Light the Match
This has been the worst day Cat Grant has experienced in a long time, with its terribly droll beginning that fed into a wonderful middle only to turn horrific by the end. Her meeting at work had been as terrible as she’d anticipated it being, but luckily the executive had decided to wrap things up early enough for her to still swing by Carter’s competition.
Imagine her surprise when she arrived to find her annoying, lying assistant in the stands cheering for her son. Who did she think she was, standing there in her hideous little cardigan holding a poorly made sign with her son’s name on it? How dare she push her way into their lives like that, step in to fill the spot left by Cat’s absence? Who did she think she was, making Cat’s chest tighten and a deep feeling of warmth spread across her body? Who was this girl to make her feel this way?
Cat wanted to be angry, wanted to snap at the girl as she sat down next to her, but a quick glance at the absolute joy radiating from her son stopped her. Carter only looked that open when it was the two of them, locked away in their apartment together. For him to be smiling like that - with an audience, no less - spoke volumes. Carter glanced up and smiled that beautiful smile of his directly at Kiera before spotting her as well. He looked so happy, so incredibly happy to have both women there, and dammit how on Earth had she gotten herself into this mess?
So of course she took them both to lunch, how could she not? Her love for Carter will forever outweigh any of that cold, clinical logic that had allowed her to progress so far in her career. She took them to lunch and she took them for dessert, soaking up the warmth of her son and her assistant together. What was it about this girl that so easily disarmed the Grant family, that allowed her to warm even the coldest of hearts? It was infuriating, really, and Cat hated it.
Yep, definitely hated it.
And that moment they shared when she gave Kiera her coffee (I’m more observant than you realize, Kiera) was definitely meaningless and superficial. Just her observing her assistant’s coffee preferences, nothing unusual. She didn’t get to dwell on that for long, though, when her sweet baby boy was ripped away from her into the back of a van.
Kiera had jumped in after him and just like that the two bright spots in her life were gone.
She ran, of course, chased the van as far as she could (dammit, why did she decide to wear heels to a chess competition?) before collapsing on the ground with a soul-wracking sob. Her mind spiraled, she could barely get each breath out, and all she could think was it’s over, it’s all over.
And then suddenly they were back, a disheveled Kiera racing back down the road with Carter stumbling behind her. At some point Kiera’s glasses had fallen off but she seemed unaware, her eyes sharp and focused as she dragged a crying Carter over to his mother. Cat couldn’t think anything but thank god over and over again as she wrapped herself around him as if she needed to touch every inch of him just to prove that he was really there, that he’s alive and breathing and safe in her arms.
They stay like that, crying and crumbled on the sidewalk, for what feels like centuries and seconds all at once, and she’s only vaguely aware of Kiera standing just above them watching the streets with a sharp focused eye. In a better state of mind Cat might have wondered how the girl could be so focused without her glasses, but the only thing she can think of now is that her darling son is alive.
Kara is jittery the entire time the police are talking to them.
She needs to go, she needs to call Hank and find out what the hell is going on and why Alex just tried to kidnap Carter Grant of all people, but her arm is wrapped protectively around Carter and he’s holding on to it like its the only lifeline he’s got and she can’t just leave yet.
Besides, Miss Grant is focused on screaming at the police for allowing crime to escalate in their city and Kara can tell she might need to step in at any minute to stop her from potentially assaulting a police officer in her rage.
There’s also the fact that, despite all the years, cops still make Kara nervous. One look at the holsters at their sides and she’s immediately a teenager again, screaming and screaming while her sister lays dying in the streets. It’s hard to shake that - can you ever really escape the person you once were? - and even now she has trouble interacting with police.
So needless to say she does not want to be standing here with all of these police officers holding one Grant in her arms while preparing to maybe restrain the other. Luckily things are drawing to a close and she can tell by the slight slump in Miss Grant’s posture that she has reached the end of her ranting for now.
“Imbeciles,” she mumbles as she returns to them, shaking her head. “They’re all imbeciles, I can’t believe my tax money pays for their incompetence. My assistant did a better job at crime stopping than these fools.”
Kara can’t help the slight blush that creeps up at that. Praise from Miss Grant is a rare treat, and she wishes it didn’t affect her so much. Miss Grant seems to focus in on her now, which does not help the heat in her face, and her eyes soften in a way few people ever get to see.
“Thank you, Kiera. Just,” she falters and Kara realizes she’s never seen Miss Grant falter before, “thank you.”
Kara beams at her and Miss Grant looks away, a move she covers by glancing at her son.
She takes in the sight of her assistant with her arm wrapped protectively around Carter. She really didn’t know how to process this girl.
This girl who stutters and lies and trips over herself whenever Cat stares for too long. Who puts up with every demand and angry outburst Cat throws her way with a smile, never losing that cheerful go-lucky charm.
Who leapt into the back of a van and fought off armed kidnappers to protect Carter.
Who the hell is this girl?
Kiera’s phone rings, breaking her concentration, and she watches with interest as the younger girl has a clipped monosyllabic phone conversation. So very strange. She hangs up with a sigh.
“I have to run, guys. I have an errand I have to take care of,” she announces, flashing an apologetic smile to Carter. He lets out a sad little sound and holds on to her tighter and Cat’s heart hurts so much at the sight. Who is this girl to have wormed her way into his heart like that?
“Can you come over after you’re done, Kiera?” Carter pleads without even asking for permission. “Maybe we can have a sleepover?”
A panicked glance is shot towards Cat followed by a short, awkward laugh.
“I don’t know about that, bud! I think you and your mom might want to be alone after all that.”
Carter just tightens his grip on her and Cat knows she has to say something. Her son is still so scared, and if Kiera is what will make him feel safe then how could she not encourage this? It’s only for him, after all.
“Nonsense. You’re staying with us,” Miss Grant declares, her face stoic and unreadable. “We have a guest room with its own bathroom. I assume you’re just going home to an empty apartment and perhaps you shouldn’t be alone right now. I think Carter would feel better if you stayed with us.” There’s an unspoken ‘and I would too' that hangs in the air like a fog, thick and heavy. Kara swallows reflexively.
She thinks about going home to her DEO dorm room with its empty bed beside hers, thinks about Eco-Now deciding to finish the job at the Grant’s home. She can’t help but shudder.
“Tell me if I’m overstepping,” Cat quietly adds, and Kara never in her life expected to see Cat Grant look so reserved and cautious. “No! No you- you aren’t overstepping. I would love to, I just need to take care of something first.”
“Where the HELL is Alex?”
She’s trying to keep her voice down, trying to stay in control, but it’s really hard to stay calm when the secret military organization you’ve dedicated your life to tells you they have no idea where your sister is.
“We lost contact three days ago. Last word we had was a two sentence message sent to her handler that we don’t fully understand.” Hank slides the piece of paper over to her and she snatches it up, scanning it.
Bigger than we thought
I’m trying
Kara throws the paper down with a yell of frustration.
“What does that mean, Hank?! What is she trying?”
She paces the room, huffing blasts of cold air with every step. Everyone keeps their distance, gives her room to cool off. This situation has escalated so quickly and the last thing they need right now is an emotionally unhinged super human getting angry.
“We don’t know. But we are trying to find her, Winn is checking security cameras from all the blocks around your attack site and we will find something. We’ll bring your sister home, Kara.” and he’s using that gentle paternal voice he uses when she gets like this, that voice he used that first time he met her at the hospital. He knows how to help her calm down.
“Why don’t you go shower and rest? You’ve had a long day.” Kara shakes her head.
“No, I promised Miss Grant I would come over tonight.” Hank gives her that look of his, with his eyebrows raised and a skeptical eye, and she tries not to let her face get red at the silent question.
“It’s for Carter. He feels very scared and having me around makes him feel safer, I guess.” She’s using her hands too much, she can tell, but she can’t stop twitching and moving them around. Even when she’s away from her somehow Miss Grant still makes her so awkward and unnerved.
Hank let out a quiet hum at that.
“That could be good, actually. Without Alex we are running blind, we won’t know if they’re planning another attack. You spending more time with Cat Grant means better protection for her and better intelligence for us. I think that’s a great idea.”
Kara nods, swallows. She’s an agent working to protect Cat Grant, nothing more. Spending the night there will help her do her job better. It’s just a job, it’s just a job.
This job feels a lot heavier than her past jobs.
Carter tackles her before the doorbell even finishes ringing.
He’s such a small boy but he has a lot of force behind him, and Kara has to actively remember to loosen her stance up and move with him so it won’t feel like he ran into a block of metal.
“I’m so glad you’re here! You took forever!”
She laughs, lifting him up in a hug that makes him let out a tiny, embarrassed squeal.
“I’m sorry! I had to take care of some things, but I’m here now!” “Carter, sweetheart, let her put her bags down before you knock her over,” Miss Grant calls from inside the apartment, and Kara just laughs at the sheepish way Carter lets her go. He grabs her overnight bag from her and carries it diligently away, presumably to the room she will be staying in.
She hesitates at the door for a moment before Miss Grant calls to her and all but orders her inside. Kara slinks awkwardly into the kitchen to find her boss pulling something out of the oven.
“I presume you haven’t eaten yet,” she says, “and you’re just in time for lasagna. Sit down.”
Kara does as she’s told. It’s strange, seeing her boss like this. Despite the horrific event today she seems so loose here in her own home in casual clothes. Somehow the persona of Cat Grant media mogul has fallen away here, and she’s just Cat. Honestly its unnerving.
“Do you need any help?” Kara offers weakly, but Miss Grant just waves her away.
“Just sit. You’re our guest. Carter is so glad you’re here.”
Kara smiles.
They eat dinner together.
Kara asks Carter about his chess competition and the two adults quietly enjoy the sound of his voice. He’s alive, and he’s here, and he has a lot of very pointed opinions about chess. It is such a relief.
After dinner, Carter insists they play Settlers of Catan. Kara’s never even heard of it before (much to the Grant’s shared horror) so they quickly walk her through the game play. She catches on quick; she’s good at strategy games and before she knows it she’s actually beating both of them. One death glare from Miss Grant stalls her resolve, however, and she manages to just barely lose to the older woman. By that point Carter’s asleep against his mother’s side (he had a rough day, after all) and Kara waits patiently while Miss Grant walks her sleepy son to his room.
A few moments later she returns with two glasses of wine.
“I don’t appreciate people going easy on me, Kiera.” She takes a slow, measured sip, never taking her eyes off the younger girl. She takes a seat on the couch a little too close to Kara. Kara shifts away subconsciously.
“What are you talking about? I would never.” She totally would. She totally did, in fact. Kara flashes her a guilty smile. Miss Grant scowls.
“You know you can’t lie to me, right? I see right through you.”
Kara doesn’t know what to say, the truth of that statement weighing heavy in her throat. Her entire life was a lie and yet the way she interacted with Miss Grant wasn’t. She took a long drag of her drink, avoiding eye contact. Miss Grant laughs before taking pity on the girl.
“Mmm. We'll have a rematch, then, and I expect you to be on your best game.”
Kara smiles at that.
“I will be, Miss Grant.” Something seems to soften in Miss Grant’s eyes at that, and after a moment she quietly speaks.
“You can call me Cat, here,” she says, gesturing vaguely with her hand to the room around them, “In situations like this.”
Kara nods and takes a slow breath. Cat. It feels scandalous, even saying it in her mind. Miss Grant is a titan standing on top of an empire, a woman who has climbed and fought her way to power. Cat is a woman sitting a little closer than what might be viewed as appropriate with a glass of wine in her hand and a soft smile on her face. It’s a hard juxtaposition to handle.
“Okay, Cat.”
Its strange on her tongue. She likes it.
“Thank you again, Kiera. Sincerely. You saved my life today.” Carter is my life.
There’s moisture in her eyes and she won’t break Kara’s stare and Kara can feel warmth traveling through her body from head to toe just at the sight of her. Slowly, hesitantly, Cat places her hand on Kara’s knee. Kara freezes; doesn’t breathe, doesn’t move. Cat’s thumb brushes twice of her skin before reluctantly pulling away. Cat clears her throat and stands, turning away.
"Well, anyway. Let me show you to your room.”
Kara doesn’t let her breath out until long after Cat has gone to bed.
It’s not a thing, whatever it is that’s happening between them.
It doesn’t mean anything that Kara spends the next night there. There’s nothing weird about spending your Sunday playing board games with your boss’ son while she works on the couch.
Besides, the DEO is suffocating without Alex there, and being with the Grants is literally part of her job description so there’s no reason for her to feel guilty for it. Nothing unusual is happening between them, they are just people who experienced a traumatic event spending time together.
There’s nothing significant about them staying up late the next night, talking on the couch over wine. So what if she genuinely enjoys this, genuinely enjoys the feeling of Cat pressed slightly against her side while recounting the insane things she used to do when she worked at the Daily Planet. It doesn’t mean anything if she feels a slight tug in her chest at the way Cat looks at her with her slightly glazed drunken eyes, her expression so open and honest. That doesn’t mean there’s anything there, right?
Oh, who is she kidding.
She knows they both feel it.
Dammit.
The next time they really feel it is Christmas Eve night.
There hasn’t been any more sleepovers in the two weeks its been since the kidnapping incident, but Carter does insist on coming to the office every few days to hang out at Kara’s desk. It makes her nervous, having him there every day when she knows that CatCo could be a target in an attack. He’s such a good kid and she just wants to protect him so much, him and his mom.
She tries not to think about his mom so much.
They are the only ones still in the office, just Kara and Cat working on the next publication.
Everyone was given the option to take the day off or work for pay-and-a-half, and Kara and Winn were the only ones to take up that offer. They both have the same two reasons: the first is their primary mission at the moment is to protect CatCo at all costs. The second is that they have no place to be.
The DEO isn’t big on celebrating, and while Kara still doesn’t totally know what Winn’s life was like before they met she does know how uncomfortable he gets around the holiday season. Not a big fan of Santa, he tells them. He freak me out. The way he sneaks into your house and leaves toys… I don’t like toys.
Neither Alex nor Kara fully know how to interpret that, but they work hard to make him feel included whenever they do anything. Life took away their old families so they needed to form a new one with just the three of them. They are stronger together.
Eventually Winn runs out of work to do and slips out, heading back to the DEO for a night cap with some of the other family-less agents. Kara stays and continues to work well into the night alongside Cat on one of the couches. They sit like that, side by side, for hours. Neither of them speak for a long while until finally Cat can’t handle it anymore.
“Why are you here?”
She doesn’t necessarily mean to snap, but she’s frustrated with this work and she’s frustrated with the woman sitting beside her. Always so willing, always going far beyond the extra mile in her hideous skirts and cardigans. Always smiling at her, no matter what she says. It’s infuriating.
“You’re still working so I’m still working.”
She says it so simply, like it’s not nine thirty on Christmas Eve night, like she isn’t some severely underpaid employee working for the toughest employer in National City (voted number one for the last five years!). Everything about this girl is so confusing, so ridiculous. So frustrating.
Cat shifts uncomfortably, adjusting her skirt.
“It’s Christmas. Don’t you think it’s a little ridiculous to still be here?” Kara shrugs noncommittally.
“Shouldn't you be home with Carter?”
There’s fire in Kara’s eyes, something Cat only sees in rare moments like this. It’s dangerous territory and they both know it. Cat scoffs.
"His father worked very hard to get him for Christmas this year and I would rather not be stuck at home alone tonight. It'd be much easier to just keep working.”
Kara doesn’t know what to say to that. Her ex-husband is always a touchy subject for Cat, especially when it comes to Carter. There’s a lot of pain there just under the surface. It seems to permeate through the room, its weight resting heavy on their shoulders.
Kara tries to deflect.
”I’ve never been a big fan of Christmas, honestly.”
"What? Sunny Shaw doesn't love Christmas? And here I thought nothing could surprise me. Do you not at least have family to visit and tolerate?"
"My foster sister is out of town so I've got nowhere to be." She says it without even thinking.
Alex is still MIA.
Aside from the time she had to punch her in the face to save Carter’s life, she hasn't heard a word from her sister. She knows she’s still in the city - Kara can always feel Alex’s presence no matter what - but Hank forbid her from trying to make contact. The terrorists knew her face now, they were sure of it, and if she was seen interacting with Alex again she would be putting her sister in danger. She disagreed with this (I can help her, Hank) but she wasn’t about to disobey a direct order. Not yet, at least. That could change, though, if she sensed Alex was in real danger.
"Foster sister?” Cat says, cutting into her thoughts, “Well what about parents? Or relatives in general?"
Kara’s mind is still with Alex, so she talks without thinking.
"Her parents - my foster parents - died when we were kids. We sort of just grew up in the system. We lived in a group home until we were old enough to venture out on own."
And become spies, she mentally adds. She looks up to see a soft, sad expression on Cat’s face and she realizes just what she's done. How did she let her guard down so much that she would tell her boss something real? How did this woman have such an effect on her? And why was that reserved, sad expression hurting her heart so intensely?
She stutters out with a forced laugh, "but I still get a lovely Christmas card from my social worker every year so I do have that going for me!"
Cat just hums quietly.
“Well,” she finally says to fill in the silence and save the poor floundering girl, “I suppose there are worse ways to spend the holidays than here at work.” With you.
There it is again. Those unspoken words, hanging just on the edge of her tongue. It’s happening more frequently, it has been ever since the day she saved Carter (who is she kidding? They’ve been there since that first interview all those months ago). Kara smiles at that, shifting the tiniest bit closer to Cat.
"Oh yeah. This is way better than sitting at home watching Christmas specials by myself.”
She meant to make it sound like a joke but it just sounded sad. Cat looks away, her mind reeling with this information. She never realized just how much loss was being carried by this sweet, optimistic girl. There is so much about Kiera she doesn’t know. So much about Kiera who goes, unprompted, to cheer her son on when he needs support. Who has seen her at her sharpest and pettiest and still keeps coming in day after day. Who has known immeasurable pain, yet still smiles.
"There is a lot I don't know about you, Kiera.” she finally says, catching the younger girl’s eyes.
“I think that should change."
Something passes between them then, something neither can quite put a finger on. This keeps happening and it’s so dangerous, Kara knows its dangerous, but she can’t help shifting the tiniest bit closer to her. They spend the rest of their night like that, pressed just close enough to each other to be somewhat inappropriate, working away.
When Kara comes in the next work day there is a small wrapped gift box on her desk.
There’s no name on it and she wonders briefly if it is even meant for her. She looks around to see no one’s paying her any mind so she decides to open it. Inside is a cute stoneware coffee mug with Noonan’s logo printed on the side. Tucked inside of it is a generic $30 gift card. No note, nothing else identifying it. Just a mug and a gift card. Kara feels her eyes mist over a little. Cat Grant knows nothing about her - they both realize that - so she didn’t have much to work with. All she knew was that every day Kiera goes to Noonan’s to get her coffee and every day she gets her own from there as well. She likes coffee and this is her favorite brand. It’s not much, but its a start.
“Kiera,” Cat calls from her office.
Kara puts the lid back on the box and places it on her desk before strolling towards her boss. “Do you have the layouts ready?”
Cat doesn’t look up from her work, pointedly ignoring the bright knowing smile on her assistant’s face.
“Yes, Miss Grant. They’re already at printing.” Cat made a small noise of approval.
“Good. That’s all, Kiera.”
Kara nodded but doesn’t move for a long moment. Finally, she says, “Thank you, Cat,” and walks out.
It’s quiet, and Cat pretends not to hear it. Otherwise she would have to reprimand the younger girl for using her first name in the office. She said she could call her that sometimes, yes, but not here. Not at work. It’s not good for employees to start acting like a peer rather than a subordinate, after all. It’s not good to give christmas gifts to select employees. Cat sighs.
She is definitely in trouble.