Maybe

**Lexas POV**

“Lexa.” Costia stood across the hall watching her, her eyes flickered to Clarkes and she saw how her posture tensed and she glared like the look would make the woman behind her burst into flames. She could feel Clarkes body close behind hers, she looked back to see Clarke was mirroring Costias stance.

She wanted to relax her, to reassure her because she knew how much she must hate seeing Costia, let alone what her own reaction would have been to someone talking about Clarke the way Costia had spoken of her.

She kept watching Clarke until she looked back at her, they kept eye contact, Lexa tilted her head the side questioning if Clarke was okay without saying anything, she understood because she nodded in response which Lexa took as an okay.

She turned back to Costia, “What are you doing here?” Costia paused her glaring from Clarke to look at her with such sadness that Lexa almost took a step forward.

“I needed to see you babe, to talk to you, why have you been ignoring me? Is this bitch telling you not to talk to me?” Lexa felt her anger rise at Costia referring to Clarke that way. She felt Clarke start to take a steps forward.

“Who the hell do you think you are!?” Lexa grabbed Clarkes arm before she could actually pass her. She turned her so Clarke was facing her, she had never seen so much anger in her face before.

“Clarke. Please?” Clarke just shook her head in response, refusing to calm down. Lexa looked behind her to see Costia watching them barely able to contain her own anger. She couldn’t let this escalate.

“Costia don’t refer to Clarke that way, if you attack her you attack me.” Lexa placed her hands on Clarkes shoulder and leaned in to whisper to her, “Let me handle this, please baby.” She didn’t move until she got a response, Clarke took a moment to nod.

She knew Clarke needed something, when she pulled away she stopped to press a kiss to Clarkes cheek. She moved to step in front of her again.

“What the fuck Lexa? How could you do this?” Lexa looked around the hallway. She didn’t want to have this conversation in the hall where everyone could hear.

She reached behind her and took Clarkes hand, rubbing circles with her thumb, she reached the door and Costia just stood her ground, going back to glaring at Clarke. “We are going into the apartment, if you really do need to talk then come in, but I’m not doing this out here Costia.”

Costia nodded her head and moved out of the way, Lexa unlocked the door and stepped in pulling Clarke behind her. Costia walked in right after them. Lexa turned to her and pointed to where her room was, throwing the keys at her.

Costia nodded and began walking to the room. Lexa turned to Clarke who looked confused and pissed off. “What are you doing Lexa?” She pulled her hand out of hers and Lexa felt her heart clench at the rejection.

“Clarke.” She went to touch Clarkes face but she took a step away so Lexa wouldn’t touch her.

“Clarke, I’m just going to talk to her real quick that’s it, and then she will go. She just needs to be set straight. Please, don’t make this into a fight between us.”

She put her hand out for Clarke but she wouldn’t even look at her. Lexa felt her heart clench again, she had to fix this as soon as possible, it hurt her seeing Clarke like this with her.

“Baby? I will fix this, just, please don’t leave.” She hoped Clarke understood that she meant she didn’t want Clarke to leave the apartment but she also meant she didn’t want her to leave her too. She waited for a response but Clarke gave none. She just turned away and sat on a chair facing the window, back to her.

Lexa stood for a moment just watching her before she turned towards her room ready to put an end to whatever this was.

She took a deep breath before entering the room.

Costia was sitting on her bed legs crossed, tears rolling down her face. Lexa glanced behind her deciding to close the door.

She moved to sit on the other side of the bed putting as much distance between them as possible.

“Costia?” It took a moment for her to calm herself down. The part of Lexa that recognized Costia as her friend wanted to comfort her but the tug on her heart she knew was for the girl out in the living room, so she made no move to get closer.

“How Lexa? I thought you loved me?”

Lexa tilted her head to the side trying to figure out how to handle this the best way possible.

“I did Cos, you know I did.” Costia just shook her head, as tears streamed down her face.

“You don’t love me anymore?”

“I do.” Costia went to move towards her but Lexa put her hand up to stop her. “I’m not in love with you, but I love you, always will, we spent three years together, but you can’t do this.”

She could see how much her denial hurt her, but still all she wanted was to get back to Clarke, she was scared that she would turn her away now and she couldn’t let that happen.

“Do what exactly Lexa?”

“Show up here out of nowhere, act like you have some sort of claim on me. You don’t, we broke up.”

“It took so long for you to move on huh? Tell me Lexa, how long were you fucking her behind my back?”

Lexa felt her anger rise she jumped up and walked around the bed to stand in front of Costia.

“Don’t you fucking dare Costia! I never cheated on you and you know it!”

Costia was glaring at her, “So you never touched your whore until after we broke up? Thanks I appreciate it.”

Lexa wanted to shake her, who was this hateful person in front of her? “I swear to god Costia, if you say one more thing about her, you can leave right now and we will never talk again. She is mine and you will not talk about her like that.”

“Is she the one you left me for that weekend?” She knew she wasn’t going to like the answer, but she wouldn’t lie.

“Yes.” She moved to the door and sat in front of it on the floor.

“You said she was just a friend who needed you.”

“She was.”

“Did you have feelings for her then?”

Lexa closed her eyes and breathed in. She saw flashes of her times with Clarke before that weekend with Costia. She thought of how annoying Clarke was, how despite that she loved it when she was close. She had loved waking up to her, fighting with her, and just being with her. She had felt a physical attraction to her early on, she couldn’t deny that.

She pictured Clarkes blonde hair, her pale skin, but most of all her blue eyes, always so beautiful. She heard her laugh in her mind and it brought peace to her heart, just the thought of it making her relax. Her eyes snapped open at her realization, she was falling in love with her. Just the thought of losing her brought a pain to her that she had never felt before. What she felt for Clarke was incomparable to what she had with Costia, with Clarke it was so much more.

She looked at Costia who was still waiting for an answer.

“Yes.”

Costia just nodded accepting it.

“What happened to Nia, I thought you were going to try things with her?”

“She isn’t you Lex, it was never going to work.”

“You will find someone else Costia. But we are done.”

The tears began rolling down her face again.

“You love her don’t you?”

Lexa breathed in deeply, “I’m falling in love with her.”

Costia looked down and covered her eyes with her hands. “I wish you weren’t.” She didn’t have a response for that. She just watched her quietly.

“I don’t think we can be friends anymore.” Costias head snapped up at that.

“No Lexa, you don’t mean that.”

She watched her gaging her reaction, “I do mean that, you need to move on, and I can’t expect Clarke to be okay with us being friends anymore after what you just pulled. I won’t lose her because of you. I can’t.”

Costia began to cry harder. Lexa just kept sitting and waited for her to calm down.

Once she thought Costia was calm enough she began to talk.

“There isn’t a bus back to your school until the morning. You can stay here tonight. I’m going to leave with Clarke and spend the night in her room. Don’t be here when we get back tomorrow.”

She got up and moved to her drawers grabbing pajamas and sweat pants for her to wear in the morning.

“Lexa?” She turned and looked at Costia who had laid herself down and was just watching her. “You look beautiful. I’m going to remember you like this.”

She ignored what she said and walked over to the door, “Goodbye Costia,” she turned towards the door, “don’t call me, or text me, and don’t come back here again.” She opened the door and stepped out closing it behind her taking a deep breathe in.

She walked to the living room and she felt like the world stopped for a moment. Clarke was gone.

**Clarkes POV**

Seeing Lexas ex had made her so angry and it made her realize how she really didn’t know where she and Lexa stood. She knew Lexa cared for her and that they had agreed to only be physical with each other. But besides that what did this more than friends thing they had going on actually mean?

Now that ex was glaring at her and all Clarke could hear in her mind was the repetition of “I always preferred fingers first, she finishes so damn strong with her tongue.” The idea of Lexa touching anyone that wasn’t her caused her to forget to breathe. It made her want to break things, to destroy something.

She focused in on Lexa watching her, she knew she was checking to see if she was okay. She wasn’t but she nodded anyway.

She couldn’t focus, she couldn’t think, she couldn’t breathe. She was going to lose her.

“I needed to see you babe, to talk to you, why have you been ignoring me? Is this bitch telling you not to talk to me?”

Clarke was ready to snap. It wasn’t even at Costia calling her a bitch it was her choice of reference to Lexa. Lexa was hers. She walked forward, she wouldn’t go down without a fight.

“Who the hell do you think you are!?” She felt Lexa grab her and next thing she knew she was facing her.

“Clarke please.” She shook her head, she couldn’t just stand here and do nothing. “Costia don’t refer to Clarke that way, if you attack her you attack me.”  She felt Lexas hands on her shoulders, the touch making her relax slightly.

“Let me handle this, please baby.” The term of endearment whispered into her ear cleared her head slightly. She needed to calm down for Lexa, her being upset would only make things worse. She nodded.

Lexa pressed her lips to her cheek before pulling away, and all Clarke wanted to do was pull her back in and press a kiss to her lips so that Costia would get the point but she controlled her instincts.

“What the fuck Lexa? How could you do this?”

Clarke looked towards the wall, if she looked at her she wasn’t going to be able to control herself. Lexa grabbed her hand and rubbed her thumb over her hand repeatedly, the motion calming her slightly.

“We are going into the apartment, if you really do need to talk then come in, but I’m not doing this out here Costia.”

Clarkes eyes widened. Was Lexa serious? She must have been because next thing she knew she was being pulled into the apartment and Lexa was giving Costia the key to her room. What the fuck was happening and why was Costia going into Lexas bedroom?

“What are you doing Lexa?” She pulled her hand out of Lexas, she felt betrayed, why was this happening?

“Clarke.” Lexa went to touch her but she pulled away, she couldn’t do this, she couldn’t let her do this.

“Clarke, I’m just going to talk to her real quick that’s it, and then she will go. She just needs to be set straight. Please, don’t make this into a fight between us.”

What was this us Lexa was referring to because Clarke certainly didn’t know. She wanted to know, needed to know. What were they, whatever they were was it enough for Lexa to choose her?

She could see Lexa reaching out for her but she couldn’t bring herself to look at her. She knew if she did she wouldn’t be able to do it. She would break down and cry, she couldn’t do that right now. If she felt her skin or saw her green eyes she wouldn’t be able to hold it in.

“Baby? I will fix this, just, please don’t leave.”

 Clarke closed her eyes for a moment trying to control her emptions. She moved and sat herself down in the chair. She heard Lexa walking away from her, when she heard the bedroom door close she couldn’t help but whisper, “Please don’t leave me.”

She was able to sit for less than thirty seconds after the door closed. She needed to know what was being said.

“Costia?” Clarke could hear the sniffles of the other girl through the door.

“How Lexa? I thought you loved me?” Clarke felt her anger rise, but also her doubts. They had been together for years, she knew Lexa had loved her. She had been the one to comfort her over their breakup.

“I did Cos, you know I did.” Lexa saying that hurt her, she knew it shouldn’t, she has only known Lexa for a month, Lexa had a life before her.

“You don’t love me anymore?” Clarke held her breathe, she pressed her ear to the door. She needed to know Lexas answer, it was the only thing that mattered in this moment.

“I do.” Clarke couldn’t move for a moment her mind was blank, and then she heard the creak of the bed, which meant they were on her bed. She couldn’t do this. She ran as quietly and as quickly to the door as she could.

When she felt the cool air hit her face she couldn’t stop the tears from flowing. She should have known, hell she had known. Three fucking years of dating her best friend, of course she still loved her. Maybe they were meant to be, maybe she had been a distraction for her.

She began walking towards her own room. She needed to be alone, her heart felt like it had been ripped out of her chest and squeezed to its breaking point.

She had never felt this kind of pain before, but she had never felt so strongly for anyone in her entire life. She had to let her go. But when she closed her eyes she was all that she could see.

The thought of being with anyone else made her sick, how was she going to do this? She was falling in love with Alexandria Woods and in mere minutes she had lost her.

At this very moment while her heart was breaking Costia was probably touching her. She wondered briefly if Lexa came out of the room to tell her to go home before they began having sex or if she even remembered she had been there.

The thought of someone else’s hands taking Lexa out of that dress made her sick, the idea of Lexa kissing down anyone else’s body but  her own was an image she couldn’t handle.

When she made it up to her room she was relieved to find that it was empty, she laid herself on her bed letting the tears fall freely. Lexa loved Costia, she wanted Costia, and there was nothing she could do about it.