Chinchilla
Thursday…
Poe hands the small package to Rey. “Hide this from me.”
“What is it?” She asks. “Is this a sex toy? A new butt plug for your anniversary? How sweet,” she smiles.
“It’s my father’s wedding ring,” Poe says, settling on Rey’s couch. “I had my mom rush ship it when she got home.”
“Why?” She sets the package on her table and comes to the couch, settling against him and curling up on his side.
“Because I was going to propose to Finn tomorrow night.”
“WHAT THE FUCK!” She sits up, smiling. “Oh my gosh, I am so happy for…wait…was?”
He takes a long deep breath and closes his eyes. “It’s too soon.”
“Bull fucking shit, Poe,” she slaps his chest a little too hard and settles back into the cuddling. “You love him so much it’s gross. And he loves you. I mean, I didn’t know him before but…I’d like to think I can just tell. Thirty years from now I’m going to be going to your kid’s college graduation. Or whatever. I mean, seriously, just do it. I mean, I have an ad for Finn’s apartment ready to go any day now.”
“Why his place?”
“Because I figured he’d move in with you, your unit has better lighting.”
“True.”
“Well, I’m not supposed to say anything just yet, but my dad bought the duplex next door.”
Poe rubs his hand on Rey’s back, feeling soothed by it. He left work early today so he could talk to her, besides he couldn’t focus on work anyway. “I can’t afford to rent a unit in a duplex.”
“Oh you totally can. Dad got the place for a steal. I could talk him into a decent rate. I’ve been in it, it’s actually in great shape. I mean it’s worth a shot. He’s coming into town next week to sign the last of the papers and I’ll have the two of you over for dinner.”
“Okay, we’ll talk to him about it,” Poe runs his fingers through Rey’s hair in a comforting gesture. She feels so much like the sister he never had and his love for her just grows with each word she says. “But I’m not going to propose to him tomorrow night.”
“I mean, I think you should. But I can understand why you might want to wait. Just let me know and I’ll give you the ring back.”
“Thanks Rey Bae.”
“Can I tell my dad that a boy gave me his father’s ring just to watch him shit?” She giggles.
“Sure.”
~
It’s nearly seven when Poe realizes he hasn’t gotten a text from Finn that he’s home. Worried, he leaves Rey and goes to his apartment, finding Finn isn’t there. They exchanged keys months ago so it wouldn’t be a surprise to find him there, particularly if he was planning on surprising him by being naked and hard on his bed, just waiting. Poe calls Finn’s phone but it goes straight to voicemail. Panic setting in, Poe grabs his keys and goes across the hall, nearly bumping into Kylo and Hux.
“Would you tell your boyfriend to keep it down?” Kylo scoffs.
“What?” Poe says.
“He’s been yelling for like, an hour,” Hux interjects, holding Kylo’s hand. “It’s totally harshing my high right now.”
“We thought you two were fighting,” Kylo says. “Anyway.”
Poe doesn’t wait for them to leave before letting himself into Finn’s place. Finn is sitting on the floor in his kitchen, back against the cupboards, phone to his ear. Explains why he didn’t answer. His face is actually red from anger and streaked with tears. Poe goes to sit down next to him when Finn puts his hand up. Poe stops in his tracks, debating on whether or not he should leave.
“Why should I, Phasma?” Finn says into the phone. So he’s talking to his sister. “Why? How could that possibly be a good idea? Yeah, well….no…he doesn’t…whatever….FUCK YOU TOO.” Finn ends the call and throws his iPhone across the room. Poe listens to the glass screen shatter and the flimsy plastic case pop and crack.
“Honey?” Poe asks on a whisper.
Finn looks up at him and just starts to sob. Big huge sobs with lots of ugly gulping and choked cries. Poe sits next to him and pulls him into his lap, right there on the kitchen floor, and cradles him as he cries. He nestles his face into Finn’s hair and just holds him there. He tries so damned hard not to cry for him because he knows he’s got to be strong, but his eyes do get warm and he feels the threat of tears a few times. They are on the floor so long that Poe’s ass goes numb, but it doesn’t matter. Nothing but being here for the love of his life matters.
Maybe half an hour passes before Finn looks up at Poe, face swollen and eyes all red and puffy. “You okay?”
That’s what does Poe in. He starts to cry. “You butthead, stop worrying about me.”
“You’re crying,” Finn reaches up and cups his face.
“Because you are hurting and it kills me to see you like this, that’s all. Sympathy tears,” Poe tries to laugh through it. “You better never get pregnant.”
“I love you, Poe Dameron.” Finn scrambles up for a small kiss.
“I love you, Finn Tuwonatesevin. Wanna talk about it?”
“Can we go to your place? It has better lighting. And your bed is softer. And you have more furniture. And your bed smells like you more than mine does.”
~
Once they are all curled up together, stripped of work clothes and wearing Poe’s pajamas and warm under Poe’s blanket, Finn starts to talk.
“I got a voicemail from my mother while I was at work to call her immediately. I decided to come back here and call her because I haven’t spoken to her in a long time and I was pretty sure yelling would happen. Sure enough, she calls to tell me that dad is sick. Cancer, stage two, and that I should come home and beg forgiveness. For his sake. My dad is the one who kicked me out when he found out I’m gay. My mom, she just did whatever he said. My dad fucking hates me, I think my mom is just worried about being kicked out of the Watchtower and the shame of her Hall.”
“Hall? Kingdom Hall?” Poe has done some research on JW’s over the past six months, but Finn’s life is so divorced from it that they never talk much about how he was raised. Other than his parents being really strict about outside influences, he remembers his early childhood being spent volunteering with the Hall members and going to a lot of Bible studies. He did once say that until he realized he was gay, he probably would have stayed a Witness because as a kid, everyone was always so happy and caring and giving.
“Yeah. Anyway, you know they don’t celebrate any holidays or anything, but my mom insists on having a big meal on Thanksgiving weekend anyway as an excuse to bring the family together. I haven’t gone the last four years on account of telling them I was gay. I haven’t seen them in four years. So I said that I wasn’t going to come home unless they can accept me for who I am. Mom said it was my job to apologize to my father and show him the error of my ways or whatever. I hung up on her and then I called Phasma.”
“What did she have to say about all this?”
“Well, she thinks I should go home, ask Rey to go with me and pretend to be my girlfriend. For dad.” Finn rolls over onto his back. “You know, for a few minutes I actually considered it. I mean, I do miss my mom. And I could see some of my other relatives again.”
“You know I will support whatever you chose to do,” Poe reassures, rubbing circles over Finn’s chest. “I am not, nor will I ever be, insulted or hurt if you chose to take Rey home in my stead. I swear it”
“I mean, I’m seriously considering taking Rey.” Finn rests his hand over Poe’s and stills it, right over his heart. “I love you. But I miss my mom. And I even miss my dad. I still love him even if he doesn’t love me. I just…I dunno.”
“It’s only a few weeks away,” Poe says, just trying to grasp at understanding how sad and hurt he is over this and failing. “If your dad really is sick, this might be your last chance to see him. Maybe it would be worth it? I’ll be right here when you come home, I’m not going anywhere.”
“I don’t deserve you.”
Poe has this flash of an idea and he really tries to suppress it but before he can he’s already sent a text and gotten out of bed. “Hold on just a sec, okay?”
By the time he gets to the front door of his apartment Rey is at the top of the stairs. She sees him standing in his doorway, hands him the package and disappears from whence she came. This is so not how he planned this to happen. This isn’t the romantic proposal complete with the Star Wars theme playing and twinkle lights around the living room and him in a damned tuxedo on his knee looking up and asking the most important question he’ll ever ask but it’ll have to do because this needs to happen right fucking now. That man in his room needs to know how much he’s loved and cherished and that there is at least one person who would literally do anything for him. Sure, he’s expecting it to get thrown in his face, but he can’t think of any other way right now to show Finn just how important he is. He palms the ring, takes three deep breaths and tries not to puke.
When he enters his room, he sees Finn sitting up, back against the headboard, staring at his broken cell phone. He looks up at Poe. “It’s Phasma. It rings but the screen is so jacked I can’t answer it.”
“We’ll get you a new one tomorrow,” Poe climbs into bed next to him, nuzzling close and kissing Finn’s neck. “Maybe I can talk you into a S7.”
“Maybe,” he snickers, setting the broken brick on the nightstand. “You know, I’m going to regret not seeing them, especially my dad. I’m going to ask Rey on Sunday during breakfast, if that’s okay.”
Poe feels the warm metal in his palm and bites his lip. “Finn…”
“I really shouldn’t do this to you but…”
“Chinchilla,” Poe says, smirking just a little.
He looks at Poe with the most surprised look he can muster with his cry-puffy face. “Did you just safeword a conversation?”
“Shut up and let me say this before I chicken out.” Poe swallows. “I love you so much that I can’t even put it into words. I just…you don’t deserve me. You deserve so much more. You are so important, Finn. So damned important. I saw you in that kitchen and my heart broke because you were hurt. I wish your parents knew what an amazing person you are and how deserving you are of their love and trust and acceptance and it destroys me that you ever have to feel, even if for a moment, that you aren’t. So…” Poe laughs nervously. “I don’t even really know what else to say.”
He holds out his palm and shows Finn the ring.
Finn stares at it like it’s going to jump up and bite him.
Poe panics.
“This was a bad idea, the worst timing ever. It was my father’s ring and I had my mom ship it earlier this week because I just saw you this weekend with her and that stupid dog and I was going to just ask you to move in together for our anniversary because we basically live together already but I realized I don’t want to waste another second not telling you just how much you mean to me and I really shouldn’t have done this not now not after what happened tonight but I’m an idiot…”
“Chinchilla,” Finn says.
“Fuck, I’m sorry,” Poe closes his hand and pulls it away, but Finn grabs it.
“I just wanted you to get to the good part,” Finn smiles.
“The good part?” Poe smiles, tears falling from his stupid face but he doesn’t care. He opens his palm and presents the ring to Finn. “Will you marry me?”
“Yes.”
Lips crash and Poe drops the ring in the sheets. They fumble around, sliding it onto Finn’s finger and it fits so well. Poe rests his forehead onto Finn’s and laughs from joy. “I can’t believe we both safeworded my proposal.”
“You wouldn’t stop stammering on,” Finn laughed.
“You wouldn’t stop second-guessing yourself,” Poe replies.
“I was going to ask you to move in with me,” Finn sighs. “Well, into your place. Your place feels more like home.”
“You can, any time. Just say the word and I will haul all of your things over here personally.”
“I can’t believe I’m engaged,” Finn parts from Poe, holding up his hand and inspecting the simple silver band. “I feel like a Princess.”
“Does this mean I can buy you sexy lingere?” Poe smiles. “Number 12 on the ‘fucket’ list.”
“That could be arraigned. I think you need a ring,” Finn says. “It feels weird you not having one.”
“I’ll get a wedding ring.”
“True. We can wait until then.”
~
After a night of lazy kisses and cuddles—Finn too stressed from the calls with his family to be in the mood for engagement sex—Poe wakes up with his alarm to find Finn already up. Poe debates on whether or not to call in sick when Finn comes back into the room, sets Poe’s cell on the nightstand and crawls in next to him.
“I just called in sick, I can’t handle leaving the apartment today.” Finn yawns in his ear. “I know it’s our anniversary and I had the best restaurant picked out but I just want to stay here.”
“Of course we can stay in. You sleep okay?” Poe asks, sitting up to grab his phone and do the same—although being the head of his team he can just text his assistant that he’s working from home and be done with it. He puts the phone back and reclaims his cuddle throne next to Finn.
“Honestly, I was up almost all night just thinking,” Finn snuggles in even tighter.
“About moving? The wedding?” Poe smiles to himself. He’s getting fucking married. “I’m in the business, I’ll get the best of everything and probably at cost too. You just tell me what you want and it’s yours. I’ll call NASA and try to figure out how to get the moon if you want it.”
“About my family.”
Poe kisses Finn’s forehead. “I meant every word. I am so okay with you taking Rey…”
“I’m not. I’m taking you. I’m going to take my fiancé to meet my parents and my sister and my stupid cousins and if they slam the door in my face then at least I’ll know. At least I’ll have tried.”
“Finn…I’m really happy that you want to include me but just say the word and I’ll stay home. I’ll get a hotel room and hide there the whole time if you need me to. Fuck, I’d go in drag if that’s what you need.”
“You know what we didn’t do last night?” Finn suggests, clearly done with thinking about his family. “Engagement sex.”
“Well…we did just call in sick.”
“And I may have ordered a few things online last week to give you for tonight,” Finn climbs out of bed. “Wait here.”
Poe bites his lip and watches his boyfriend. His fiancé, leave the room. He can’t believe he did it. He grabs his cell again and texts Rey.
‘he said yes’
‘duh’
‘and he’s taking me to meet his family’
‘fuck really?’
‘I know’
Just then, Finn walks back into the room carrying a riding crop, a set of handcuffs, a red ball gag and a shiny green buttplug. “I thought we could cross off another thing on your ‘fucket’ list.”
“Number 22…” Poe gasps. “Dom!Finn.”
“Now get on your knees.”
Before Poe can comply with his Master, his phone rings with his mother’s ringtone. He answers, wondering why she’s calling at this time of the day.
“I just got a text from Rey that you are engaged?” She says in such a stern tone of voice he nearly drops the phone.
“Yes, I asked him and yes he said yes and now if you don’t mind I have a very important client to get back to. Goodbye mom,” he hangs up and smiles at Finn. “Welp, cat’s out of the bag.”
“Did I say you could answer that?” Finn says, smacking the back of his hand with the crop.
Fuck.