Chapter Eight
29 MAY 2020
Dublin, IE
Positive COVID-19 Cases: 24,876
Deaths: 1,645
"Cass, I think its a great piece," Nate said. "British people don't truly understand the level of police brutality in the States. Its good that you wrote about it."
Cassie could hear the clink of a spoon against porcelain as the man on the other end of the call spoke. "Nate, are you making tea right now?" she asked, ignoring his words of praise.
"Cassie, accept the praise," he insisted. "Just take the win and move on," he sighed.
She inhaled slowly and shifted her weight on her feet, allowing her gaze to follow Finn across the playground. "I know Edie's waiting for more pages. I'm sure she's livid that I had time to write an article, but not the forty pages I promised her last week."
Nate scoffed. "To be honest, this article is far better for you right now. The pages can wait."
"Great. Can I get that in writing to Edie when she comes sniffing around tonight?" she asked sarcastically. "Oi! Finn! Stay off the fence!" she called across to Finn. He paused in the middle of his climb and descended back to the concrete glumly.
"At the park, I take it?" he asked. She heard him take a sip of something and swallow.
Cassie sniffed, her nose running slightly. "Uh...yeah. They've just opened up the parks again here, so I've taken the animal out for an airing."
Nate chuckled. "If we wanted to schedule a book signing there, do you think we could get away with it?" he asked.
"I'm not really sure," she replied. "You'd need to look at what the regulations are for gatherings and all that. I think we're a ways off from anything large enough for a proper signing still."
"I'll have Briony check," he said. "We want to get as much publicity done as we can for We Are All Born Dying. Its not doing as well as we'd hoped."
"Gee, that's a shocker," Cassie joked. She switched her cell phone to her other ear as she walked several paces around the playground, keeping Finn in her line of sight. "The world's on fire and nobody wants to read a book with the word dying in the title."
"Listen missy," Nate chided. "Its my job to make sure your books sell. How the fuck else are you meant to pay me?"
"Nate, you have four other clients," she smiled. "Go badger them."
"I'm trying to buy a house! If I buy it and then you shit the bed on me, I'll be fucked," he answered. "You're by far the most successful one of my clients, Cass. I'm relying on you to keep me in the lifestyle to which I've become accustomed to."
A young family walked near Cassie and she pulled her mask up over her nose and mouth from where it sat under her chin. She gave them a nod and took a few steps away from them. "I'm open to a signing or whatever, but I'm leaving it up to you guys to plan. You know me - just tell me where to be and when. I don't care about any other details."
"Right," he said quickly. "I need to get going. I will check in with you next week."
"Sounds good," she replied. "Chat soon."
Cassie ended the call and put her phone into her back pocket. Finn dashed across the playground and began climbing up the steps to the play structure. She walked around the structure to stand at the bottom of the slide. He saw her as he came down it and shrieked in laughter.
They'd been back in Dublin for several days now, having left Andrew's place after a solid two week stay. The break had been nice, but it was nice to be back among her things and her routines. Schools were open again, but Cassie still refused to send Finn. Cases had begun to level out, but new information about complications for young children arising had started to come out and there was no way she was taking that risk with him.
Finn was sad to see the end their regular pool sessions, but he was happy to be back in his own room. The parks being open again really helped ease the transition, even if the equipment was crawling with other children. Cassie insisted on him continuing to wear a mask, even when outside playing, and the second they got home, she stripped him down and dumped him into the bath. His play clothes were practically boiled on the sanitize cycle of their washing machine.
She and Andrew still spoke every day. He seemed happy to get his house back, even if it was much quieter now they were gone. Finn's destruction had finally reached its end, at least.
At first, Cassie was a little concerned about Andrew being out there by himself, but with restrictions easing, he told her he was meeting up with friends for swims in the sea, so she figured he must not be completely isolated. It reminded her of how small her own life was and how dependent she'd become on having him near. Now that he was an hour away, her own isolation slammed into her like a truck.
She had plenty of work to keep herself busy, though. The pages she'd put off writing for her publisher during her stay with Andrew had crept back up on her. And after the fiasco in America a few days beforehand, she'd rushed an article out for The Guardian.
Her heart hurt writing it. She'd seen the video and heard him screaming that he couldn't breathe. She heard him crying out for his mother. Suddenly, she couldn't breathe. Her heart felt like it was lodged in her throat and she felt like she had to say something. So she did the only thing she knew how to do and wrote. It had been four days since George Floyd's death and the news had crossed the globe. The video had been watched millions of times. And the press was starting to cover the case.
The British and European newspapers didn't quite grasp the magnitude of police brutality against Black people in America. They didn't understand why it was such a big deal. So Cassie explained why. And her editor had loved it when she pitched it and somehow it made it to print that morning. In big, bold letters on the space her regular column usually occupied, sat an article delving into America's dirty history of police brutality and how it had arrived at the catalyst of George Floyd's death. It wasn't lost on her though, that they were taking the word of a white Jewish woman rather than seeking out a Black person. Still, she reasoned, it was better than doing nothing.
"Alright, Finn," she called. "Five minute warning!"
"Okay!" he called back as he climbed the steps again, taking each step one at a time, hauling his small body up one foot at a time.
She watched him take the slide again and felt in her pocket for her phone as it vibrated. Andrew's name flashed across the screen.
"Hey, Cass," he greeted her.
She cleared her throat before replying. "Hi." Finn came down the slide and she reached out for his hand. "C'mon. Time to go home," she said to him.
"Sorry?" he asked.
"Oh - I'm out with Finn at the park," she explained to Andrew. "I'm tearing him away from his precious playground."
"How terrible," Andrew joked.
"I know. I'm a horrible mother," she answered. "What's up?" she asked, leading Finn toward the park gate.
"I just read your article," he began. "Its very good. Very informative."
"You really think so?" she asked. Finn scooted closer to her as a woman passed by pushing a double stroller. "My agent said it was but I'm not sure it will actually play well with the target audience."
"Cassie, I think its fantastic," Andrew insisted. "I really enjoyed it. I shared it on my social media. I hope you don't mind," he added.
"You...shared it on your social media?" Cassie asked slowly.
"Yeah. It was a great article. I think people need to read it," he replied. "Was...was I not supposed to do that? Because Alex shared it, too. But I didn't tell him to. He did it on his own," he rushed out.
"That's...that was kind of you, I guess?" she said.
"I shouldn't have shared it, should I?" he asked.
"Andrew, its fine. Really," she insisted. "Thank you."
"How's Finn?" he asked, switching the subject.
"He's fine, no different from when you asked yesterday," she chuckled. "Hang on. Crossing the street." She took Finn's hand tightly in hers and crossed the street. Finn jogged alongside her as they raced against an oncoming truck. "What about you? How is it, getting to see all the lads again after so long?"
"Ehm... yeah. Its good, I suppose. We go swimming each morning," he began. She could practically see him scratching the back of his head, ruffling his hair the way he did when he was trying to formulate an answer quickly.
They passed the café on the ground floor of her building and waved to the barista behind the counter. Cassie fumbled with her keys, tilting her head to clutch the phone between her jaw and shoulder as she unlocked the front door.
"Have you gotten lonely yet?" she asked, following Finn inside and shutting the door after herself.
"No, not yet," Andrew replied.
"Miss us yet?" she joked. She kicked a pair of Finn's shoes to the wall as she passed by.
It was the same script they'd followed since she'd left. Every day things sort of devolved into the same conversation.
"Yes, actually," he said, catching her off guard.
She stopped halfway up the steps. "Really? It only took you a week to recover from Finn's destruction. That's a new record, I think."
Andrew chuckled softly. "I suppose. The house is sort of eerily quiet now without him here. I think I got used to his chaos."
Cassie heard Finn's shoes smack against the floor upstairs before the sound of his running footsteps thundered overhead.
"Well, if you ever get desperate for a hit of the chaos, you're welcome to come visit anytime you want," she said, continuing up the staircase.
She made her way through the house, leaving her own shoes at the top of the stairs and straightening Finn's. She could hear the television in the living room upstairs and figured she had a few minutes to talk.
"Isn't Finn's school open again?" Andrew asked. "I would have thought you'd start sending him again. Y'know, to free up time to work."
She leaned against the counter top in the kitchen. "I...I'm not yet," she said slowly. "I don't think I'm OK with taking the risk. I want to see how the summer goes and see what's going on with all these pediatric cases and the longer term side effects first."
"Right. I heard about those cases," he said. "I guess I just figured the school would be careful."
"They might be, but...y'know. He's all I've got. I'm not taking any more risks," she explained. "My editor and publisher are way down the list of people that I care about. I mean, shit, you're higher on the list than they are."
"I'm honored," he teased. "Listen, I've got to go. I just wanted to tell you I enjoyed the article."
"Thanks, again," she said. "Talk soon."
He ended the call and she turned to the dirty dishes piling up in the sink, wishing he was there to at least handle the washing up.
***
Later that night after Finn had gone to bed, Cassie was sat at her desk chatting with her brother via ZOOM.
"Lij, I think you should get out of New York," she said, taking a sip of wine. "Its starting to look terrifying there."
He shook his head. "It's fine. They're actually starting a reopening plan soon. Just like Ireland is."
"I just feel like you need to go see how Dad's doing," she insisted. "He's all alone in Cincinnati."
"No he's not. Bethany went back with Eddie and the kids. They're staying with him," Elijah explained.
Cassie blinked in surprise. "Really? When did that happen?"
"Two weeks ago," he said. "Jesus, don't you two talk anymore?"
She shifted in her chair and looked out the window. The sky was dark and the city skyline illuminated the low-hanging clouds on the horizon.
"Not really. Its hard, you know. The time difference," she muttered.
"Why can't you two just get over the drama? There's a fucking pandemic on," he sighed, running a hand through his shaggy dark brown hair. It was in need of a trim two weeks ago. "Bigger picture, you know?"
"There's no drama," Cassie sighed. "We just don't get on. That's all. We have different personalities."
"Really? Because when I talked to her yesterday, she said that you're ignoring her calls," he said.
She let her head fall back in annoyance. "Oh my God, I was in a meeting. I couldn't answer her call then. I sent it to voicemail. I'm going to call her back."
"Cass, you call people back the next day, not three days later," Elijah chided. "At this point, you're in 'ignoring' territory."
"Alright, Jesus, I'll call her tomorrow!" she sighed in exasperation.
"She says Dad's fine, by the way," he said. "She does all the grocery shopping for him and all that."
"I'll send them some money and then they can just get groceries delivered," Cassie offered. "With the kids, I'm sure its safer to stay home anyway."
"To be honest, I think Beth enjoys just getting out of the house. She's outnumbered over there," Elijah chuckled.
Cassie's sister Bethany was the oldest of the three children. She was seven years older than Cassie and seemed to take her role as Oldest Child more seriously than most. After their mother's death, Bethany made it her sole focus to help their father through anything. She left college and moved back home. She took on all the cooking and cleaning whilst their father grieved. And she never ceased to remind Cassie of the sacrifices she had made. It was as though she thrived on martyrdom.
She'd met her husband Eddie a year after moving back and the two married a year later. They had three kids within six years, all boys. There were days when Cassie thought Bethany was overwhelmed and exhausted. Despite what she said, Bethany never seemed happy. It was a contributing factor for Cassie not wanting kids for a long time. Her nephews appeared to suck the life out of her sister.
"She's pregnant again, by the way," Elijah said. "You didn't hear it from me, though."
"What?!"
"Yeah. I guess Eddie's vasectomy wasn't as permanent as they thought," he said, taking a drink from a beer bottle.
Cassie furrowed her brow in confusion. "How - never mind, I don't want to know," she shuddered. "I guess I'll call her and act surprised when she tells me." She paused for a moment. "How is Dad?"
He inhaled slowly. "Still going into work. Though I'm not exactly sure how he's supposed to teach music when he's in a room by himself."
"Jesus, all those parents must be so happy to have their kids practicing their instruments at home," she smiled.
"I actually feel bad for him. Apparently he's giving individual lessons to each student in the band. He's gotta listen to each shitty teenager strangle out the same eight notes for hours on end." Elijah laughed. "How's Finn doing?" he asked, changing the subject.
"He's adjusting. They've lifted some restrictions here so we can go to the parks again," she said. "Though I think he misses Andrew's pool more than I expected."
"Right, how are things with Andrew?"
"What do you mean, 'things with Andrew'?" she asked, raising an eyebrow. "There are no 'things' with Andrew. We're just friends."
"So introducing him to your son and staying with him for a couple weeks was what, a gesture of good will?" he smirked.
She rolled her eyes. "Yes. Nothing is happening. We are friends. I'm not even on the market for a relationship right now. Why does everyone keep suggesting there's more going on?"
"Cass, its just weird that a guy invites you over to his place for a couple weeks and nothing happens," Elijah needled. "I don't particularly enjoy the image of my baby sister gettin' it on with a guy, but seriously. Its strange."
"Oh for fuck's sake," she muttered. "This is why I don't tell people about my life."
"Its been three years. You're allowed to start dating again. Nobody expects you to be single forever," Elijah reminded her.
"I'm aware," Cassie replied. "I just don't have any interest in dating right now. Andrew is a friend. Besides, even if I did have any interest in him, A) I don't think he's into single mothers with enough baggage to fill a Boeing 747 and B) he's sort of obsessed with work."
"So are you," he said.
"Yes, but his work takes him around the world for months on end with zero breaks. There's no way a relationship between us would work," she explained, waving her hand dismissively.
"Will traveled a lot for work and was obsessed with soccer," he countered.
"Will was home most weeks," she corrected him. "He was obsessed with soccer, but he didn't have to go on world tours and be in different time zones for months on end. Plus, I could always go to the games if I wanted to."
"Why couldn't you go to the concerts for Andrew, then?" Elijah asked.
"Because I'm not a fucking groupie, 'Lij!" she exclaimed. "And nothing is happening between us, so this whole conversation is pointless! Can we move on, please?"
Her brother shrugged and lifted his beer again. "Listen, I know you're enjoying Ireland and all that, but I wish you had a better support network around you. Especially now."
"I do have a support network," she insisted. "I've got parents from Finn's school and Shira from the café downstairs and now Andrew and Alex."
"Who's Alex?" Elijah asked.
"Andrew's friend and bandmate," she replied. "He was at the house for a few days before going to spend time with his parents." She stifled a yawn. "Listen, I need to get to bed. Its late here."
"Yeah, I know," he said. "I'm heading off soon, too. Not that I've got anything to go to in the morning."
"It'll get better, 'Lij. You'll be back in the kitchen in no time," she said gently.
"Call Beth, please," he reminded her. "I'm tired of her dumping all over me. I can't even use the excuse that I'm in the middle of the dinner rush or have to get to sleep anymore."
"Yes, yes, I know. I will call her," Cassie nodded. "I promise. Stay safe."
"You, too. Talk tomorrow," he said before ending the call with a tired smile.
She rolled her head on her shoulders as she stood from her desk and went back downstairs to her bed. Elijah had always been the person in her family that she'd gotten on with the most. With New York City on lockdown, nearly all restaurants had shut down. The owner of the one Elijah worked at had shut down fully as soon as the lockdown rules came into effect and apparently didn't have any plans for reopening any time soon.
Like most people, his entire life had ground to a halt. She couldn't imagine what it must be like for people who were used to getting out of the house on a daily basis being stuck at home all day long with very little social interaction. It was lucky for her that she was already used to being home alone all day and not interacting with others.
She crawled into her bed, ignoring the large pile of unfolded laundry on one side. Lately, each night she'd started thinking that the next day would be better. It was the first time in a long time where she thought she could see the light at the end of the tunnel. It was a tiny pinprick of white way off in the distance but it was there, shining brightly.
*** R/CASSANDRAADLERAUTHOR ***
EDGARALLENPOESLEFTSHOE99 POSTED: So I may be crazy, but has anyone noticed how Cassie's background changed up in the last few weeks? She used to do all her videos in her office, maybe her kitchen or something. But in the last few weeks, I've noticed that her background has changed.
EPHRONESQUE9021 POSTED: Could she have been in a different part of her house? Its not like we've seen her whole house.
EDGARALLENPOESLEFTSHOE99 POSTED: Maybe, but the window in the background seems to look out on a field. Doesn't she live in downtown Dublin?
DICTIONARYBITCH2395 POSTED: She does. I can see how its weird. I don't think she lives near any parks or anything that would have a field. Could she have left the city for a couple weeks or something? I know a lot of people did that here in NYC. They all fled to the Hamptons and Martha's Vineyard and shit.
EPHRONESQUE9021 POSTED: That's probably it. She and Finn must have gone to stay with a friend. I can't really blame her. I'd hate to be living in a crowded city right now.
EDGARALLENPOESLEFTSHOE99 POSTED: I don't know. It just seems weird to me. Wherever she was, she was getting a lot more sun and seemed a lot more relaxed.
EPHRONESQUE9021 POSTED: Whatever it was, I hope it helped her get more writing done. I've already finished Dying and I can't wait for her next book.
As much as I love Cassie's columns in the newspaper, I wish she'd focus more on writing fiction.
DICTIONARYBITCH2395 POSTED: I loved her article about the George Floyd situation. I can't believe she even had to write it, but the way she highlighted the differences between being an advocate and amplifying voices and being an activist and fighting on the front line was really eye-opening. I had no idea how many black voices were being silenced by the way outraged white folks were protesting.
BLKIRISESSUNSHN5610 POSTED: Did you guys see that the musician Hozier reposted it in his Instagram stories and on Twitter? He almost never does things like that. Weird, no?
EPHRONESQUE9021 POSTED: You're right! He never does things like that. Its strange. But then, they did do that Q&A session a little while ago for that podcast. So they're obviously friends. That's probably why he shared it. I know he's been a fan of hers for a while.
DICTIONARYBITCH2395 POSTED: He has, you're right. I think I remember him asking a question during an IG live she did back on St. Patrick's Day. She didn't say it was from him, but I saw his name crop up in the chat. It disappeared really quickly as people asked questions and all that, but I swear I remember seeing it.
BLKIRISESSUNSHN5610 POSTED: I'd say that was all cool if Hozier's bassist and friend hadn't also shared it on his stories.
They'd been staying together doing lives for charities and all that recently. Alex doesn't usually post a lot of stuff on social media, so this sort of stands out as odd to me.
EDGARALLENPOESLEFTSHOE99 POSTED: Maybe they're also friends? If she's friends with Andrew, then she's probably friends with Alex? Who knows.