To Build a Fire
She’s twelve when she reaches Earth, fifteen when the DEO comes for her.
Kal-El is there when she first crashes and he’s so much bigger than he was before. He doesn’t need her protection, not now when he’s already a man, and just like that her one motivation for surviving the end is gone. There’s no grand mission anymore, no reason to be here. Kal-El disagrees, says now she has the chance to live a normal life. She doesn't understand what he could possibly mean by a normal life here on Earth. The sky is so dark here, even with the sun, and the landscape is so flat and plain. The language is strange here and the people dress so differently. What about this planet could possibly be normal? But Kal-El just smiles; he doesn’t understand. He could never understand. He may have been Krypton born, but he was Earth raised. He never knew any better than this strange, confusing planet, and he really doesn’t know how to handle this strange, confused girl.
So he hands her to the Danvers who are as kind and as loving as they can be despite their jarring cultural differences, and without so much as another thought Kal-El leaves and never really looks back.
She reaches out to him a dozen times while the Danvers are still alive, but after a while he stops replying. He has a human life, he had a human childhood. He’s Superman sure, but at his core he is Clark Kent, not Kal-El. He didn’t know Krypton, he doesn’t understand her weird ways. He’s never been good with kids so he doesn’t really try. He leaves her fully in the care of the Danvers.
They do their best, they really do, but at the end of the day she’s really just thankful that Alex is there. Because having someone like Alex in her life is the only way she can handle this strange new world. Kal-El was the closest she had had to a sibling before, but she’s only ever known him as a baby or a man. Alex is her age, Alex is awkward in her own ways, and Alex can empathize with the whole “new body experiencing new things” situation although not to the extent Kara feels. Alex is there for those first terrible steps, when her body reacts with strength she’s never experienced in her life. Alex talks her through the panic, the fear at her own power. Alex helps her hide the burn marks and gaping holes in the walls as they test out just what Kara can do. Alex doesn’t feel the need to treat her like anything but human, and soon she starts to feel like maybe she can be like Kal-El. Maybe she can just be a person, too.
Then the house fire happens.
They’re at school when their shared world ends and even though the Danvers should be at work they’re in the house somehow and they never make it out of the burning building.
(Kara fights for years to get the police reports but the files are classified way above her clearance level)
And now suddenly Kara isn’t the only orphan Danvers child, now she gets to watch Alex’s whole world explode just like her own.
They share the same scars now and their sisterhood is solidified in pain.
When the day comes that the foster system tries to separate them they fight. Alex almost ends up in juvie after assaulting two of the police officers trying to take her to her new home. That night her caretakers are shocked to have Kara knocking at their back door, having found Alex without knowing her new address.
They move Alex three cities over next and she runs away that very first night. The cops find them both together sleeping at a bus station trying to bum enough money to get to Metropolis. Kara keeps shouting about a cousin there they could live with but there is no cousin listed on her file. There isn’t anyone but the Danvers and the Danvers are dead. They decide after that that it’s not worth the energy to separate them for rehoming and they end up in an already overcrowded foster home. They have to share a bed that’s a few inches too short for them, but it’s okay because they’re together and that’s really all that matters.
Kara is still so painfully awkward. In fact its worse now, the pain of repeated loss having amplified her own body discomfort. She’s too strong, too loud, too fast, and sometimes the radical power of her own body overwhelms her to the point that she has to find a place to just hide and breathe. She counts quietly to herself in Kryptonese, rocking with her hands over her ears and her eyes squeezed tight. Alex always finds her like this and pulls her into a hug, letting the younger girl melt into her arms. At this point Alex has learned to count in Kryptonese herself and will count along. Hearing a voice other than her own speak that almost dead language is what brings Kara back. She teaches Alex how to say “I love you” and “sisters.” Together they continue marching on.
The other kids at the home never really take to them. Kara is so awkward and Alex is so angry that they make easy targets for bullying. When one of the other kids mock Kara for her panic attacks, Alex breaks his nose and once again skirts the line between reprimand and juvenile court. But she isn’t sorry and she makes it clear if anyone messes with Kara again she’ll do a lot worse. She’s the big sister, and it’s her job to take care of Kara. She’s all Kara has now.
And at night when the nightmares come and she sees their faces, screaming, surrounded by flames, Kara is the one who pulls her back. Kara is the one who whispers words of comfort into her ear and pets her hair. Kara sings Alex’s favorite songs to her, barely above a whisper so they don’t wake the other kids in the room, and the soft voice in her ear is what helps fight the tears away. Alex may be the protector, but Kara is the heart, and having the constant heat of her body there beside her is enough to dull the nightmares. Kara isn’t going away. She’s indestructible. Fire won’t kill her. A world exploding couldn’t even kill her. Alex has lost so much, but she still has this indestructible girl, and for her that’s enough.
It’s 4:30 on a Friday when their lives change.
They’re walking home after school’s end and Kara is rambling on and on about the play they’re doing next month that she’s hoping to be cast in. Theater is something Kara has really taken to in the past year since the Danvers died, and Alex is just relieved her sister is finding some way to survive. Plus, it’s been helping her learn social cues and how to blend in. Her awkwardness fades away when she’s on the stage, she transforms into whoever it is she's portraying. Kara says acting is what she does every day anyway, so why not have fun with it? Her whole life is an act so it’s not surprising that she’s so good at it.
Alex is so distracted by her sister’s joy that she doesn’t notice the boys until they are right up on them. They’re Kara’s usual bullies from the foster home, and they’ve decided they've had enough of Alex’s attitude.
Before Kara fully realizes they’re a threat one of the boys knocks Alex upside the head with a baseball bat.
It’s a hard hit and Alex drops immediately. The boy has just enough time to raise the bat to strike again when Kara slams into his side, sending him flying a clear thirty feet away. The other boy looks at her in horror and screams monster as her eyes start to glow red, and before she can stop herself she’s blasted him with laser vision.
It’s too strong and she can’t control it (everything smells like burning everything is always burning) and she can’t focus because of the screams so she does the only thing she can do and squeezes her eyes shut as tightly as she can.
She slams her hands over her ears to try and dull the sounds of chaos around her but it’s so loud everything is always so loud and she’s trying to focus on calming down, on staving off the panic that’s starting to grip at the edges of her lungs, but she’s listening to Alex and she’s not sure if the other girl is breathing or not and was that blood she saw before it all went red? She’s overstimulated and she can’t fight the panic attack that’s gripping her now, not when Alex is on the floor and her eyes are still shut and there’s a siren approaching. All Kara can do is scream.
The police find them like that, the two boys Kara attacked sprawled on the ground, Alex unconscious, Kara hunched and screaming. They can’t get her to stop screaming so they put her in the squad car to wait for the ambulances. Her hearts beating so fast she think it might explode and no matter how hard she tries to breathe her lungs never really feel filled and she knows she needs to get control, needs to check on Alex, but right now all she can focus on is the feeling that this is how she is going to die.
By the time they’ve packed the three injured kids into the ambulances Kara’s stopped screaming. Her eyes are still squeezed shut, though, and her hands are still firm against her ears and she won't say anything but the name Alex over and over again. They ask her who Alex is, they ask what happened here (since the three others are unconscious or groaning or sizzling) but Kara is still completely unresponsive, so they do the only thing they can and take her back to the precinct.
The police don’t know what to do with this shuddering, crying girl with no identification on her, so they put her in a single cell. They figure its a calm neutral space for her to regain control and, considering the state the other kids were in, a place to hold what may be a criminal.
Kara’s only fifteen and she’s never even gotten detention before, but what would normally cause an identity crisis for the young girl does nothing to her now, not while she’s still so shaken and anxious. She sits at the bed in the room for what feels like hours, her eyes still closed and her ears still covered, humming quietly to herself.
Slowly she regains control.
The voices start filtering in then, voices from somewhere else in the building that are all talking about her and the boys she attacked and she just wants it all to stop, she really does, but words keep slipping to her ears no matter how hard she tries to tune them out. Words like third degree burns and coma and unlikely to wake up and please make it stop, she just wants all of this to stop.
And then they say Alex Danvers and suddenly she’s at the wall with her hands pressed against it for support and her eyes wide open, staring through the cement at the officers in the other room.
“Yes ma’am, she’s also at the hospital right now,” the cop says, and she can see he’s talking on the phone, probably to their house mother, “No one is entirely sure what happened but we do know she suffered a head injury. They said she’s stabilized for now but it’s not looking too good. Yep, just like the boys. They aren’t sure if any of ‘em will wake up.”
A numbness falls over Kara like a wave, sweeping through her body and carrying her forward to the cell’s door. In one fluid, thoughtless movement she rips it from its hinges and tosses it aside.
The police standing nearby jump in alarm and one reaches out to stop her. With a flick of her arm she sends him hurdling back into a wall. Guns are drawn then and they fire at her, raining bullets down on her small teenage frame only for them to crumble and scatter on the floor. She walks towards the door. Two are brave enough to try to block the exit, guns still firing, so she simply steps to the side and slams into the concrete wall. The wall crumbles like styrofoam and she steps out into the fresh air without another glance before taking off in flight.
It doesn't matter that she doesn't know what hospital Alex is in. Even in this town full of people she can recognize the soft breathing of her sister. She can hear the familiar but faint heartbeat. Is she imagining it, or is it growing fainter by the minute?
She flies faster.
She walks past the front desk, past security and “Employees Only” signs until she finds her room. There’s a nurse in there tending to Alex, but all Kara can see is Alex. Never in all of her life here on Earth has she seen the other girl look so small and young. Her head is wrapped in bandages and she’s hooked up to so many machines and she just looks so, so fragile. The nurse is surprised by Kara's sudden entrance.
”Miss, you can't be in here,” she says, grabbing at Kara's wrist to drag the girl away. She's shocked to find its like trying to pull on a wall. Kara pulls her hand free easily and steps around the nurse, moving to take a sit beside Alex’s bed. The nurse tries again only to find her still unmovable. Kara levels a hard stare at the older woman before saying flatly, "I'm not leaving, and there is nothing you can do to make me move.”
And it proves to be true, as hospital security sends guard after guard to remove her only to find her still there perched in that seat by her sister. After six men at once try only to find it like pushing a ton of lead, they give up and instead try to act as if she isn't there at all. Kara prefers that.
Kara sits there for seven more hours before they come for her. She can sense them before they're even inside the hospital; they radiate energy in a way she's never encountered before and the feeling of their approach causes her skin to prickle. There are three of them, but two stop in the hallway by the door posted as guards, while the third enters the room confidently. Kara doesn't bother to look at him, refusing to look away from her sister.
"Kara Danvers," the man starts expectantly. She refuses to look though so he continues, "my name is Hank Henshaw. I'm here to help you and your sister."
At that she looks up.
It takes the man less than an hour to convince her, and really it only takes that long because he waits until the end to mention Alex. He starts his pitch by talking about justice and the greater good when really he should have begun with his closing statement: “And, finally, we can get your sister the best medical treatment in the country. We can help her wake up."
That's really all he needed to say.
"What do I need to do?"
She tries to control the desperation in her voice, but it's hard to stay cool when the only thing that keeps her grounded is hooked up to a breathing machine.
"Come with us."
And so she does. She allows herself to be moved aside as new doctors come in, doctors that work for this Henshaw man. She watches like a hawk as they move Alex out to the private ambulance waiting outside. The entire ride she holds her sisters hand, stroking it gently with her thumb, and she worries that this may be a mistake.
They drive for what feels like hours through the desert before finally reaching a plain unassuming facility. While the outside is monochromatic and flat, the inside bustles with life and activity. It seems to be built into the rock beneath the desert floor and she can see computers and technology more advanced than she’s ever seen on Earth before. Some of this looks Kryptonian, she thinks to herself, but that thought is lost to the movement of Alex’s gurney. She jogs beside it as Alex is raced down a hallway to a new, brighter wing designed like a hospital. The EMT pushes her sister through double doors but turns to stop her from following.
"You have to stay out here, miss.” Kara instantly sees red and is about to start yelling when a firm hand falls on her shoulder. She turns to see Henshaw glowering at the man.
"It's fine. She can go in."
He apparently carries authority here as the man immediately steps aside and she is allowed to go with Alex into the medical bay.
Coming here was a life saver, they inform her after running multiple tests on Alex. Brain swelling from the injury has escalated to a dangerous level that required immediate surgery. The small country hospital she had originally been taken to really didn’t have the necessary equipment to handle Alex’s case, but this facility is fully prepared to begin surgery.
They tell her everything is going to be okay.
She isn't able to go into the final surgical room with her sister but Henshaw allows her to wait in the hallway. That's fine with her though as she can watch everything with her X-ray vision, seemingly oblivious to the strange looks doctors were giving her for standing, unmoving, staring at a wall. It’s painful to watch. It’s terrifying, watching strangers cut into her sister like that, but she has to believe this is helping. Henshaw stands nearby, not touching her like before but not far enough away to seem unintentional. His presence is comforting even if he is a stranger. It’s nice to not feel so alone right now.
The surgery lasts six hours due to complications, and by the end of it there are two hand shaped indents in the wall outside of her surgical room. It took all of Kara’s inner strength not to push all the way through and grab her sister right off the table. “Trust them,” Henshaw told her, but not moving to stop her, “we’re going to take care of you both now.” In that moment she feels all of the pain of her fifteen years and finally, finally allows herself to cry.
Alex wakes up three days later.
It feels like an elephant decided to tap dance right on her cranium and there are spots in her vision while she adjusts to the harsh lighting of the hospital room. A rush of anxiety hits her - where am I? - but she feels herself relaxing a bit when she sees Kara perched in a chair by her bed, her head lulled to the side in sleep.
She tries to say her name but all that happens is a hoarse whisper (her mouth is so dry and it feels like she hasn’t spoken in years) but the tiny sound is enough to wake her. Kara bolts upright and immediately grabs her hand with a gasp.
“Hey, sweetie,” she says, her voice unnaturally high, and Alex knows it must be really bad because Kara never calls her sweetie. She tries to sit up but Kara holds her down with a firm but gentle hand.
“No no, you’re still recovering from surgery. Don’t move.” Kara can see the question in her eyes and says, “you got hit in the head pretty badly, but you’re okay now. You just need to rest.”
Alex doesn’t really remember what happened but she seems to be safe and Kara is here telling her everything’s okay. For her, that’s enough. She closes her eyes and falls back asleep.
Consciousness comes and goes over the next week, but every time she comes back Kara is still sitting there by her side. Her thinking is a little slow right now (Kara says it’s from the surgery she apparently had) but Kara feeds her small details about what happened. They were jumped, she got hurt, now she’s safe. Any questions about their attackers are painfully deflected, and Alex stops asking. It doesn’t matter. They’re safe and they’re together. That’s the only thing she ever really cares about.
Kara is definitely not telling her something else, though, she can see it in her jittery eyes and flamboyant gestures. Something is going on outside of this hospital room, something that involves the both of them, and she wants to know what the hell it is. Why hasn’t their social worker visited yet? Why is this hospital so quiet? It feels like she’s the only patient in the whole building. And it may be the head injury, but she’s pretty sure she’s never seen half the outfits Kara has been wearing this week. Where is she getting these clothes from?
Kara deflects and deflects and deflects, but Alex is nothing if not persistent and inevitably her sister’s wall crumbles.
“Okay, so,” deep breath, “some things have changed since you’ve been out.”
She pauses, but Alex just raises her eyebrows expectantly. Go on. Kara sighs.
“We’ve, uh, we’ve actually been….. adopted." She tries to keep her voice steady but it's kind of hard to do that when you're starting to cry. Alex immediately goes into Big Sister Mode and grabs her hand. Kara smiles at the contact. It’s so nice to have Alex back.
“Okay, well that’s a good thing, right?” Kara doesn’t say anything. “Who adopted us?" She speaks slowly, keeping her voice level. She has to be calm one right now it seems. Kara sighs before gesturing to the hospital room like it’s obvious.
“The, uh, the government.”
“The government,” it’s a flat, skeptical statement. Tears finally break and slide down Kara’s face.
“They found us because I,” a haggard breath, “I used my powers to fight off our attackers, and it got out of hand and- and they knew exactly who I was and where I’m from.”
Alex sits up so suddenly at that only to recoil back in pain, her head feeling like a bomb had detonated right at the base of her skull. Kara jumps out of her seat and grabs her, trying to calm her down, but Alex keeps trying to get back up.
“Kara we have to leave now, i-if they know then we’re not safe. We have to go, Kara!”
Their struggle is interrupted by Henshaw’s entrance.
“Miss Danvers, it’s dangerous for you to be moving like that.”
Alex’s face falls into a hard, angry expression. Big Sister Mode just upgraded to high alert.
“Who the hell are you?” she spits out, and Kara flashes Henshaw an apologetic look. He just smirks.
“My name is Director Henshaw, I’m the person who saved your life.”
Alex isn’t receptive to him at first.
She argues and growls out rebuttals at everything, but it’s like he knows exactly what she’s thinking before she says it. Every fear and doubt she has he addresses before she even says a word, and reluctantly he persuades her. Kara beams at her, grabs her hand and laces their fingers together drawing a reluctant smile from Alex. She doesn't totally understand what this means for them or what is coming next, but Kara is smiling at her with that sparkle in her eyes and really, as long as the two of them are together it’ll be enough.
Gradually they learn about where they are and what’s going on. They learn about the Department of Extra-Normal Operations. They learn about how important the work the DEO does is for the world, how they are the one thing keeping humanity safe from the real threats that face it. They learn what roles they will play, now that they are a part of that organization. Kara learns that she can do work that helps people, that makes the world a better place. She finds a mission to live for again.
And really, life with the DEO isn’t so bad. They live in a two bed shared dormitory room within the facility. Its plain and militaristic, but after some careful persuading and puppy dog eyes from Kara they are able to convince Henshaw to buy some posters to hang on the walls. Alex covers her side of the room with scenic shots of forests and landscapes (it’s been weeks since they were allowed outside and she really misses the sight of anything that isn’t grey). Kara covers her wall with playbills from her favorite musicals and plays. She’s sad that she won’t get to audition for that school play she was so excited for, but Director Henshaw assures her that she will have lots of acting opportunities in her future.
It takes time for Alex to recover, so she spends the majority of her days resting in her bed or sitting at the sidelines watching Kara train. That’s all they do here, really. They train and train and train. The people in charge know all about Kara’s abilities and how they work, in ways she doesn’t even know, and they spend hours on end running exercises to teach her better self control. They train their minds as well, much to Alex’s disdain, but sitting in a class of just her and Kara is infinitely better than their public school experiences. Their teacher is sharp and harsh, and they both find themselves learning more than they’ve ever learned before under his guidance.
And it's hard work and long hours but Kara hasn't been this happy since before the Danvers died. It's just so nice to finally have some guidance on her abilities after struggling alone for so long. Finally she has someone to look to who knows who she is and wants her to actually use her strengths rather than hide them. They know her origins, they know the Danvers. They know about The Incident (she can still smell the burning flesh and hear the thud of bones breaking and if she thinks too long on it the screams come back). She’s too afraid to ask what happened to the boys, too afraid of the answer. Regardless, they know what monstrous things she’s capable of, and yet they still see potential in her. For the first time since she found out Kal-El had grown up without her she feels like she has a purpose.
After two months at the facility she finally asks about him. She’s been stewing on it, mulling over how they could know so much about her already, and the only answer she can think of is her cousin. This is the first time in a long time that she’s mentioned him out loud, although she thinks about him almost every day. Even after feeling so abandoned for so long she still thinks about him.
They confirm that they do know him and have worked with him before. That’s where they got all their information on Krypton and her powers. She asks if there’s any way they could contact him on her behalf, if they could arrange for them to talk. Henshaw looks pained at the request and simply says he will see what he can do. He never mentions it after that, though, and it’s a long time before she works up the nerve to ask again.
Instead she throws herself into her studies and training with Alex joining her once she’s fully healed. They work hard together. Kara is able to almost fully master her abilities as well as her academic studies, graduating from their version of high school a year early. Alex excels at science and, through a very important reference from a government official, is accepted to a top scientific university. She attends and leaves their small little world for a while. Her years of DEO life make college somewhat suffocating and she desperately misses Kara, so she’s thankful when she graduates and can come back home. Her education is fully paid for by the government in exchange for a guarantee of services, and she has a job at the DEO waiting for her. Kara is not far behind, although she instead chooses to major in Theater, finally getting a chance to act. These skills come in handy when she graduates as her role within the DEO requires frequent acting. She makes a perfect spy.
Immediately after graduation they’re placed on a new team headed by Director Henshaw himself. Here they meet Winn Schott, an awkward but kind computer specialist who was also a foster child raised in DEO training, although at another facility they've never heard of (their team is quickly nicknamed Orphan Squad by the other agents). Kara can’t help but wonder how many of them are out there, these children raised to be spies and warriors. She doesn’t really dwell on it, though, not when there are crimes to solve and intergalactic criminals to detain. And they work well together, the three of them, with Kara’s strength and Alex’s bravery and Winn’s technological insight. They quickly become the A-team within the facility.
This prestige is what lands them the biggest case they agency has ever faced.
“CatCo? What the hell is CatCo?” Alex drawls, staring at the file in front of her. This mission looks extensive and she’s weary about the potential commitment ahead.
“You haven’t heard of CatCo?” Winn’s voice is thick with shock and horror, “It’s only the biggest media corporation in the country! Maybe the world!”
“Hmm. Not a big fan of media,” Alex responds with an eye roll. They work well together in the field but Alex sometimes finds Winn’s enthusiasm for all things nerdy grating. Kara, always trying to keep the peace, pushes their focus back on the task.
“Why are we infiltrating CatCo, Director?”
Henshaw, who has been watching quietly this whole time with limited interest, is pleased to have the attention back on their mission.
“Our intelligence suggests that the terrorist group Eco-Now is planning an attack on the company’s headquarters within the next few months. We aren’t sure if it will be a technological or physical assault, but we know they are planning to take control of the media outlet in order to spread their message globally.”
“That’s all well and good, Director, but what does that have to do with us? Why isn’t the FBI on this?” Alex asks.
“We have reason to believe they are being led by some of the escaped Kryptonians from Fort Rozz.” Everyone in the room immediately tenses up at this. Kara smiles softly, shaking her head to tell them to relax. It’s been three months since their arrival - the arrival of more people like her - and everyone is always walking on eggshells around her whenever they’re mentioned. They shouldn’t, she assures them, because while they may share a home planet those people are nothing like her. She’s a soldier for good, she works and fights and schemes to protect this planet. They are here to cause mayhem and destruction. They are nothing like her.
“So what do we need to do?” Kara asks, breaking the tension. Henshaw passes them each a packet with their role description.
“Alex, there is a protest scheduled against global fracking next Wednesday. We have reason to believe Eco-Now members will be in attendance. You are going to attend and hopefully establish contact. You will be our offensive front.”
Alex laughs, looking over the character description in her packet. “So I’m a free-love hippie type? Right on.”
“Kara and Winn, you two will be on the defense. CatCo global has an open IT position available on its main business floor.” Winn pumps his fist up, excited.
“Alright! Finally something I can actually put on my resume!”
He smiles at Henshaw who just stares back, annoyed. Alex rolls her eyes but Kara mercifully flashes him a grin, and that’s enough to satisfy him.
“What about me?” Kara asks. Henshaw sighs, wiping his eyes slowly.
“Your position is the hardest and the most crucial. We have reason to believe the CEO of CatCo - Cat Grant - is a primary target and may be in danger. You will be going in to make sure she remains safe.”
“So, like a body guard?”
“An assistant actually. She conveniently just fired her last one. Your interview is on Monday.” Kara smiles, confused by his grim face.
“That’s great!” her smile falters, “That is great, right?”
Henshaw hums noncommittally. He’s met Cat Grant multiple times and he’s seen the way she treats her subordinates.
“It’ll certainly be interesting,” he finally says. Kara still smiles at that and he almost feels guilty for throwing her into the lion’s den, but he’s seen the young girl on the field before. She’s a lot stronger than she seems, and if anyone could handle the might that is Cat Grant it’s Kara.
"It'll be very, very interesting."