Fighting a Salty Pepper
The odd pair made it past the "Librarby" when Salem stopped walking suddenly. This almost caused Sans to walk right into her, but he quickly stopped and scowled down at her.
"the hell is wrong now?"
"S-shut up... I just... It's nothing."
With a stubborn pout, Salem marched forward and avoided looking at Sans. Now watching her with curiosity, Sans noticed that every few minutes, Salem would bring up her arms as if to hug something. But realizing that she wasn't carrying anything, Salem would quickly lower her arms or just settle with hugging herself. A smug smile spread across Sans face and he picked up the pace to be next to Salem.
"aw, is the lil brat missin' her stuffed animal? what are ya, three?"
Flinching a bit, Salem whipped around to face Sans. Her face was bright red from blushing, making it obvious that Sans was right.
"SHUT UP! Mercy was my weapon okay?"
"mercy? you named your doll mercy? and use it as a weapon?"
"S-so what? It's ironic... Don't laugh at me!"
"heh, it's hard not to. apparently my mate is a three year old."
"I'm not three! I'm Twe-"
"ENOUGH! STOP YOUR JABBERING YOU FILTHY PESTS! I SEE YOU'RE STILL FOLLOWING THAT HUMAN AROUND LIKE A BEATEN DOG SANS. THIS IS YOUR LAST CHANCE BROTHER... BE A GOOD GUARD AND HAND OVER THAT SOUL SO I CAN GET MY PROMOTION! HELL, IF YOU DO IT RIGHT NOW, I'LL FORGET THIS ENTIRE FIASCO HAPPENED! BUT IF NOT..."
Papyrus suddenly snapped his fingers and bones surrounded the pair, effectively trapping them where they stood. Sans' eyes widened and he started to sweat as he looked to his brother. Scowling, Salem looked up at Papyrus with little fear and stood between the two brothers.
"Don't talk to him like that! The only time he acts like a beaten dog is when you're hounding him! Look here you piece of shit! I'm gonna fucking shove your feet through your eye-sockets and make you-!"
A boney hand was suddenly covering Salem's mouth in an attempt to shut her up. Still a little too angry to think rationally, Salem bit Sans hand. She instantly regretted it and squealed in pain while bringing her own hand to her mouth. Note: Do not bite bone as if it is flesh.
"shut the fuck up brat! yur not helpin' anything by runnin yur mouth!"
Still holding her mouth, Salem scowled but stayed silent. Sans looked back to his brother and gave a half hearted smile.
"aw, common br- boss. whatdaya what with this wimpy thing anyway? she probably couldn't even-"
"SILENCE! YOU HAD YOUR CHANCE TRAITOR. AS FOR YOU HUMAN. HOW DARE YOU TALK TO ME THAT WAY! YOUR DEATH WILL BE ANYTHING BUT SWIFT!"
Throwing his arm forward, a volley of bones launched towards Salem with surprising speed. Managing to doge them, Salem stumbled over to Sans and tackled him to the ground. The short skeleton fell with a grunt and soon Salem was running off to direct attacks away from him. Papyrus kept his sights on Salem and sent one attack after another. A few bones managed to hit Salem, taking her health down to four. She was half way through her HP already. While dodging another attack, Salem slipped in the snow and fell to her knees. Looking up to see more bones flying at her, Salem covered her head with her arms. However, instead of them hitting her, they were blocked by a wall of bones. Looking over to Sans, Salem gave a shaky smile in thanks and looked back over to Papyrus.
The tall skeleton mentioned then turned his attention to his brother. With a fierce scowl, Papyrus threw out an attack that seemed impossible to dodge. Salem's eyes went wide as the magic neared Sans before another wall of bones cancelled them out. A bright flash and static like zap overtook Salem's senses, temporarily disorienting her. More flashes ensued and Salem scrambled to get out of the way. Papyrus was pissed and only concentrating on his brother now. They were yelling to each other, most of it being taunts and mindless swears. But as time went on, Salem noticed the jeers get more personal. Sans was sweating now and obviously getting tired.
"OF COURSE I WOULD BE CURSED WITH THIS USELESS TRASH AS A BROTHER. I NEVER LIKED YOU SANS. YOU'RE WORTHLESS, WEAK, AND A WASTE OF SPACE. YOU SHOULD HAVE DIED LONG AGO."
Sans paused upon hearing this and scowled to himself.
"well then ya shoulda killed me when ya had the chance bro!"
"AS IF I CAN'T DO JUST THAT NOW? KILLING YOU WOULD BE OF NO BOTHER TO ME. YOU ARE A TRAITOR AND HAVE CLAIMED A HUMAN AS A MATE. YOU ARE NOTHING BUT-"
"OH my FUCKING GOD! Would you shut the fuck up you egotistical, narcissistic, walking emotional disaster!?It's like I'm looking at some teenager with brother issues and a problem with authority! Grow the fuck up you retarded maggot shit! And Sans you dumb fuck! The only one allowed to die around here is ME, got it?!"
Once again Salem found herself screaming in anger at the skeleton brothers. Marching over to the two, Salem managed to come right up next to a hunched over Papyrus and slapped his face. Silence overtook the clearing and Sans looked on with wide eye sockets. Papyrus was obviously shocked while Salem stood there like she didn't just do the most unheard of thing ever. After staring at each other for a few moments, Papyrus finally narrowed his eyes and raised a hand to attack back. Sans instinctively reached out to Salem, but she beat him to action. With enraged eyes, Salem lashed out her hand and grabbed hold of Papyrus' neck... Er, Spine? Tightening her grip, Salem pulled on it with more strength than most would think a child could posses. Papyrus let out a rather unflattering yelp as Salem dragged him to her height.
"Look here you shit stain. I am fucking DONE with you and your crap. Piss me off again, and I don't care if you are Sans' brother. I will END you in the most barbaric and brutal of fashions. You will wish it were Undyne that got a hold of you. By the time you have finally given up hope and started faded to dust, all of the underground will have heard your cries for mercy and screams of pain. Then I'll take yur dust and use it as lube for Jerry's small di-"
Once again, a skeletal hand stifled Salem's words and yanked her back. Falling back onto Sans' chest, Salem did her best to not hit him to get back at the tall skeleton now at her feet. She didn't stop struggling however until Sans hugged her. Freezing up, Salem stopped talking and looked at Sans in slight horror. Seeing this, Sans quickly let her go and motioned towards Papyrus.
"ya can stop now honey... damn, i'd hate to be on yur bad side... my bro's had enough... any more of that and he might get a little too choked up."
Narrowing her eyes and crossing her arms, Salem looked down at Papyrus and felt slightly guilty for the state he was now in. The lanky skeleton was on his hands and knees, wheezing in an attempt to catch his breath. Because apparently even skeletons need to breathe? His skull was flushed an orange-red and his bones shook. Giving a huff, Salem bent down and offered a hand to the grouch. His eyes widened a bit and looked at Salem with uncertainty.
"I'm helping you stand up... Dumb ass... We can't have the next head of the royal guard on his hands and knees before a measly human can we? So get off your ass and get your shit together..."
"I-I DON'T NEED A HUMAN'S HELP!"
"EXCUSE me?!"
In a fit of anger, Salem kicked Papyrus, making him fall on his face in the snow. With a booted foot, Salem stomped down on the skeleton's spine. Sans started to sweat and blush a bit. Pulling at Salem's hoodie lightly, Sans tried to get her to move her foot.
"n-now Honey... calm down... he just-"
"Tsk, and he expects to be head of the royal guard like this? Pathetic. You can't expect Sans to get stronger if you're this weak yourself Papyrus. Now get up!"
This comment seemed to jolt Pap out of his brooding and he quickly got to his feet. Standing straight and avoiding everyone else's gaze, he coughed into his fist and turned to look at his house. After a long moment of silence, Papyrus looked back to the two and frowned.
"SANS, YOU ARE COMPLETELY HOPELESS. COME BACK HOME AND GET SOME SLEEP. BRING YOUR... MATE... AS WELL. THE HUMAN YOU HAVE CLAIMED SEEMS TO BE TOLERABLE. SHE HAS EVEN EARNED A SLIVER OF MY RESPECT. NOW HURRY UP. I AM MAKING LASAGNA I TONIGHT."
"what's the special occasion br-boss?"
"THERE IS NOTHING SPECIAL ABOUT TODAY. I SIMPLY FEEL LIKE COOKING IS ALL."
"Thank you very much Papyrus. I really appri-"
"IT'S NOT LIKE I'M DOING THIS FOR YOU HUMAN. I AM SIMPLY CONCERNED FOR THE HEALTH OF MY WORTHLESS BROTHER. SANS CAN'T EVEN TAKE CARE OF HIMSELF, SO I, PAPYRUS, AM LEFT TO DO SO."
"Aw! So you DO love your brother!"
"I NEVER INSINUATED SUCH A THING PUNY HUMAN! IT IS SIMPLY MY DUTY AS THE STRONGER BROTHER TO LOOK OUT FOR HIM."
Salem said nothing else, but when Papyrus turned his back, she nudged Sans with her elbow and wiggled her eyebrows. Sans blushed and hid his face in his hood. Seeing Pap wait for them, Salem hooked her arm through Sans' and dragged him to the house. Not that she could see, but this caused Sans to blush even more. She was really starting to get to him. Stupid brat.