Can't get you out of my mind

Gaster was confused.

Very confused.

He was calmly relaxing in a chair he had summoned, drinking some Golden Flower tea and watching the expanses of everything float about the sky, thinking of possibilities for his upcoming date when a single coin had dropped at his feet. He brought his cup down from his lips, and stared at it as it spun on the ground, and finally ceased movement, a head looking lifelessly up at him. He blinked, leaning out of his chair and reaching for the coin, only to be interrupted by another, much more human hand intercepting him. The fingers deftly grabbed the coin, and then paused as the head connected to those fingers nearly bumped into Gaster’s. Gaster turned, and made eye contact with a pair of the most innocent blue eyes he had ever seen, frozen like a doe’s. The human was male, lanky, brunette.

“Pardon,” the stranger said, and Gaster started, pulling his hand away from the coin. The human’s face split into a smile, and he pulled the coin to himself, staring at it for a moment before proudly proclaiming, “Heads!” He paused for a moment, looking at the coin, and then his face fell. “I’m afraid...” He trailed off, looking away from Gaster, behind him.

“So am I,” a second voice joined in. Gaster looked up to see a very angry looking, dark skinned male staring at nothing as he scratched his bearded chin.

“I’m afraid it isn’t your day,” The first human said, pocketing the coin and standing. The second human looked to the first, and grimaced.

“I’m afraid it is.” He replied, silencing the three companions for a moment.

“Eighty nine,” the tall one said.

“I’m sorry, but who are you?” Gaster said, bewildered at the intrusion. This hadn’t happened before. Ever.

“ It must be indicative of something,” The bearded one mused, “besides the redistribution of wealth. List of possible explanations. One: I'm willing it. Inside where nothing shows, I'm the essence of a man spinning double-headed coins, and betting against himself in private atonement for an unremembered past.”

“Well. That’s rather dark,” Gaster provided, realizing he had been ignored. The tall one looked at Gaster again, and shrugged.

“Rosencrantz gets like this sometimes.”

“Guildenstern!” The bearded man said angrily, making the taller one jump.

“Yes?” The tall one answered, which seemed to only anger the short one.

“No! You are Rosencrantz!”

“Yes?”

“Yes!” The bearded one, who Gaster assumed was Guildenstern, nodded in approval, and then turned away again, returning to his musings. “Two: time has stopped dead, and a single experience of one coin being spun once has been repeated ninety times...”

“Well we do exist in a dimension where Time is not a factor.”

“On the whole, doubtful.” Guildenstern continued, ignoring Gaster.

“Oh come on!”

“Or! A Syllogism the second: one: probability is a factor which operates within natural forces. Two, probability is not operating as a factor. Three, we are now within un-, sub- or supernatural forces. Discuss!”

Oh! Gaster could discuss this! He opened his mouth to reply, but paused when the world around him shimmered. He blinked, frowning. Whenever the world shimmered like that, it meant you were having a seizure. Worry clutched his gut, and he looked around for some form of connection between this world and your mind. He could almost always find it; he could see the minor moments before you joined him, or before he could talk to you. And now- in the distance, shining in the darkness as a projection on nothing- now he saw just a bottle in your hand.

Or was it two bottles? A beer bottle- no- a wine bottle?

“Not to heatedly,” Guildenstern grumbled when neither Gaster nor Rosencrantz answered him.

“I’m sorry, What’s the matter with you?” Rosencrantz accused Guildenstern, pulling Gasters attention. Right. He still had people in his little area.

“I guess... I guess I’m just afraid,” Gaster could hear Sans’s distant voice. Guildenstern seemed to hear it as well, as he looked up for a moment.

“A scientific approach to the examination of phenomena is a defence against the pure emotion of fear.” His eyes flicked to Rosencrantz, and he held out his hand. Rosencrantz almost immediately reached out for it, taking Guildenstern’s hand. Guildenstern’s face relaxed a bit, “Keep tight hold and continue while there's time. Now - counter to the previous syllogism: tricky one, follow me carefully, it may prove a comfort.” Guildenstern pulled Rosencrantz close, looking out into the distance, dragging Rosencrantz’s gaze in the same direction. All three, Rosencrantz, Guildenstern, and Gaster watched from your point of view as you stared at the bottle for a few moments longer than comfortable. Gaster nearly screamed as he watched you face a door- no, a wall? -and toss the bottle at it. It shattered against the surface.

The projection dissipated. Guildenstern, seemingly unfazed, continued. “If we postulate, and we just have, that within un-, sub- or supernatural forces the probability is that the law of probability will not operate as a factor, then we must accept that the probability of the first part will not operate as a factor, in which case the law of probability will operate as a factor within un-, sub- or supernatural forces.”

“Oh thank GOD!” Your voice ripped from behind the trio. Gaster whipped around, and upon seeing you standing there, burst into a righteous fury.

“You IMBECILE!” He screeched, flying toward you in rage. He was halted almost immediately by a hand to his chest as you pushed him aside.

“No time, Gaster. You can yell at me later.” You said, almost running up to the duo still staring into the abyss. “This is important,” You continued, stopping in front of the duo with wide eyes. Both paused for a moment, looking over at you at the same time.

You felt your heart jump. Here! Right in front of you, were your two favorite characters! You could barely contain your squeals of excitement, taking a quick calming breath. You had a job to do. You had information to get, and you weren’t sure how much time you had before this pair was gone.

Here. In front of you. Was Rosencrantz and Guildenstern from Rosencrantz and Guildenstern are Dead, a play by Tom Stoppard, where the idea of a world existing between scenes of a play is the main topic of discussion. Here stood the duo that’s lived in this world since 1964. Their entire existence consisted of questioning and attempting to understand “un-, sub-, or supernatural forces,” which you now knew was THIS world!

So not only were you meeting your two favorite characters, but these two favorite characters were probably the most suited to help you solve your problem! You stopped in front of the duo, and paused for a moment, listening to their prattling for only a second before you could grasp who was who. You turned to the bearded one. “Guildenstern!” You nearly yelped, startling the poor man from his frantic rants. In fact, both men jumped, and the taller one was first to turn to you.

“Yes?” He asked, receiving an angry smack to the shoulder from his companion.

“No!” Guildenstern chastised the taller one, turning to you, “Yes?” He parroted, and you couldn’t stop the giggle. It was a running gag for everyone but Guildenstern to get the two’s names mixed up. You refused to be one of them though. You turned to Guildenstern with a slight bow, and he nodded proudly at you.

“Guildenstern, I know you may be short on time, but I am in dire need of assistance!” You pleaded. He stroked his beard for a moment, and then waved his hand at you, motioning for you to continue. Heh. Just like him to take things in stride. You took a step to the side, and motioned toward Gaster, who stood a ways behind you, both terribly confused and horribly furious at the same time. Upon sensing the attention of all three of you (Rosencrantz found Gaster lanky legs to be of utmost intrigue), he let his face fall to a neutral standing, and cleared his throat.

“Hello,” He introduced himself, writing his shoulders, “I am Dr. W. D. Gas-”

“No, no no!” Guildenstern interrupted Gaster, making your skeletal friend bristle. Guildenstern ignored it, walking toward Gaster with quite an adamant frown on his face. He circled the skeleton a few times, muttering “no’s” and shaking his head all the way. “You are not supposed to be here,” He said, holding one of his elbows in one hand, and stroking his beard with the other. “This isn’t right,” he continued, but then stopped, staring at Gaster. You almost laughed at how Gaster froze under Guildenstern’s scrutinizing gaze, eyes wide, but silent under the commanding man’s stature. “Why are you here?” Guildenstern asked, narrowing his eyes at Gaster. Gaster’s lips parted.

“Is he here for the play?” Rosencrantz pitched in, eyes glittering.

“Not now.” Guildenstern nodded his head in Rosencrantz’s general direction, to which Rosencrantz lit up in triumph.

“Statement! One-Love!”

“Not now!” Guildenstern’s head whipped toward Rosencrantz, who jumped in surprise. Ros blinked a few times, and then gave Guildenstern a guilty grimace. Guil just glared back, but his face quickly lost it’s sting while looking at his partner. In fact, it twisted slowly into realization, until he was muttering to himself. “No, no he couldn’t be here for the play,” He turned back to Gaster, who still stood there, frozen and confused.

You, though, knew how this pair worked, and found yourself a comfortable seat on the ground.

Rosencrantz and Guildenstern symbolized perfect scenario between the right and left halves of the brain, and their ability to solve any problem, subconsciously or consciously, when given enough time. Guildenstern provided thought, substance, fact, while Rosencrantz provided unique perspectives and distractions enough to maintain Guildenstern’s sanity. Guildenstern solved problems with pure reasoning and logic, while Rosencrantz provided emotional context and support. Together, they were the perfect partners, an unstoppable duo of problem-solving prowess, unfortunately tossed into a world with impossible problems.

And yet they lived, mostly happily, for eternity, building and expanding off each other, supporting each other through thick and thin, through life and death and fucking Hamlet.

Fuck Hamlet. Seriously.

Either way, Proposing a question to this duo consisted of providing them a thought, and then simply sitting back, letting their combined genius work it out. And you could see this already happening as Guildenstern circled Gaster once more, and Rosencrantz flopped onto the ground, counting the tesseracts in the sky.

“You’ve never seen the play before,” Guildenstern continued, making eye contact with Gaster.

“The... play?” Gaster blinked.

“What does that matter? Can’t he see it either way?”

“No no! He’s not in the play, so how could he see the play?” Guildenstern explained quickly to Rosencrantz, who just pondered for a moment before responding.

“Do you have to be in the play to see the play?”

“Are you dumb?” Guildenstern shot at Rosencrantz, with absolutely no heart behind the insult. “How could you see the play if you’re not in the play?”

Rosencrantz paused for a moment, tapping a finger to his lips, “Could you.... Watch it from the... audience?”

“No!”

“Statement!”

“There is no audience!” Guildenstern yelled, his voice echoing into nothing as he waved his hands around.

“Two-love,” Rosencrantz said, a bit quieter. His eyes sparkled though, and he looked ready to take on the challenge of a game of Questions with Guildenstern (Whether the poor man knew it was happening or not).

“Do you see an audience?” Guildenstern waved wildly around him.

“Am I supposed to?”

“Why would you be supposed to see an audience that isn’t there?”

“What if it is there?”

“How could it be there if we’re the only ones here?”

“Could they have come here?”

“From where?”

“What if they travelled from far away places?”

“There are no far away places!”

“Statement! Three, Love! Match!” Guildenstern fist-pumped the air, but Guildenstern seemed to ignore him.

No wait. That was Rosencrantz. Rosencrantz fist-pumped the air, and ROSENCRANTZ ignored him!

No wait....

...

Fuck.

Guildenstern... the bearded one! The bearded one was GUildenstern! Guildenstern huffed, looking out into the distance, “How could there be far away places if we all come from the same origin?”

“Do you mean writing?” Rosencrantz provided hopefully.

“What else could I mean?” Guil responded nonchalantly, lifting his hand from his beard for a moment and glancing at his seated companion.

“You could mean Earth!”

“Statement, one love.”

“Ohhh,” Rosencrantz looked at his feet; Guildenstern smirked cockily for a moment before returning to his thoughts. Rosencrantz overcame his loss rather quickly, and perked up once again.

“Could there be a far away place we did not know about before?”

“How is that possible?”

“Aren’t we simply human?”

“So?”

“Wouldn’t we have gaps in our knowledge?” Rosencrantz continued, standing now and walking to Guildenstern. Guildenstern nodded, accepting Ros’s logic, and then glancing to Gaster.

“Where did you come from?” He addressed Gaster. Rosencrantz nearly jumped in excitement, staring intently at Gaster, who shrunk under the duo’s gazes.

“Uhh... Earth?”

“Statement! That’s not a real question! One Two Love!”

“You either come from Earth, or you don’t; which is it?”

“I come from earth!”

“Statement! Two Three Love! Match to Rosencrantz!” Rosencrantz cried out, motioning toward his bearded companion.

“Guildenstern.” Guil corrected.

“Guildenstern!” Rosencrantz parroted. Gaster just looked at you, crying for help with his eyes. You just smiled. When faced with these two, unless you were Hamlet, there was no winning.

Guildenstern turned back to Gaster, narrowing his eyes. “If you come from earth, and you are not writing, then how are you here?”

“I...” Gaster paused, looking over at Rosencrantz, who was practically holding his breath. Gaster thought for a moment, and rephrased his statement to a question. “Am I supposed to know how I’m here?”

Rosencrantz deflated; Guildenstern just hummed before continuing, “Are you dead?”

“Am I dead?” Gaster recoiled, appalled at the blunt question.

“‘Rrrrreppitition! One one love!” Rosencrantz exclaimed, pointing at the sky.

“How could you exist here and there at the same time unless you were dead?” Guildenstern got closer to Gaster, staring him down.

Gaster’s eyes widened, and he looked around, “Is here where people go when they die?”

“Where else would they go?” Rosencrantz asked matter of factly.

“I had no idea,” Gaster breathed.

“Statement! Two Two Love!”

“Are you dead?” Guildenstern repeated, staring pointedly at Gaster.

“Repetition! Three Two One Match! 2-0-0! I’m doing well today!” Rosencrantz chittered.

“I don’t believe I am,” Gaster responded to Guildenstern, who was patiently patting Rosencrantz’s shoulder.

“Then!” Guildenstern exclaimed, turning away from Gaster. Rosencrantz looked over to his partner, raising an eyebrow as Guildenstern. “You must have come from another source!”

“You really suck at this game,” Rosencrantz addressed Gaster.

“An unknown source,” Guildenstern continued as Rosencrantz patted Gaster’s shoulder.

“Another author?” Rosencrantz turned to Guildenstern, “Not Tom Stoppard?”

“No no, not him. Not any.” Guildenstern turned to Gaster, “You are not a character, are you?”

“I-.... No?”

“Then why are you here?”

“I’m.... stuck?”

“How.” Rosencrantz asked.

“I... had an accident.”

“And?” Rosencrantz egged

“I got stuck here?”

“How!” Guildenstern yelled angrily.

“I had an accident??”

“And?” Guildenstern egged on.

“I... got... stuck... here?”

“How?” Rosencrantz asked again, eyes alight with mischief.

“I... had an acci-”

“It doesn’t matter!” Guildenstern interrupted, pacing now, “What matters is that you are here, you are stuck here, and you shouldn’t be here. What matters is finding why you are here specifically,” He motioned toward the ground, and then motioned away from everything, “And not there, and how to get you from here and not there to THERE, and not there or here.”

“I... what?”

“Why are you here.” Guildenstern demanded of Gaster, who was nearly hyperventilating now.

“I’m stuck,” He answered again, only receiving an exasperated sigh from Guildenstern.

“No, that is why you are here, but why are you here!” He demanded again, pointing to the ground below Gaster. “You could be there!” He pointed to the distance, “Or there!” He pointed somewhere else, “or there!” A third place, “But you are not. You are here.” He pointed to the ground, and then narrowed his eyes. “Why.”

“Uhh,” Gaster stammered, and his eyes shot to you. You were rather amused at this point, watching Gaster flounder in such extremes was uncharacteristic and rather humerous. When Gaster paid you attention, though, so did Guildenstern.

“Is it her?” He asked, whipping around and marching toward you. You hastily stood, not looking away from Guildenstern as his eyes scanned over your person. “Are you here because of her?”

“I... yes?” Gaster said, and you nodded in agreement.

“He’s with me.” You said.

“How can he be with you if you’re not here?” Rosencrantz pitched in, sounding utterly confused. The three of you turned to him, each parroting a-

“What?”

“Well?” Rosencrantz blinked, backing up an inch, “She’s not here! She’s there!” Rosencrantz said, looking guilty and slightly frightened. He quickly calmed down, though, when Guildenstern grunted in agreement.

“That’s right!” He concluded, looking back to you. “You threw the bottle!”

“Uhh. Yes.”

“So you’re THERE!” He pointed to the empty space, and you had a feeling he was talking about Earth.

“Uhh. Yes?”

“But you’re here.” Guildenstern frowned.

“Wow!” Rosencrantz yelped.

“But you can’t be-”

“You can be-”

“At two places at the same time!” Guildenstern accused.

“At two places at the same time?” Rosencrantz pondered.

“Uhh,” You floundered, eyes flicking to Gaster, whose smug grin at your floundering seemed vaguely familiar. Oh yeah. You were giving him the same face 3 seconds ago.

“A SYLLOGISM!” Guildenstern shouted, stepping away from you and pacing now. “One. If you are there, then you cannot be here. Two. You are there. So! You cannot be here.”

“But-”

“A syllogism to Parallel. One. If you are Here, then you cannot be There. Two. You are Here. So, you cannot be there.” Guildenstern paused for a moment, staring at the sky before continuing, “And finally, a syllogism to the second and third! One. If you are not here, or there, then you must not exist.” He turned to you, “You! Are not here, OR there. Therefore, you must not exist!”

“I take offense to that,”

“Let me continue, you’ll take solace once i’m finished. Final syllogism. The third, if you remember correctly; One. One that exists and doesn’t exist simultaneously must either follow different rules, or exist differently than the rest. An anomaly, if you will. Therefore, as you do and do not exist,” He paused, looking you up and down, “Then you are the independent variable, possibly something that exists outside or between the Here and the There.”

“Just as Stoppard was!” Rosencrantz pitched in finally, excitedly.

“Exactly!” Guildenstern announced, turning to Rosencrantz, who was practically bouncing up and down.

“So she’s resilient!”

“Exactly!!”

Wait.

“Wait.” You said, eyebrows scrunching. Gaster seemed to follow your sentiment as he took a step forward, stepping between Ros and Guil, facing you but looking at Guil.

“How did you know she’s Resilient?” He questioned, eyes narrowing.

“It’s simple!” Guildenstern answered, “There are only a handful of people that can do the impossible or nearly impossible. The Determined, and the Resilient.”

“Determined people never fall down! It’s practically impossible, actually!” Rosencrantz provided, “For those with determinate qualities, Time bends for their will!”

“But Resilient people fall down and almost always get back up,” Guildenstern continued, “For those with resilience, Space bends for their will.”

“Time and Space,” Gaster breathed, as if that one sentence meant so much more than repeating what the duo just said. Silence fell over the four for a moment before Guildenstern sprang back into action.

“SO!” He exclaimed, making all but Rosencrantz jump.

“Yes?” Rosencrantz asked.

“Let me get this straight,”

“You might well ask.” Rosencrantz prattled in response. Guildenstern turned to Gaster.

“You had an accident.”

“Yes.”

“You wind up here.”

“In the flesh!” Rosencrantz answers for Gaster. Guildenstern nods, and continues.

“In an attempt to escape, you reach blindly and wildly for the intangible thoughts of the minds surrounding you!” Guildenstern’s voice gets louder and quicker now; he steps away from Gaster, instead listening to the response coming from Rosencrantz.

“It was a horror!” Rosencrantz bawls, covering his face with the crook of his elbow and fake-crying.

“And every mind you reach for recoils and retreats from your needy hands-”

“I couldn’t grasp a thing!” Rosencrantz weeps.

“And you’re left alone-”

“SO alone!” He wailed.

“In this nothingness,”

“It’s nothing to cry about,” Rosencrantz stops his crocodile tears, pondering.

“Trying to grasp at something-” Guildenstern continued.

“Anything is nothing to cry about, if you think about it, because-”

“And you thought-”

“We all die some day! Why does anything matter?”

“This is pointless!”

“But!” Both Guildenstern and Rosencrantz said at the same time, holding up fingers and then turning on Gaster.

“Something does matter!” Rosencrantz continued, a wide smile forming on his lips.

“You found the one thing that could make a difference in your predicament!” Guildenstern continued to pace again.

“Something that always makes a difference!”

“You found someone-”

“A friend!”

“Who could take your assaults on their mind, and bounce back.”

“A resilient friend!”

“Someone who could successfully host you in their mind, and become a bridge between Earth and Here.”

“You sure are lucky!” Rosencrantz pat Gasters shoulder with a wide smile.

“Lucky indeed,” Guildenstern mused, looking over at you. You were speechless, still trying to wrap your mind around their speech. Gaster blinked a few times, and then smiled at you proudly.

“There really aren’t many resilient ones, to be honest,” Guildenstern continued, looking you up and down. “A rare species, indeed.”

“I’m lucky to call one my friend.” Gaster said.

“You’re lucky to have found her,” Guildenstern corrected him, walking over to you and grabbing your chin. You almost protested, but his touch was gentle in it’s methodical, doctoral movements. “She’s the only hope you have of escaping this realm.”

“Uhh,” you said, looking at Guildenstern with raised eyebrows. He hummed, letting you go.

“Yes!” He announced, “The only way to escape is to use the bridge provided for you!”

“How convenient that it’s right there!” Rosencrantz laughed, and then perked his ears up. “I say, do you hear drums?”

Oh. Oh no. The drums! If your memory of the story line of R&G are Dead was correct, (and it was), then the drums meant your time was nearly out!

“Yes, convenient,” Guildenstern mused, frowning, “But what would stop Here from pulling our skeletal companion back to it’s cold grasp? If it were that easy, then Dr. W. D. Gas would not be here right now.... No...”

“They’re getting louder!”

“No,” Guildenstern looked at you, nodding his head, “Listen carefully, Rosencrantz!” He addressed you. You nodded. “If you want to save you friend-”

“Here they come! I say! It looks like an acting troupe!”

“You must break the bridge!”

And they were gone.