True Colors

The following morning Tobin wakes up before Alex and decides to order them room service. The room service comes and Alex is still not awake, so Tobin ate hers and some of her significant others.

“Alex, wake up” Tobin says to a still sleeping Alex but there is no response.

“Wake up, lazy” Tobin says with a little more force but again, nothing from the sleeping woman.

The photographer decides to go for a stronger approach, so she picks up one of the pillows that were haphazardly thrown off the bed last night, along with both of their clothes, and whacks her fiancé over the head a couple times. That definitely woke the young soccer player up.

“Tobin, what the hell?” Alex asks in a raspy but threatening voice. Tobin flinches at this but tries to remain clam.

“Sorry but you wouldn’t wake up and I was bored” Tobin says sheepishly and Alex throws the blankets back over her head.

“Order breakfast or go watch T.V.” Alex says.

“I already did, and I ordered breakfast for you.” Tobin says a she lays her head next to her pissed off fiancé.

“Did you eat mine like you did last time?” Alex questions and Tobin pops up out of bed.

“Ya know what? I think I am gonna shower” Tobin says and Alex yells at her because she now knows that half her breakfast is gone.

“How many times have I told you to not eat my breakfast? How many, Tobin?” Alex says as she emphasizes the many part. “I don’t know, Lex. I am sorry though” Tobin says while crawling back over to Alex’s side of the bed and peppering her face with kisses.

“O.K. you’re forgiven if you let me join you in the shower” Alex says with an evil smirk on her face.

“I mean it’s a little small but I guess you can squeeze in” Tobin says very seriously not getting the meaning behind Alex’s statement.

“Whatever Tobin” Alex says storming into the bathroom.

“What did I say this time?” Tobin thinks to herself.

.

“Do you want to grab some lunch then walk around a bit?” Tobin asks a still bitter Alex.

“Yeah, whatever you want to do” Alex says sharply and Tobin picks up on this.

“What’s wrong, babe?” Tobin asks the soccer player.

“Nothing, Tobin, let’s just go” Alex says while grabbing her purse but Tobin grabs her arm and spins her back.

“Tell me what’s wrong or we won’t eat” Tobin says as she crosses her arms and leans on the back of the door.

“I don’t know, Tobin! I just feel so emotional right now!” Alex yells as tears spring to her eyes and Tobin immediately reacts and wraps the younger woman in her arms.

“Hey, it’s going to be fine” Tobin says as she rubs her hand up and down Alex’s back. “You know, last time this happened we went to eat something and you felt 100% better. Should we try that?” Tobin says as she kisses Alex on the top of the head.

Tobin hears a faint ‘yeah’ come from her chest and lifts Alex’s chin to look into her blue eyes and kisses her on the lips. “Pizza?” Tobin asks and Alex nods her head up and down.

“Let’s go, sweet cheeks” Tobin says and Alex laughs while grabbing Tobin’s hand.

It’s a short walk to the pizza place and thankfully no one notices the couple.

“What kind of pizza do you want?” Tobin asks once they get settled in a booth towards the back of the restaurant.

“Will you hate me if I get pineapples?” Alex asks because she knows Tobin hates them on pizza.

“Go ahead, I don’t mind.” Tobin says as she looks lovingly at her fiancé. Man, she will never get tired of saying that.

“But you hate pineapples?” Alex questions the older woman.

“Yeah but I can just pick them off. Today is your day, Lex.” Tobin says and Alex almost cries at the sincerity in her fiancés voice.

“You are a gift from God” Alex says with misty eyes and Tobin laughs.

“We need to discuss some things” Alex says and Tobin rolls her eyes. “Could you possibly not start off all our conversations like that? It makes me feel like you’re going to dump me or something” Tobin says and now it’s Alex’s turn to laugh.

“Is someone a little sensitive?” Alex asks while poking at her fiancés cheeks. “Shut up and talk.” Tobin says while slapping at Alex’s hands.

“You have not met my parents yet and we’re engaged” Alex says while wiggling her ring finger.

“Oh yeah? I kinda forgot you had parents” Tobin says with crinkled eyebrows and Alex rolls her eyes.

“Whatever, anyway we have to go and you have to meet them, like soon.” Alex says and Tobin suddenly gets really nervous.

“W-when is s-s-soon?” Tobin stutters out and Alex smiles at how cute her fiancé is when she gets nervous.

“Tobin, there is nothing to be nervous about. They will love you” Alex says and Tobin takes a deep breath and tries to relax.

“O.K., when?” Tobin asks as she tries to eat the rest of her pizza.

“Well I was thinking that we could just drive over there, like today. Diamond Bar isn’t that far” Alex says sheepishly because she knows Tobin is going to freak.

“Today? Like right now, today?” Tobin asks and Alex slowly nods her head.

“Well, today is your day and if you want to do that then we can” Tobin says while dabbing at the sweat that was forming on her forehead.

“Yay! Thank you Tobs!” Alex yells and leans across the table to kiss the photographer.

Tobin tries to drag out their lunch date my eating at the pace of a turtle, but Alex picks up on this and hurries her fiancé along. Tobin begrudgingly drives the short distance to Diamond Bar and the couple is now sitting in the driveway of Alex’s childhood home.

“You ready?” Alex asks very excitedly. She hasn’t seen her parents in months and can’t wait to get inside.

“As I’ll ever be” Tobin says as she watches Alex get out of the car and run to the front door. Tobin follows behind but not before taking her time to make sure the car is locked.

“Tobin get your ass up here, now” Alex says from the stoop of her parent’s house and Tobin sighs but obeys the younger woman.

Alex knocks twice on the front door and then walks inside, “Hey, I’m home!” Alex yells.

“Alex!” and “Ali-Cat!” are the first things that Tobin hears being yelled throughout the rather large house.

“Hey mom” Alex says as she sees her mom coming around the corner. The mother and daughter embrace each other and Tobin can’t help but be a little jealous of the two.

Tobin sees an older man who resembles her fiancé and she assumes it is her father. “Hey dad” Alex says and Tobin was right.

“Well, hey stranger” Alex’s dad says as she tightly embraces his daughter.

“Mom, Dad this is my fiancé, Tobin Heath” Alex says.

“It is a pleasure to meet you two” Tobin says as she sticks her hand out to Alex’s mother but instead they both pull Tobin in for a double hug. Tobin isn’t sure what to do with her arms so she lightly wraps them around Alex’s parents.

“We finally meet the famous Tobin Heath” Alex’s mom says and Tobin rubs the back of her head out of nervousness.

“Where are my manners, I am Pam and this is Mike” Pam says to Tobin who is now sweating bullets. Alex takes notice of this and tries to hold her fiancés hand but Tobin pulls back.

“Let’s go into the living room, shall we?” Mike says and Pam leads the way.

Alex and Tobin hang back a bit. “Why won’t you let me hold your hand?” Alex asks a very nervous Tobin.

“Your parents were right there, Alex!” Tobin whisper yells and Alex laughs.

“They won’t kick you out because you touched me” Alex says making fun of the photographer.

The pair joins Pam and Mike in the living room sitting on the opposite couch.

“So, Tobin we have heard a lot about you” Pam says skeptically.

“All good things, I hope” Tobin says playfully trying to break the now apparent tension.

“Not exactly” Mike says and Tobin audibly gulps and stares wide eyed at Mike.

“Dad stop, look at her, she is sweating bullets over here” Alex says and Mike stares at Tobin a little longer and then bursts into laughter.

“Sorry sweetie, he does that to everyone” Pam says and Tobin lets out a breath of air.

“Alex speaks very highly of you so no need to worry” Mike says and Tobin smiles at him.

“Yeah, she’s pretty cool” Tobin says looking to her right where Alex is seated.

“You two are so cute!” Pam says and Alex and Tobin both laugh at this.

“Tobin tell us a little bit about yourself” Mike says and Tobin is not sure where to start.

“Umm, well I was born in New Jersey. I went to school at the University of North Carolina and then went to Cal Berkeley to get my masters and doctorate. I am a photographer for a company called Thunder Photography and I guess that is about it” Tobin says and receives a nod of approval from Mike but Pam seems a little skeptical.

“Tobin, do you mind if I ask you some questions?” Pam asks and Alex interferes.

“Mom, is that really necessary?” Alex asks and Tobin puts her hand on her fiancés shoulder. “It’s O.K. Alex” Tobin says and Pam proceeds with the questions.

“What are your intentions with Alex?”

“I plan to marry her”

“Do you love her?”

“With every fiber of my being”

“Will you take care of her?”

“I promise to take care of her”

“You didn’t mention your parents, why not?” Pam asks and Tobin clears her throat to answer.

“They left my siblings and me when I was thirteen” Tobin answers and Pam gasps.

“I am so sorry Tobin. I shouldn’t have asked” Pam says and Tobin shrugs it off.

“It’s O.K. I had a really good foster family until I was eighteen” Tobin says and Alex picks up on the lie but doesn’t say anything.

“That is wonderful” Pam says and Tobin smiles and nods her head in agreement.

“I am going to get some tea and snacks, Mike will you help me?” Alex’s mom says and they both get up and head into the kitchen.

“Tobin, why did you lie to them?” Alex asks once her parents are out of earshot.

“I don’t need more people feeling sorry for me” Tobin says simply and Alex senses that there is more to it but decides to drop it.

Alex’s parents come back with tea and snacks. The remainder of the afternoon is very pleasant and Tobin starts to relax and have fun. After a couple of hours the couple decides to head back to the hotel and get ready for their flight in the morning.

On the way back to the hotel Alex decides to bring up her fiancés comment from earlier in the day.

“So, what did you mean by people feeling sorry for you?” Alex asks.

“I have enough people feeling sorry for me and they last thing I need is sympathy from my future in laws” Tobin says as she stays focused on the road ahead of them.

“You can’t just lie about your life, Tobs. You are the person you are because of your childhood” Alex says and Tobin fights the urge to yell at the younger woman.

“If it wasn’t for my childhood I wouldn’t be so fucked up in the head!” Well, she tried to fight it but it didn’t work.

“How am I supposed to know that? You won’t tell me anything about it!” Alex yells back and Tobin grips the steering wheel.

“I am not talking to you about this anymore” Tobin says rather calmly and Alex knows the struck a nerve but decides to push deeper.

“You don’t get to do this, Tobin. We are getting married and I know little to nothing about your past and your childhood. I am sick of all the hiding and secrets!” Alex yells and Tobin doesn’t respond so the remainder of the car ride is silent and so is the rest of the night.

.

“Are you ready to go? We are going to be late” Tobin says as she knocks on the bathroom door.

Alex comes out of the bathroom with her purse in her hands and says, “We aren’t leaving until you open up, so with that said I am going to see Syd and you can do whatever”

“Are you serious? I have a shoot in the morning” Tobin says with frustration lacing her voice.

“Well, I guess you better work fast, huh?” Alex says as she kisses Tobin on the cheek and turns to the door. “I love you” Alex adds and waits for Tobin to say it back.

“Love you too” Tobin mumbles and Alex slams the door on her way out.

.

“So, you won’t let her leave because she won’t tell you about her childhood?” Sydney asks while sitting across from her best friend.

“Yes! And it is so frustrating because she knows everything about me and I know nothing about her!” Alex yells and lays her head down on the table.

“Has she said why she won’t tell you?” Syd asks and Alex shakes her head side to side.

“All she has said is that ‘it would be best if I didn’t know’. Like, that is so freaking cryptic that it makes me worried that she was a serial killer or something” Alex says and Sydney laughs at the other woman.

“I can guarantee that Tobin was not a serial killer, she is a puppy dog” Sydney says trying to lighten the mood but no such luck.

“O.K. maybe instead of a threatening her try a chill and calm approach” Sydney says and Alex thinks about it for a minute.

“I have been threatening her a lot lately” Alex says and Sydney nods her head in agreement.

“Just be chill about it and if she doesn’t tell you then withhold sex. It works like a charm on Dom” Sydney says and Alex laughs at her best friend because that doesn’t surprise her.

“I might try that but I’m hoping that she just tells me” Alex says and Syd nods her head, “But you always need a backup plan, Al”

“When are you going back to the hotel?” Sydney asks and Alex shrugs.

“I think I’ll make her sweat it out a little more. Want to do some shopping?” Alex asks already knowing the answer.

“Hells yes!” Sydney yells and Alex laughs.

.

“Tobs, I’m back!” Alex yells as she walks through the door of their hotel room.

“I’ll be out in a second” Tobin replies.

Alex starts to unpack all the stuff she bought today when she hears the bathroom door open and sees Tobin walk out, “How was your day with Syd?” Tobin asks while leaning against the wall across from Alex.

“It was good for my health but as for my bank account…” Alex says and Tobin laughs because she knows her fiancé is really good at spending money.

“What did you do today?” Alex asks hoping that Tobin will finally tell her what she wants to hear.

“I did this” Tobin says as she pulls a piece of paper out of the back pocket of her jeans.

“What is that?” Alex asks and Tobin responds, “An explanation.”

“I knew that I couldn’t just tell you on the spot so I wrote down what I thought you would want to hear” Tobin says shyly and Alex’s stomach drops.

“Tobin, I am so sorry that I threatened you. I should have never done that, I want you to be comfortable to tell me things and if you aren’t there yet then I can wait, but not forever” Alex explains and Tobin immediately shakes her head side to side.

“No, don’t apologize. If it wasn’t for you ‘threatening’ me” Tobin says with air quotes, “then I wouldn’t have written this”

“I think I need to sit down for this” Tobin says and Alex grabs her hands and they sit on the bed together.

“Whenever you’re ready, Tobs” Alex says when she sees Tobin opening the crinkled up paper.

“I need a kiss before I do this” Tobin says and leans in to kiss the younger woman. The newly engaged couple had kissed many times before but this was different, this kiss was full of emotion. It was everything that Tobin needed in that moment.

“O.K. here I go,” Tobin starts and then takes a big breath focusing on the piece of paper in front of her. “As you have gathered from my non-existent talk about my childhood, it was rough. Before Kelley was with me Lauren and I shared a room with four other girls and we shared a mattress on the floor” Tobin says shakily and Alex grabs her hand to give the other woman strength.

“The house was too small for all the kids living in it. It had three bedrooms, one for my foster parents, one for the boys, and one for the girls. There were six of us girls and three boys. It was a struggle to get fed three times a day, most days I would only eat once. Lauren would occasionally try and sneak food for us but she always got caught” Tobin says and laughs at the memory of Lauren sneaking a bag of chips in her pants.

“Yeah, it was really hard but Lauren was my sanity for a couple years and then she got adopted and it all came crashing down. My foster parents were never very fond of me and it became hard to really care about anything since no one cared about me. I would skip school and go hang out with a bunch of wasters, then Kelley came and she basically saved me.” Tobin says with tears streaming down her face and Alex’s heart breaks seeing the love of her life like this.

“She was an angel sent from God himself and she changed my life. She brought me back to life and I can never repay her for that” Tobin says and Alex leans over to wipe the tears away.

“What did she save you from, Tobs?” Alex asks in a very gentle tone and Tobin sniffs and wipes the remaining tears away.

“She saved me from myself. I was in a huge pit of depression after Lauren left and I got into some stuff I shouldn’t have. I was dealing drugs for money that I used to buy food and that turned into using said drugs and it just spiraled from there. She basically slapped me in the face and threw a soccer ball at me” Tobin says smiling at the memory of that day.

“She means the world to me, Lex” Tobin says and Alex smiles. “I know, Tobs.”

“I left her there. She saved my life and I left her there” Tobin says as her smile begins to fade and anger enters her eyes.

“What happened after you left?” Alex asks and Tobin shakes her head and replies, “She won’t tell me. I’ve asked her a thousand times and she won’t budge.”

“Maybe if you threaten her…” Alex says and Tobin laughs at this.

“I could try that” Tobin says and Alex pulls her in for a big bear hug.

“I know there is more but I don’t want to push, so thank you for sharing” Alex says and Tobin replies, “I feel like I am in kindergarten and the teacher is praising me for sharing my feelings”

“You can never be serious, can you?” Alex asks while lightly smacking her fiancé on the arm.

“Well, I did grow up with Kelley” Tobin says and Alex nods her head in agreement.

“Since I shared about my past can we go home? I miss my bed” Tobin whines as she throws herself back on the bed.

“Absolutely, I miss your bed too” Alex says and Tobin laughs. They both laid on the bed for a little while longer before booking a flight back to Portland.