Satellite

Daichi looked at his reflection. The steam from his shower settled and he he slung a towel low around his waist. He watched drops of water fall from his hair, wet his shoulders, and run down his chest.

Bokuto and Kuroo bothered him enough to work out before work a couple times a week, so he wasn’t in terrible shape, but there was definitely room for improvement. Daichi put a hand on his stomach. Suga’s cooking certainly hadn’t helped. For some reason, Suga stayed slim while Daichi put on weight. Life wasn’t fair, Suga had reminded him. ‘Should I stop cooking for you?’ he had asked with a smile and a wink.

He straightened up and watched the muscles flex in his shoulders and neck. He would never admit it aloud, but he had always wished he was taller. He made up for it in volleyball, stayed low to the ground, learned techniques to make up for what he lacked, but he was self-conscious about it all the same. Oikawa towered over him. Daichi wondered if Suga found taller guys more attractive.

“Can’t think about this right now,” he muttered to himself. He readied his razor to shave and rubbed his cheeks. It wasn’t even about that, Daichi thought. Oikawa had paid him for sex. Because that’s what Suga did.

Daichi brought the razor to his face and started to shave. Every time he closed his eyes, he saw Oikawa kissing Suga’s skin, holding him down. Suga was a sex worker. Had been for years. Oikawa had hired him. Suga had stood in front of him with a sheet wrapped around his shoulders and bruises on the soft, porcelain skin of his neck. Daichi felt a growl rise his chest and tried desperately to focus on the blade next to his skin.

After shaving, he ran his hands through his hair. He would have to get it cut again soon. The memory of his last haircut wrapped its shadowy fingers around his heart and squeezed. He had gotten his hair cut at the cheapest place he could find and it showed. As soon as Suga saw it, he doubled over in laughter and teased him about it mercilessly. Every time Suga teased him, though, he casually ran his hands through Daichi’s hair. He bit his lip. What was life like before Suga? What would life be like without him?

He rubbed lotion on his face and tried to ignore the bags under his eyes. What would happen after the show? He heard his phone ring down the hall and hurried to answer it.

When the time came, he drove to meet Asahi and pick up the rental car that Suga had arranged the day before. Daichi went over the schedule that Suga had set out for him the day before. After dropping Asahi off at the rental agency, Daichi would go over to Noya and Tanaka’s place to meet Tanaka and load equipment. Yamaguchi left his keyboard there to make things easier, but Tsukishima insisted on having his guitar on him, something about not trusting a single one of them. Once they were all set loading, he and Tanaka would pick up Kageyama and head to the bar.

Neither Asahi nor Daichi had much to say on the way to the rental place. Daichi waited outside and, when Asahi gave him the signal from the entrance of the rental agency, Daichi started his truck. Asahi would be off to the café to meet Suga and Hinata and wait for the end of Noya’s shift. Then, he would find Yamaguchi and Tsukishima and they would all meet at the bar.

Daichi let his mind wander when he pulled up to a red light. Tonight would be the first time Hinata and Kageyama were thrown together since the kiss. He and Suga would be together again.

He grimaced. Everything in him screamed to go to Suga, apologize, run his fingers through his silvery hair, rub his thumb along his cheek, kiss the mole beneath his left eye, and tell him that he loved him until he was hoarse. But he wouldn’t. He couldn’t? Life wasn’t fair. Suga had said it himself.

Noya and Tanaka’s house came into view, so Daichi signaled, pulled into the driveway, parked, and took one last look at himself in the rearview mirror. The show must go on.

Tanaka answered the door and Daichi was surprised to see that Tanaka looked just as tired as he did. Daichi mentioned it and Tanaka snorted.

“Well gee, Daichi, I wonder WHY I’m beat? Couldn’t be because we have been practicing a million hours a week, hm?”

“You guys needed it,” Daichi said seriously. “And you weren’t practicing the whole week. Don’t exaggerate.”

“No, Daichi, not the WHOLE week,” Tanaka eyed him and started grabbing equipment.

Daichi hummed. He knew Tanaka was referring to the night everyone spent with Suga. When Asahi had texted him to let him know that they wouldn’t be practicing, Daichi had accepted it outright. He didn’t have the heart to practice and wouldn’t have been able to hide it. He had spent that night drinking beer and staring at his bedroom wall.

“Y’know, you don’t have to tell us what happened, but you need to fix things with Suga,” Tanaka said cooly. It was a tone of voice the he reserved only for guys trying to hit on Kiyoko and it put Daichi on edge.

“Not sure that’s any of your business,” Daichi responded in the same dark tone, which made Tanaka drop the snare drum in his hand and groan loudly.

“Are you serious right now? Dude, the guy was barely holding it together. I think he only hit each of us once the whole night. That must be some kind of record.”

Daichi laughed and Tanaka kept talking.

“He seemed the same, all smiling and snarky, but something was off. We hate seeing him that way and it sucks and I feel like the ball might be in your court.”

Daichi stopped what he was doing to face Tanaka. “There are no courts. And there are no balls.” Tanaka let out a howl of laughter and Daichi waited until he stopped giggling to continue. “I get what you’re trying to say, but he rejected me when I confessed. And then he felt like he couldn’t be honest with me about something really big. What’s left for us?”

Tanaka squinted at him. “What’s left for you? You’ve got to be kidding me. And did he really reject you? Or did you just do the thing where you think you know exactly what’s going on but don’t really notice and just hear what you want to hear?”

“I don’t do that,” Daichi mumbled. He remembered that night, or at least he thought he did. He remembered Suga’s weight on his lap and the tears that streamed down his face when he said he couldn’t. “Do I?”

“Ya do, but it’s okay. You have redeeming qualities,” Tanaka grinned.

“Wow. Thank you,” Daichi joked and looked around the room. “But, as much as I love your pep talks, we need to finish packing at some point. Preferably before the show starts.”

“Yeah, yeah,” Tanaka grumbled as he grabbed a handful of cables.

On the way over to Kageyama’s house, Tanaka leaned back into the seat and let out a long sigh. “Well, you’re gonna do what you’re gonna do, and I don’t really know what’s going on, but Suga’s always struck me as pretty brave. I mean, he had to drop out of school and make his own way. Then he lost his job, but still managed to deal with us. And now, on top of it all, you’re being kind of a dick.”

Daichi stared straight ahead and gripped the steering wheel.

“Even if he DID do something, takes two to tango. Honestly, he’s probably one of the bravest people I know and, not gonna lie, I know a lot of people,” Tanaka added smugly.

That was the last straw. “I get your point. Just.. let’s not do this now? I don’t know if you remember, but there’s a big show tonight? One that you are playing in? Ringing any bells?” Daichi reached over to smack him upside the head.

Tanaka laughed and dodged Daichi’s strike.

Daichi glanced at Tanaka before returning his eyes to the road. “For a guy that just bangs sticks on drums all day, you’re pretty observant.”

“Eh, I’m pretty much the best wingman in the country,” Tanaka paused, “nay, the world!”

Daichi rolled his eyes. He was just about to ask about his qualifications, but Daichi’s phone vibrated and cut off the conversation.

Tanaka swiped the phone and, before Daichi could stop him, he narrated the messages. “Just Asahi. Says he picked up Tsukishima and Yamaguchi early and now he’s going to the café to wait for everyone else and then meet us at the bar.”

“Good,” Daichi hummed. They spent the rest of the ride to Kageyama’s house in comfortable silence. Tanaka tapped out some of the songs from the setlist on his lap and Daichi followed along on the steering wheel.

They pulled up in front of Kageyama’s house and Daichi barely had to stop. Kageyama jumped up from the front porch and scrambled to meet them. He squeezed into the back of the truck with his guitar and they were off to the bar.

Daichi looked into the rearview mirror. “Nervous?” He asked.

Kageyama looked at Daichi in the mirror. “No.”

“Not even about your song?”

Tanaka perked up and turned around. “Yeah! Tonight’s the night! It’s gonna be great!”

“I agree. Hinata’s going to love it,” Daichi confirmed.

Kageyama’s features softened and looked at each of them sheepishly. “You think so?”

Tanaka nodded enthusiastically and Daichi went over the setlist in his head. He thought about the way Hinata would react to seeing Kageyama sing, instead of the other way around.

“Hey Kageyama, remember that song that you and Hinata played at the party?” Daichi asked suddenly.

He thought about it for a second before his eyes lit up with recognition. “Change?”

“Is that the title?” Daichi made a mental note of it. “Why didn’t either of you mention it when we were pulling songs for tonight? I don’t think it would’ve been too hard for us to learn, and it was kind of slow, but it might’ve fit nicely in the set. It was stunning.”

Kageyama cocked his head. “Suga never really gave us permission to use it.”

“Suga didn’t give you permission?” Daichi was confused. “I know he has all of us on a pretty tight leash, but I’m sure he would’ve agreed if you played it for him. It was really incredible.”

“Played it for him?” Kageyama asked. “Suga’s heard it before. He wrote it.”

Daichi’s head jerked back in surprise. “Must’ve been an old song, then.”

Kageyama shook his head. “He wrote a couple days before the party. Hinata was being an idiot and snooped around in his papers. He got attached to it before Suga could take it away.”

He tried to put the timeline together. Suga wrote it just before the housewarming party, which meant that it was probably written after Daichi’s confession. Why didn’t Suga show him?

All of the pain, hope, and struggle of the song came back to him. Daichi thought about the lyrics that stuck with him.

Knowing right, being wrong. How bad, how good, does it need to get? How many losses, how much regret, would make you turn around? Would make you change?

It was painful to admit, but Tanaka had been right. Suga went through so much alone. He lost his job, he fell back on what he knew so that he could what? So that he could continue to be there for everyone? Daichi felt something like anger bubble up inside of him. Why didn’t Suga let him help?

Then it hit him. It hit him hard. Suga never let him in because he was afraid that Daichi would run. And he did. He ran away when Suga needed him the most. Daichi inhaled sharply.

“Isn’t that the bar?” Tanaka pointed out as they whizzed by the building.

“Crap!”

Daichi looked for a place to turn around safely and found his chance at the next intersection. Daichi turned into the service alley behind the building and parked the car.

The back door opened and they were greeted by Noya’s excited shouts. Daichi took a deep, steadying breath and looked back at Kageyama, who had an impressive look of determination plastered on his face.

Asahi joined them and they started to unload their equipment into the bar. Amp in hand, Daichi ventured into the bar last.

He saw Hinata and Kageyama eyeing each other on stage. Daichi was afraid that they’d start kicking and screaming, but, after a couple seconds, they both turned to continue what they were doing. Asahi was adjusting the mic stands and Daichi checked the time. At the rate they were going, it would take two hours to set it all up, and he was about to tell them to move it along when a familiar shade of gray caught his eye at the bar.

Tsukishima watched everyone set up with a drink in hand and Yamaguchi, next to him, looked like he might be sick. Suga rubbed his back while talking to Ukai behind the bar. Daichi glared at Tsukishima, who just shrugged, and then he let his eyes linger briefly on the back of Suga’s head before he turned back to the stage.

Once they were done setting up, everyone from the stage gathered around the bar, which had gotten crowded. They formed a circle and Daichi looked across to Suga, who gave him a small nod.

Daichi cleared his throat in order to speak over the gathering crowd. Everyone looked at him expectantly. “You all know the drill. Just remember to listen to each other on stage. Noya’s got our backs off stage, so eyes on him if you need anything. Everyone know the set list? Hinata?” Hinata stuck his hands in his pockets and pulled out a crumpled set list. Daichi gave him a thumbs up and kept going. “Alright guys, let’s get behind the stage and prep,” Daichi paused and swallowed. “Suga? Do you want to say anything?”

For the first time that evening, Suga smiled wide. He took one look around the group before going to each and every single one of them. He whacked Asahi in the side, high-fived Noya, and rubbed Tanaka’s head. He hit Tsukishima in the arm and patted Yamaguchi on the back. He elbowed Kageyama in the side and ruffled Hinata’s hair. Daichi watched everyone smile back at Suga and warmth flooded his entire body.

Suga stopped at Daich, put both hands on his shoulders, and squeezed. Daichi relaxed into his touch. Suga let go and turned to face the band, who were all wearing confident smiles. “Make me proud!” He said with a bright grin.

Daichi addressed the group one last time. “Take to the Skies, let’s do this!”

Everyone cheered and ran to the stage, but Daichi was unable to move away from the man next to him. People from the crowd wove around them.

“You should go, who knows what kind of trouble they’ll get themselves into without their fearless leader,” Suga said with his eyes glue to the stage.

“Yeah, I should,” Daichi managed to say. They needed to talk. They needed to play a show. He turned away from Suga and marched toward the stage.

Once they were all behind their instruments, Daichi looked out into the murmuring crowd. Hinata introduced the band and Tanaka counted them off and the show started. Daichi cleared his mind and took in the music around him like the air he breathed. He let it invade every corner of his mind and focused on the people around him, his friends, and their talent.

Hinata and Kageyama worked together seamlessly, like they had never been apart. Daichi watched them in awe and couldn’t help but smile as they approached the end of the set.

At the end of the official set, Hinata and Asahi jumped off stage but everyone else stayed. Hinata spun around in disbelief, because, to his knowledge, the show was over, but Asahi guided him to where Suga was waiting to hold him in place.

Daichi looked out into the crowd and found a lot of familiar faces staring back at him. Kiyoko and Yachi. His co-workers. Bokuto had one in the air and cheered while the other was wrapped around Akaashi. Kuroo stood next to Kenma, who had his head in his phone but couldn’t hide the way the edges of his mouth turned up into a smile. Kinoshita, Narita, and Ennoshita watched the stage and laughed happily. But where was the person he really wanted to see?

Finally, he found Suga, who stared up at him with caramel eyes and flushed skin. The blue lights from the stage reflected in Suga’s hair, just like the first time Daichi saw him. And, just like the first time he had ever seen him, Daichi was almost floored by how beautiful he was.

Kageyama put his guitar down and stepped up to the mic. He leaned in to speak. “Uh, this is our last song. I wrote it for a dumbass,” Daichi coughed loudly and Kageyama corrected himself, “Sorry, I wrote it for my dumbass.” Daichi rolled his eyes and heard Suga laugh loudly from the crowd. “We’re Take to the Skies and hope you like it. Thanks.”

Kageyama looked at each one of them. Daichi started to strum. Yamaguchi came in on the keyboard. Tanaka came in on the drums and Tsukishima on the bass. Kageyama closed his eyes and started to sing.

    Shining like a work of art,
    Hanging on a wall of stars,
    Are you what I think you are?

Daichi looked for Suga again in the crowd. Suga watched Kageyama with rapt attention, his hands clasped together at his chin. Hinata stood slack jawed at his side and Asahi bobbed his head. Daichi kept his eyes on Suga until he looked back.

    You’re my satellite,
    You’re riding with me tonight,
    Passenger side, lighting the sky,
    Always the first star that I find
    You’re my satellite.

Suga watched Kageyama sing into the microphone and felt Hinata vibrate by his side. He looked to Daichi, who stared back at him like he was the only one in the room.

    Elevator to the moon,
    Whistling our favorite tune,
    Trying to get a closer view...

Hinata started to bounce up and down, his hands raised to his face. Suga’s eyes shone with tears.

    You’re my satellite.
    You’re riding with me tonight,
    Passenger side, lighting the sky,
    Always the first star that I find,
    You’re my satellite.

Suga watched the way Daichi’s muscles moved under the band t-shirt that was now soaked in sweat. His tan skin shone under the lights and Suga felt his breath hitch in his throat. Daichi was his satellite. He was Daichi’s satellite. They wouldn’t give up on each other and they were far from over.

    Maybe you will always be
    Just a little out of reach.

A smile slowly crept over Daichi’s face and it grew until he couldn’t stretch his mouth any wider. Suga responded with a smile of his own.

    You’re my satellite.
    You’re riding with me tonight,
    Passenger side, lighting the sky,
    Always the first star that I find,

Suga’s heart started to race and he grasped Hinata’s hand.

    You’re my satellite...
    You’re my satellite.

Daichi mouthed the last two verses along with Kageyama and Suga put his hand over his heart. The music wound down and stopped. There was a pause before the crowd erupted in applause.

Suga watched as Noya jumped Tanaka from behind the stage. Yamaguchi’s knees practically gave way, but Tsukishima was close enough to support him. Kageyama blinked out into the crowd and Suga let go of Hinata’s hand. He burst forward, scrambled up onto the stage, and leapt into Kageyama’s arms, his legs wrapped around Kageyama’s waist. Kageyama blushed and sputtered as Hinata kissed every part of his face.

Asahi jumped back up on the stage, too, and Daichi brought them all in for a hug before they thanked the crowd and bowed again. Suga ran to the bar to make sure that the tab he set up for the guys was all set. Ukai was busy, so he waited as patiently as he could until he got the go-ahead from the bartender.

When Suga got back to the area in front of the stage, the band had already come down and their group had grown. Suga stood back and watched the landslide of familiar faces descend upon the band. Kuroo and Kenma. Bokuto and Akaashi. Kiyoko and Yachi. Ennoshita, Kinoshita, and Narita. Suga searched the happy group for the person he most wanted to see.

“Where’s Daichi?” Suga asked Asahi. He brushed his long hair, slick with sweat, behind his ear.

Noya popped out from behind Asahi, “Suga! What’d you think?”

Suga tsked him. “Are you really going to make me answer that? Did you not hear yourselves?”

Asahi laughed and Suga looked down to see that they were holding hands. He gasped and pointed, which made Asahi jerk his hand away, but Noya held on tightly and flashed Suga his brightest smile. “Weren’t you looking for Daichi?”

Suga took another look around and still didn’t see him. He glared at the two of them. “I guess. But you guys owe me the whole story later.”

He left Asahi and Noya in search of Daichi, but had no luck. Suga stumbled upon Hinata and asked him.

“I don’t know where he is, but he asked me where you were and I didn’t see you so I said that you left?” Hinata answered.

“That’s the dumbest thing I’ve ever heard. Suga, I think he went out the front of the bar,” Kageyama pointed.

“What the hell Kageyama?! You sing a song about how much you love me and now you’re breaking my heart?!”

“I’m just saying it was dumb! I still like you!”

“You said it was the ‘dumbest’ thing you’ve ever heard. And what do you mean still?”

“I mean I’ll always like you!” Kageyama blurted out.

“I’ll always like you longer!” Hinata yelled back.

Suga had a feeling he wouldn’t get much farther with them and headed to the front entrance.

It was quiet outside the bar and it took Suga a second to acclimate to the silence. He looked around the parking lot for Daichi, but didn’t see him. His heart pounded. He looked around the side of the building, into the service alley, and saw that Daichi’s truck was still there. Suga hated that he was missing the post-show celebration, but he hated this even more.

Dejected, Suga was about to go back into the bar when a figure moved across the street and caught his attention. He looked closely. A very familiar someone paced at the bus stop across the street. Suga saw them reach for their phone and touch the screen. Suga’s phone buzzed in his pocket - incoming call from Daichi. Butterflies filled his stomach and Suga laughed quietly. Phone in hand, he ignored the call and snuck up to the stop.

Suga tapped him on the shoulder and Daichi whipped around and stared at him with wide eyes and an open mouth. His face shone with sweat and his eyes were watery. He moved his mouth, but no words came out.

“Is that how I looked when you surprised me at the bus stop outside your work all those months ago? What’re you doing all the way out here?” Suga asked with mischievous grin.

Daichi rubbed the back of his head and tried a couple times before he was able to speak. “I came off the stage to find you, and you weren’t there. No one knew where you were, and Hinata said you had left, so I was afraid,” Daichi swallowed, “I was afraid you were gone, Suga.”

Suga took a step toward him. “What? Why would I leave?”

Daichi put his hands on Suga’s upper arms. He searched Suga’s face and his lip trembled. “I’m sorry, Suga. I’m so sorry. You needed me and I failed you. Someone told me that I only hear what I want to, or something and I -”

“Tanaka?” Suga asked.

Daichi blinked. “What?”

“Sorry. Nothing. You were saying?”

“Anyway, what I want to say, what I should’ve said a long time ago, is that I want to be there for you. No matter what. It’s crazy, but I knew from the moment I saw you, all those years ago, at that stupid karaoke bar. Suga, I want you to tell me things and I want to tell you things. Everything. I want to take you out on dates, on lots of dates - “ Daichi was out of breath by the time Suga interrupted.

“Hey Daichi?” Suga moved close enough that he felt the heat from his body.

“Hey Suga?” He breathed.

Suga leaned into Daichi and put a hand on his chest. “Can you just shut up and kiss me?”

“Shouldn’t we talk first?” Daichi squeaked.

Suga hummed and moved his head back and forth like he was thinking. “I have a better idea. We could kiss first.”

“Shouldn’t we set an example, for Hinata and Kag -” Daichi stopped talking when felt Suga’s lips ghost over his own.

“Don’t make me ask you again,” Suga whispered.

Daichi would never make him ask again. He pulled Suga flush against his body and leaned in to kiss the man he loved, the man who loved him back.

“About friggin’ time!” Tanaka shouted from the doors. Noya whistled from behind him and Daichi closed his eyes. He was about to shout back at them when Suga took Daichi’s face in his hands and brought their lips together.

It was only them. It would always be them.

When Suga pulled away, Daichi chased his mouth to continue the kiss, but Suga put a finger to his lips and laughed.

“I heard an amazing new band just finished performing and there’s a celebration going on in the bar. We should check that out and continue this,” Suga motioned between them, “later.”

Daichi looked at him through dark lashes, the soft yellow of the streetlights highlighted the golden brown flecks in his otherwise dark eyes. “An amazing band, huh? But I’m pretty happy right here.”

His voice made Suga shudder, but he held his ground. “I also heard that an awesome, generous, incredibly talented songwriter opened up a tab for all the members of that amazing band,” Suga said playfully.

“Open tab?” Daichi’s brows knitted together. “But that’s too much, Suga, you didn’t have to…”

“I wanted to treat you all to something after your hard work, I mean, you guys earned it,” Suga said with forced composure.

Daichi took a step back and held out his hand. “Well, it would be awful to let that awesome, generous, incredibly talented, handsome, wonderful songwriter’s treat go to waste. Shall we?”

Suga felt tears stinging behind his eyes. “Together?”

“Together.”

He grabbed Daichi’s hand and looked ahead. He saw the band gathered by the doors. Kageyama stood with his arm around Hinata’s shoulders. Noya beckoned them over and Asahi smiled wide. He saw the lights spill out from inside the bar, heard the din of the crowd and the hum of the music. He squeezed Daichi’s hand, which made him look back at Suga as they walked toward their friends.

Everything was ahead of him and Sugawara Koushi could finally say that he looked forward to every single minute of it.