Tainted Heart

How could you be so eager to see someone, but be so nervous and scared at the same time? That's what Kelley was wondering as she stood outside Hope's door. She was always so positive about things but this she wasn't too sure of. Hope was the type of person that didn't take shit from anyone. The kind of person that would cut you out of her life completely if you did her wrong. She would build up walls to protect herself at the first sign of danger.

Why was Hope even giving her a chance? Kelley asked herself over and over.

Whatever the reason was, Kelley was not going to question it. She was going to do everything in her power to show Hope how much she cared for her, and how much she wanted to be with her.

So there she was, a nervous wreck, standing outside of Hope's door. She had been just standing there for about five minutes, not finding it in her to just knock on the damn door. She thought to herself; what if she doesn't want to be with me after I hurt her?

"Come on Kelley! Grow some and just knock." Kelley said out loud to herself.

On the other side of the door, Hope was standing, waiting for Kelley to knock. She had heard the car pull up and was about to open the door but she decided to wait. She didn't want Kelley thinking she was that eager to see her. But then five minutes had passed and still no knock. She looked through the peephole to see Kelley talking to herself.

She smiled at the sight. Kelley was nervous, anyone could tell. She was giving herself what looked like a pep talk and it was the cutest thing ever. Hope decided to end the girl's misery and open the door just as she was about to knock.

"Hey," Hope smiled at Kelley.

"Hey," Kelley said shyly looking down trying to hide her blush.

"I was going to wait until you knocked but for what I saw, it didn't seem like it was going to be anytime soon." Hope teased. Kelley looked up.

"Yeah I umm.. Sorry," Kelley said finally making eye contact with Hope.

"Don't be," Hope said, "come in please." Kelley followed Hope in to the living room.

"So how've you been?" Kelley felt stupid as soon as those words left her mouth.

"I've been better," Hope turned around and headed for the kitchen, "want anything to drink?"

"Water. Just water please," Kelley was still standing by the couch. She was too nervous to even move. She didn't know why but she was.

"You know you can sit, or are you planning on standing the whole time you're here?" Hope looked confused at how nervous Kelley seemed, the Kelley she knew was no where to be seen.

Hope walked over and handed Kelley a water bottle, and sat down on her couch. Kelley followed, sitting close but leaving a safe distance between them.

"I'm sorry," Kelley said again looking down at the water bottle in her hands. "I'm so sorry for everything. I know it hurt you, and I hate that I did that to you."

"I know, and it did hurt more that I could of imagined to be honest," Kelley looked up at Hope, hearing her say that made Kelley want to cry. "You know I was gonna ask you to be my girlfriend that night, at dinner, I was going to make us official."

Kelley couldn't hold back the tears that started to roll down her cheeks.

"You were?" Kelley asked sadly, bringing her hands to her face to wipe down the tears.

"I was," Hope was now trying to hold back her own tears, she didn't want to start crying because she knew wouldn't be able to stop. "Who is she?"

"That would be Sarah, my ex. Her and I..." Kelley said, "we have history, like bad history. And she just came in, and she kissed me. And I pulled away, I swear, as soon as she did. And then she was about to kiss me again, and that's when-"

"That's when I showed up. I know we weren't official and we were taking things slow, but it hurt. You just stood there and let her kiss you. Do yo- um...do you still have feelings for her?" Hope wasn't too sure if she wanted to know the answer to that question, especially if it was a yes, but she had to know.

"I don't," Kelley said "I don't love her anymore. I used to but she ruined all that, she hurt me so many damn times and I let her do it because I thought she was it for me, but she isn't it for me. She came to Seattle thinking I would go back to her, just like that after everything, after all the cheating. I was stupid to stay with her every single time but I hit my breaking point when she cheated on me with my best friend," her voice broke at the last sentence, her bestfriend Kyle had been one of her oldest friends. She knew him since they were ten. Sarah had not only ruined their relationship but she had ruined Kelley's relationship with her bestfriend.

"She destroyed me. I was devastated, the person I thought was it for me broke my heart in pieces. I didn't think I could come back from it. I thought I would always be miserable but then I met you." Kelley smiled sadly at Hope, "I met you, Hope, and you make me feel all these feelings I didn't think I could. And then she comes and just ruins everything for me. She thought she could come and I would take her back like every other single time. But I had you, I have you now and that's all I want. I want you Hope, just you. I'm so sorry, you need to know that. I'm sorry I hurt you, I never meant to do that, I never want to do that." Kelley was now crying and Hope couldn't help but let her tears fall too at the sight of the younger girl breaking down in front of her.

Here she was thinking this was it, there wasn't going to be anymore Kelley and Hope. But hearing how much Kelley was hurting because of all this broke her heart. She had been mad at Kelley for the last two days until today. She had forgiven Kelley. She wasn't going to let anyone hurt Kelley, not Sarah, not Kyle, not anyone for that matter. She closed the distance and brought Kelley in for a hug, which only made Kelley cry more.

"I'm so sorry Hope, I don't ever want to hurt you," Kelley buried her head in Hope's neck, holding onto her like it was the last time she would hold her.

"I know I know, I'm sorry I didn't let you explain. I'm sorry I assumed the worst," Hope said kissing the top of Kelley's head "There are still things we need to talk about but right now I just want you to know I'm here for you I don't just want you too Kell, you have no idea how much I need you."

"I could stay like this holding you and I would never get tired of doing so," Kelley mumbled into Hope's neck. Hope slowly layed back down on her couch bringing Kelley's head to rest in her chest.

"Good because I kinda like you and I wouldn't want you to get tired of me that easily" Hope placed another kiss on Kelley's head.

"I really wanna kiss you right now," Kelley said looking up to meet Hope's eyes.

"Are you asking for permission?" Hope raised an eyebrow and smiled. Kelley was too cute for her own good sometimes.

"That depends on your answer...." Kelley had the biggest smile on her face, a real one.

"Well how about this, if you say yes to being my official girlfriend you won't ever have to ask for permission to kiss me," she asked carefully hoping Kelley would say yes.

Kelley's eyes were filled with so much emotion. Two days ago she was almost sure she had lost Hope for good. And she had Sarah to thank for it. She had been so heartbroken the last two days, and now here she was laying happily in Hope's arms, Hope asking her if she wanted to be her girlfriend and all Kelley wanted to do was cry out of pure happiness.

"Yes a million times yes," Kelley beamed and climbed up to meet Hope's lips with her own in a sloppy kiss.

"Oh yeah. Not. Even. Gonna. Think about it?" Hope asked between kisses.

"No way in hell, you're mine now Solo!" Kelley said.

"And you're mine O'Hara," Hope was smiling down at the sight of Kelley resting her head in her chest. She couldn't explain the happiness she felt, she had never been this happy. Kelley made her happy "Only mine."

They layed there until Kelley's stomach announced it was hungry. Hope, as much as she didn't want to move, got up to order some pizza for them. When she came back Kelley had turned on the TV to a cartoon channel (of course). Hope smiled at the sight of her.

"Come here babe," Kelley held out her arms to her. "Come keep me warm."

"I can think of something else we can do to keep you warm" Hope teased kissing Kelley's neck.

"As much fun as that sounds, pizza will be here soon," Kelley closed the distance and gave Hope a chaste kiss, "but after that I'm all yours babe."

"Mmh, you're all mine," Hope smiled bringing their foreheads together. "I absolutely love the sound of that."

"Me too," Kelley pushes Hope to her back straddling her knees on each side of her waist. "In the meantime, we can just make out."

Hope laughed at Kelley's words only to be cut off by Kelley's lips landing on hers. Hope sighs into the kiss bringing her hands to cup Kelley's face.

The kiss feels different than others they've had. It has more emotion, like they're sealing their new relationship with it. It feels different because now Kelley is Hope's, and Hope is Kelley's. And it's the best thing that has happened to them. The kiss is full of emotion and want.

It's slowly heating up between them when they hear someone clear their throat. Kelley rolls over and ends up hitting the floor.

"Fuck"

"Well," Carli says turned away from them, "is it safe to look now?"

To say they were startled is an understatement. Hope can't tell if her heart is racing because of Kelley, or because of Carli.

"Ever heard of knocking?" Hope asks annoyed at Carli's interruption.

"Ever heard of a text message?" Carli throws back, turning around to face them. Not even bothering to answer Hope's question, she looks to where Kelley is sitting in the floor. "Hey Kelley!"

"Hey," Kelley's face is as red as it can be.

"Well I guess it's safe to say you guys worked things off, good that's good!" Carli looked over at Hope, who was smiling like she used to at the mention of Kelley. "I'll get out of your guys' way."

"No stay," Hope said "we just ordered pizza. Stay and eat with us, I mean today is as good as any day for you and Kell to officially meet I guess. Is that ok with you Kell?" She looked over at Kelley.

"Yeah stay," she gave Carli a smile and got up off the floor where she was still sitting. "It's nice to meet you officially under not so bad circumstances."

"I wouldn't say bad but I did walk in on you two making out like horny teenagers so-" she was cut off by Hope.

"Will you be nice to my girlfriend" she went to Kelley's side and gave her a kiss on the cheek. Which only made Kelley blush more than she already was. "You're gonna scare her away, I just got her back." Hope smiled down at Kelley.

"Oh my god you guys are that kind of couple!" Carli walked over to the kitchen. "Disgustingly cute, mostly disgusting."

"How was you're date last night?" Hope asked smirking at Carli who glared at her.

"It wasn't a date," Carli went to open the fridge. "Beer?" She asked at both Kelley and Hope who had followed her to the kitchen and were now sitting. They both nodded.

"What's his name?" Hope casually asked.

"His name is Brian," Hope smiled at Carli, "it wasn't a date. We just went to dinner and the she bar afterwards. Same thing me and you do all the time, and we're not dating are we?"

Hope made a face feigning disgust, "Oh god no!" Carli glared again, making Kelley giggle.

"You guys fight like a married couple," Kelley said between giggles. "If I didn't know better, I would be kinda worried right now"

"Believe me nothing to worry about Kelley, I can only stand this one for so long," Carli laughed.

"Is that why you always come crawling to me to snuggle you up, your words not mine." Hope said, earning a laugh from Kelley.

"You're a dead woman Solo. We had an agreement!" Carli was blushing a little giving Hope her best death glare.

After pizza arrived, the three of them settled in the living room.

"So Kelley, I know you're from Georgia, and I know you moved to Seattle recently. But what I don't know, is why you decided to move?" Carli asked, she wanted to get to know the younger woman that made Hope the happiest she had been in a while.

"Well my brother needed me, his wife passed away a few months ago," Hope squeezed Kelley's hand, Kelley smiled sadly at Carli, "he was a mess, still is but he has two wonderful little guys that hold him together. So I decided to make the move to help him in whatever he needs."

"That's really great of you to offer to move, speaks volumes about you," Carli gave her a sympathetic smile.

"Well family is very important to me, and he's always been my rock and has always been there for me, it was only fitting I do the same for him." Kelley said looking over at Hope who was looking at her with admiration.

After a whole pizza, a few beers and a whole lot of Carli asking Kelley about her whole life. Hope gave Carli a look as if to tell her to stop with the questioning and moved to get up.

"You guys want another beer?" Hope asked getting up from her spot on next to Kelley. Both Carli and Kelley nodded.

"Ok well I'm gonna go pee and then I'll be back with more alcohol" Kelley and Carli just sat there staring at Hope walking up the stairs.

"So Kelley," Carli broke the silence, "what are your intentions with my best friend Hope Solo? And just how serious are you about her?"

Kelley couldn't find any words. She let out a nervous chuckle and looked at Carli, who had a very serious look on her face. She wasn't even smiling, and that scared the crap out Kelley for some reason(but she wasn't gonna let that show).

"I am very serious about Hope ma'am," Kelley said, her southern accent coming out, "my intentions are the best I promise."

Carli couldn't keep her serious face. She started laughing at Kelley's dorkiness. How on earth she and Hope fit together, Carli didn't have a clue. But they did.

"Oh my god, that accent... lose it or we can never be friends," Carli said in between bursts of laughter.

"I've heard it's cute from other people, what do you mean lose it?" Kelley asked faking hurt.

"Who told you that, your mother?" Carli teased.

"Hey leave my mother out of this!" Kelley laughed throwing a pillow at Carli which she batted away before ot hit her face.

"Violence is not gonna earn you points with your girlfriend's best friend you know!" Carli chuckled at the younger girl, throwing back the pillow hitting Kelley softly in the head. "You're lucky I like you."

"I like her too," Hope walked back to where the two girls where sitting handing a beer to each. "I leave for 5 minutes and you guys are already beating eachother up with my pillows, how old are you guys?"

Hope had been listening to the conversation, being drawn in when she heard the kind of raucous laughter Carli saves for close friends. She overheard the friendly banter going on between the two. She didn't mean to spy on them, but just listening and seeing Kelley get along with one of the most important people in her life made her heart flutter. It was just the way the two were so comfortable with eachother. Carli had never been like this with Adrian. She was always complaining to Hope about him, telling her she deserved better. So seeing her so comfortable talking and joking around with her girlfriend was a sight she liked.

"Hey! Can we keep her? I like her!" Carli asked smirking. "And can I name her too? I'm not so sure I like the name Kelley...." Kelley gasped, one hand flying to her chest with mock horror.

"Heyyy!! You're just jelous because I stole your cuddling buddy!" Kelley stuck her toung out at Carli feeling very proud at what she had came up with to get back at Carli. Hope rolled her eyes laughing at the two ridiculous idiots.

"You guys are too much, what have I done?" Hope said reaching over and placing a kiss on Kelley's cheek. At the same time Kelley turned and the kiss ended on her lips instead.

"Gross you two stop it!" Carli covered her eyes, "I think I'm gonna go now you guys are too much." Kelley and Hope smiled at Carli.

Carli was happy to see her best friend smiling. After spending the last few days comforting her, it was great to see her smile reach her eyes. If there was anyone that could give Hope the happiness she deserved, it was Kelley. Carli couldn't explain it but she felt like Kelley was going to be around for a while. They fit together so perfectly and all she could do was be happy for Hope to finally find someone that could make her this happy.