In love may you find me.

You've never battled like this. Well for starters, you've been in wars, yes, but not in battles, per se. In the middle of people killing each others. In Mount Weathers, you almost were. First line. But things didn't go as planned. You killed a man, sure, you killed hundreds. You know what it's like to plunge a knife in a man's throat. You know what it's like to take the decision to make a bridge explode, to pull a lever, or to burn people you didn't met before in a giant fire, ending countless lives that will forever tear at your heart. But this? This is new, and scary. The sound of bullets tearing at skin, swords splitting the air. The smell of burnt flesh that you know too well, running for your life at the same time as risking it to take those of others. Tripping over dead bodies.

The smoke that clouds your vision, the burning red glow that's reflecting on everybody's skin. The uncertainty of life, of being, of existence. Everything is in slow motion. The way you see your mother pass you by, giving grounders weapons that they don't know nor are willing to use. Kane, shooting relentlessly. You think you see Lincoln in there, attacking someone from behind. They freed him, good. But then you see Jasper, falling on the ground, hit right between his eyes. You want to scream, stop. You want to tell them, no more blood. Stop the bloodshed. One more of your friend has fallen, you want to tell everybody. Let's just stop for a minute and ponder on this. Is any more death necessary? Is any more life worth taking?

But there is no time, you don't have a minute. You want to end this and to do that you have to find Pike. One last look at Lexa, just dodging a bullet and disappearing behind a tree and you go. You'll find her. She'll be there when you do. She'll be alive and well. It takes you a minute to find him, his back turned on you, shooting a grounder that was already down. But he feels you and turns around. You recognize him from the Ark. Instantly you raise your gun.

"It's over Pike. Most of your men have fallen. Too many have died. Let's stop this once and for all. Surrender."

"Over my dead body." His gun raise and you know you need to do this. You don't want to but if he doesn't surrender, it only means it's your life against his. You barely hear Lexa calling your name before you press the trigger of your gun. You have to kill him. However, the faint click resonnates louder than if your gun had worked. You don't have the time to realize that your don't have any bullets left when your body is being pushed to the side, and you hear two gunshot.

You don't feel pain, that's weird because you could have sworn one of the shot was from Pike, but then, you see Lexa, smiling in front of you, blood coming out of her body. A scream escape your throat but you don't remember ordering your brain to do it. You see Pike fall, and Kane, weapon raised, approching you, but you keep screaming, as Lexa falls to her knees.

"Lexa!"

Your mom is besides you in seconds, you can't see anything with all the tears in your eyes, you don't even know where she was shot. You run to Pike, who's still moving. The bullet hit him in the throat and bloop is spilling out of his mouth.

"You fucking son of a bitch"You kneel over him and start hitting him, you can't believe he killed the love of your life. "Die, you fucking coward, die!" Tears are mixing with his blood and you're being pulled from him has he gives his last breath. It's Kane, you're in his arms in seconds. You keep screaming.

"She's going to be fine, it's over, Clarke. It's done. He's dead." You come to, more aware of your surrounding, and Lexa is still kneeling, you see her moving. How can she move if she's dead? But then, you see your mom kneeling beside her, and she's speaking.

"The bullet hit your shoulder, through and through, can you move your fingers? Good. You're going to be fine, but we need to close the wound quickly."

You see her eyes then, she searches for you. She's here. Your laugh makes a funny sound from your throat and you take the two strides that separates you and launch yourself on the ground, wasting no time to put your arms around her. If you hurt her, she doesn't show it, and return the hug as fiercely despite the wound.

"I'm here, Clarke. I'm not leaving you."

You forget about Kane, your mother, and all the others that are gathering around you, searching for survivors in the dissipating smoke. You just pull back and kiss her, hard. Relieved, alive, grateful. Everyone is silent. Maybe it's because you're kissing the Commander in front of the Skaikru but it's not like you can help yourself.

When you pull back, it's Raven that breaks the silence first.

"Damn, I've been shot too and nobody is kissing me like that."

Nobody dares laugh, but you. You get up, taking Lexa with you and take in your surrounding for the first time. So many fallen bodies. You see Raven, holding her arms. One look at her and she dismisses the concern. It's just a graze, she shows you. She's got worse. Later, you think, you'll have to thank her. You're not sure what for but she sure deserves it.

When you walk back to camp, you pass Jasper's body. You all stop, not that far is Izel's. You want to cry again, and actually, you might have never stopped.

"Sinclair didn't make it either." Kane tells, looking at the ground. He'll be sharing your guilt. Maybe his will be greater for this war. And you guess that you all have crosses to bear. But then, you know that you all bear the same one, and in this world, all mistakes, bad decisions and situations just all come together. They all mix so that you can all share the same burden. Kane failed at protecting his people, letting them fall into the wrong hand. You failed them, Lexa failed them.

You promise yourself to come back later, take his body to the dropship. You'll burry him there, he would've liked it. But right now, people need assistance. There are wounded that need immediate attention and you're grateful that Arkadia is not far off the camp. They're all taken to the hospital, where Kane's people are still waiting. Beds are being brought, medicine is distributed, and you help your mother with stitches, pulling out arrows, stopping bleedings and when it's Lexa's turn, at the very last moment, because "our people need you more than me, right now, Clarke", you're gentle, and your mother helps you clean the wound.

Those with the worst conditions are kept in the hospital wing, those who can be discharged are, and soon, you find yourself pulling Lexa on the bed of your mother's room. She needs rest. Her arm is held by a piece of cloth. It's the left one. She's barely holding up, the medication she's taken making her wobbly and weak. She's sitting while you remove her clothes. Her boots first, then her jeans. You find some shorts that belonged to you before you left, and you smile because your mother had kept it. You put it on her. You want to change her top but you're scared to hurt her and she looks so small and tired. Once you've tucked her in, you sit at the end of the bed, and watch her.

"I have something for you, Clarke." Her eyes are closed and her voice is strained with sleep that is coming.

"Yeah, what is it?" You ask, smiling. You're so tired, but you're scared of closing your eyes. You're scared of what you're going to see once they're closed.

"Pocket of my pants." She says, smiling like a little girl. You get up and goes to retrieve it. It's a letter. Your heart thump. When you turn back, she's already sleeping, deep.

You go back to sit next to her on the bed. Unfolding the letter and grabbing her hand, you realize how long the letter actually is. Your heart start to beat louder and louder, pouding against your chest. You start to read.

"Clarke,

Love is a funny thing. All my young life, and long before I was chosen to be Commander, I was taught that love was weakness. To be Commander is to be alone, was Titus' favorite thing to say to me during our lessons. You cannot allow your heart to make the decisions. You must think with strategy, without biased by emotions. How do you do that when it goes against your nature? I couldn't help falling in love with Costia. She was so beautiful, and kind, and tender. She was my best friend. Soon she became my lover. We loved each others so much. But then there was the Conclave, and I was chosen to be Commander, triumphing by death over the other Nightbloods.

I received good training, it's true. I was strong and fierce and fast. But, ultimately, when I think back to it, I realize that it wasn't my abilities that made me win the fight against seven others. I was so scared to leave Costia behind, I had to survive. I had to go back to her, because I couldn't bear the look in her eyes before I went into the battle. So I fought, hard, driven with this desperate need to go take her in my arms again. And I did it. I became Commander. We were discreete because people didn't approve. Well, Titus didn't approve. But war was threatening once again, the Ice Nation was troubling the coalition that was a small one at the time. One night, I waited for Costia until the early hours of the morning, because she used to sneak into my room. But she never came, and all that I found was her head on my bed.

There is no words to describe the kind of feeling that went through my body. Azgeda had taken my love. Used it against me. And I understood what "Love is weakness" meant. I closed up my heart, and started leading fiercely, never allowing my emotions to leave the confines of the walls I had put around me. I formed the coalition, including Azgeda, because it was necessary. It was the first time I didn't honoured Jus drein Jus daun. And it was painful. I avenged the death of countless of strangers. My people, yes, that as you said, I feel for. Why couldn't I avenge the death of my beloved? But I understood. The fate of the Commander is greater and you must look beyond your own pain. Still, it was a pain I never ceased feeling inside, until I launched that spear inside Nia's guts.

But when you came along, it all came crashing down around me. I remembered what it felt like to fall in love again, and you would remind me every chance you got.

The first time I fell in love with you, was when you challenged my decisions, and downright came asking for things. Like I wasn't the almighty Commander. You didn't seem impressed. Frightened. You stood your ground. And it hadn't happened to me in a long time. People are afraid of me, or when they defy me, it's because they despise me, and want to see me dead. Not you though. You considered yourself my equal. A leader to another leader and it felt good. Because suddenly I wasn't alone.

The second time, you killed your first love. I felt immense guilt but I had no choice. And you accepted it. You knew. You came begging but you already knew it was over, and you didn't hesitate to carry the guilt, and his blood on your hands so you could spare him the pain. You didn't hesitate to sacrifice your pain over his. That was the strongest I had seen you.

But you kept on surprising me. I was helpless, descending in the depth of love. You kept banging on my walls and they weren't putting that much of a fight. You saved my life from the Pauna. You could have left me to die. But you didn't.

There were several times after that, where I all I could do was stand back helplessly while you stole my resolve. You, sparing the lives of my people, trying to see the good everywhere. Calling me out on my mistakes. Provocating me, not accepting my decisions.

But then, I had to leave you. I was scared I would never see you again. It was painful, because once again, I had to choose duty over love, when really, I wanted to choose you. I had faith though. I knew you could come through. I knew you were powerful and strong enough. You made a name for yourself and I only loved you more but I was hopeless.

When I saw what I had made of you, I couldn't bear it. It broke you. It was my fault that you were bitter, and hurt and hateful. I took it. When you pressed your knife against my throat, I loved you all over again. I was yours to kill and I would have let you do it a thousand times because I deserved a thousand deaths for the pain I had caused you. "

You stop reading for a moment. You're overwhelmed. And crying. You're inside her head, now. She's letting you see all. She's telling you all. She's giving herself fully and without barrier. It's powerful and painful at the same time.

"Kneeling before you and swearing fealty was more than an apology. It was a promise of faithfulness, and a proof of my love. I did it willingly and you deserved that I show you once and for all where my true allegiances lied.

It was the quiet and the domesticness of the moments we shared after that, that filled my heart with hope. When you kissed me on ascension day, I thought I might die. Could it be that I was forgiven? Was it something I thought I was worthy of? Could I have possibly redeemed myself for the unceremoniously abandoning you? Will I ever be redeemed? In your eyes maybe, but never in mine. And I will forever be the carrier of the guilt of having created a scar in your heart. It has my name on it.

You gave me a chance nonetheless, you opened the door, and I could never deny you. I was eager to love you. I would have loved you all my life even if you didn't love me back. I could have lived with you hating me, and I would only have loved you for it. I denied myself of feeling for so long, and I am not willing to do that anymore.

So, maybe now, we don't have to take impossible decisions apart that hurt each others, but rather, take them together for the greater good, rule over our people as they come as one. Maybe today is someday. Maybe what we owe to our people, is not to be miserable apart, but to be united and lead them to a better future.

Wait for me, my love, for I am coming for you. I cannot stand to be apart from you for another day.

Yours eternally.

Leksa."

You feel lightheaded. You feel spent, tired, relieved. But mostly, you feel happy. It finally feels like this is coming to an end. Like another chapter of your life can begin, and you get to go into it holding Lexa's hand.

Somewhere between lines, you found yourself lying down, your head on Lexa's stomach, and sleep comes far too easily, because now you know you will only dream of green eyes surrounded by war paint and shy smiles.

When you wake up again, it's the sound of the door that wakes you. Someone is there, but you feel too tired to move from Lexa, who is now lightly brushing her fingers in your hair. It would feel perfect if it wasn't for the heavy losses of war.

She's awake too, but you feel far too numb to move. Breathing still deep, eyes still closed, you don't let it show that you're not sleeping anymore. Because someone else is in the room with you, and you know it must be your mom, because who else? But you don't know how to face her, not when she's seen you sleeping on top of the half naked Commander. She's covered, but still.

"Did you want to rest, Abby?"

"No, don't worry, I have to go back to the hospital, I just wanted to check on her.. On both of you."

"She's sleeping, has been for a while. I let her rest. She needs it."

"What about you, how's your shoulder?"

"I've had worse. The medicine helps greatly, thank you."

"You're very welcome, Commander." The conversation pauses for a moment before you hear Lexa talk softly.

"Please, call me Lexa. There is no need for formalities here."

She doesn't respond but she's your mother, you can practically hear the smile she's giving Lexa. No one speaks for a moment, and you think that Abby will just go back. Instead you hear her take a seat on the chair at the foot of the bed, and put a hand on your ankle.

"I hope-"

"You seem-"

They both start. You want to laugh, but you don't have enough energy for that.

"I'm sorry, go first." It's your mom. There's a pause, a hesitation.

"I hope you won't see any objections to my newly found relationship with Clarke, and I also hope you can find it you to trust me with your daughter's life again." Your heart triples volume at this. You want to kiss this woman until she can't breathe.

"You saved her life and took a bullet for her, Lexa, I think we've covered the trusting-you-to-protect-her part."

"Still, I would like for you to give us your blessing." Can she be anymore perfect?

"I thought there was no need for formalities here?"

"It's not formality, it's respect."

"Clarke will not wait for my blessing, in fact I don't think she cares much about it." Oh if only she knew.

"But I do." Your mother sigh at this. There's seconds that pass. You feel Lexa's heart beats faster.. Is she afraid of what my mother will say?

"You know, I've done some terrible things in the past and I'm not the one she needs blessing from. Her father is. I have too much to be forgiven for."

"Clarke is big on forgiveness, that much I've learned."

"That she is, but I'm not when it comes to myself."

"Yes, I know the feeling."

"How come we are the two people she loves the most and we're the ones that made her suffer the greatest?" You want to tell her so much you love her, and all that is in the past can stay there forever, you just need your mother, but the words die in your throat. You just finally open your eyes, and she's the first thing you see. She doesn't react, just keep looking at you with sorrow. You're facing away from Lexa so she doesn't see that you're awake. You don't want to tell her yet.

Tears are falling down your face and you try to say with them all you can't say out loud, praying that your mother understand the extend of your love for her and Lexa. You wonder when you are going to stop crying so much.

"That is a question I have yet to answer. Unfortunately I fear that I never will." You mom looks up at Lexa now. "What did you want to say earlier?" Back to you, eyes softer than ever.

"You seem to care about her, a lot."

"I love her more than my own life."

"Yes, I know the feeling." She mimicks, and smile. Enough seems to be said. "I'll leave you to rest a bit more. Tell her that we took care of the bodies. Marcus is taking them to the dropship now. Those of the grounders too. Indra suggested that we burn them in tradition with Pike's body but the decision is yours to take."

"Yes, let's to that tonight. Thank you, Abby, you didn't have to do all this."

"Yes I did, your people are our own. And you're family now." She gets up, and start to put on her jacket.

"Does that mean I have your blessing regardless?" You hear the smile on her lips. It's soft, so her. No more than a light twitch of her lips at one corner, you're sure. Your mother laugh at that, and looks at you.

"Yes, it does, Lexa." You mouth a Thank you, to clearly show that it is as important as the one dad would have given you.

"Thank you, Abby." After that she's gone. You wait a few minutes before lifting your head and look at her.

"Oh, you're awake." She says, with a small smile, nervous and shy. Why, don't you live for the days where you make the Commander look bashful.

"Yes, in fact I have been for quite a while." You smile back. You go to kiss her, marveling at the fact that you can. Without restraint, without fear. Nothing more is hovering over your heads. Her lips feel like a hundred painkiller for heartaches.

"Intruding on other's people conversations is rude, Clarke." The tone is a bit playful though, so you play along.

"Well, I heard some very interesting things so I say it was very much worth it." She laughs, then. A carefree, liberating laugh that sounds like music to your ears. You file it in your memory. "I didn't think Heda had it in her to beg for my mother's blessing." You tease some more.

"Love, in a room with only your mother and us, I am not Heda. I am Lexa, who is asking without pretention the permission to love her daughter with all my might."

"Well, you don't need her blessing to love me like that."

"No I don't, but now I can do it with peace of mind." You kiss her again. You kiss her hard and soft at the same time. It feels surreal, and good, and pure. You think about the fact that you'll be able to do it as many times as you like from now on. It makes you giddy.

"You should probably rest some more, I'm going to go with Kane to say goodbye."

"Would like me to come with?"

"No it's okay, I need to go on my own. You just stay here and rest."

"But I don't want you to leave my side.." Damn, woman. Between smiling and crying that much, one would think you have bipolarity problems.

"I'll only be a couple hours. I'll come back to you." You say kissing her, while getting up from the bed. "I'll always come back to you."

"I hope so." Pulling your boots, you kiss her one last time, and go out the door before you can decide to climb back in bed with that goddess of a woman.

You hurry to the gates of Arkadia where a car is preparing to leave. Running up to it, you see Kane.

"I want to come with you."He only smiles at you, and open the back doors, where a makeshift box is carrying Jasper's body. Sitting behind the wheel is Raven. Kane takes the seat next to her, and in the back, next to the box, is Octavia.

"Another car is following with Miller, Monty and Bellamy." She smiles. You climb in, and the car starts. It's an hour trip. Your silent for the first minutes.

"What will happen to Bellamy, now that it's over?" You ask in the silence.

"Like the others that took part in the slaughter of the grounder army, he'll go through trial. But he might be shown mercy due to the fact that he rallied forces with us in the last battle. He might still face emprisonement though." Kane respond. You feel the pain in his words. You understand. He too has to face the consequences of his act, after all, he did start all of this.

"How are you holding up?" You ask Octavia.

"He's my brother, and I'll love him forever. I'll forgive him eventually, I think. But I don't think I can trust him again."

"Yeah, I get it."

A heavy silence falls upon all of you. You're halfway to the dropship by now.

"So Clarke, you're banging the Commander, huh?"

Your eyes go wide and you choke a little, while Octavia roars with laughter.

"Never thought someone could tear down these walls." She adds with a dry tone.

"Well, they were pretty easy to get around, so." You reply, and the banter distract you from the box with your dead friend in it.

"Oh really? And what's she like when she's not Heda?"

"Wouldn't be fun if I told you, would it?" You say smiling.

"Oh come on. Is she a top or a bottom? My guess is.. Shit, I can't actually guess, you'll have to help me out here Griffin."

"I'm not talking about this anymore." This conversation is not appropriate with Kane in the very same area.

"I bet that's because you don't want to say you're a pillow queen." You're mortified that they would say things like this in front of Marcus Kane, who you suspected greatly of having an secret affair with your mother.

"Guys, stop it."

"Yes, girls, that's quite enough." Thank god for this man.

"Fine, Dad."

"You can tease her later, when I'm not here to witness it."

"I'm sorry?!" But you laugh along with them because when was the last time you actually felt like you could joke around with friends? It felt right and necessary. "We are not talking about Lexa anymore."

When the laughing subsides, though, you realize that you're already there. Silence gains you once more, and others than small words, nothing is said and you all start digging. You try not to look at Wells' grave. Once the hole is big enough, the boys grab the coffin and lower it carefully, and everyone puts the dirt back on top of it. Each one of you except Kane keeps some of it in one of your hand.

And when, one by one, you let the dirt fall on top of the mount, you hear Kane speak.

"In peace, may you live the shore. In love, may you find the next. Safe passage on your travels, until our final journey on the ground. May we meet again."

"May we meet again." Everyone repeats after that. And its so solemn, and official. You kneel down, touch softly the ground beneath which he is lying, and whispers apologies. I'm sorry I failed you. The comforting hand of Kane do little to soothe the ache in your throat.

It is too painful to stay here, so people quickly gather back to the cars. You stay a little bit though, standing on your feet again, and watching over Wells' grave.

"I miss you" You say to the emptiness.

"It'll get better." It's Raven. She stands next to you, supportive. Grieving just the same.

"How's your arm?"

"Oh you know, nothing compared to having a bullet in your spine." You smile sadly.

"I know you don't approve of Lexa." Well, that's that.

"I have no business telling you who you can be with, Clarke."

"No, but it doesn't change the fact that you don't like her." She frowns then. A look away.

"Look, I don't carry her in my heart that's true. But she's proven herself. I don't think I trust her, but I see that you look happy. And you more than anyone deserve it."

"What about you? You deserve it too, maybe more than me." And she does, so much. What she didn't deserve was all she had to go through.

"I'll get there. Plus, now that we're really joining the coalition, I guess I can meet someone who could make me forget." She smiles.

"Forget about what? Finn?" Saying his name makes you cringe. Her too.

"Pain."

"We got our share of that, didn't we?"

"But we made it." She hugs then. You missed her. "We did. Thank you." You whisper in her hear and stay that way for a while.

"Girls, time to go!" Kane calls after you. And you pull back.

"Come on, let's go. Besides, I don't want the mighty Heda to cut off my head because I touched you for too long."

This makes you laugh. Hard. You're still laughing on the way back, a tear slipping at the corner of your eyes when you look back through the window at the dropship, the graves, the memories of your friends that died because you failed to protect them.

No one talks on the ride back. Minds are busy and tired, and Octavia's head on your shoulder is the only thing that is reminding you of where you are for you're so deep in thoughts you might have forgotten otherwise.

When you arrive at Arkadia, you see Lexa, dressed, busying herself with organizing what was retrieved from the ashes of the blockade.

"Aren't you supposed to be in bed resting?" She turns around and smiles, seeing you. God, she's so beautiful.

"My help is required here, Clarke, I will not lie around in bed all day. Besides, it is not that bad." She tells you while you walk to her. "And, look what I found." She pulls a small metallic box, and when it opens, there's two letters inside of it. They're untouched. "Fortunately, the fire did little damage to your tent, and we've actually been able to retrieve quite a lot. It wasn't as bad as we anticipated. I'm glad these survived though."

"I am too." You smile. "I forgot to tell you, I rather enjoyed that last one though. I've got to say, it topped all the others."

There's that bashful look again. It does funny things to your body.

"What did I do to deserve this? I don't know how to thank you." You say, clearly adding some innuendos.

"Well, I've got a few ideas. Maybe I'll tell you about them in another letter." Lexa's flirting was on point, that much was certain.

"I'm impatient, now, how long will I have to wait?" You say, coming a little bit closer. People are starting to look at you weirdly. She grabs your arm and leaned in to whisper in your hear while keeping your bodies apart.

"I guess that depends on you, now, doesn't it?" And with that, she's turning around and walking away, a straight and serious face. Jesus christ. If things didn't need to be done, you would have pulled her in a corner right now.

Unfortunately, things do need to be done, and before long, the ceremony in memory of the fallen grounders begins. You stand in the front with Lexa, much like the first time you attended such a thing. Only this time, you hold her hand discreetly. And, later tonight, when Abby leaves you her room to go sleep in Kane's, there is no energy left for anything more than sleeping. You hold her, she holds you, and if sleeping with her feels this right, you can't wait to spend the rest of your nights like this. Lazily kissing each others into slumber, waking up pressed hard against her back, laying gentle kisses on her injured shoulder, and the back of her neck.

The next day, three cars are ready to take you back to Polis, with several horses. Abby and Kane are coming too, since the ceremony for the Arkers to join back the coalition has to be held again. Octavia and Lincoln will stay in Arkadia for a while, but you have no doubt that you'll see them more often than not. You hug Raven hard, and squeeze her extra hard when she whispers "Don't be a stranger, Griffin." in your hear. You don't say goodbye to Bellamy, you can't. You're not ready to face him yet, and he understands. He watches you go from the distance, probably enjoying the last of his freedom before a long time. You hug everyone, Monty, Miller, Harper, and many more. You'll come back soon, you promise. At least once a week. Raven will come and get you with the car. It'll be much faster.

Once on the way, you spend the whole trip watching Lexa, throwing her gentle looks, sometimes filled with heat, sometimes with love, sometimes both. And, she tries to keep her composure in the crowded car.

At one point, you lean in her ear and whisper "You know what I can't wait for?" When she shakes her head you continue. "For you to put on that nightgown again, with the slit on the side? You know, the one you wore when you came to my room at night." You see her swallow. Man, she's far too easy, and you're enjoying the hell out of it. "It's a shame we didn't get to put it to good use the first time. Not that I didn't want to.."

She clears her throat and tries to shimmy away from you, much to her dismay: there wasn't a lot of room. "You think I didn't know you put it just for me? God, I was ready to tear it off of you." She chokes then, and you pulls back.

"Oh, are you okay Commander? Do you need some water? I hope you didn't catch something." You say, totally sounding really concerned.

You reach for the water cantine in your package and hands it to her. When she's done drinking, she looks at you, flushed, eyes black that look like they can't decide if they want to be threatening or aroused.

"No, I'm okay. Wrong pipe, I suppose."

You laugh internally, oh you are going to have so much fun. "Alright, then."

You tease her for the rest of the trip, purposefully taking your jacket off while exposing your cleavage, brushing it accidentally against her. Breathing a little too hard, licking your lips a little too long. Throwing your head back, and touching the muscles of your shoulders. When she exits the vehicule, she looks about ready to explode. Jaw set, the veins in her neck about to pop, eyes wide, flushed cheeks. You're quite proud of herself, that promise for good times later.

The ceremony is held right away, taking just the time to change outfit and call upon the learders of the other clans. It goes uneventful, and when it's over, the sun is starting to set. You go to change separately, before saying goodnight to your mom and Kane. Once you feel like you have nothing left to do, you rejoin Lexa in the meeting room. Two guards are there, but they pay you no mind. She's on the balcony, looking over the sunset. She's in the same outfit she was when you said goodbye no later than three days ago, her hair unbraided, much like last time.

"It's over, isn't it? Is this the part when I say that today is someday?" You ask softly, enjoying the peace and quiet.

"What do you want moving forward?" Of course she asks what you want, and because that's who she is, putting your wants and needs before her own.

"You. I want you." A laugh, magnificent and magic.

"I am already yours."

"Then I want peace."

"I believe we achieved that as well."

"Then there is nothing more I want right now."

You look at each other, and the realization only adds more to her beauty.

"Could you look anymore beautiful? My heart can't take it." She looks straight ahead.

"Don't pretend your heart is the only part of your body that can't handle it, Clarke."

Your mouth drop open, and there's a devilish smirk on her lips. It's payback time, it seems.

"Did you-Did.. Hum."

"Are you alright, love? You usually know how to use your words so well." Pointed look. This smirk. This smirk. Oh god.

"Speaking of words, it reminds me that I have something for you."

Your close your mouth, lick your lips, and you feel yourself heat up. She is playing you so well, you love it. You take numbly the folded paper that she hands you. Oh but she's far from done.

"Well, it's a bit cold out here. I'm going to bed. I'll wait for you in our bedroom. I may or may not be wearing my nightgown when you come back. Don't be too long."

And with that, she turns and leave.

"Come with me," she says to the two guards. "Let's give Wanheda a moment, she's looks like she needs it."

You're speechless. And aroused. And torn. Do you read the letter first or do you follow her and take her against a wall right away? But you think with a light heart that you have all night, and there is no rush anymore.

So you take a sit on her throne -it's not like anyone can see you, you can enjoy it a bit, right?- and start to read.

"Love,

I can't wait to touch again. It feels like it's been far too long when it has only been merely hours. But your body is intoxicating. I yearn to feel your skin against mine, slowly glowing. I can't wait to undress you, revealing each part of your body I want to touch. I want to feel you against my fingers again, soaked and ready for me. Waiting. Desperate. I want to indulge you. Touch you slowly, so very slowly. Make you desperate with want, for more. With the need of feeling me harder. I'll be so gentle, but so accurate, it'll drive you crazy. I want you to scream, beg, when I won't even be inside you yet. I want you to ask for it. To ask for more. Your legs squeezing me in a failed attempt to get me closer. Because I'll already be so close, yet so far. I want your hands tied. I want you to be helpless. Always begging me. And when I'll finally enter you, reveling in the feeling of being inside of you once again, you'll start asking for more yet again. Until I can't take it anymore and start to fuck you like you deserve. I want to give it all, because you teasing me makes me desperate for your body. It makes me desperate for your moans, for the feeling of your legs around my head, squeezing so deliciously, while I taste you. I'm desperate for the feelings of your thighs clenching together, your mouth opened so I can slip my tongue inside. I am desperate for you. So hurry, love, come join me for tonight is the first of many where I get to explore your body without any restraint.

I can't wait to love on you.

I can't wait to make you mine and become yours forever.

Leksa."

Holy Commander, you're out of the throne and down the corridor in less time it takes to say "Fuck". If you knew Lexa had such skills in English language, you'd have started to write sooner. You wonder while you walk – fast, may you add- what kind of book she reads on her down time to know that much of dirty talking. You decide that you won't complain about it. She did promise you a dirty letter, and it's time to thank her properly. Yes, you think, while you close the door of the bedroom -and lock it- seeing her sitting on the couch, waiting for you in her nightgown, you really couldn't want anything more.