Here it is. The moment you realized you could fuck up and never be able to see her again. Why was it so nerve wracking? She's one woman...just one.
Yeah but the most gorgeous person I've ever laid eyes on, you think to yourself with a sigh.
Yeah...so maybe Lara isn't just one woman or some woman. She was your friend. Best friend. It's not like you haven't done this before. This time is just so different compared to the last few...you can feel it and despite what you want to think...it is. This time, you've accepted the truth and how you feel so anything and everything feels awkward when you do it for her. It also feels right.
The falling was slow. Very slow. You had infatuation or a crush at first sight sure...but falling? You didn't know it took so long for the truth to crash into a person.
Your vision slowly faded from black and white to vibrant colors you'd never seen in your life. Pink, Orange, Blue, hell the color of Lara's eyes were your favorite. It all was just so...there and colorful. Like the world in a way you'd never seen it before. You didn't even notice you had colored vision until you saw Lara last night. You looked in her eyes and god did you never want to stop. Pictures don't do it justice.
It didn't take a genius to figure out what it was. Soulmates.
The odd thing? A lot of people say soulmates are an instant thing. It wasn't that way for you.
You slowly learned Lara. The crevices in her past. The fissures in her heart. Cracks, gaps, mountains, walls, and you took it all in stride. Everything she was just seemed to make you better and you could tell or hope you could have it was the same, vice versa. You two went from awkward 'hey it's you!' to best friends. You are or were at a level of comfort where you could probably take anything of hers and she wouldn't care because it was safe with you.
You don't know if she noticed but you had no problem by now letting her in when she gently wanted to. If you didn't want to talk about it, she'd understand and give you time. If you were hurt she'd comfort or distract you. You hadn't been given that before. Anytime you smile you can recognize that it brightens her days. So you smile a lot. If you're honest...it's not hard to smile around her.
You thought, at first, you'd be platonic soulmates. That IS a thing. Then you recognized how you felt and fell into your bed. How could you deal with that? She'd figure it out eventually. You just hope she didn't run away when you told her. She's been wanting to know what's up with you for the past month.
You just find it odd how you became so used to black and white...that now anytime you see a new color or set of them it throws you off like you can't think.
She asked you to tell her and used the "it's my birthday" card earlier. So you decided why not? You're tired of driven insane. You know she won't let it go because she's worried it's something deeply wrong. It'll be brought up later. She wants you happy and safe.
So confession time it is!
You take a look at the cake again and bite on your nail nervously. You made sure to have it specifically made to her interests. It looks like a compass, book, and map. You added extra wording. "Happy Birthday Lara" is written and beneath that is "to my favorite book worm," even as corny and cliche as it is. You hope if she rejects you this will distract her. If not the apartment decorated in depth should.
You know how to distract her.
You got this.
"Sam?" You hear footsteps stop as soon as the door closes. Her bag falls to the ground and you can tell she's speechless. You look at the cake and nod to yourself before moving to greet her.
She looks at you and then the historical birthday decorations. You picked up as much as you could specifically for this. She doesn't like big parties so this will do. You've done this every birthday you've known her and she's still surprised every time. She looks at you with wide eyes like she doesn't know what to say so you speak.
"Happy Birthday!" You open your arms wide dramatically at the scene.
She opens her mouth a few times to speak but nothing comes out. You've managed to make Lara Croft speechless in a good way again. You can't help but grin to yourself. Victory! It means you've blown her expectations of people wide open again. She knows you care for her but it's nice to do something she doesn't expect. Last year you threw her a big party. You did what she wanted this year.
You laugh and shake your head as you step to her. She watches you as you put your finger under her chin and close her mouth. She instantly turns red and rubs the back of her head. You grab her hand and lead her to the couch. Of course, then she begins to speak.
"Sam you didn't-"
"Do we really have to go through this every time?" She looks confused and you shove her down onto the couch.
She watches you for a moment and you swear she expected you to do something else instead of turn to go grab something from your room. The ideas swarm your head and you have to shake them away. Uhm...no. It's Lara. Her birthday.
You manage to dig in your closet (it's a miracle really considering how much is in there) and find the bags you'd hidden. All year long you've kept a list of 'Lara's wants and needs' full of things she's shown an interest in owning or having but never got. You purposefully had them on layaway or hid them someplace else. Hell, you even ordered books online just for her. She's worth it. It's a little hard to carry four full bags but you do it. She's still sitting in place but has her coat off by now and is skimming through a book. You roll your eyes.
"Happy," you drop them in front of her causing her to jump back, "Birthday nerd!" She looks up at you with a raised brow. Your choice of words seems to have gotten her attention. She's about to say something so you drop a bag in her lap.
"Sam-" She looks shocked at how much you got on her. You know the cost will come up.
"Happy birthday! No," you clap a hand over her mouth, "no cost. We aren't doing that this year. Just open the damn presents so I can go get your cake. NO arguments. I spent money on you because you're worth it," she removes your hand and nods with a shy smile.
"Sam," you turn half way to the kitchen and look at her, "thank you. You'll never know how much it means to me..." Her eyes tell you she means it. You hope you learn someday.
You find the cake in the exact same spot you left it and sigh in relief. Thank god...you panicked over it despite how ridiculous it seems now. You look it over one more time before carefully picking it up and moving back to the couch. Lara's going through what you've given her and stops at a small locket you made. Your heart swells and you stop. She opens it and looks so happy for a moment. the last picture of her parents is in it and she wants to cry but seems to notice you and wipes tears away before motioning you over.
You snap out of it and do so. The cake is placed in front of her. She audibly gasps and looks at you.
"Please don't make me sing to you," you joke.
"I won't," she laughs and pulls you to sit with her. You smile and let yourself fall beside her. Her arm instantly wraps around you, "It's amazing Sam. Thank you. What did you have to do for all of this?" You lean into her more.
"I had to become a ninja," she laughs, "Seriously though? The store where I got the decorations...the lady was kind of rude? When I said it was for my best friend she sighed and said 'you'll never get married like this' like...what?" You heard her chuckle again, "Luckily I grabbed the last they had."
"What about the cake? Which I want after this," you nodded and smiled.
"That was fine. I asked them to make it specifically this way. I don't think they like me now," you laughed and she rose a brow.
"Why not?"
"Because I kept asking them to redo it. They kept getting the right shade of green wrong," you slapped a hand over your mouth.
Abort...Abort! ABORT, you mentally yelled at yourself. That happened quicker than you expected. Well shit...you really do suck at keeping secrets it seems. You can't help but feel stupid. She wasn't supposed to know till later when you could run away because now her arm has gripped your shoulder and she's giving you this look you can't decipher.
"Sam...how can you see green?" She asks. You don't answer. She pulls your hand away and urges you on, "Sam."
"So...cake?" You laugh nervously and move to stand until her hand catches yours and stops you.
She looks at you softly and it's...very different from how you pictured she might. Her eyes are soft and warm. Deeper than usual like this is delicate and she needs to know. You could lie to her...save yourself...but that would hurt her so you know you can't. You just want to know why you love her so much that the moment she asks you something you tell her or you do it without thought. Your mouth moves before you think really.
"I found my soulmate," she deflates and you don't know why but you backtrack, "no! You got it wrong!" She looks at you confused! "Well, I guess you do if you think it's you? Because THAT would be the right answer and you know...maybe I should-" Your nervous ramblings is cut off when she clears her throat. You go completely silent.
"Sam," you look at her, "THAT is the best birthday present yet that I've-"
This time, you cut her off with a kiss. Fuck it. You're too far gone and she just HAD to say that.
Within a few seconds, your arms are around her neck and she's pulling you as close as possible. You hadn't imagined she'd taste like this. So...electric is the word you're aiming for. Her lips shock yours and you pull her deeper into the kiss until you need a breath. Funnily enough, it's you who has to break it and she chases after your lips that cause you to chuckle and press her back.
"One helluva way to take my breath away," you laugh giving her a small kiss.
"Like you don't constantly take mine away?" That's it. You grab her and pull her into a deep kiss again. She manages a last few words before she can't speak anymore, "Happy Birthday Lara."
Happy Birthday, Lara, You think to yourself. It can be said later. You need to focus right now.