Chapter 4
Lexa woke to soft murmuring next to her, cracking an eye open she seen Clarke sitting up with a phone pressed to her ear and Lexa could see Clarke struggling to keep the emotion from her face. Lexa rolled over until her head was in Clarke's lap and reached up to bring the hand holding Clarke's necklace down to lace between hers
"You okay?" Lexa whispered when Clarke put the phone down
"His phone's been deactivated." Clarke said, a frown on her face as she concentrated on their hands
"I'm sorry, Clarke."
"He's been dead less than forty-eight hours and she's already disconnected his phone."
"Maybe it's just flat." Lexa tried weakly
"It's whatever though. It's fine. I'm fine." Clarke sniffed and ran one hand through Lexa's hair, "Can we go somewhere?"
"It's dark out, Clarke."
"Yeah, I know. I just… I need to do something, go somewhere. Anywhere." Clarke sighed
"You better hope your trainings boosted your stamina, Cadet." Lexa stood up, pulling Clarke with her before quickly getting a full backpack from her closet
"You going to tell me where we're going?"
"Nope."
"How long is this going to take?"
"If you can keep up, just a little over an hour."
"We've been walking through this damn forest for so long the suns rising, did you get us lost?" Clarke complained, stomping through the forest
"I know exactly where we're going, don't worry." Lexa said, offering Clarke her hand to step over a log
"How much longer?" Clarke grumbled, not letting go of Lexa's hand but twining her fingers through Lexa's
"About ten minutes."
"Ugh." Clarke huffed, "I have twigs in my hair, my knees still hurt from falling over-"
"I still don't know how you managed to fall over. There was nothing there. Nothing."
"-Shut up, Leksa- and I'm hungry. Did you bring snacks?"
"Nah, but I have my knife and I hear there's plenty of deer in this forest."
Lexa was pulled to a sudden stop by Clarke who had a disgusted look on her face
"Oh come on, I'm kidding." Lexa said, pulling Clarke back into step with her
"You have a sick sense of humour. Haven't you seen Bambi? It's not okay to joke about things like that."
"Haven't seen it." Lexa said only to pulled to a rough stop again, "Okay, you need to stop that before it becomes a habit."
"What do you mean you haven't watched Bambi?"
"I grew up with a military people. You think they're going to sit around and watch weird talking animal movies?" Lexa asked
"What did you watch then?"
"War documentaries, stuff like that."
"We're going to fix that when we get ba- Oh my god, we have to walk all the way back again." Clarke groaned
"Be quiet, we're here." Lexa pulled Clarke out of the forest to a small cliffs edge
"If you want to push me off a cliff after that fucking hike that is just bad form." Clarke said, "Although the thought of walking back makes me not mind that much."
Lexa ignored her in favour of crouching down in front of her backpack to pull out a small picnic blanket out to set on floor with a couple bottles of water
"You got food in there?" Clarke asked, peeking inside the backpack
"Crackers, dried fruit, trail mix, and canned chicken." Lexa said, pulling the items out as she said them
"Canned chicken?"
"It tastes better than it looks and sounds, trust me." Lexa sat on the blanket with a pack of trail mix, "Hurry up or you're going to miss it."
"Miss what?" Clarke asked, sitting next to Lexa
"That." Lexa pointed at the sunrise, red and orange slowly melting into purple and blue
"Whoa."
"Lexa?" Clarke asked, turning to look at Lexa who had fallen asleep, "Oh."
"I'm awake, Clarke, just very sleepy." Lexa murmured, not opening her eyes
"Why are you being so nice to me?"
"I'm your friend."
"Yeah, but why? You didn't need to help me with the Octavia thing, you didn't need to help bail me out with Bellamy, you keep… Saving me for no reason."
"I like you." Lexa cracked one eye open to look at Clarke, "You don't treat me like the Heda, you treat me like a person. I like you."
"What do you mean?"
"The other captains are either scared of me or are jealous because I've managed to reach a rank no one else has. The cadets are scared of me because of my rank and because of my training methods. No one cares about what I'm really like, who I really am because all I'll ever be is the hard ass bitch who cares about nothing but the academy."
"How did you become a Commander?" Clarke asked
"You've heard of reapers, yes?" Lexa waited for Clarke to answer, "Hasn't Bellamy told you about them? I need to speak to him. Reapers are… They're not human. Well they are but their minds are extremely warped from a synthetic drug called The Red, turns them into cannibals with the power of three men."
"Why don't the authorities do anything about them?" Clarke asked
"They don't have the training and it's out of their control. The special forces usually take care of them. So anyway, about four years ago a group of them attacked the campus. Laid waste to it. I remember sneaking away from my captain, I don't know why but I felt like I needed to get to Indra. When I got to her office there were two of them in there and she was on the floor, bleeding. I don't know what happened but the next thing I know the reapers are dead, I'm half way dead and Indra hasn't moved. So I manage to get Indra to the medic and a week later, I'm the first student Commander." Lexa finished her story, eyes still closed "I still have scars."
"Can I see?" Clarke asked before she could stop herself, "I'm so-"
"Don't be." Lexa said, lifting her shirt up to reveal three thick, white scars running across her abdomen
"Holy shit." Clarke reached out to run her fingers over the scars, "Do they hurt?"
"Not anymore." Lexa opened her eyes to find Clarke closer than expected
"Don't worry, they're hardly noticeable with the whole… Abs situation." Clarke said, eyes not lifting from Lexa's stomach where her hand was splayed out
Lexa closed her eyes again only to feel Clarke's forehead press against her own and Clarke's nose rub against hers
"What are you doing?" Lexa whispered, voice cracking slightly
"I'm going to kiss you." Clarke replied, pressing her lips against Lexa's softly, slowly deepening the kiss before Lexa suddenly pulled away
"Not like this." Lexa shook her head, "Not when you're hurting."
"I want this." Clarke argued
"You want to forget." Lexa shook her head, "I won't take advantage of you like that, Clarke."
"I want you." Clarke tried again even though she knew rationally that Lexa was right
"Get some sleep, Clarke, we have a long walk back."
"Where have you two been?" Indra asked between clenched teeth when Lexa and Clarke entered Lexa's room
"Some place quiet." Lexa answered
"Abby Griffin has been on the phone all day trying to find her daughter and you tell me you took her some place quiet?" Indra seethed
"It's not her faul-" Clarke started to defend Lexa to be silenced by a glare from Indra
"Give your mother a call." Indra said before stepping out of the small dorm
"Can I- "Clarke didn't manage to finish her question before Lexa handed her phone over
"Hey mum? Yeah it's me. I'm using a friend's phone, mine -What? Yeah, I'm good – my phones flat. What did you want? Why would I get angry, what did you do?" Lexa watched as Clarke's face slowly became stormy with anger, "What the fuck do you mean? No, I won't watch my fucking language. I swear to god, if this isn't some kind of sick joke I will never forgive you. I'm over- I'm over reacting?"
Lexa watched as Clarke started pacing while clenching the fist that wasn't holding her phone
"No. No." Clarke shook her head, stopping in front of Lexa "Don't you dare try to speak to me ever again because I can promise that you won't like the response you get. You're dead to me."
"You, uh, you okay?" Lexa asked hesitantly
"I need one of two things from you right now and neither of them is to talk." Clarke said lowly
"Okay?"
"I need you to either make me forget my own fucking name in bed or I need you to take me down to the fucking gym and kick my ass." Clarke said between clenched teeth, "It's up to you."
"By kick your ass-" Lexa started
"I mean you're going to show me the way you train your squadron in hand to hand combat." Clarke interrupted
"I'll go get my hand wraps." Lexa said after a minute of silence
"I don't know about this, Clarke." Lexa said uneasily as she stood in front of Clarke in her work out gear and hand wraps, "I don't want to hurt you."
"If you're not going to fuck me or fight me I will find someone else to do it, Leksa." Clarke threatened
"Okay, okay. Just tell me if I hurt you, okay? Don't ignore it just because you're mad."
"Okay, whatever." Clarke huffed before lunging at Lexa who quickly dodged her and pushed Clarke forward, sending her to the ground
"You need to calm down." Lexa said, helping Clarke to her feet "Anger clouds the mind and makes you make rash decisions."
"Also helps in kicking people's asses." Clarke grunted when Lexa caught her fist and kicked her feet out from underneath her
"It makes you predictable." Lexa helped Clarke to her feet again only to slam her back down when Clarke lunged at her again, "Calm down and I will help you."
"Help me what?"
"Kick my ass." Lexa grinned, "Are you calm? Okay, good, always wait for your opponent to attack first so you can try to find a weak spot if they have one."
"How do I do that?" Clarke asked
"Watch their body language. Watch the way they move. Just watch them and memorise it."
"What's your weak spot?"
"Find it for yourself." Lexa said and rushed at Clarke who barely managed to defend herself in time
They continued sparring for longer than either of them realised, Clarke ending up on the mat more times than she'd care to admit and Lexa ending up on the mat once, Clarke not far behind her when Bellamy walked into the gym
"So you can train with the enemy but not your squadron, Princess?" Bellamy asked, folding his arms across his chest
"Bell, don't." Octavia said, putting her hand on his shoulder
"Yes, Bell. Don't." Lexa warned
"No, I want to know why she can train with the mighty Heda and not her own."
"Because the mighty Heda actually shows me how to defend myself, not crawl under barbed wire." Clarke rolled her eyes
"If you are not in training tomorrow morning, I will submit an official complaint to the Commandant. Now get out, I have this space booked."
"Captain Blake." Lexa started, straightening her spine "Cadet Griffin is not required back to any formal or unformal training until next month, orders of Indra herself."
"Who are you tell me what the Commandant orders?" Bellamy seethed
"Your superior." Lexa snapped, "Don't forget who you take orders from, Blake, I can assure you that it will not end pretty."
"You can't-"
"Yes, I can." Lexa interrupted, green eyes boring into black "Do we need to go over this again? I'm sure Indra won't be pleased."
"Just hide behind the Commandant, that's all you're good at." Bellamy snarled
Lexa simply sighed and shook her head before marching towards Bellamy, hitting him in the stomach and bringing her elbow down hard on his back as he bent over in pain, sending him crashing to the floor before kicking him square in the face hard enough to make him flip onto his back
"Is there anyone else who shares Captain Blake's thoughts?" Lexa asked, standing in front of the Skaikru squadron who all remained silent as they watched their Captain slowly get to his knees, his nose pouring with blood "Good. Come, Clarke."
"That was amazing." Clarke gushed, "He's like three times the size of you and you brought him down like it was nothing."
"I'm sorry you had to see that, Clarke."
"I'm not. You're badass." Clarke said, knocking into Lexa
"Do you feel better now?" Lexa asked, changing the subject
"A little." Clarke nodded, "Still furious but I don't feel like punching anything anymore."
"What got you so worked up anyway?"
"Mother decided that I wasn't needed at my dad's funeral, said she thought that it might be too much for me." Clarke said, looking away from Lexa
"That is – Maybe – She might of just – "Lexa struggled to find words
"See? Even you can't see the logic in that." Clarke shook her head, "But whatever, let's talk about how you kicked Bellamy's ass."
"He needed to be taken down a peg." Lexa said, shrugging and opened her dorm door waiting for Clarke to go in before walking in after her "I graduate at the end of this year so I couldn't miss what could have been my last opportunity."
"You graduate this year?" Clarke asked
"Well, yeah." Lexa said, "Sorry, I thought you knew? I did say that the reaper thing happened four years ago."
"You done that in your second year?" Clarke asked, surprise colouring her voice
"How long do you think I've been here for?" Lexa laughed
"From the womb, honestly." Clarke replied
"Just five years." Lexa shrugged
"Wait, how old are you?"
"I'm turning eighteen in a couple months. How old are you?"
"Sixteen."
"You would have thought we'd know each other's ages at this point. On the bright side, you're only here for two more years."
"What are you doing after graduation?" Clarke asked
"Enlist in the army, probably. I mean, that's kinda the whole point of going to this school."
"That's dangerous though, you could die." Clarke said, "Can't you be like, a business women or something?"
"That's actually a good idea, Lexy, you'd look damn fine in a lady suit." A voice from the kitchen said, making Clarke jump
"Shof op, Onya." Lexa groaned
"Disha is yun gada?" Anya asked, leaning against the door frame in a white singlet, red underwear with a bowl of ice cream in one hand and a spoon in the other
"No, leida Onya." Lexa said pointedly
"Shof op, branwada, Ai em choj sanch op." Anya said with a grin, bringing the spoon up to her lips
"Dei is az-crema." Lexa deadpanned, "Gon we."
"Beja, Snacha." Anya scoffed, sitting down next to Clarke
"I asked you not to call me that." Lexa grumbled, switching to English
"Stop doing your war paint like a raccoon and I will. Maybe." Anya said, "Are you going to introduce me?"
"Clarke, this branwada is Anya, my roommate." Lexa said
"Roommate, best friend, light of her life, reason for her being, etcetera." Anya said, grinning at Clarke, "I've heard all about, Skai Prisa."
"I'm so confused."
"I was just asking Lexa here if you were her g- "Anya was cut off by Lexa lunging over Clarke at her
"Shof op." Lexa hissed, covering Anya's mouth with her hand
"I really need to learn Trigedasleng." Clarke mumbled, "It's nice to meet you, Anya."
"You too, Skai Prisa." Anya winked at her
"How's Reyes?" Lexa asked
"Doctors say she'll never get full use of her leg again so she's a bit bummed but she's working on a brace for it. She should be here pretty soon." Anya said, eyes flicking to Clarke, "But maybe I should tell her not to."
"Son of a bitch." A small dark headed girl burst through the door way, bend over and panting, "Why the fuck is your room so high up, god damn."
"We have an elevator." Anya said, walking over to the girl and kissed her on the lips "You should use it."
"And eventually lose my amazing ass?" The girl scoffed, "I think not."
"Hello, Raven." Lexa said, drawing attention to herself and Clarke
"What's up, Commander and Co?" Raven smiled, "Long time no see."
"Raven, this is Clarke. Clarke Griffin." Lexa said, watching as the smile left Raven's face and her eyes filled with sorrow
"Oh." Raven said quietly, eyes on Clarke
"I've not had that reaction before." Clarke joked uncomfortably
"Clarke, Raven was uh, the night your dad – Um, Raven was there. That night." Lexa said
"What do you mean?"
"I um," Raven cleared her throat, "I'm the one that crashed into your dad. I'm so sorry, Clarke."
"Okay." Clarke nodded, "It couldn't have been avoided right? That's what the Doctors said."
"Well, no, my wheel seized for no apparent reason." Raven scratched her head, "But still, I'm so sorry."
"It's fine." Clarke shrugged, "Sorry about your leg. I'm just, uh, I'm going to go have a sleep. I'm pooped."
Instead of leaving like Anya and Raven thought she was going to, Clarke started walking towards Lexa's room with Lexa not far behind her
"Why didn't you tell me they were together?" Raven asked, sitting next to Anya
"They're not. Lexa insists they're just friends."