Keep Me In Your Memory

Chapter 11- Talking About Feelings

By the time Halloween arrived, Harry found himself as practically as a zombie, just letting his body flow with the motions. No matter what Harry did, the nightmares didn't go away, not even talking about them helped. It only seemed to make it worse. Harry sighed as his body slumped against the wall and let his eyes tiredly watch the other students. It took him five minutes before he realized that one of the other students had stopped in front of him and had been talking to him. Harry blinked at the student in front of him.

"Huh?" Harry asked the girl.

"I asked if you had gotten any more sleep, but with that blank stare and answer I can safely assume you haven't." Myari said looking at Harry with worried eyes.

"Oh, yeah, no." Harry muttered tiredly his exhausted body swaying to the point that he would have fallen over had Myari not caught him. Myari sighed before throwing his arm over her shoulder and began to lead him down the hall. "Where we going?"

"The snake pit. You need to talk to someone about your nightmares." Myari said.

"But we tried that, it only made the nightmare worse." Harry whined as he let Myari all but drag him down the hall.

"I know, I sent my grandmama an owl, she said that we need to figure out what is truly bothering you. It's obviously not the dreams themselves that is bothering you, so we are going to get Luna and we are going to hide in the snake pit and talk about this. Because you can't go on like this."

"Kitten?" A voice called out to them causing Myari to stop and look at the owner of the voice, Draco. "What did you do to him? Where are you taking him?" He asked as he switched between glaring at Myari and letting his eyes check Harry for any injuries.

"I didn't do anything to him. I found him like this and I'm taking him to the snake pit." Myari said glaring at Draco as she shifted Harry's weight that he, in his exhausted state, was putting all on her.

"Why the snake pit?" Draco asked as he pulled Harry from her and picked his up bridal-style.

"Because I don't know the answer the the riddle asked at the doorway to the Ravenclaw tower. And Luna is in the Forbidden Forest. I planned on dropping Harry off then go get her to help me help Harry." Myari said rubbing her shoulder.

"Why would you need Looney Lovegood?" Draco asked as he started down a secret tunnel towards the snake pit.

"Don't call her that!" Myari growled stomping after him.

"I'll call her whatever I want." Draco said. "Now answer my question."

"Well, ass wipe, the reason I need Luna is because she's good at figuring out the meaning of dreams and nightmares." Myari said and Draco stopped walking.

"What did you call me?" Draco ask slowly turning to glare at her.

"Whatever I want to." Myari slowly said while smirking. Harry, who was too tired to stop them, giggled almost madly.

"You two make such good friends." Harry giggled out before his eyes rolled into the back of his head and he passed out.

~Keep Me In Your Memory~

Harry woke gasping for air as he had become accustomed to and shot up from where he was lying. When he began gagging he felt a hand rub his back and a bucket was placed under him just as the first wave of sick came up. And as Harry emptied his stomach his ears picked up the soft, soothing hum that he now associated with Luna. Once he was done being sick, he groaned and went to lean his head on Luna's shoulder but was shocked when she moved, he opened his eyes to see her and Draco trading spots.

"Do you do this every morning?" Draco asked Harry when he snuggled into him.

"Do what? Get sick, or snuggled with someone?" Harry asked snuggling even more when Draco began to run his fingers through his hair.

"Wake up gasping and getting sick." Myari asked alerting Harry that she was there as well. Harry glanced over at her to see her sitting with Luna leaning her head on her shoulder.

"I'm usually alone. The only time I am leaning on someone is with Luna during breakfast." Harry said content to just sit there with his friends and just relax.

"So Harry," Myari started in a tone that told Harry that she wanted to talk about something with him, and even though he was exhausted he knew exactly what the topic she had in mind was.

"No." Harry said shifting to pull his knees closer to him while still staying snuggled up to Draco, he hadn't been able to do this in a while because of their busy schedules and the fact that Harry has been more zombie than anything.

"Don't be like that, we need to talk about this." Myari said and Harry buried his head in Draco's chest.

"Why, it didn't help last time, what makes you think it will work this time?" Harry asked shifting closer to Draco, silently begging with his body for Draco to protect him, from what, he didn't want to name.

"Only because we focused on what you saw in your dreams, not what you felt." Myari said causing Harry to freeze before he shot up from Draco's side shocking both Draco and Myari.

"I'm leaving." Harry growled before he turned and left, he had almost made it to the door when his arm was grabbed and he was spun around to be faced with an angry Luna. Harry flinched when Luna's pointer finger was suddenly in his face.

"Fear should never be in control." She told him angrily.

"I'm not-" Harry started only to cut himself off at Luna's accusing look, he glanced away from the girl with a sigh causing her to smile and begin to pull him back towards the couch where Draco had stood up and seemed to be barely holding himself back from doing whatever it was he wanted to do. Harry let himself be handed off to Draco who practically pulled him into his lap when they sat back on the couch. "Where do you want to begin." Harry asked.

"Well for starters, what was the nightmare about this time?" Myari asked.

"The same as always." Harry mutter picking at his pants.

"Were the same people in it?" Myari asked and Harry bit his lip and hid his face in Draco's shoulder. "Harry, were the same people in it?" She asked again after a few minutes of silence.

"Is this really necessary, can't you see he doesn't want to talk about this!" Draco snapped at her.

"Well, if you want Harry to continue not being able to sleep because he is having nightmares, then no I do not think it is necessary. But if you want to Harry's nightmares to stop, then yes, this is necessary." Myari snapped right back causing Draco to look like he had a bad taste in his mouth. "That's what I thought. Harry were the-"

"My brother and I were there, but I don't know if the other two people were the same since I can't remember who they were." Harry interrupted.

"Thank you, in my Grandmama's letter, she told me to go through the dream piece by piece, so tell me the beginning and how you felt." Myari said and waited for Harry to begin.

"Me and Haiden are walking, well he's walking I'm limping, in this large dungeon. And the further we walk in, the more foreboding I am feeling." Harry said softly.

"Foreboding? Why? Is it foreboding because you know what is about to happen? Or is it foreboding in another way?" Myari asked.

"I don't know." Harry said.

"Harry." Myari said almost reprimanding.

"No, I honestly don't know. It might be because I know what is about to happen or maybe it could just be foreboding. Or it could be a little of both." Harry said refusing to look at Myari. After a minute of thoughtful silence, Myari continued.

"What happened after that?" Myari asked.

"Wait, I thought we're supposed to talk about his feelings, why are you going on without talking about his feelings?" Draco asked.

"And we will, when we get to the ones that are actually bothering him. The ones that will be almost impossible to drag out of him. And Draco, when we get to those feelings I am going to have to ask you to fight against any urges that you will have to protect Harry. This is something Harry will need to do by himself." Myari said Draco tightened his arms around Harry as he looked to be battling himself.

"I understand, I don't like it, but I will try." Draco said angrily.

"Alright, what happened next in the dream?" Myari asked Harry who sighed.

"The scene changes and Haiden is standing in front of and glaring at the whoever is standing by a huge statue of a face, and I'm still standing at the opening of the room. And at this point I'm feeling very confused over the strange conversation between the person and Haiden." Harry said with a sigh ignoring the looks being sent between Myari and Draco. "Don't ask me what the conversation was word for word because I don't remember, but I do remember the gist of it: The person is bad, like Voldemort level bad, and Haiden is praising Professor Dumbledore. After Haiden said something about loyalty or something a phoenix flies in and gives Haiden the sorting hat and then leaves."

"Why did it being the sorting hat?" Draco asked.

"That will be explained later in the dream." Harry said before taking a deep breath. "So, after a few taunting words to Haiden, the person turns to the statue and orders a Bas- er, a large snake to come to it. As the Bas-er the large snake begins to head towards Haiden, I limp as fast as I can to him, I grabbed his arm, spinning him towards the opening of the room and tell him to run as the person tells the Bas-er the large snake to ignore me. Haiden trips over his own feet and the Bas- er the large snake is about to kill Haiden, the phoenix comes back and pecks the Bas- er the large snake's eyes out."

"Yeah, I'm gonna stop you right here, Harry." Myari said with a sigh. "Stop saying 'Large snake' we all know what it is, just call it by it's name."

"The Basilisk." Harry whispered and Draco's arms tightened around him.

"Good, please continue." Myari said.

"After the Basilisk get's it eyes pecked out, the scene changes again and Haiden pulls out a sword from the hat and points it at the Basilisk as if he is going to fight it. The Basilisk whips its head towards Haiden as if to bite him, it misses him with it's mouth but knocks Haiden over and the sword slides over to me. For some reason that even I don't know, now or in the dream, I pick up the sword. Being as loud as I can, I run to the statue and the Basilisk follows me and I stab the Basilisk in roof of its mouth when it tries to bite me. And in doing this I end up stabbing myself with one of its fangs." Harry mutters pulling away from Draco and curling into a ball refusing to look at anyone. He felt Draco begin to shift only to suddenly stop, he peeked at his friends long enough to see Myari had her hand up, silently telling Draco to stop.

"And then what?" Myari asked and Harry shook his head.

"You know what happens." Harry snapped at her. He didn't to talk about what happened next. They wouldn't make him talk about what happened next.

"Even so, you need to talk about." Myari told him gently.

"Why, it's not like it's gonna help. This is pointless. Why are we even doing this? This is stupid! And you're even more stupid for thinking it will help!" He lashed out at her. "I don't even know why I hang out with any of yall! You're an imbecile that couldn't find her way of of a wet paper bag even with detailed notes." He spat at Myari before glaring a Luna. "You're crazy!" He turned his glare at Draco who looked scared at what Harry would say about him. Harry opened his mouth to let him have it, hesitated for a second. "And… and… and…" He stumbled, his steam fading. "And you're a spoiled brat!" He cried before shooting up from the couch and made it out the common room before he was stopped tears falling from his eyes.

Harry allowed his body to take him to where he really wanted to be at that moment. He barely paused to knock on the person's door before he flew into their office shocking them. Harry threw his body onto the person who automatically held him to them. "What's wrong? What's going on?" Severus asked in a panic.

"I'm not just a shield, am I dad?" He asked not even noticing what he had accidentally let slip from his mouth. Ever since last year when Severus had allowed him to share the same bed as him, he had begun to see the man as his father, but he had been too scared to tell him.

"What are you talking about? Who said you were just a shield?" Severus asked after taking a deep breath, obviously focusing on the more important thing Harry had said first before focusing on the name he had been called.

"Professor Dumbledore." Harry cried. "I overheard you two talking last year. Dumbledore said that I was only needed to strengthen the blood wards. That I was basically only a shield." Harry pulled away from the man to look at him pleadingly. "I don't want to just be a shield."

"Don't you listen to a damn thing Dumbledore said. He is a crackpot old fool who thinks he knows everything, but let me tell you a secret." Severus told him as he sat Harry on his desk and began to whip the tears from his eyes. "He doesn't know anything." He gave Harry a little smile before pulling him into another hug. "If you overheard that, then you overheard how me a Lucius are trying to fight him, to get you taken away from the abuse, will you be willing to help?"

"Will I be able to live with you?" Harry asked.

"That's the plan." Severus told him.

"Then I want to help." Harry said and Severus beamed at him before an unreadable look suddenly settled onto his face.

"You called me dad." Severus said and Harry's eyes widened.

"I… Shou-should I not have?" Harry asked and Severus suddenly looked panic.

"No… I mean yes… I mean…" Severus stuttered shocking Harry, he had never heard Severus stutter like this, not even when he had asked him about crushes. Severus suddenly sat in his desk chair and covered his face with his hands. It took a second for Harry to realise that Severus was crying.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to upset you." Harry told the man.

"I'm not upset, Harry." Severus told him removing his hands from his face to show the smile on the man's face. "I'm happy, more than happy, ecstatic. I don't think I've ever been this happy since my partner's other self accepted me as his mate. For a while now I've been trying to find a way to bring up the subject of our relationship." Severus took a deep shuddering breath. "I want to be your father. I want you to see me as your father. And hearing you call me dad… You don't know how happy you just made me, but it also scares me."

"It does?" Harry asked.

"Yes. You see Harry, up until you came into my life, I had never wanted to be a father. Ran away from the very thought. Me and my partner fought over the subject god knows how many times, got kicked to the couch so many times that I had to go out and my a comfier couch." Harry laughed alongside Severus at this, even though he didn't really get what he was laughing at. "But then I looked into your eyes in Diagon Alley and suddenly I longed to be your father." Severus suddenly chucked at a thought that entered his mind. "You should have seen how happy my partner was when I told him, he wanted to meet you that very night practically attacked me when I said he had to wait. I didn't want make you feel you had to be my son."

"Can I meet him now?" Harry asked.

"I wish, he's away right now. His, uh, his boss sent him on a project and he won't be back until around the Christmas Holidays." Severus said in a tone that made Harry realize that this topic was one that Severus hated to talk about.

"So, then, I'll just go home with you during the Christmas break." Harry said innocently.

"I can't legally take you home for Christmas break." Severus said sadly before he got an idea. "But I can bring him over to the Manor." He hinted and Harry smile.

"Can't wait to meet him. What's his name?" Harry asked.

"Remus. Remus Lupin. And there's something you need to know about him, something that you can't tell anyone else." Severus said seriously.

"What?" Harry asked.

"Remus is a Lycon." Harry's eyes widened at that.