Lexa fumed as Clarke climbed in the passenger seat, careful to hold the tiara to the top of her head.
“Lexa, what’s the problem?”
Lexa couldn’t even look at her girlfriend, of course she didn’t know how her actions had come off back there. So instead she busied herself with smoothing out the sleeves of her suit in an effort to calm down.
One of the things that Lexa loved about Clarke was that she was a social butterfly, it was something that Lexa couldn't be. Sometimes Lexa’s social anxiety got her left in the dark corner at the back of a room and tonight it had all been too much. Watching Bellamy’s hands on Clarke’s waist, the way he pressed his body into hers during their prom royalty dance, the look in his eyes alone – all of it had Lexa’s skin crawling.
“Nothing,” she whispered, putting the car in reverse and backing out of the high school parking lot.
Even in the dark, she could feel Clarke staring daggers into the side of her face.
“That’s bullshit, Woods,” Clarke challenged, looking out at the pavement rushing in front of the car.
“I’m not going to do this tonight, Clarke. I don’t want to ruin your night.”
Clarke scoffed, “Too late. Pull over.”
Lexa gritted her teeth as she slowed to halt on the shoulder.
They sat quietly in the pitch black, save for the glow of the dash on their skin.
When the silence became too much Lexa blurted out, “How do I know this isn’t a phase?”
As the words lingered in the air between them, Lexa knew it was a shitty thing of her to ask. “Us, I mean.”
Clarke stared straight ahead, watching the headlights of an oncoming car on the horizon.
“How dare you, Lexa!” She said, too calmly for Lexa’s liking.
“Well…what do you want from me when you cozy up to your ex-boyfriend on the night of your senior prom?” Lexa spat back.
Clarke’s eyes met Lexa’s, there was too much hurt inside them.
“We won prom court, Lexa,” Clarke defended. “I was just doing what I was supposed to do.”
Clarke’s words weren’t enough to take the memories of a smug Bellamy mouthing the words “You’re a mistake” as he held Clarke tight out of her mind.
“What if you wake up one day and decide to be straight again? What am I supposed to do?” Lexa asked, losing the internal battle to stay quiet.
Clarke closed her eyes and swallowed. She moved grab the handle of the passenger’s door when Lexa grabbed her hand.
She said, I'll walk.
Let go of my hand.
Right now I'm hurt, and you don't understand.
So just be quiet.
And later we will talk.
Just leave, don't worry.
I'll walk.
Lexa drove, tears streaming down her face and her vision blurry. Why couldn’t she control the things that came out of her mouth?
“Fuck!” she yelled, slamming a fist down on the steering wheel. She parked in her driveway and dropped her head into her hands.
Lexa only had a handful of people on this planet that truly loved her and she’d just said the most horrible things to the one who meant the most to her.
*Tap, Tap*
“You’re supposed to be getting laid,” Anya, Lexa’s best friend and guardian, said from the other side of the glass.
Lexa looked up at her, black eye liner running down her cheeks. Anya opened the door and knelt down until she was level with Lexa.
“What happened, Lex?”
Lexa’s face tightened and a new set of tears emerged, “I fucked up, An. Bellamy got in my head and the next thing I know I’m questioning Clarke’s sexuality on the side of the road on prom night.”
Anya wiped Lexa's tears with her thumb and smiled, “You didn’t get the hint that Clarke’s gay from the screaming she does when you guys are in your room, doing ‘homework?”
“I know she is!” Lexa sobbed.
“The walls are very thin, Lexa. I would testify in court that she’s definitely gay.”
Lexa chuckled from Anya’s joke.
When the tears stopped and her chest stopped hurting she confessed, “It’s just an insecurity that I have because I’m the only girl she’s ever been with.”
“I know, Lex. But she’s never given you a reason to question her,” Anya said, pushing Lexa’s hair behind an ear. “Stop letting that Blake kid get in your head, he’s just douche bag.”
Anya’s phone rang and when she answered, her eyes immediate bulged and locked with Lexa’s.
It was a dark night, a black dress.
Driver never saw her, around the bend.
I never will forget the call, or driving to the hospital
when they told me her legs still wouldn't move.
I cried, when I walked into her room.
Lexa sprinted down the hospital wing, saying the same prayer in her head over and over. Please God, let her be okay. When she reached room 311, she took a deep breath and walked through the open door.
Clarke sat in a hospital bed, one black eye but conscious and talking to her dad. She smiled when she saw Lexa.
*SLAP*
Lexa grabbed at the left side of her face.
“MOM!” Clarke shouted.
Abby stood in front of Lexa, fuming. “You were supposed to take care of her! You promised me!?” she screamed as Jake wrapped his wife in his arms and carried her out of the room.
Lexa stood dumbfounded in the doorway. She heard Jake talking to a nurse and then he pulled Lexa out of the room.
“I’m sorry,” she whispered.
Jake’s face softened, “It’s not your fault, Lex. We know that, Abby just needs some time.”
He pulled her into his arms and pressed a kiss to the top of her head, “I need you to be strong for Clarke. They’ve said her legs are not responsive.”
Lexa wiped her cheeks with the back of her hands before entering Clarke’s room again. Clarke opened her eyes, her black eye lifting only a centimeter, and extended her hand out to Lexa.
Lexa took it and hit the tile on her knees, tears welling.
“I’m so terribly sorry, Clarke,” she said between sobs.
Clarke squeezed her hand, “Will you hold me?”
Lexa kicked off her shoes and Clarke scooted over in the bed. Clarke watched as Lexa’s eyes scanned her legs, which had been exposed in the move.
“I’ll walk again, Lexa,” she assured her.
Lexa climbed in and pulled Clarke’s upper body into her embrace. Lexa continued with apologies until Clarke looked at her, that same hurt from the car was back in those blue eyes.
“You don’t have to be strong for me, Clarke,” Lexa whispered, pressing a kiss to her hair. Clarke closed her eyes and let the pain wash over her for the first time since she’d regained consciousness.
I held her hand through everything.
The weeks and months of therapy.
And I held her hand and asked her, to be my bride.
She's dreamed from a little girl, to have her daddy bring her down the aisle.
So from her wheelchair, she looks up to him and smiles.
The next time Lexa wore a suit, it was her wedding day. She stood in front of the people that loved her and Clarke and waited for her beautiful bride.
Her heart had felt so full when she’d first met Clarke, she didn’t think it was possible to love her more than she did at 18. But she did. Lexa had watched Clarke every day in physical therapy for the last six years. The determination in her eyes as she worked to regain mobility was admirable but Clarke never gave up on her goal to walk again, which was inspirational. Lexa knew in heart that one day she would walk.
Until then, Lexa would enjoy every night that she carried Clarke up the stairs to their bed. She would stand by her as she worked toward her goals, pride in her eyes as Clarke reached a milestone. She would hold her around the waist while Clarke’s legs trembled during the bar exercise. She would hold her hand as they travelled down the street of their little neighborhood together.
Lexa felt a reassuring hand on her shoulder and smiled back at Anya and Lincoln. When she looked back, the guests had stood up and Clarke and Jake were stopped at the top of the aisle.
And says, I'll walk.
Please hold my hand.
I know that this will hurt, I know you understand.
Please daddy don't cry.
This is already hard.
Let's go, don't worry.
I'll walk.
She’d been lying to her future wife for a year now. When Lexa thought Clarke, Raven and Octavia were taking a water fitness class, Clarke was secretly training more with her physical therapist. She stayed strong during her daytime therapy session when Lexa was there, but it was in the second workout when she’d push herself to the brink. Her physical therapist would reassure her that it could take many years to gain mobility and Clarke would say that wasn’t good enough. She’d push and push her legs to remember how to walk, the vision of Lexa’s face always in the back of her mind.
It was the one thing she desperately needed to give Lexa. Her precious, gorgeous Lexa hadn’t stopped apologizing for six years that she’d let her walk away after prom. Her Lexa had given up the last six years of her life to accommodate Clarke’s surgeries and physical therapy sessions. She needed to prove to her that the night six ago didn’t ruin their lives.
Clarke locked the wheels on her chair and pushed the foot pedals out of the way. She could hear nothing but her own breathing as she reached down and placed her feet on the ground. With a little shakiness, she pulled herself up and grabbed onto her dad’s arm.
“You sure?” he whispered, tears forming in his eyes.
She nodded, “If I fall, promise me you’ll catch me?”
Jake nodded. Raven handed Clarke her bouquet and looked down the path ahead of them. The look on Lexa’s face alone was worth the year of work.
Clarke took her first step and watched as all her loved ones began to tear up. Halfway down the aisle she worked up the courage to look at Lexa. She had one hand in Anya’s and one hand wiping away her tears. They held each other’s gaze as Clarke continued her journey down the aisle, stopping a couple steps away from Lexa. She kissed her dad on the cheek and he stepped away from her.
She took one, two, three steps into Lexa’s arms and into their new beginning.