Fever
One hour. Therese kept looking at the clock in thirty second intervals. She would have to leave in forty minutes to make it in time, but she would leave in twenty. Just to be on the safe side. Safe side. Funnee.
She was either breathing heavily or not breathing at all.
Dannie brought over champagne. He was overjoyed, grinning from one ear to another. It'd been a spectacular night for the club as well. He didn't even seem to mind the drunken latecomer who had insisted he play old disco - ABBA's Waterloo - instead of jazz. The place was booming with customers and for him it was all that mattered.
"This has been absolutely nerve-wracking", Gen contemplated tasting her bubbly. "You think?" Therese smiled at her somewhat sarcastically. "Now that we've come this far, only one final question remains..." Hearing Gen, Alex moved uneasily in her chair. What now? "Please tell me you're not wearing crappy underwear, are you?" The expression on Gen’s face was troubled. "WHAT?" Unfortunately Therese had heard her correctly. "NO! And what kind of a question is that anyway?!?"
Gen raised her hand to cool her off. "No need to get so worked up about this. It's just this theory of mine..." Alex sighed audibly. "Here we go again." Gen ignored her remark. "...that there's a correlation between how you – hmm, how do I put it – ‘prepare’ yourself for a big night on the town and how it eventually turns out." Therese looked at her nonplussed. "And just what does all this have to do with underwear?" Gen took a moment before she answered.
"Being single, every time I put on some hot little number, I ended up walking home alone." Gen frowned at her memories. "Same with the bed linens. Don't you dare change your sheets while getting your hopes up, you'll only end up messing up your chances." She poured whatever champagne there was left in the bottle into her own glass.
"Then again when I didn't go through all the trouble I always scored big time..." Alex found the last remark terribly amusing. "So that explains the granny pants you had on..." Gen glanced at her uneasily. "Not that I wanted you any less for that matter. I actually found 'em adorable..." She was all smiles.
"Well, I myself am perfectly content not to know the details of Miss Belivet's undergarments, thank you very much, but I'd assume it's safe to say she has this in the bag." Alex was beaming. "And this is not jinxing it either since it's not like she wants to go over the arrangements at two in the morning..." Gen started giggling and mimicking a voice which was definitely not Carol’s: "Oh Miss Belivet, there's something I'd like to arrange over you..." It was all so stupid and infantile – and loving, Therese couldn't help but smile along their laughter. And she knew that they knew how very nervous she was about meeting Carol – about their "night time rendez-vous" as Gen so eloquently put it.
When she got up to leave Gen hugged her tightly. This time she even managed to keep her mouth shut.
At ten to two she was again standing in front of Carol's apartment building. She couldn't see any light in her windows which suddenly made her concerned. What if she had changed her mind about wanting to see her? Worried, she made her way to the front door half expecting not to be let inside. The concierge greeted her politely and allowed her to step into the elevator.
The lights in the foyer were turned low except for one spotlight pointing at a small side table. Therese had never seen it there before and it did look quite out of place in the middle of the floor. What was on the table, however, made her smile wider than ever: a single white rose, her rose. Abby, dear, dear Abby, she thought.
"Thank you." Carol's words broke the silence. "I only wish you'd given it to me in person." Her voice was unusually quiet. Therese could feel her heart picking up speed, wildly skipping beats and racing forward. "I..." she started out, "I..." but couldn't finish. For a brief moment it was almost too much, almost unbearable to carry the weight of Carol's gaze, the true meaning of the anxious second before everything she had so stubbornly kept to herself would finally unfold. Because there was before and there was after and now they stood at the threshold of the all mighty, magnificent YES written on their faces.
Therese met Carol halfway, and it was only then she realized what Carol was wearing – a flowing, silk negligee which left very little to imagination. Therese swallowed hard. Blood seemed to abandon her brain altogether and rush towards her groin in one swift tidal wave which left her gasping for air.
The sudden abyss of her want rendered her limp, nearly lethargic. She was drowning, engulfed by her own desire, desperately searching something solid within to spring upwards again, to return to the surface once more. “I seem to be in a very bad way about you”, she mumbled out of breath her features ashen and rigid.
And then it happened quite fast though her life before Carol had plenty of time to flash before her eyes as a series of mere mediocre vignettes -Therese fastening her hands on her silken hips, touching the small of her back, Carol sliding her fingers behind her neck and bending her head to the mad collision of their lips.
There was nothing chaste about their first kiss. Nothing but the palpable urgency, the first impossible longing which pinned them in a passionate embrace against the wall. To kiss the neck, the collarbone, the triangle of light under the throat to feed the bottomless pit of desire.
"Take me to bed."
Leaving behind a trail of clothes, a set of odd particles forming awkward velvety shadows on the floor, they made their way to the room Therese had never seen before. Aware of only Carol’s crushing beauty, of her slender hands and soft skin, she fell – succumbed to the sensation of being touched, being caressed so slowly, so achingly Therese lost all sense of time and place, of herself as she once was.
Even if she had already tried to see it in her mind’s eye, the reality of their coming together was far more than she could have ever imagined. And it wasn’t really more, it was all. Carol’s arms sliding over her pale skin, her claim on her hungry lips, the platinum locks like ethereal feathers twirling on her abdomen.
“My angel…”
Carol moving even further, summoning her thighs to open with her mouth, Therese felt her body starting to tremble, shake violently. Arching her back in one involuntary motion she gave in to tears of joy and release, of happiness unforeseen.
“You okay?” Carol touched her face wiping away a loose strand of hair. Therese nodded. “I want to kiss you.” She smiled against her lips. “This is kind of my first time.” Astonished, Carol quirked an eyebrow. “Why didn’t you tell me? Are you sure you’re okay?” She looked worried. “I couldn’t be happier.” Therese nuzzled her head on Carol’s shoulder. “I don’t want you to do anything you wouldn’t want.” With a swift movement Therese pushed herself on top of her. “There is nothing I wouldn’t want…” Therese drowned the sentence in a kiss that didn’t quite stop but traveled on eager to map out the terra incognita she longed to call her lover.
Everything in her life had been a prelude to this. Every piano lesson she had attended, every cup of coffee she had ever tasted. Every cocktail she had ever mixed - and there had been many - had taken her a minute closer to Carol, to the bliss of her kiss and everything it entailed.
"Why did you wait so long?" Therese asked sliding her fingers over Carol's ribs. She sounded vulnerable, almost hurt. Carol's eyes were of a darker shade of grey and they glistened of the serenity of the fulfilment she had known only a moment ago. "I had to be sure," she said watching her lips, "I had to know this is what I want." She looked at Therese in a way that left no doubt she had made up her mind. "And I needed you to understand what you were getting into."
Therese placed a gentle kiss on her chest sensing it wouldn't remain quite so innocent if she were to continue. "And do you..?" she murmured burying her mouth on Carol's breasts, on her nipples. "...know what you want?" She couldn't help herself. "You make it very difficult for me to think, you know..." Carol whispered suddenly out of breath.
"Again?" she sighed when she felt Therese's lips moving down her abdomen, on the delicate surface of her thighs. "Again..." Carol groaned in abrupt decision brought up by desire so easily wakened anew.
"When did you know?" Therese asked when they once again found calmer solace in each other’s arms. "Yesterday. Watching you with Rindy." Carol's smile was shy and lovely. "When did you know?" Therese grinned sheepishly. "The moment I first laid my eyes upon you at Dannie's..." She let her hand disappear in Carol's blonde curls. "I knew I wanted you more than anything. More than anything I'd known before."
Carol let out an easy laugh that warmed her heart. "I had no idea. I thought you might care for me when we stayed at the inn and you did your damnedest not to look at that ridiculously big bed..." Therese cracked a smile. "I guess it was pretty obvious..." Carol looked at her sweetly. "I don't think it's ever obvious, at least if you're looking for signs to absolutely convince you." Therese thought about what Gen had said about not knowing until you know. She knew now.
Her reverie was interrupted by a sound emanating from her stomach. It was growling. "You poor thing, when did you last have something to eat?" Therese couldn't help but grin winningly which made Carol blush. "I mean food." She reached out to grab a cigarette from the night stand. "You have a dirty mind, you little minx..." Laughing, Therese pulled her closer. "For that you have only yourself to blame. What can I do if I find you utterly irresistible?" She wanted Carol to put the cigarette away and return to her arms.
"Oh no," she laughed, "not before we get something into that empty stomach of yours..." Feigning displeasure Therese kept her hands around Carol's waist. "But I don't want to let you out of this bed." Her eyes locked with Carol's. "I'm afraid to let you go... I'm so afraid that you may vanish in the air..." Carol seemed suddenly embarrassed. "Don't remind me of it", she said referring to the incident with Abby, "I acted so foolishly... I thought I'd never see you again." Therese kissed her shoulder and its lightness made Carol hum out of pleasure.
"Why did you?" she asked kissing the freckles on Carol's back. "Hmm... It had to do with the talk I had with Abby..." So Gen was right. "She knew right away what was going on the minute she saw us here." Carol sighed. "Abby pointed out how very young you are, and how very foolish it would be to rush into something right before our first show."
She turned to face Therese. "You have to understand she had nothing against it in principle. She just thought this wouldn't be the right time..." Therese searched her eyes to see if Carol had agreed with Abby. "But she changed her mind right after she'd seen you at Dannie's, the night she brought you the contract." Therese had noticed the change in Abby. "What made Abby think otherwise?" She kissed Carol's wrists tenderly. "She told me how very offended you were by her showing up, not looking at the contract at all... she took it as a sure sign of your genuine feelings for me. Quite a stretch, don't you think?" But no, it wasn't a stretch at all, Therese thought.
"Abby got it right. All of it." She stared at Carol's eyes for a second uncertain whether she should just leave it at that. She couldn't. "I'm in love with you." Astonished, Carol looked at her the gray eyes tearing up. She dumped the cigarette on the ashtray and climbed on top of Therese holding her gaze intently, searching if what she had just said was indeed true.
"I'm in love with you..." Therese repeated her eyes getting hazy, unfocused by Carol's hands starting their lovely round, Carol's lips brushing her jaw line, the luscious blonde curls leaving trails of desire on her skin. How was it possible to be so perfectly aroused in a fraction of a second? To lose all control and give in to just one thought throbbing in her mind? She wanted Carol to possess her, to make her eyes turn backwards, to lead her to the state of ecstasy which was Carol - mounting her petite body, pinning it against the bed with hers, overwhelming her until she was ready to scream out of sheer need to have her inside her. Therese could see the gray eyes, now darker, flicker in front of her, coaxing moans out of her, the crimson lips opening into a cry which finally erupted from Therese.
"Now food." Carol's voice was determined. "NO!" Therese yelled in mock resistance. "Yes. I'm not done with you yet so you'll need all the strength you can get." Her smile was deviously delicious. "Come on." Carol got out of bed and put on her robe. "NO!" Therese objected impishly seeing the voluptuous body disappear out of her sight. "Yes, the kitchen awaits." Carol's eyes were laughing.
Therese put on one of Carol's shirts and made an effort to follow her. "Who gave you the permission to cover yourself?" she reprimanded Therese amusedly. "I'm just following your lead, that's all. Quid pro quo." she replied in mock innocence. She let Carol lead her by the hand to the kitchen she already knew so well. Sitting on a bar stool beside the counter she observed Carol taking out food and setting it in front of her. Slices of bread, cold cuts, variety of cheeses, grapes and fruit salad. She was famished and she didn't mind showing it. "Well, you've certainly worked up quite an appetite", Carol said beaming at her apparent enthusiasm.
"How about a glass of champagne? I think we've deserved it." Carol took out two flutes and a chilled bottle of Dom Perignon. Watching Therese demolish the food she lit up another cigarette and took a moment to appreciate its taste in her mouth. Smoke rings vanished into air and she seemed to be lost in thought for a while. "You wanted to ask me things..?" With her mouth full Therese nodded. "What did you have in mind?"
Finally finished, Therese sighed of contentment. "Quite a lot, actually..." She didn't know where to begin. "Like, has there been many... before me?" Carol looked surprised. "You mean women? Or in general?" Therese was suddenly embarrassed. "Well, yeah, women..." Carol took a sip of her champagne. "Some."
At first she seemed unsure whether to elaborate or not. "I had my first experience when I was at the college." Surprised, Therese looked at her. "With Abby. We'd known each other practically forever and I guess I'd always sensed she was interested in me in that way." She'd been with Abby, she should've guessed it.
"Anyway, it didn't last. It was a fleeting thing, something that came and went like a hurricane leaving neither of us none the wiser. Well, I guess it left Abby wiser in a way. She's made far better choices than I have." Therese felt suddenly forlorn, discouraged by what she was hearing. Was this thing she had with Carol also a fleeting encounter? A hurricane that would blow over all too quickly and ruin her in its wake?
"I had a few short affairs with women while being married to Harge. Mostly before Rindy because I couldn't take it anymore after she was born. The secrecy, the lying, the sneaking around. And for what – for nothing, really." There was a bitter undertone to Carol's voice. "I didn't have it in me. Nor did I get anything out of it." She looked at Therese to see if she had understood. What she saw made her uneasy.
"Darling, all of this has nothing to do with you, you do realize that?" By now Therese was nearly reeling with jealousy. Carol came over and cupped her face with her hand. She forced Therese to look into her eyes. "It's all in the past and it has nothing to do with us, you hear? None of it can compete with us."
Therese buried her head on Carol's bosom. Tears stung in her eyes but she didn't want her to see them. "What is it, darling?" She couldn't fool Carol. "Oh, nothing, I'm just being silly..." she mumbled into her robe. All of a sudden Carol sounded very serious. "Therese, you must know I adore you, don't you?" Therese lifted her head revealing the sorry state she was in. "You do?" Wiping away her tears, Carol smiled at her. "Yes, dearest. I absolutely positively adore everything about you."
Therese stood up to meet her gaze, to kiss her lips softly but what started as a gentle reassurance soon turned into excitement, a mad leap towards the urgency she knew she would always feel with Carol. If she had feared being abandoned only a short while ago, it all evaporated the minute she sensed Carol's eager response, her immediate arousal under her probing touch, her fingers diving underneath the robe and reaching anxiously the center of her heat. Therese could feel her yielding, opening, letting her enter her very core. They leaned against the kitchen counter Carol's moans growing more vocal by every move of her hand. Becoming more confident with each stroke she held her tightly in her grip finally letting her out of her sweet agony.
"You'll be the end of me..." Carol whispered her cheeks flushed. "Not that I'm complaining."