Chapter Four
28 April, 2020
Dublin, IE
Positive COVID-19 Cases: 19,877
Deaths: 1,159
Cassie threw several toys into a plastic bin as she crawled across the living room floor. Finn had left a path of destruction that would rival a hurricane's and there were toys all across the carpet. She glanced at her watch; she had fifteen minutes before she had to get on a call with Andrew. Not that he would care, that is. He was hardly ever on time himself, so he probably wouldn't even know she was late.
For some reason, she had agreed to do a video interview with him that he planned to release as an extension of his podcast series. It sounded like a good idea at the time - a chance for them to discuss inspiration, method, and answer fan questions - but now that she was in the weeds with real life, it seemed like another chore. If both of their management teams hadn't already expressed happiness and interest at the idea, she'd have probably just begged off.
The only saving grace was that she enjoyed talking to Andrew. It wasn't a chore or tiring. He was chock-full of interesting questions and always seemed to have something for the two of them to talk about in their usual calls. She actually found herself looking forward to them. Plus, she knew both of their fanbases needed this. With lockdowns continuing across the world, the situation was getting more and more dire by the day.
In America, people were fighting over simple things like toilet paper and hand sanitizer. Kids were home from school unsure what exactly they were supposed to be doing, high schoolers didn't know if they were actually going to graduate, college students didn't know if they would even have jobs to go to, and parents were all terrified about how to keep their children safe (and maintain their own sanity). Nobody had any answers and it was more and more maddening by the day.
"That's it. I'm binning half of this stuff in the morning," she grumbled as she lurched to her feet and lifted the plastic bin to the sofa. "Kid has too much damn shit."
That's what you get for trying to buy your son's love to alleviate the Mom Guilt, a voice in her head said.
Things had taken a nosedive in the last month or so. Finn had finally realized he wasn't going back to school anytime soon and stopped asking, but that also meant his behavior had gone in the toilet. Cassie was equally frustrated and angry that her normally-mild-mannered angelic toddler had morphed into a pint-sized brat. She knew it was because of all the changes he was experiencing and the lack of attention she could give him, but it didn't change how horrible she felt when he screamed at her or threw a toy against the brick wall.
Their outdoor activity had been limited to a single walk in the afternoon and all of the parks had been shut down. Finn had taken to riding his scooter alongside her, but that was all he got. She'd ordered a small play set and assembled it on the roof terrace, but he'd grown tired of it quickly. Most of his days were spent watching TV or movies and she felt like the worst mother in the world, letting him rot his brain away with screens.
But she had deadlines and meetings and phone calls and without someone else to help out, she didn't have a choice. And since she had to meet with people in the UK and America, time had ceased to mean anything. She relied so heavily on her phone alarm and calendar to tell her where and when she had to do something that if it died, she firmly believed she'd be dead along with it.
Her phone alarm went off, right on time, reminding her of the call. She trotted up the steps to her bathroom and ran a brush through her hair. She swiped a bit of mascara across her eyes and dabbed on some lip balm, hoping it was enough to hide the dark circles under her eyes.
Her phone started to ring and she rushed to answer it. Andrew's face greeted her as she propped it up against the mirror to finish getting ready.
"Hey," he said, stifling a yawn. "How's it going?"
"Oh, you know, the usual," she mumbled, hair pins in her mouth. "Clinging to my sanity." She twisted her hair into a bun and began securing it. "How about you? And Alex?"
"Oh, we're both good," he replied. "Bit knackered, but I'll be fine. Did you get a chance to check the email I sent you?" he asked.
Cassie cursed quietly. "No, I haven't," she answered. With her hair secure, she unwrapped her dressing gown, revealing a sports bra and her underwear. "What was it for?"
"Uh - it was, ehm," Andrew cleared his throat.
"What?" she asked, noting his stutter, but not looking at him.
"Its...you know I can see you, right?" he asked, clearing his throat again nervously.
Cassie looked down and flushed five shades of red before wrapping herself back up in her dressing gown and tying it tightly. "Shit, right, sorry."
He chuckled lightly. "Its fine," he said. "I just - is everything OK? You seem distracted."
She sighed heavily and leaned against the counter top. "Yeah its just...its nothing," she shook her head to clear it. He didn't need to hear about her issues. It wasn't his problem.
"Cass - you can tell me. What's going on?" he asked gently.
She glanced at the phone and crossed her arms. "Just Finn. He's been acting out so much lately. I'm fairly certain I'm going to lose my mind here shortly."
"Do you - I mean...we can cancel today if you need to. I've got time tomorrow night, too," he suggested, running his fingers through his hair and shoving his glasses up his nose.
Cassie shook her head. "I can't. I've got a deadline for a NYT article. I need to get a final draft to Jessica tomorrow night. Plus this needs to go out on Thursday. They won't have enough time to edit it otherwise."
"What's happening, though?"
"Everything's shut down. All we can do is go for a walk. The playgrounds are closed," she explained. "He's used to being able to get outside every day. We used to go to the park every day. He has all this extra energy to burn and nowhere to do it. So now he's just a nightmare."
She picked up the phone and moved into her walk in closet.
"And of course I don't have time to entertain him so all he's doing is watching telly all day," she continued. She set the phone on a shelf in the closet. "So I feel like total shit."
"You're doing the best you can - we all are, Cass," he assured her. "Don't feel bad about it."
She rummaged in her closet for a blouse to wear, pulling two off the rack and turning back to the camera. "What about these? Which one?" she asked, holding each one up.
"Cassie, its not a conference," he chuckled. "Its just a video interview. Its supposed to be laid back and relaxed. You don't need to do anything special."
She sighed. He was right. Her entire brain seemed to be fried and no matter what she did, it felt like she was doing it wrong. "Yeah, I know."
"Seriously, are you alright?" he asked, genuine concern knitting across his face.
Cassie put both of the hangers back on the rod, turning away so he couldn't see the tears forming in her eyes. All she wanted to do was cry. That morning, she'd told Finn they couldn't go for a walk because she was too busy. He'd told her he hated her and her heart broke as he stomped off to his bedroom. Then the TV had stopped working in the middle of his favorite show and he'd launched the remote across the room in a bout of screaming right as she was in the middle of a meeting with her editor at the New York Times. At lunch he'd dumped his whole plate of food on the floor and he didn't settle in for a nap until after he'd cried and screamed for a solid twenty minutes.
"Its just...its just a lot, Andrew," she said, letting out a long, slow breath in an attempt to keep the tears at bay. "I'm doing everything by myself and Finn isn't making it any easier. He needs to be back in school, to be able to run around and play outside. We don't have a back garden or even a park to go play at."
"I do," he replied. "Not a park, but I've got a garden - fuck, I've got loads of space. And a pool," he said. "Why not come stay with me for a week or something, just to see if that helps Finn out."
Cassie immediate started shaking her head. "I couldn't ask you to do that."
"Why not?" he countered. "I've got two extra bedrooms. You need to get out of the city. Finn needs a place to run off his energy. It'll be grand."
"Andrew, you don't want a toddler running around your house. Its not fair to you," she sniffled. She moved to grab a graphic t-shirt and a pair of jeans.
"Alex is already staying with me because his neighbor hates it when he practices," he explained. "You need a place to go, a change of scenery. Its OK. I'm happy to have you. You're my friend and you need help."
"That's really kind of you to offer," she said, forcing a smile. "But we are fine here. For now."
"Well, the offer stands if you change your mind," he said gently. "It would be nice to have someone else to talk to besides Alex," he added with a chuckle. "I love the lad, but he gets boring after a bit."
She nodded. "I'll think about it, OK?" That seemed to satisfy him because he didn't continue to push the issue. "So, how exactly are we doing this?" she asked, ducking out of frame to pull the t-shirt and jeans on.
He cleared his throat again. "I sent over an email with some questions I wanted you to approve first. I figured you could tell me what you didn't want to talk about and we could just go from there." She walked back over and picked up the phone. "I asked my fans to submit some back when we announced it, so I included some of those, too."
Cassie scoffed as she took the steps up to her office. "Andy, I trust you. You're not going to ask anything I don't want to answer."
"As long as you're sure," he replied.
"Yes, I'm sure," she intoned, sitting at her desk and turning on her laptop. "Did you figure out the tech side of all this?" she asked.
"Ehm...yes. I believe so," he muttered. "Let me call you on ZOOM, okay?" he said before hanging up.
Cassie opened the app on her laptop and a second later, Andrew's name popped up on her screen. She accepted the call and smiled at him when he reappeared.
"So it should work. I just need to record my screen and everything should come up normally," he said distractedly as he looked at his own screen. "Could you make sure your audio works really quick?" he asked. "Just like test it or something."
A thought ran through Cassie's mind suddenly. "Wait, did you say you have a swimming pool?" she asked, tilting her head.
He blinked and focused on her again. "Ehm...yeah. I do. Indoors. Its pretty nice."
"That's...that's so rock star of you, Andrew," she chuckled.
He smirked and continued to adjust a few things on his end. "Its coming in handy now more than it ever has before. I try to swim every day. At least, until I can get down to the beach again. Its nice."
"Huh," she replied, considering his response for a moment. "Finn's never been swimming properly. I've taken him to the beach once or twice, but he's never been in a proper pool."
"Well, if this thing ever clears up, you're welcome to bring him to mine," Andrew answered. "Alright, I think I've got it all sorted out."
"Good to go?" she asked.
He nodded. "I'll just go right into it then."
After a quick introduction to her and an overview of the purpose of the interview, Cassie found herself answering the first question.
"I'll start with an easy one," he smiled. "You've been called the best writer of Southern Gothic literature in the twenty-first century. How does that make you feel?"
"It - uh," she chuckled. "It feels like its a really big pair of shoes to fill." He smiled back at her. "I guess I think its a nice compliment, but we're only a fifth of the way through this century, so there's a pretty good chance I'll be lapped by someone else by the end of it."
"What do you think are the main highlights of Southern Gothic literature?" he asked.
"I think the biggest one is the blurring of victim and villain," Cassie sighed. "Often you see a villain who is just as much of a victim as those they are victimizing and it is often due to life circumstances - a death, usually. Another pillar of Southern Gothic literature is the grotesque and freakish. You will often see grotesque descriptions of violent acts alongside imagery that smacks of decay and destitution."
"And the Southern Gothic genre focuses on the nineteenth century?" he asked, pushing his glasses up.
She nodded. "Mostly, yes. You'll find most true Southern Gothic pieces take place in the ante- and post-bellum American South. Its a fairly American genre in that sense because it rose from the cultural vacuum left by the American Civil War," she explained. "From a cultural standpoint, after the Civil War, the American South was destroyed, so it sort of became stunted in a way, alongside its economy. This is why you see such a heavy focus on crime, poverty, and social injustice in Southern Gothic literature."
"And why were you drawn to it?" he asked. He already knew the answer, but she answered it anyway.
"I think I just liked the dark romanticism of it. I liked the idea of romanticizing a villain as you would a victim," Cassie said. "I think its a great example of how nobody is purely good or purely bad. We're all on a spectrum, you know?"
"Right," he nodded.
"I also really connected with the concept of unreliable narrators and the feeling of isolation and alienation," she continued. "I often felt alienated growing up, so it was a natural jump for me to make."
"Do you have any recommendations for people looking to get into the Southern Gothic genre?" Andrew asked. He was resting his chin on the heel of his hand, listening intently.
"Oooo," she considered the question for a moment. "Capote is a great one, but mostly his early works - so, Other Voices, Other Rooms, his short story collection A Tree of Night and Other Short Stories, The Grass Harp. Erskine Caldwell is another great option. I'd be completely remiss if I forgot to mention Faulkner. Sound and the Fury is easily one of the most well-known examples of the Southern Gothic genre," she said. "But I think my personal favorite is Flannery O'Connor, who really got me into the style to begin with."
"What advice would you give to someone who may be considering writing their own book?" Andrew asked, taking a sip from a mug next to him.
Cassie inhaled slowly, thinking back to the beginning of the process a decade beforehand. "I think I would tell them to keep realistic expectations. Most authors trying to sell their debut pieces don't do very well. In fact, the only authors that do well right off the bat are typically those with lots of connections," she started. "The ones who do get their pieces published still go through dozens of rejections - or more. I suppose its a lot like the music industry, right? You have to trudge through a lot of rejection."
"That's true," he agreed. "I think its true of any creative pursuit, to be fair. But yes, I think anytime you're putting your work out there, seeking any type of seal of approval, especially where a mass release of said product is concerned, you're going to have to go through a fair amount of rejection before you find the right fit."
"How much rejection did you get in the beginning?" she asked him, jumping at the chance to have him speak for a while.
"Ehm...I'd say a fair amount," he chuckled, rubbing the back of his neck. "How many did you have?" he asked.
Cassie tilted her head, biting her lip. "I think I must have sent it to four or five different publishers. I got insanely lucky," she said. "Four or five publishers is the equivalent of like, a gold medal or something."
"Not to brag," he joked, referencing a conversation they'd had a couple nights beforehand.
"Not to brag," she repeated, laughing.
"We have a few questions from fans," he said, returning to the interview from their inside joke.
"Go for it," Cassie nodded.
"Do you have a favorite Southern Gothic film?" Andy asked, reading from the list in front of him.
"You know, I don't. But I guess I'd say that I liked Interview with the Vampire, which was an adaptation of Anne Rice's novel, Cat on a Hot Tin Roof is another one, of course from Tennessee Williams," she listed. "Winter's Bone is a good one too, even though it's not completely a true Southern Gothic piece. But the TV show Ozark is a fantastic representation of the genre."
"Ah, that's a great show!" Andrew exclaimed. "I've been watching it recently."
"Its very well done," Cassie said. "You can clearly see the grotesque and the victim versus villain spectrum. Plus its perfectly gritty and dark. Very well-written."
"Oh, here's another good question," he said, smirking. "Which of Hozier's - my - songs do you think best exemplifies the Southern Gothic genre in music?"
She raised an eyebrow. "You wrote that one, didn't you?" she teased. "This is because I said I haven't listened to much of your music."
Andrew laughed fully, his eyes crinkling up at the corners. "No, honest. Its from Twitter."
"Uh huh," she teased. "I guess...I guess I'd go with the one about the fox? In the Woods?"
"In the Woods Somewhere, yeah," he corrected her. "I think that's a fair shout. Its a fairly horrific song."
Cassie chuckled. "That one and uh...which one was it...Talk I think? There's just something about the tempo and the sluggishness of it that just screams 'deep south destitution' to me."
"I hadn't thought of that one, but you're totally right," he smiled.
"Interestingly enough, a song that would be considered 'Southern Gothic' is not too far away from blues music in terms of the overall musical spectrum. I think it would fall somewhere around Americana or rhythm and blues. So you're not too far off there," she replied.
"Do you have any specific music you listen to when writing?" Andrew asked, taking another sip from his mug.
"Gregorian chants," she deadpanned, making him burst into laughter again. "Honestly, its typically classical music or like, techno. Anything without lyrics. Recently its been piano solos."
"So when you've got an idea for a piece, what does the whole process look like for you?" he asked. He ran his fingers through his hair and tilted his head to the side, listening intently.
"So I actually have a notebook I keep next to my bed where I write down any ideas I have. Its helpful to get them out of my head," Cassie started. "Sometimes I feel like I have too many ideas and I can't think, so this was my solution to that." She cleared her throat. "But say I had an idea and put it in the notebook. I don't typically look back through it every day. I do it once every couple weeks and if anything stands out to me, I'll write out a quick, high-level summary for it. Then I'll leave it for a couple more weeks.
"After that," she continued. "I'll start looking at creating a notebook for the piece."
"You've spoken about those before," he interjected. "I think its a fantastic idea."
She nodded. "Mmmhmm! For each piece I am actively going to write, I create a notebook. This is where all the planning and research and basically everything I need to create a first draft. The entire story comes to life in these notebooks. Sometimes a story may have more than one notebook," she chuckled. "But that's the general idea: everything is kept in one place because my brain is a magnet for chaos and without organization all hell breaks loose."
Andrew smiled. "So once you have the notebook all set up and filled, what's the next step?"
"Usually that's when I do a first draft. I have a habit of going through each chapter and writing a quick summary as means of an outline, so it makes writing the initial draft fairly easy," she answered. "I just have to read the summary and fill in the chapter. Once I have the first draft done, I walk away for another few weeks."
"I'm seeing a pattern, here," he smirked.
Cassie nodded again. "There is. Its very much so a forest for the trees situation. Its really hard to be objective when you've spent months focusing on one piece. So I find that stepping back throughout the process and focusing on other things really helps to keep things fresh. It doesn't necessarily clear the writer's block, but it definitely allows me to shift perspectives."
"How many drafts would you say you do on a piece before it gets to your editor?" Andrew asked, folding his hands under his chin.
She blew out a long gust of air. "Probably three, at least. I usually do an initial re-read and fix obvious errors. Then I go through and make notes on things I want to change. I'll go in and change them, then repeat the process. My editor is usually the first fresh set of eyes to see any new pieces."
"And after your editor sees it? Then what?"
"Then its the same thing. I have a few friends I send things to if I want more perspective after I take my editor's notes," Cassie said. "Its a lot of back-and-forth and revisiting and editing. I've used focus groups before and test readers, changing the name and author of the book. It really just depends on how much attention myself and my editor feel the piece needs."
"What's the longest amount of time you've had a piece stuck in editing limbo?" he asked.
"Probably a year," she replied. "With Solid 6. There were a lot of elements I was unsure of and I really wanted to get them all right."
Cassie had forgotten they were even recording the interview. It felt like they were just chatting away like they had nearly every day for the past six weeks or so. He continued asking insightful questions and occasionally she'd work one of her own in for him. Before they both knew it, the interview had gone on for an hour and they needed to wrap it up.
"Well thank you so much for joining me today, Cassie," Andrew said. "I'm really glad we had a chance to talk and I hope that everyone watching this has learned something new from it. I know I certainly have."
"Oh it was my pleasure, Andrew. Thanks for inviting me to do this," she replied with a gracious smile.
He ended the call and her screen went blank. A second later, her phone was vibrating.
"How was that?" she asked him.
"Great!" he smiled at her. "I'm really glad you did it. It was fun. Really insightful, too."
"Well, I'm happy you learned something," she chuckled. She glanced at the time. "Listen, I've gotta go. Finn's about to wake up from his nap. And if his afternoon is anything like this morning, I'm going to need some serious patience."
Andrew nodded. "Gird your loins," he joked. "Hey Cass?" She looked up at him. "The offer still stands. Seriously. Just consider it."
"We're fine here, Andy. But thank you," she smiled. "I'll talk to you later."
They said goodbye and ended the call and Cassie took a deep breath, bracing for whatever fresh hell Finn decided to grace her with.
***
Hozier Discussion Board
U/freneticpickle Posted: Has anyone else seen the interview Andrew did with Cassandra Adler? It just dropped today and I've been watching it over and over again. Two of my favorite people in one interview. Its so lovely to see them working together.
U/AndrewsLeftShoe Posted: Is it just me of did it look like Andrew was flirting with her? Maybe I'm insane.
They definitely seemed like they knew each other, right? Like they were friends? They seemed really comfortable talking.
U/raindropANDdewdrop Posted: I thought I was going crazy! He was totally flirting with her! I thought it was super cute. It didn't seem like she flirted back, though.
U/AndrewsLeftShoe Posted: Awww that's so cute. He's got a little crush. I mean, maybe they are friends? I know she moved to Dublin late last year, so maybe they run in the same circles. Ireland's list of famous people isn't that long. I'm sure they will have met each other and become friends.
U/freneticpickle Posted: Apparently he watched one of her lives back before lockdowns started. He asked her a question during it. But I don't know if they were friends before then.
U/AndrewsLeftShoe Posted: I remember during the last tour, he was spotted reading one of her books. Maybe he's just a fan of hers and was really excited to interview her.
U/raindropANDdewdrop Posted: I'm just really impressed with her. She's so talented and I actually enjoyed the interview a lot. It was really informative. As an Irish person I knew very little about the genre and I was so surprised she was living in my country.
The way she was treated by the press after her husband's murder in the UK was terrible. Fortunately the Irish press doesn't seem to care as much about celebrities. Hopefully she can have some peace here.