Can't get you out of my mind

“I can use my magic again!” Gaster paced, hands folded behind his back, face scrunched in concentration and worry.

“Gaster.” You watched him pace, sitting on the ground and constantly wiggling your toes. They twitched oddly sometimes, making you frown.

“If my magic just removed your Resilient Soul-Power the first time,”

“Gaster,”

“And it did nothing to harm you physically, well other than expected that is, but who cares what happens to your body over there if-”

“Gaster.”

“Well either way i could just summon the blasters, remove your soul magic, and then you’d be able to stay here!” Gaster turned from his pacing to smile at you like he had just discovered the cure to cancer. You sighed, giving him a gracious smile, and wincing as realization flitted across his face. His excitement quickly dropped.

“You’re going back.” He said flatly; you nodded. “But why?” He demanded, “You’re so miserable there!” His face contorted more and more, until you were absolutely sure you have never seen him so upset. “You’re not going back there for me, are you?”

“I’m sure it’ll get better with time,” You argued.

“Better with time?” Gaster repeated incredulously, “Did you see how differently everyone treated you when you began to have seizures? What about now? You’ll be an outcast!”

“So?”  You laid down, looking up at the familiar nothingness. “I’ve been alone with you for 2 years now. I can handle a little loneliness out there too.”

“It’s different out there.” Gaster sat down next to you, pouting.

“By how much though?” You leaned back on your hands, looking up. “I’ve seen what feels like everything here. I don’t think much can surprise me now.”

“You’ve experienced everything that isn’t over there.” Gaster argued, leaning back as well, resting his hand over yours. “You’re literally prepared for anything but real life.”

“Shhhh. I’ve still got you.” you looked to him and winked. He frowned, blushing.

“It’s not the same, though.” He pat your hand a few times, and then squeezed it, “I can’t do this.”

“I can still hear your voice, though.” You looked up again, and Gaster hummed.

“You do realize people may think you’re crazy for talking to the voice in your head, right?”

“I don’t care. I like your voice.”

“That makes you sound like a stalker.”

“Gaster.”

“Sorry.”

________________

________________

You took a breath, eyes trailing over the open street in front of you. The sun tickled your face and warmed your shoulders, pulling a smile to your lips. Finally, after 2 months in that hell-hole of a hospital, you finally finished physical therapy (or more aptly, quit physical therapy), and checked yourself out of the hospital. Tooth stood behind you, looking out at the street as well.

“My parents should be here soon. I would have driven if I had a license, but.. y’know. No eyes.”

You looked back at Tooth, pointing at your eyes.

“The DMV doesn’t believe that I can see.” You nodded, looking forward again, shifting a bit. The wheelchair rocked back and forth under you. You felt a hand on your shoulder, and looked back again. Tooth smiled for a moment before grabbing you under the shoulders, and pulling you up a bit, settling you more easily in the chair. You tightened the belt around your waist, then touched your chin before moving your hand outward.

“You’re welcome,” Tooth answered. You put your hands on a wheel so Tooth could let go of your chair, and ushered them to your side. They did, giving you a large smile. You returned it.

You’ve been learning ASL for about a month and a half now. Tooth had suggested it, and once your arms were strong enough to move around regularly, you and Tooth began learning together. You knew... enough to get your basic needs across. “Thank you,” “bathroom,” “Hungry,” “You’re welcome,” “Help,” The usual. Tooth knew those as well, but fell behind you rather quickly.

Mainly because Gaster walked you through most signs while you were awake, and taught you more while you were asleep. You remember your surprise when he suddenly pitched into a conversation, telling you how to sign “Fuck off” to a doctor that was especially... handsy. You had laughed first at his indignant voice, and then asked him how he knew sign language. He explained that the child that opened the barrier spoke in sign, and he watched them enough that he got interested. So he taught himself. You expressed how impressed you were, and he got quiet for quite a while. Either way, you were kind of proud of how much sign you knew for only practicing for a month and a half. Maybe it was out of necessity that you learned so quickly, but still.

A car appeared down the street; you pointed it out, and Tooth nodded. “Yeah, that’s them. We’re going to their mansion before we go to my house.” They pat your shoulder for a moment. “I got one with 2 rooms just in case you... y’know...” They looked away, “ever woke up...” You lifted your hand, placing it on theirs and looking at them with a kind smile. They returned it, taking a quick breath. “Sorry. I’ll not be a downer anymore.” You nodded, looking at the street again. The car- a hummer Limo of course- stopped in front of the hospital. You wheeled to it as the chauffeur stepped out, and opened the door for you and Tooth.

You frowned, wondering how you were going to get into the car when the chauffeur simply lifted you out of the wheelchair, and plopped you into the hummer.

Oh.

Well that felt degrading.

It is degrading. I could have helped you there.

How is that any less degrading?

Because i’m your friend, of course.

That doesn’t make it any less degrading.

I’m hurt.

You rolled your eyes, adjusting your useless legs and buckling yourself in, looking up only when you finished fiddling with the buckle. Two faces... err.. mouths looked back at you. You blinked, blushed, and waved.

Eloquent.

Shutup.

Must I though?

“I know this is the first time we’ve seen you,” the slightly larger of the two monsters spoke up, patting their partner’s leg, “and this probably isn’t the most formal place to do this, but we both wanted to thank you for saving our child.”

Two years later.

You shook you head, waving it off.

“No, it’s not a small deal,” the smaller one said, their mouth pulling downward. “You ran into a burning building, broke your spine and suffered from severe brain damage just to save our little one.”

Brain damage... Is that what they consider me? Tch. You don’t have brain damage.

You nodded. The two mouth monsters smiled at your response. “We paid for your hospital stay, and got you the best doctors money can pay for in an attempt to keep you alive.”

But they let you deteriorate. And lose your voice. And you’re paralyzed...

“There isn’t much more we can do,” the other one continued, “but you do have a bank account with about 15,000 dollars, and a place with Tooth to stay. All of your previous items are already there. We also offer you our continuous thanks.”

You blushed, looking away. The door on the other side of the car opened, and Tooth entered. “Are we ready to go?” they asked, and all three of you nodded. “Great! Then let’s go!”

They are kind. I like them.

You smiled, looking down. You liked them too. Or more. You liked Tooth.

_____________

_____________

“Home sweet home!” Tooth exclaimed, wheeling you through the front door. “It’s not super big, but it’s larger than your old home.”

That is the understatement of the year.

You looked around. It was a full sized one story home complete with a giant living room. You looked to the left, listening to Tooth as they spoke. “Over there is the hallway leading to your room. It’s to the left. Mine is right across from yours... Umm... you have your own personal bathroom, and it’s got a disability accessible shower and everything... uhh...” You looked around now. The entrance opened immediately to reveal a family room on the right, decked with a couch, a loveseat, and the largest flatscreen you’ve seen. You peeled your eyes away, looking forward instead, and... Was that a master chef kitchen?

“Oh!” Tooth smiled, wheeling you toward the kitchen. “You know how much I like to bake... So Dad and Mom found a house with a crazy kitchen. It’s great, right?”

You didn’t answer. Only gawked. You finally turned to Tooth, giving them the most “..why?” face you could muster. They laughed at your face, and parked you at the entrance of the kitchen. “Because I love cooking so much! Now I can practically cook anything, and have all the needed stuff for it. For example,” They opened the fridge, burying their face in the icebox for a moment before popping out again. “A fully decked out ‘welcome to your new home’ cake!” They pulled their hands away from the fridge, revealing the largest cake you’ve ever seen in your life.

I’m pretty sure if you eat that, you’ll fall into a coma again.

You agreed with Gaster, eyes wide. Was that... That looked like at least 5 layers! And with oreos on top, and the sides, and surrounding the base. That frosting looked like pure diabetes. TOoth laughed at your agape mouth, and walked to the table, setting the cake down. “You hungry?”

I’m saying this in utmost sincerity. I don’t think you should eat that. You may just die.

Fuck you Gaster. That cake is going in your stomach yesterday.

_____________

_____________

You regret eating the cake.

Hah.

You really regret eating the cake. No doubt about it, that was the best cake you have ever eaten in your life, but with that came your inability to stop eating the cake. One GIANT slice in, you were already full. Two slices in, your stomach turned upside down. 3 slices in, you were sure you were going to pass out right there at the table. Four slices, and Tooth cut you off, literally pulling the plate and the cake away from your grasp and wheeling you to your room. Unbuckling you. Asking you if you needed to go to the bathroom before they laid you down. Laying you down. Tucking you in.

Now, you stared at the ceiling from your position on your bed, already feeling the discontent settling in your mind.

Was this your life now? Relying on people to get you into bed, get you out of bed, help you to the bathroom? Was Tooth going to be your caretaker?

You widened your eyes, breathing deeply, attempting to still the tears trying to escape your eyes.

Little one...

You didn’t want this! You didn’t want to rely on other people. You were strong! You were strong and independent and resilient-

So resilient.

-and you could do anything, but now you couldn’t even get out of bed...

“I don’t know what to do, Gaster.” you mouthed, the sound of your lips parting and closing both consoling and upsetting you.

Where would the fun be if answers came easily?

This isn’t fun.

.... I am aware... I just didn’t know what else to say. I’m sorry. I don’t know what to do either.

Heh. You sniffled.

You could come back.

“No,” You thought, letting a tear fall. “I have a...” Your thoughts trailed off, eyes following little patterns and rivers in the knockdown. You licked your lips, a form of peace lifting a weight off your chest and letting you breath. “I have a mission.”

I don’t like that tone of thought.

“With how protective you are,” You let a smile tickle your lips. “You’ll never like that tone of voice.” You winked, then blushed when you realized he couldn’t see it.

_________________

_________________

This is ridiculous.

“Only because you say it is.” You huffed through your nose, your form of a chuckle. Your pencil scratching against the paper on your desk was louder than your airy laugh.

Have you LOOKED at this list?

“Of course I have, I’m writing it, you goofball.”

I’m just surprised you could write something so ludicrous.

“It’s not ludicrous!” You slapped your pencil onto the table, frowning.

“You okay?” You heard Tooth call from... the kitchen? Yeah. That sounded like the kitchen. You knocked on your desk three times: your form of an affirmation. “Alright! Just checking! How does Chicken and Mushrooms for dinner sound?”

Knock knock knock.

“Great, because It’s already in the oven! Your room or the table?”

Knock.

“Okay! It’s almost done!”

Knock knock knock.

How is this list anything OTHER than ludicrous.

You looked at your list, and frowned. It seemed pretty logical to you. Check the library for information on the Nothingness, do some blogging and internet searching, figure out if there are any differences in your and Gasters connection since the coma, see if Gaster can still do magic through you, figure out what they did to wake you up (no matter the means) just in case.

Hell, you even had a list going for what happens after some of these in the list are fulfilled. If you found information, you’d follow up on it, continue research. If you found a possible lead, you’d use the money given to you by Tooth’s parents to follow it.  15K can get you pretty far, you presume. And if you could use Gaster’s magic, you could always find ways to get more money...

How are you going to tell Tooth that you’re planning on leaving them to go chase a possibly impossible way to sunder yourself from, and corporealize the figment of imagination that haunts your mind, possibly by illegal means if you get to that point?

.....

You’d think of that eventually.

A small knock on your door warned you of the incoming monster; you turned your wheelchair and gave Tooth a wide smile. They returned it, and held out two plates of food. “Fresh outta the oven!” They walked to you, dropping your plate on the desk, and sitting on your bed. “It’s nice to be able to cook for someone. Bratty would have been ecstatic...” You huffed, remembering Bratty for a moment. It’s been two years; what was she doing now? “I’m sure she’s enjoying her life, wherever she is,” Tooth mused, spooning some food into their gaping maw. You followed suit, chewing contemplatively. Delicious as always. You wanted to say that you missed the food, but in honesty, it felt like you had eaten it only a couple of days ago. It still boggles your mind to think that you ate it more than 2 years before.

“So,” Tooth asked between bites. Their voice was slow, almost careful. “What... What are you going to do now?”

Oh.

Eventually. Heh. Seems you’re going to have to explain your foolishness sooner rather than later.

The sarcasm rolling off Gaster’s voice was palpable. Your chewing slowed to a stop, and you looked at Tooth with a grimace. They met your gaze, and frowned.  “I don’t like that face.”

Neither do I, Tooth. Neither do I.

The corners of your mouth tilted upward a bit, and you shrugged, taking a quick breath in.

“You’re about to tell me something i’m not going to like,” Tooth provided, and almost moaned when you nodded. “You literally just woke up from a coma, and you’re already going to go out and do something stupid.” You nodded. They moaned again. “You know, I just got my degree.” they complained, finishing up their plate of food... plate and all. “I’d like to be able to use it for once.”

You raised your eyebrow, confused.

“What, you think I’m going to just let you leave alone?”

....

“I just got you back, ________, I’m not losing you again.”