Dreams
"It's been a long time since we've seen each other, Mircalla," the old man said. "I've been looking for you for awhile now."
Carmilla stared back defiantly.
"Don't you have anything to say? No begging? No pleading?" he asked as the soldiers behind him remained ready to fire.
She glared, refusing to utter a word.
"After everything you did, you're not even going to ask for forgiveness?" the man from her past questioned astonishedly.
The pilot made zero responses.
"Well, I was supposed to hand you over, but due to everything we've been through together, I feel like you're my responsibility now." He lifted his blaster with fire in his eyes. "Goodbye, Mircalla."
Carmilla gasped as she sat straight up on the bed. Her eyes darted around the room to take in her surroundings. Her breathing was heavy as she tried to take in the darkness. When she looked down next to her, she saw Laura sleeping soundlessly. The tension in the pilot's body began to dissolve. The Jedi was so relaxed. Weren't Jedi supposed to be alert at all times? Shouldn't she have woken up from Carmilla having a nightmare? Especially since they're bonded...
But this woman was at such peace. Her hair was coming loose from her braid and falling into her face. Carmilla's fingers itched to brush the tendrils out of the way, but clenched her fist beside her instead. She sighed and laid back down on the bed, her gaze settled on the ceiling. Then, her eyes fell back to the Jedi beside her.
How was she a Jedi? Laura was noble, yes. But where the Jedi would be cautious, Laura jumps in without a second thought. She cares to a fault, and at some point, she was going to get herself hurt.
And Carmilla felt her heart clench at the very thought.
"After much deliberation, we've come to the conclusion that Carmilla is of no immediate threat under Jedi supervision," Master Enki announced.
"Wait, what is that supposed to mean?" Carmilla replied, biting her tongue before she said something she would regret.
"It means due to your bond with Laura, we've allowed you to remain connected to the Force," Master Ereshkigal explained with a bitterness in her tone.
"Remain connected to the Force? You were going to take it away?" Laura exclaimed. "How could you even considerate that?! She hasn't shown any sign of a threat!"
"Her past associates prove otherwise..." another Master added.
"She came here for your help against them!" the blonde shot back.
"Sometimes precautions must be made."
"And the only reason why they aren't being made now is because she's bonded with me and you're concerned with the potential consequences!" Laura replied bluntly.
"Force bonds are unpredictable. The void that the Force would have left in Carmilla may have had repercussions for you," Master Hastur explained gently.
"How considerate of you. You decide against destroying someone's spirit because Force forbid I get angry."
"See? Your behavior is already erratic! The influence she is having on you is causing these disrespectful outbursts," Master Ereshkigal argued.
"If you think these outbursts are uncalled for, you're more ignorant than I thought."
"Ignorant?!"
"Taking away the Force is like taking away someone's sight or ability to hear! How could you just- just blind someone like that?!"
"There is no emotion, there is-" Master Hastur began.
"Screw that!" Laura interrupted. All of the Masters stared back with wide eyes.
Carmilla watched the Masters silently take in their pupil. The pilot felt angry. She felt this heat spread throughout her body that grew hotter by the second. The heat turned to fire and she clenched her jaw to try to extinguish the flames.
Then, something clicked. She turned to see the blonde glaring at her superiors. Her fists were clenched by her sides. The fire wasn't Carmilla's; it was Laura's.
"Young Jedi, I fear you're letting your feelings-" Master Enki started.
"Oh, you fear? Careful. I've heard fear is an emotion."
"Laura," Carmilla said firmly. The blonde quickly looked over at the pilot. Carmilla's dark, piercing gaze shot through her. It was like a bucket of ice water washing over her. Whatever anger that had been building was suddenly dying.
Carmilla looked back at the Masters. "I appreciate you not wanting to fuck with my ability with the Force," she commented with furrowed brows. "And I'm hoping by 'Jedi supervision', you mean staying with Laura. Because if it's anything other than that, I'm gonna have to rudely decline."
"Yes, that is precisely what we mean," Master Enki answered with a small smile. "Seems unkind to separate you from your bond mate."
Carmilla lifted a brow. "Bond mate? Sounds a little kinky, don't ya think?"
"Carm," Laura hissed. She took a deep breath before looking back at the Council. "Thank you," she managed to say with as little bitterness as possible.
"Now that you're done wasting time on this pointless situation, maybe you can tell me what the fuck we're gonna do about my mother?" Carmilla frowned as she crossed her arms over her chest.
"Does she have a name?"
"Other than crazy, manipulative bitch? Yeah, the people she's tortured and butchered knew her as 'The Empress'. Let's just say she has a really high opinion of herself," she finished with a scoff.
"Is there anything else you can tell us?"
"Only that it's only a matter of time before she finds me and turns this Enclave into a wasteland. If you don't have a plan ready, I need to be leaving right about now."
"Let's not be hasty-"
"You didn't see what she did to that village on Kashyyyk. She killed countless of innocents in order to find me. She killed children, for fuck's sake! She'll do anything to get what she wants, including killing every last little Padawan you have here. Time is essential, and I refuse to stay here and be responsible for more chaos. My conscience can only take so much."
The Council members stared at one another before Master Hastur spoke. "We've heard news of the events on Kashyyyk. If that act was due to your presence, then the situation truly is dire."
"No shit," Carmilla grumbled.
"So we will allow you to leave. Continue your aid with Doctor LaFontaine. See if you can offer any additional aid. The Empress seems to be desperate in stopping the cure, if sending Darth Mailwil after the doctor is any indication. If she is behind the epidemic, then we must be ready for whatever advances she intends to make next. We need you present. Coruscant is bustling and making any moves to capture you there would seem illogical," Master Enki calmly stated.
"You clearly don't know my mother," Carmilla said under her breath with a sigh.
"But you will be returning to Coruscant wearing a Force collar," Master Ereshkigal added.
"Excuse me?" the pilot replied.
"Wait, what?" Laura had spoken at the same time as the brunette. She felt her anger building again. "That's still taking away the Force from her!"
"But it isn't permanent," Master Ereshkigal corrected lazily.
"Don't you think you're putting the mission at risk by restricting her help?!"
"We'd be putting the mission at risk if we didn't restrict her," Master Ereshkigal argued. "She'll be able to feel and sense the Force, but unable to use it."
"But I'll be with her! Don't you trust me?"
"Not with this new behavior you've been exhibiting..."
Laura felt her eyes burning into her Master. She felt like she was mere seconds away from combusting, and so, she spun on her heel and stomped out of the Council Chambers. Camilla watched with raised brows as the Masters tried to call after to her, but to no avail.
Master Enki sighed before delivering a sad smile to the pilot. "We would like to attach the collar now, if you don't mind."
Carmilla let out a laugh. "I do mind, but I'm pretty sure I don't actually have a choice in the matter."
"You don't," Master Ereshkigal said sternly.
The brunette sighed. "Wonderful," she said as Master Hastur approached and placed the cold metal around her neck; snapping it shut.
"I'm sorry about this," he said softly before stepping back to give her space.
Her senses felt dulled. It was like she had spent much too long at a cantina and had consumed way too many drinks; minus the fun side effects.
Master Hastur spoke again. "You are free to go find Laura. She should be at the cliff just south of the Enclave, but I'm sure you'd have a better sense of where to find her," he said in regards to their bond.
"You aren't afraid I'll start murdering people once I leave this room?" she asked with a raised brow.
"Everyone is on guard," one of the other Masters stated. "Plus, your collar has a tracker and duels as a shock collar."
"So I'm a fucking dog?!" Carmilla exclaimed. She then took a deep breath with flared nostrils. "You don't deserve my respect at all," she spat out. "But I don't seem to have any other options if I want to stay alive." She shook her head. "I'm gonna go find your star pupil." She started to leave the room when Master Enki called after her.
"Be kind to Laura. She can be a little misguided at times, but her heart has always been in the right place."
Carmilla snorted as she kept walking away. As if she didn't already know that...
The sun was a lot stronger than the pilot anticipated. And her new accessory made the heat that much more uncomfortable. She tried to pull at the collar to let some air hit the skin beneath it, but groaned when she found no relief. When she left the Enclave, she headed south like she was instructed. And she felt herself heading toward Laura's presence, but she didn't realize just how far south the blonde had actually gone.
She waded through the tall, yellow Dantooine grasslands. The wind occasionally swept through and created this peaceful surrounding. The world seemed calm; so unlike what was already stewing in the galaxy. It felt like she was in a whole other universe.
Finally, she found the young Jedi standing on a cliff, looking down at the vast grasslands below. It was already midday now. The sun was setting behind the blonde, and her usual braided hair was left loose; blowing in the gentle breeze. As Carmilla stepped closer, she saw her eyes were closed. She was standing there, feeling the warmth of the setting sun against her skin as the wind danced through her hair.
The hostility the pilot had seen earlier was no longer there. Laura looked so pure in the gentle light; she looked as if a weight had been lifted. A small smile grew across the blonde's lips as she tucked unruly hair behind her ear. Carmilla found herself smile at the sight. And then, Laura opened her eyes and turned to meet the brunette's stare; her smile blooming at the sudden appearance.
And then it hit her. Carmilla had dreamt this. This exact scene had already been played out in her mind some time ago. She remembered not understanding who this Laura was; how it was nothing like the Jedi she knew in real life. But so much had happened since she had the dream. She knew this was Laura. And her heart pounded harder in her chest at that thought.
"You found me," the Jedi stated with an unexpected kindness. Carmilla felt herself melt at the innocence. She tried to clear her throat to regain composure.
"Forget we're bonded, princess?"
Laura continued to smile as she shook her head. "Just wasn't sure if you'd come after me or not."
"I don't think this bond thing really gives me a choice." The blonde frowned, and after Carmilla saw that, her eyes widened. "No, I didn't mean it like that. It's just..." The brunette took a deep breath. "You feel kind of inevitable to me now. I don't think I could leave you behind if I tried."
Honey eyes stared back in wonder. The action alone made the pilot feel smaller and smaller. Laura gave her a tender smile before looking back off of the cliff.
"Ever since I first came here to train at the Enclave, this place was always my safe haven. I'd sneak off and just sit. I'd watch the clouds, the stars, the packs of beasts that roamed below. And I'd imagine what my life would be like when I was older. I wondered if I'd become the Jedi Knight I dreamed of being. If I'd ever become a Master. If I'd help save the galaxy from some untold evil." She sighed before looking back at Carmilla. "But I also thought about the things I would never be able to do."
Laura gave a sad smile before continuing. "I'd never get to choose a career unless I left the Order. I'd never get to have a family. I'd never be able to fall in love." She looked off the cliff again. "My dad loved my mother so much. I think that's the one thing I'll truly regret; not being able to know what that kind of love feels like."
Carmilla's brows furrowed as she stared at the silhouette of the woman beside her. "Then leave."
The Jedi snapped her head in the pilot's direction; honey eyes wide. "What?" she whispered.
"Leave the Order. Why put yourself through all this bullshit when you won't be able to have what you want?"
"But I believe in the Order. I am a Jedi. It's who I am," Laura explained gently.
"Clearly not since you long to have something you're supposed to be dead against."
"That's- I'm allowed to think of what ifs, Carm," she answered, slightly flustered.
"But you shouldn't," the brunette replied simply. "You're taught not to feel emotions. I get it. Anger definitely leads to the Darkside. Hatred, jealousy, fear; they all can take you down that path. I've been there. I'm still struggling from being there. But the strength you have to feel of those emotions in order to take you there, that's where the danger lies. Not from getting riled up in an argument; not from hating the color brown; not from wishing you had your friend's new shoes. And fearing for your life when you're in danger? How can that be wrong? That fear helps you survive."
Laura watched as Carmilla looked out into the valley.
"What you felt back in the Council Chambers? That was powerful," she admitted before looking at Laura. "Fighting for what you believe isn't evil. Not to me."
"But what is it that I believe?" the blonde asked weakly.
Carmilla shrugged. "That I'm not gonna kill everyone?"
Laura chuckled. "That's debatable." The pilot grinned as Laura's gaze fell to the collar around her neck. A frown took over the blonde's face. "I'm sorry they did that to you."
"What? You're not into it? You seemed like a collar kind of girl," Carmilla smirked with a wink.
The Jedi rolled her eyes. "I would have preferred a gag."
"Oooo... kinky! This bond is bringing out a whole different side of you, Hollis. I'm likin' it."
"That's rare, considering your disdain for most things."
"Ah, but you aren't most things, princess," she continued giving her usual smirk.
Laura then stared back at her in confusion. "How are you not more upset that we're basically joined at the hip; or mind, technically. Or maybe soul? I don't really get where it's all- Nevermind that," she said catching herself before a rant. "You don't seem bothered. You're actually making jokes about it."
"As annoying as you can be, you're not the worst, cupcake," Carmilla said with a small smile before turning from the cliff and walking away. "We better get going. Don't want them to come hunting us down. Or shocking me," she turned back to stare at Laura incredulously. "Did you know this doubles as a shock collar?"
Laura sighed as she began to walk after her. "It serves as a precaution."
Carmilla shook her head. "Fucking Jedi and their precautions. Why can't you guys be normal and just shoot someone if they start acting out?"
"Because that wouldn't make us Jedi," the blonde deadpanned.
"All your rules bore me."
"And your lack of rules annoys me."
The brunette smirked at her. "And it's this kind of bickering that proves the sex would be amazing." Laura felt her entire face turn red. Carmilla chuckled and started walking off again. "Come on, cutie. Let's get you back to Coruscant."
Laura left her quarters on the Lustig and turned to see Carmilla's door open. She peeked in to see the pilot holding a screwdriver as she rubbed her bare neck. The collar sat on her bed unlocked.
"What- How is your collar off?!"
Carmilla looked up with brows shooting toward her hairline. She then chuckled. "I thought I told you I was really good with my hands..." she said with a wink.
"Carm."
"I'm tech savvy, okay? You know that. And I'm only letting my neck breathe while we're on the ship. I'm playing by your precious Council's rules. Don't worry."
Laura sighed. "Unbelievable." She stood quietly for a moment as Carmilla rummaged through her toolbox on the bed. "How are you doing?" she asked softly.
The pilot glanced at her for a second before going back to what she was doing. "Peachy."
"Carm."
The brunette huffed before standing straight up and turning to face the Jedi. She threw her hands up exasperatedly. "What do you want me to say? That I'm terrified? That I feel powerless? That it's only a matter of time before our honeymoon gets ruined by your mother-in-law?"
Laura crossed her arms over her chest and leaned against the doorway. "If this is a honeymoon, I think I've misunderstood the concept. Because this seems pretty crappy for a honeymoon."
Carmilla smirked. "Well if you wanted a traditional one, you should have said so earlier. I thought my girl would like a little excitement. I guess running for our lives wasn't the best choice."
"A little excitement is a surprise dinner watching the sunset. Not being on the verge of getting murdered."
The pilot's brows lifted as a smile spread across her lips. "You want romance? I can give you romance, princess."
Laura rolled her eyes despite smiling. "I'm sure you could. But seeing how we really are on the verge of getting murdered, you might want to raincheck."
"Can't watch the sunset in the rain," Carmilla agreed sadly.
"You're allowed to talk to someone if you're upset, Carm. You don't have to bury it inside."
"I'm used to it," she answered as she looked down at the floor.
"Well I don't want you to be." Carmilla's eyes lifted to lock with determined honey eyes. "I'm here to help you. So let me."
"I know you're trying to do your job, but-"
"Stop," Laura interrupted firmly, leaning off of the doorway and squaring her shoulders. "My job is to try and protect you for the good of the bond, and to take down your mother. It's not my job to care." She took a deep breath before her voice came out significantly softer. "So let me."
This woman... She continued to turn Carmilla's world upside down. The last time someone cared about her... It was a long time ago. Carmilla couldn't protect that person back then. When someone cared for her, bad things happened. How was she going to keep Laura safe now?
"I don't want you to get hurt," she practically whispered.
"You'll only hurt me if you push me away," Laura said with a kind smile as she took a step closer.
Carmilla didn't respond right away. But finally, she began to chuckle. "You really are a horrible Jedi."
"Hey!"
"What Jedi wants to be best friends with an ex-Dark Jedi?"
Laura rolled her eyes. "You think you're such a bad person, but you're all soft and squishy on the inside."
Carmilla stared at her blankly for a second. "You're insane. I have literally murdered hundreds of people."
The blonde frowned. "Well that's when you were all drunk off the Darkside."
"Drunk off-? I'm really questioning whether you understand how the Force actually works, cupcake."
"You've changed," Laura said sternly. "I can feel it. You're not this evil person. Maybe you were once, but not anymore."
The brunette had to force a swallow. The Jedi was causing her to lose her breath. What was happening to her? Was it because of the bond? Or was it simply just Laura? "Who are you?" she asked quietly as she searched honey eyes.
Laura then grinned innocently. "I'm your new best friend!"
Carmilla scoffed and turned back to her toolbox in order to hide her smile. "Do best friends make out?"
"No."
"Damn... Well I definitely know they shower together."
"Carm!"
The pilot chuckled. "Go check the navigation and see how close we are, bestie."