tells her, very quietly, “My dad and I were supposed to go to my grandparents place for dinner.” She can hear the way his heart starts beating faster, hears the faintest sniffle, the too fast blinking of his eyes. She can hear the tremble in his voice he tries hard to conquer and her heart aches for him. She reaches across the distance and takes his hand. “He went into work. He promised he would be back in time so that we could go but,”
“He wasn’t,” Kara says when Carter stops. It isn’t a question. She’s been around long enough to know that his dad has done this before, too many times.
“Yeah.”
“Did you tell your mom?”
“No. She gets so mad and hurt and they yell and fight even more than usual and I hate it.” Kara feels him move and he swipes a hand over his cheek and holds tighter onto her hand. “Why do you call her Eliza?” he says again.
“Because I remember my mom.” Kara didn’t think she would say that—she didn’t even think of the answer she would give him and she pauses for a really long time sifting through what she said about Krypton and about her mother to make sure that it isn’t too similar.
Her hesitation must get to Carter because he says, “You know, Mom isn’t here. You don’t have to think about what you’re going to say. I’m thirteen, I’m basically an adult.” She swallows down her laugh at that—he’s so young, sweet and kind and honest and young and the pronouncement just feels funny to her. “Just…tell me the truth. If you want to. I just…I think we’re kind of,” he hesitates, “friends now. Aren’t we?”
“Yeah.” Kara beams up at the ceiling and she’s glad Carter isn’t looking at her because she’s floating a good centimetre off the beanbag. “We are. We totally are, Carter.”
“Cool.”
Warmth floods her chest when he says that. It holds the same tone, the same delight, as when he had talked about Supergirl’s powers, about Supergirl, and she isn’t Supergirl to him but he clearly thinks she’s super in some way. And as Kara.
No one thinks that about her other than Alex and Winn and Eliza and that’s just, it’s really great.
It’s easier to talk to him after that, and she tells him more about her sister and about being fostered, about being in a new home and in a new town and having to learn a new language and that was a slip up but he just turns to her with an interested look and she tells him that she used to live in Canada, and had spoken mainly French with her parents, because she does know French and she did spend some time in Canada after college. She talks to him about what a panic attack feels like and he nods solemnly and looks down at his hands when she mentions the overwhelming sensations and the contrasting loneliness, like nothing can get through to her through the swirl of too much, and she scoots over a little on the beanbag and lets go of his hand so she can wrap her arm around his shoulder and he leans in.
He tells her about his parents divorce, and about school and the other projects he’s working on, and about his mom. A lot about his mom, about what they do together on the weekends and about how much fun they have, and Kara gets the unsubtle pointed conversation and can’t bear to tell him that she knows Cat is a good person but it’s Cat who has stopped them from being friends. So she just listens and he moves on—he has made a friend at his school, a girl his age who is kind and smart and really quiet, “kind of like me, and she has no friends either so we get along really well” and she’s glad of that.
It’s nearing nine-thirty when Kara’s stomach grumbles and Carter looks horrified.
“You ate half that pizza, Kara. How can you still be hungry?”
She shrugs. “Do you want me to get dessert?”
“We don’t have anything here, mom says it tempts her too much. And I had a small cavity at my last dentist appointment,” Carter says and rolls his eyes. He does that a lot, and Kara knows it’s because he’s comfortable with her, and she nudges him just hard enough to roll him off the beanbag.
“Come on, kid. Get the bowls out, I’ll pop down and get something from the store.”
“There’s a bodega half a block east,” he says. And then, “I like chocolate!”
//
The door is open when she returns and Kara’s heart skips a beat and she uses a burst of speed to make it to the door—what if Carter is hurt, what if they're being robbed, what if—but it’s just Cat, standing just inside the doorway. She hasn’t noticed her yet, and by luck, she didn’t notice the inhuman speed Kara had used.
She’s taking off her coat and before she can think about her actions, Kara puts the chocolate ice-cream carton down on the hallway table and steps forward to help Cat. Her fingers brush ever so lightly against Cat’s hair when she grips the collar of the coat lightly, and the woman freezes in place.
Kara copies her, her heart now beating twice as fast and she’s sure that her expression echoes her confusion and panic so she wipes it clean and swallows it down. She can’t quite manage the mask she’s been wearing in the office, that politely distant one, by the time Cat has shrugged out of her coat and stepped away. Instead of trying, she avoids looking at Cat altogether. She folds the coat over her forearm and turns away to open the door to the closet. Disappearing into it—honestly, a hallway closet the size of her bathroom at home isn’t necessary—she takes a moment to centre herself, and ghosts her hand fondly over the second coat in there, dark blue and obviously Carter’s.
When she steps out, Cat is right there.
A moment to centre herself does nothing when it's Cat Grant you're facing.
Kara gulps and steps back. Only, instead of stepping back into the closet, the door has closed and she is pressed flat against the wood. She wants to look away—wants to fumble for the door handle and disappear—because Cat Grant is looking at her.
No. Not looking. Staring at her. Examining her. From head to toe and head to toe again and then she fixes on Kara’s eyes and she hasn’t said a word yet and Kara can’t smell the faintest hint of alcohol so what exactly is happening and, more importantly, why?
Kara can only stand there, absolutely still. She feels pinned by that intent stare and suddenly breathless and she can only imagine what Cat sees. Breath coming too fast, glasses a little wonky probably, casual clothes and, Rao, probably a grease stain from the pizza. She would be that unlucky. She's boring, uncouth Kara Danvers, so why is Cat still staring at her?
She doesn’t know what is happening but Cat is moving closer. Fingers brush electric over Kara’s wrist and Kara isn’t breathing but her breath still hitches at the touch. Her thoughts are getting hazy—all she can think about are Cat’s lovely, lovely eyes looking right into hers.
“Everything is fine!” Carter yells out, following a crash that sends Kara jumping a clean foot into the air. Cat, rather more calmly, takes one step back and away from her assistant. “It’s fine! Nothing is broken!”
“It had better not be,” Cat says, and there’s a pause and then Carter is standing at the end of the hall.
“Mom! You’re home early.” He hugs her around the waist and she leans down to kiss the top of his head. “Kara, did you get it?”
“Absolutely, kid. You think I’d come back empty handed?” She’s relieved that her voice doesn’t shake—she feels shaken, and confused, and warm, and her heart hasn’t quite settled—and she slips back to the hall table to pick up her prize. “Chocolate double choc chip extraordinaire. Exactly what the doctor ordered, right?”
She laughs when Carter’s eyes light up.
“It’s exactly what the dentist forbade,” Cat says in a voice heavy with disapproval, and yet she takes down three bowls from the cupboard and just raises an eyebrow when Kara grins.
There’s a faint ping in her ear and, on the counter, Kara’s phone buzzes. She snatches it up maybe a little too fast—Cat has left down a hallway Kara knows leads to the Grant’s bedrooms and the two (two!) guest rooms, so she doesn’t see it, but Kara doesn’t have time to check if Carter has because she’s reading the message lightning fast.
HQ. PROBLEM. ASAP.
“I am so sorry,” she says, pushing the ice cream reluctantly down the counter toward Carter. He pops the lid of it and drives his spoon right in. “I have to go. My sister,” she tells him and holds up her phone, and he nods.
“Is she okay?”
“She can more than hold her own,” Kara assures him quickly. “I’m sure everything is fine, but I need to check.”
“And it can’t hurt to have a little help from Supergirl.”
Kara halts. A garbled little noise raises out of her throat and she coughs. Great. Not suspicious at all. “What, uh, what are you talking about Carter?” She glances down at her phone—Alex has messaged her again. ASAP MEANS ASAP. She has to leave. Like, now. But this is important too.
“We can talk about it later,” Carter shrugs. “You should go if your sister needs you.”
“I—“
“I won’t talk to mom about it.” Carter continues to scoop his ice-cream into his bowl and he’s acting like he hasn’t got this enormous secret in his hands—he’s acting like the most powerful girl in the world isn’t right next to him, doesn’t have the power to snatch him up and, and she can’t even finish that thought, which is probably why Carter isn’t scared at all.
Kara is torn. By Rao, she needs to fix this—Alex will kill her if she finds out—but she needs to get to the DEO headquarters now and Kara shake her head. Fuck it, she’ll get Hank to visit him tomorrow and come along for the ride. She might not be able to look at Hank at the moment and the thought of him pretending to be her—he killed her aunt—makes her feel sick to her stomach, it would be worth it because this isn’t a secret that Carter can have. Not that she doesn’t trust him, but the thought of him in danger terrifies her.
“Carter,” she laughs, and reaches up to touch her glasses, “I’m not,”
“Your sister is calling again. It’s probably important.” He looks up finally and gives her a really small smile and Kara can see that he’s not going to budge on this front and she doesn’t have time to talk him out of it so she just shakes her head.
“I have to go. Say bye to your mom for me. And I’m not Supergirl, Carter.”
“Whatever you say!” he calls after her, and she takes the stairs twelve at a time all the way down the building and runs down seven streets until she’s far enough away to push up and into the sky.
//
It’s not an enemy alien or any enemy at all that is attacking the DEO headquarters.
It’s Lucy Lane in civilian dress and she’s obviously been locked in one of the holding rooms—bulletproof and sound proof—and when Supergirl appears, she glares at her.
“Oh god. Her too?” are the first words out of Kara’s mouth.
“Too?” Alex shoots her a sharp look. Kara conjures up the weakest smile of her life and Alex’s glare could be weaponised. Should be. “Kara, god dammit, what did you do?”
“Nothing! Carter is just, he’s really smart and apparently super intuitive and he might…be a little suspicious. That’s all.”
“That’s all?” Alex repeats. “That’s more than enough—I told you to be careful. Dammit!” Alex snaps and turns sharply away. Kara recoils. She tries to hide the sharp hurt at Alex’s anger, because Lucy is watching them closely and because Alex turns around again to face her and her shoulders drop and her face softens, and she says, resigned, “Kara.”
But Kara doesn’t want to hear about how she’s ruining everything so she takes a step back and shakes her head. “No, yeah, I’m sorry. You’re right. I’ll deal with it. But I,” her eyes slide over to Lucy. “I should go talk with Lucy. I need to fix that. It’s hurting James and me and I really like Lucy, so,”
“It’s not about liking her. Do you trust her with your identity? Your whole life?”
“I do.”
“Fine.” Alex purses her lips. “Fine, be irresponsible with your identity. You know what, Kara?” Alex raises her open hands, surrendering. “I can protect you if you let me, but I am not going to help you fuck up your life by telling half of National City who you are. You do that by yourself, alright”
“Maybe if you trusted people other than murderers, you would realise that I am making a life for myself, not ruining one.”
Alex’s jaw works furiously for one incredibly long, tense moment. Then, she jerks her chin to where Lucy is now pacing in her glass box. “Go, then.”
In full Supergirl regalia, Kara slips into the room. “Miss Lane,” she greets the other woman quietly. Lucy glares.
“It’s Major.”
“I was informed that you had resigned your commission. I’m sorry.”
Lucy falters at her mild tone and then fires right back up again. “What’s your game here, alien?”
Kara frowns. “Game?” Then, a little hurt and trying hard not to be, because Lucy had said it with something close to revulsion, “Alien?”
Lucy has the decency to look ashamed and she lifts her hands to her face to cover her eyes and breathes out a long sigh. “I’m sorry. I’m sorry, you don’t deserve that. You saved my life from Red Tornado.”
“Yes. But I would do that for anyone, Lucy.” Kara hesitates. “Miss Lane.”
“Supergirl.” Lucy pulls her hands away and leans back against the bench that runs the length of the wall. She smiles a little, eyes sad, face set. “You have to go and be better than everyone else, don’t you? You make it really hard to be angry with you.”
Kara leans against the wall on her side of the room. Arms crossed. “I know why you’re here,” she says. She’s so tired, she just wants this to be over. “James spoke with me.”
Lucy’s eyes cut to the side of the room when she scoffs. “Of course he did.” She turns away and braces herself against the silver bench. Kara can read the lines of anger that hold her stiff, but the worry and the hurt are just as obvious.
“Lucy,” Kara says, more gently. “There is nothing between me and James. Nothing. I don’t know the extend of his relationship with my cousin, but I can promise you that James and I are colleagues and friends. Nothing more.”
“Did you want more?”
Kara bites down on the inside of her bottom lip. It’s better to be honest, she decides. “I…for a while.” Lucy nods. “He’s very kind and handsome and I liked him.”
“What changed?”
Lucy turns back to face her and, when Kara smiles sweetly, she looks surprised. “He ran toward a bomb,” Kara tells her gently. “For the woman he loves. And I realises that he makes a wonderful friend and can to realise that he loves you, very much.” After a moment, Kara continues. “Lucy,” and she gulps because she can fly but telling people who she is, who she really is, makes her feel like she can’t fly, like she’s free falling and the earth is rushing up to meet her far too quickly. “He asked me if he could tell you the truth.”
“The truth?”
“About us. About who we are. I told him no.” Kara grips the edge of her cape and breathes in, tries to take courage from the gift her cousin had sent her. The fabric is soft—Kryptonian soft—beneath her fingers and she rubs her thumb over it tenderly. “This is my truth. I should be the one to tell you. I asked him to keep it a secret and that wasn’t fair of me.” She squeezes her eyes shut tight. “Lucy, I have to know that I can trust you with this. Not only for me and my family, but because I’m worried for your safety.”
“I was in the army, Supergirl. I can keep a secret.”
“Can you?” Kara opens her eyes and lets her mask fall, lets every ounce of the worry she feels pour out of her for a second. “I don’t want anything to happen to you, Lucy.”
“Don’t want your hard work to be ruined?”
“I don’t want to lose another friend."
“…Friend?” Lucy looks closely at her and the beginnings, the very faint start of understanding glimmers in her eyes.
Seeing it, Kara turns away. She ties up her hair and says, as she turns back, “You’ll have to imagine the glasses. I must have left them outside.”
“Kara,” Lucy breathes. She takes a step forward, eyes flicking over her face and then down to the S and back up to her eyes and hair and finally she says, “Oh no. I was so mean about Supergirl at our game night.”