Satellite

He stood in front of a closed door, unsure of how he got there but positive he had to open it. The door knob stuck, so he turned it harder. When the door finally opened, he had to shield his eyes from the bright light coming from within the room. He stumbled forward. Suddenly, a loud beeping filled every nook and cranny of his brain.

“What the- “ Daichi mumbled as he fumbled for his phone. He turned off the alarm and rubbed his eyes.

He really hadn’t planned to stay out as late as he did the night before, but his good intentions went straight out the window almost as soon as he arrived at the bar. Smiling, he swung his legs over the side of the bed and made his way to the bathroom.

After a quick shower, he threw on the most casual work clothing he had and wandered into the kitchen to make some coffee. While the coffee brewed, he checked his unread messages.

From: Nishinoya Yuu
damn Dai. thirsty much?

From: Tanaka Ryunosuke
DUDE. just. dude. we didnt have the heart to ask you to take it down a notch. or seven.

He groaned. They weren’t wrong. He held onto Suga like he was in danger of fading away. It wasn’t totally unreasonable, Daichi thought. The guy had disappeared before.

After that night in the karaoke bar, he couldn’t get Suga out of his head. He started hanging out with Asahi more frequently and peppered him with questions about his friend. On good days, Asahi would show him a picture that Suga sent him from one tourist location or another. They’d be selfies of Suga holding up a peace sign and smiling big. Those were good days. Most of the time, though, Asahi would answer with a vague ‘last time we talked, he was okay” and then change the subject. On bad days, Asahi would just shrug and stay quiet.

The years passed and work pulled them both in separate directions. He stopped asking about Suga, not because he didn’t want to know, but because the bad days began to outnumber the good. After graduating, he went to business school, which kept him busy. In his last year, Kuroo, who became an ex shortly after Suga left, got him a job at the nonprofit that he helped manage. The organization collected donations and distributed them to kids in the area, which was how he ran into Asahi again. He taught an after-school program at one of the local elementary schools that Daichi’s organization served.

They started to hang out again and Daichi introduced him to his friends, the same friends they went out with the night before. Suga never came up and Daichi didn’t ask. He accepted that seeing Suga that night was a one time thing, and that the sparks between them were at best fictional and completely one-sided.

It sounded sappy, but he desperately wanted to feel those sparks again. A few months after meeting Suga and breaking it off Kuroo, he continued to search. He went on date after date and refused to lose hope that he would find that connection again. It pained him too much to think that, because he let Suga leave, he lost his only opportunity.

Daichi put his breakfast dishes in the sink, pulled a hoodie over his head, and grabbed his backpack. He hopped into his truck and paused before putting the key into the ignition.

He spent a long time cursing himself for how the night at the karaoke bar ended, so the night before felt like a second chance. When he extended his hand and Suga took it, he decided that he would do everything he could, be whatever he had to be, to keep Suga close. He shivered as he thought of Suga’s hands on the back of his neck and in his hair. He remembered how perfectly his thumbs rested on Suga’s hips and how his silver hair caught blue, green, and purple light from the stage. He put the key in the ignition and drove to work.

When he arrived at the office and donation warehouse, he found the doors unlocked already. He went into the lobby, past the recently vacated reception desk, and entered the office. He found his petite, blonde co-worker alone in the office and scribbling furiously, so he coughed to make his presence known. She jumped at least a foot in the air and knocked the papers off her desk.

“Daichi! Sorry! Hi! I, um, I just wanted to get some extra work done before people came, I should have told you I’d be here, I’m sorry!”

They both kneeled down. “No worries at all,” he looked at her out of the corner of his eye, “but I'm pretty sure you're above your forty hours for the week.”

Yachi sat back on her heels to straighten out the pile of papers in her hand. “I know, I was just really excited about the new poster we want to print next week. I’ll leave in an hour, I promise!”

Daichi laughed and patted the volunteer coordinator on the shoulder as they both got up. “Just take care of yourself, Yachi.”

Yachi’s hair bobbed with each enthusiastic nod. “I will! Thank you!”

She sat back down and continued to work, perhaps a little more frantically than before. Daichi made his way toward his desk at the back of the office.
“Ennoshita always makes me look bad,” Daichi said to himself as he plopped down at his own desk.

Ennoshita’s desk was covered in neon sticky notes; phone numbers, names, donation goals, voicemails were all written down neatly and organized by color. The only thing on Daichi’s desk was a small toy guitar on a stand. He picked it up and ran his fingers over it. His phone buzzed in his pocket, so he put the tiny guitar in its spot and checked his phone.

From: Nishinoya
soooo howd it feel dancing with the bell of the ball last night???

Daichi rolled his eyes as he opened up a group chat.

To: Tanaka, Nishinoya
You both need to relax. And it’s “belle” of the ball.

From: Tanaka
but we havent seen you all up on someone like that in ages

From: Noya
i mean, the disney princess look doesn’t do it for me, but he sure was pretty

From: Tanaka
ya seemed nice too. like a mom or smth

From: Daichi
We’re not talking about this. Didn’t one of you have to work this morning?

From: Tanaka
scheduled to go in an hour. wouldnt want to miss one single second of kiyoko’s silence

From: Noya
hell ya i was on time. made her a drink this morning and she ignored it. was a religious experience.

Kiyoko was Noya and Tanaka’s manager at an independent coffee shop and café that also acted as a gallery and event space. Daichi had met Noya and Tanaka at one of their open mic nights the summer before. Noya and Tanaka were ridiculous human beings, but he could sort of understand their bizarre behavior. Kiyoko was jaw-droppingly beautiful.

From Daichi:
Sounds about right. I have to get to work, so talk later.

From: Noya
gonna call him?

Oh no. He closed the group message and went through his contacts before slamming his head down on the desk. He never asked Suga for his number.

“Daichi?”

He looked up to see the weekend staff gathered around his desk, awaiting his orders for the day. Right. Work. His doomed love life could wait.

After the first shift of volunteers left, Daichi ran to the convenience store across the street. It didn’t take him long to grab a piece of fruit, pay for it, and walk back toward the office, but the presence of someone at the bus stop froze him in place.

“Suga?”

Suga’s head jerked up from his phone. He looked at Daichi like he had just popped out of the concrete. “Daichi?”

“Yeah! Hey!” Daichi’s voice came out both higher and louder than he expected, which made him flush, which made him self-conscious and, in turn, even more embarrassed. He tried to grab onto the fleeing shreds of his dignity. “What brings you to this part of town?”

“I think I got on the wrong bus. I wasn’t paying attention and, all of a sudden, I’m in the middle of this warehouse jungle. Sheesh. You’d think I know more about the town I lived in for so many years, huh?” Suga crossed his arms across his chest, leaned back against the wall of the stop, and cocked his head. “What’re you doing here? Not stalking me are you?”

Daichi didn’t have time to wave goodbye to the rest of his chill.

“No! I mean, no, I work in that building.” Daichi pointed behind him. Suga nodded and Daichi panicked. He was lucky enough to run into Suga twice in one weekend. An idea popped into his head and he decided to roll with it. “This sounds weird, but are you free for the next couple of hours?”

“I was on my way to hand out resumes at the mall, ” Suga patted his leather shoulder bag.

“Good. Right. That’s important. I totally understand if you need to keep at it, but, if you want to put off handing resumes, you can come volunteer at my work? We’re getting ready for the last volunteer shift of the day. You’d just be sorting through donations with other volunteers and, I - uh - sorry, this is crazy, you have better things - ”

Suga cut him off. “That’d be cool, actually, and probably a better use of my time. It’s really not a problem?”

Daichi’s face was serious, but he was downright giddy. “No! No problem. Come on. I’ll get you set up.” He motioned for Suga to walk with him.

Ten minutes later, Suga was working with the other volunteers and Daichi fidgeted nervously at his desk. He leaned back in his chair and looked out at the empty lobby. Huh. He grabbed his phone and chose a familiar contact from the list.

“Hey, sorry to bother….NO, this is not a booty call. When has that ever - nevermind. I have a favor to ask. Do we still have the budget for a receptionist?...Part-time’ll work, I think….I have someone in mind, can you interview him Monday? I’ll get a time….Yeah, yeah, sorry. I owe you one….FINE, I owe you whatever. Just let me know…. Okay, you too, bye.”

He hung up the phone and sat forward in his seat, elbows on his desk. He wasn’t sure how it would play out, but he figured it’d be worth a try. He mustered every ounce of willpower he had and plowed through his own work.

When he spotted people walking through the lobby on their way out, he sprung from his desk and went to look for Suga, who he found helping the weekend staff clean up after the shift. They didn’t notice him, so he leaned against the wall and watched Suga laugh at his co-worker’s jokes as he swept the floor. He felt like he could watch Suga smile all day and never want for anything else.

Eventually, Daichi came out of hiding to thank the the staff for their work and to steal as much of Suga's time as possible. The staff left and Daichi led Suga back to the office.

“How’d it go?”

Suga beamed. “It was fun! I’ve never done anything like this before. I mean, I’ve volunteered, but that was mostly administrative.”

“Oh, where'd you volunteer?”

Suga pressed his lips together and looked right into Daichi’s eyes, like he was searching for something specific. He wondered if Suga found it. “Human rights. I filed paperwork at a few organizations that worked to represent victims of human trafficking.”

“Wow.” Daichi was impressed. Not many people their age took the time to volunteer on their own. He couldn’t wait to get to know this man. “It’s good to be a part of something that empowers people.”

Suga nodded in agreement, but kept quiet. Daichi spoke again. “So, you’re still looking for a job?”

“Yeah. It hasn’t been easy, but, I mean, I get it. I'm not the most qualified applicant” Suga frowned.

“How would you like to work here? We have an open receptionist position, if you’re interested? It’s not the most exciting work, and it’s only part-time, and I got you an interview on Monday. If you’re free. Only if you want.”

Suga met Daichi’s eyes again and his expression was serious. Crap, Daichi thought. Way to overstep your boundaries.

“I’m sorry, I don’t want to be presumptuous. I just saw the empty desk this morning, and then you showed up. You’d probably be bored and it’s no problem if you want to find something better - “

He didn’t know what he expected, but it wasn’t a hard punch to the gut and an exuberant laugh.

“What?! Are you serious? I’d love to work here! Monday’s great!” Suga furrowed his brow in thought. “I don’t want to sound ungrateful, but why me? There must be a million people more qualified than I am.”

“Eh, there are a million people qualified to do every job, including mine. I just think you’d be a good fit.” He left out the part that the idea of seeing Suga at work every day made him want to jump up and down. “Let me just text Kuroo to let him know that you’ll be in tomorrow morning. 10am okay?”

Suga nodded, but looked confused.

“Oh, right. Kuroo’s the office manager, so he’s in charge of office staff. He was the one that got me this job a couple years ago. Is that weird?”

Suga shook his head. “Not at all. It’s cool that you guys are still friends. Not everyone can manage it.”

Daichi hummed as he texted Kuroo. They stood in comfortable silence. Suga checked his phone, which made Daichi’s heart race. He wasn’t ready to let Suga go.

“Do you have any plans after this? Want to grab a coffee?” he said quickly.

Much to his delight, Suga agreed.

“Wait right here while I finish up and lock the building.”

Suga gave him the thumbs up and Daichi walked away. When he was out of Suga’s sight, he ran around the warehouse to shut everything down as soon as humanly possible.

When everything was locked up, they walked to Daichi’s car. It amazed him how easily they were able to talk, about Suga’s morning, about the volunteer experience, about the show the night before. They kept their conversation going right up until they entered the coffee shop.

The bell on the door jingled as he pushed it open and, before he had a chance to breathe, he heard his name. Noya grinned at them from behind the counter.

“Fancy seeing you guys here, all together and stuff,” he waggled his eyebrows.

Daichi felt his eyes glaze over. Noya’s smiled dropped and he turned his head to face a door leading behind the bar. “Tanaka! Bro! Get out here!”

Tanaka burst through the door like a bat out of hell. When he recognized Daichi and Suga, he whooped and came around the counter to greet them.

“Hey-o! You two!” He was about to put his arm around Suga’s neck, but Daichi intensified his glare and Tanaka backed away. Suga put his hand to his mouth and laughed when he saw Daichi staring down the two of them.

Once they were both a respectable distance away from Suga, Daichi cleared his throat. “Shouldn’t you two jokers be working? Wouldn't want to have to call Kiyoko about her employees...”

At the mention of their manager’s name, Noya and Tanaka both cleared their throats, put on the face of Buddha, and put their palms together as if in prayer. They said, in unison, “what can we offer you today, fellow countrymen and dear friends?”

Daichi relaxed when he saw Suga roll his eyes and laugh.

“I think I’d just like an americano, if you two would be so kind.”

Daichi nodded. “Me too.”

Noya turned around to write their orders on cups. Tanaka jumped over the bar and caught the first the cup that Noya threw in his direction.

Once Noya was back at the register, Daichi and Suga both took out their wallets to pay. Daichi tried to convince Suga to put his wallet away, but didn’t have much luck. It wasn’t until Noya sighed dramatically and reached across the bar to grab Daichi’s cash that Suga relented.

Noya hummed happily as he made change. “Suga, not only are you Asahi’s most treasured friend, but Daichi here would have my head if I let you pay.”

“Oh?” Suga said as he leaned on the counter next to Daichi. Their shoulders almost touched. Daichi gulped. “Any why would Daichi have your head, hm?”

Noya crossed his arms over his chest. “It’s not every day that Daichi gets all googly-eyed over someone he just met -”

Daichi reached his hand across the counter to knock Noya in the head, but Suga caught his arm and smiled so brightly that Daichi forgot for a second that he was pissed.

“Alright now. Why don’t we sit down and let the kids work, hm?” Suga motioned to the sofa near the back of the cafe. Daichi glared at Noya. The only thing better than hitting Noya over the head for his smartass remarks would be sitting close to Suga on a couch. As they walked over to the couch, Daichi turned to make the “I’m watching you” gesture at both Noya and Tanaka.

When they were both settled with their drinks, Daichi started explaining how the café accommodated bands during open mic nights.

“But they only have open mic nights during the spring and summer because they're outdoors. We won’t see any of those for a while.” Daichi frowned.

“It’ll give you guys time to practice, though, right?” Suga looked at him over his cup as he took a sip.

“Hm? Oh, the band thing. It’s kind of a stupid idea, right?” Daichi laughed despite himself. His doubts bubbled to the surface. “I mean, I’m too old for that. I can’t just go starting bands.” He felt a warm hand on his knee and thought he might melt into the couch.

“It’s not stupid. It’s cool. And you have awesome friends that seem to want the same thing. I’m crap at following my own advice,” Suga looked across the café, “but there can’t be one single way of being a grown-up, right?”

Daichi resisted the urge to reach out and tuck a stray strand of silver hair behind Suga’s ear. “I guess not. Though I’m no Oikawa.”

Suga removed his hand and put it back on his cup. He looked right into Daichi’s eyes. “A wise man once told me that there will always be a million people better than you at something. Doesn’t mean you shouldn’t do it. And you can find other bandmates to fill in the gaps.”

Daichi let out a laugh. “That’s not really what I said.”

Suga shrugged. “I was paraphrasing.” He looked down at his coffee and bit his lip like he was about to say something, but he stayed silent. “So,” Daichi started. "I remember Asahi saying that you were a writer... Do you think you'd want to help us write songs?"

"I don't really have any experience with songwriting," Suga said matter-of-factly.

“"We don't have much experience either. What if I arranged for a ‘practice’ this weekend? Would you be able to go? Would you want to go?”

“I think I could fit it into my busy schedule.” Suga joked. The smile fell from his face and he cleared his throat. “This is kind of a non-sequitur and you don’t have to answer if you don’t want, but I'm curious. What happened between you and Kuroo?”

Daichi watched his friends behind the counter as he processed Suga’s question. He hated that question. It was a valid one, sure, but it was hard to answer.

“Promise you won’t think I’m lame?”

Suga marked a cross over his heart.

“Honestly? I just always felt like I wasn’t enough, like what I wanted wasn’t enough for him, and it made me feel like crap”

Suga looked at him with wide eyes. “I’m sorry to hear it. And you're not lame for not wanting to be with someone who makes you feel like that."

“Yeah. There were really never any sparks between us, either.” Daichi bit his tongue.

“Ah,” Suga looked at his nearly empty cup. His leg started to bounce. “This might sound really insensitive, but do you mind if I write down what you just said?”

“No?”

“Thanks, sorry, just give me a moment.”

Daichi watched as Suga concentrated on the page, chewed on end of his pen, and mouthed words to himself as he wrote in the small notebook he grabbed from his bag. Finally, he closed his notebook around his pen, put in back in his bag, and leaned back into the sofa with his eyes closed. A soft smile tugged at the sides of his mouth.

“You okay?”

Suga opened his eyes. “More than okay. It’s been awhile since I’ve felt inspired enough to grab a notebook and write. Maybe this means we should hang out more often.”

Daichi couldn’t believe his ears. “Me? Hang out with me?”

Suga poked him in the chest. “Yes, you. Now, it's getting late. We finished our coffees and I promised Asahi I’d cook him dinner. Drive me home?”

He was still reeling from the impossible idea that he could inspire someone else, let alone Suga. “Right. Let’s slip out when it’s busy.”

They got out right as a group of girls wandered into the café, but Daichi caught the kissing noises that came from behind the espresso machine. He cringed and followed Suga out of the cafe.

Sooner than Daichi wanted, they were parked in front of Asahi’s apartment complex. He took a deep breath before spoke.

“Hey, can I give you my number? Just in case you get lost on Monday, or need me?”

“Need you?” Suga winked as he opened a new contact on his phone and handed it over. Daichi blushed and felt heat pool in his gut. He put in his number and handed back the phone, grazing Suga’s fingers as he did. Suga thanked him as he got out of the car and walked in the direction of Asahi’s apartment building.

Daichi pulled away when he saw Suga go through the main doors. On the way home, his phone buzzed with a text. Noya and Tanaka could wait until he got home.

Once he closed his front door, Daichi dropped everything he had and immediately plopped himself onto the couch. He unlocked his phone.

From: Unknown Number
Thanks for today. Don’t know what I can do to repay my debt. Maybe I can make you dinner sometime? At our first band practice?

Finally, in the comfort of his own home, Daichi grinned from ear to ear. He added the number to his contacts.

To: Suga
No debt, but dinner at our first practice would be amazing.

From: Suga
Can’t wait. See you Monday morning :)

Daichi stared at his screen for a second before he responded. He couldn’t remember the last time he looked forward to a Monday.