its about time
AP0LL0 enjolras
courffee courfeyrac
moth_erfucker combeferre
chettta musichetta
johncena bahorel
_feuilly_ feuilly
jolyranchers joly
epo9 eponine
claudemoneY grantaire
plantastic Jehan
BossAssBitch Bossuet
MariusFucker Cosette
CosetteFucker Marius
Memepornass Montparnasse
gayvroche gavroche
you have entered the group chat “Les Amemes”
courffee: DID YOU GUYS KNOW THAT THE MUSAIN IS A POKÉMON GYM
moth_erfucker: check who owns it :)
courffee: COMBEFERRE WHEN DID YOU GET A GYRADOS
moth_erfucker: last night me and grantaire feuilly went out but you were asleep and I didnt want to wake you up because I knew you had work in the morning
claudemoneY: I finally got enough vulpix candy to evolve it into ninetails im so hype
claudemoneY: i named him apollo :)
courffee: i am so hurt
moth_erfucker: would it make you feel better if i told you that i took ur phone with me and hatched 2 of ur eggs :)))))
courffee: Let Me Suck Ur Dick Right Now™
_feuilly_: literally im so far behind you guys even though i started at the same time.
_feuilly_: ALL I CAN EVER FIND IS RATTATS AND WEEDLES
MariusFucker: I have a Dragonite :)
_feuilly_: cosette you can literally fuck right off you valor scum
claudemoneY: INSTINCT 4 LYFE
plantastic: im with you on that
_feuilly_: um? wrong. Valor or get the frick out
moth_erfucker: I dont think you guys realize how hard it is for me and courf to be on separate teams. This game has brought us to the brink of breakups like 2o3409 times.
courffee: SHUT THE FUCK UP YOU MYSTIC PIECE OF SHIT
moth_erfucker: see what i mean
courffee: im kidding of course :) i dont care what time youre on :) were all friends here :) just trying to catch em all :) lets all be friends :) amirite? :)
claudemoneY: lol instinct is the WORST
johncena: have you guys thought about how these teams are pulling us apart rather than bringing us together? think about it. This is the first large scale game like this. Its a world record. The first of its kind. And then they go and pin us against each other? you cant help from juxtaposing it to the imaginary lines of the borders of our countries. These lines dictate who hates who and how much you matter as a person
claudemoneY: lol shut up u mystic loser
johncena: GRANTAIRE I SWEAR TO GOD U ARE ABOUT TO CATCH THESE HANDS
claudemoneY: FIGHT ME
courffee: anyways i just took this gym from you combeferre. I put in my jolteon. Her name is Thunder Boom-o.
moth_erfucker: we are getting a divorce
courffee: never talk to me or Thunder Boom-o ever again
gayroche: hang on enjolras wanted me to add him
gayvroche has added AP0LL0 to the group chat “Les Amemes”
AP0LL0: hello. Can anyone pick me up at the train station
courffee: ENJOLRAS!!! YOURE BACK!!
AP0LL0: hello courf! yes. i am back
chettta: OH SHIT WADDUP
moth_erfucker: its about time
AP0LL0: it was only like 3 days
moth_erfucker: do you know what has happened in those three days?? everything has gone to hell.
moth_erfucker: the bees are dying, the atmosphere is deteriorating, deforestation continues to thrive, and worst of all those losers from across the street stole that pokemon gym from us.
AP0LL0: im so sorry ok this was a personal calibration educational retreat
jolyranchers: did you learn anything
AP0LL0: i learned that kids are still drinking really bad vodka in college and you can get warm cookies delivered to your dorm room until 4 am.
gayvroche: he also outlined a program to help prevent violence on campus and told me who to talk to to get a teacher to come in to give free self defense classes for girls and LGBT+ ppl so
gayvroche: enjolras is literally modern day mother teresa.
AP0LL0: ok listen I'll talk to you all more in person but I'm sorry for scaring any of you and also not replying to your messages that wasn't cool of me
plantastic: I'm pretty sure we’ve all been there it's okay
courffee has created the chat “EVERYONE BUT E + R”
courffee: SOS THIS IS A CHAT WITH EVERYONE BUT GRANTAIRE AND ENJOLRAS
courffee: NO ONE PICK UP ENJOLRAS FROM THE TRAIN STATION
courffee: I REPEAT
courffee: N O O N E P I C K U P E N J F R O M T H E T R A I N S T A T I O N.
CosetteFucker: ok why
MariusFucker: babe we want grantaire to pick him up so they can #CONFRONT their EMOtions
CosetteFucker: alright but don't you think enjolras would maybe feel weird with grantaire picking him up because of how they left things? Like idk but I feel like if I was enjolras I wouldn't be particularly keen on having the person I was trying to avoid be the first person I see when I come back.
CosetteFucker: at least, if I saw it coming I would get really nervous right before hand and maybe RUN HOME instead
BossAssBitch: this little springbean has a point actually
BossAssBitch: enjolras might protest to grantaire picking him up
courffee: hmmmm.,,
courffee: i…...
moth_erfucker: DONT
courffee: …...have a plan
MariusFucker: I'm in
courffee: ok so here is what we do
courffee: wait Cosette are you free?
MariusFucker: as free as a white rich criminal
johncena: DRAG
courffee: ok great so ferre, Cosette, and I will tell enjolras that WE are picking him up, right?
jolyranchers: this is so scandalous
courffee: but it will ACTUALLy be grantaire picking him up but just so we don't make enjolras nervous u feel?
courffee: and enjolras will come out thinking he's getting picked up by US but he's actually getting picked up BY GRANTAIRE
courffee: and then hopefully they will DO THE THING ??
moth_erfucker: The Thing being ??
courffee: ferre, there are CHILDREN in this chat I can't talk about The Thing that's disgusting
MariusFucker: ok this is great but why did you ask if I was free if we aren't even gonna pick him up
courffee: BC DONT YOU WANT TO GO WATCH A CONFESSION OF TRUE LOVE? IMAGINE. THE FEAR, THE COMPASSION, THE CONFUSION, THE SCENT OF HORMONES IN THE AIR.
CosetteFucker: you can see that everyday with me and Cosette :))
johncena: thats digusting no thank u
courffee: so what we do is this: Cosette, you will tell enjolras that you will come get him and that me and ferre are tagging along too. then we convince grantaire come too so that he can confront enjolras about his gayness and tell grantaire that we are gonna go across the street to the store to idk buy condoms and tampons or smthng u feel?? BUT REALLY we will be hiding just out of sight from them so they cant see us but we can watch and see what happens
_feuilly_: wouldnt it just be easier to,..., idk,,,.. maybe.../ let them have their moment alone :))) and just have grantaire go pick him up by himself and they can figure this out for themselves?????
courffee: who is this person and why is he trying to infringe my first amendment rights
courffee: aka to right to BE THE FIRST TO ALL THE BEST GOSSIP
epo9: can we bet on this
johncena: i support this idea
chettta: 5 euros that they are gonna kiss right there at the train station
jolyranchers: ill take that bet. 10 on that enjolras is gonna just turn around and try and get back on the train when he sees grantaire.
courffee: if enjolras cites 3 or more political reasons as to why he was ignoring grantaire everyone owes me a euro.
moth_fucker: no wait. if he cites more than 6 everyone owes ME a euro. if its anywhere between 3-5 then people owe courfeyrac a euro.
courffee: ok i like those chances.
_feuilly_: ok everyone tell me your guess as to how long they are going to stare at each other before saying anything when they first see each other. whoever is the closest wins 2 euros from everyone.
jolyranchers: 8 seconds
chettta: im going 15
BossAssBitch: it cant be more than 20
moth_erfucker: i think that theyre both gonna have so much to say that its not gonna be that long. like 5 seconds
epo9: nope im going a full 30 seconds
plantastic: 31 seconds
epo9 : WOW
plantastic: its called a strategy.
johncena: 59 SECONDS
MariusFucker: 45 seconds
CosetteFucker: im actually just gonna say 10.
_feuilly_: ok and im betting its gonna be like 26
courffee: ok now that we have betting out of the way, cosette, text in the group chat and say that you are going to pick him up but that me and combeferre are going to tag along as well.
courffee: im going to try and convince grantaire to come with us.
MariusFucker: alright its lit.
You have entered the group chat “ Les Amemes”
MariusFucker: enjoras, babe, i can pick you up :))))
AP0LL0: thank you so much cosette!!!
MariusFucker: no problem!! Courf and ferre are gonna come too
AP0LL0: okay nice!!!
you have entered the group chat “ THEM BOIS” with MariusFucker, claudemoneY, courffee, and moth_erfucker
courffee: grantaire you need to come with us to pick up enjolras
claudemoneY: no
courffee: but you have to
claudemoneY: why
moth_erfucker: so you can confront him
MariusFucker : YEAH and be like???? WTF IS UP ?? HOE???
claudemoneY: is that really what you want me to do cosette?
claudemoneY: you want me to go up to apollo and say “what the fuck is up, hoe.”
MariusFucker: yes i dont see why thats so weird
claudemoneY: anyways,.,,..,
claudemoneY: i was just going to let enjolras come to ME
claudemoneY: because as you know, i am the one who brought it up to him first and then he freaked out and fucking left which is so not like him
moth_erfucker: LIKING SOMEONE is not like him
moth_erfucker: to be honest i think he just doesnt understand how to handle his emotions when it comes to relationships because he hasnt really had to do that in the past.
courffee: this is so high school i love it
claudemoneY: IM 25 YEARS OLD YOU THINK I WOULD BE ABLE TO HAVE A CONVERSATION WITH SOMEONE ABOUT OUR FEELINGS.
courffee: listen my dude, we told enjolras that we are going to pick him up. if you come with us now, we can go off and give you a while to talk it out and figure something out or whatever. the longer you put this off the worse its gonna get
claudemoneY: mmmmmmnmnmmnmnmnmmm
claudemoneY: askdfa
claudemoneY: i just
claudemoneY: ok
claudemoneY: i’ll come
MariusFucker: YASSS were outside ur apartment come down
claudemoneY: wtf
courffee: i told you this plan was foolproof
moth_erfucker: listen,,,.
you have entered the group chat “Les Amemes”
MariusFucker: Enjolras we are out front waiting :))))
AP0LL0: ok cool i’ll be out in like 3 minutes
you have entered the group chat “THEM BOIS”
moth_erfucker: okay so courf, cosette, and i are going to go over to the store across the street to get some stuff. text me when youre ready to go grantaire ((((:
claudemoneY: im going to throw up i dont wnat t to do this
courffee: its too late
claudemoneY: I CANT TPYE MY HANDS ARE SHAKING S O ABD
MariusFucker: its okay babe you got this. enjolras is just as scared of you as you are of him
claudemoneY: angels do not fear the demons below them
moth_erfucker: grantaire i swear to god.
claudemoneY: OK I HAVE TO GO NOW IM TOO NERVOUS TO LOOK AT MY PHONE IM GOING TO KEEP LOOKING FOR ENJOLRAS
you have entered the group chat “ EVERYONE BUT E + R”
11:02 am
courffee: omg omgomgomgog
moth_erfucker: i have my stopwatch out to time how long they stare at each other before one of them talks.
courffee: for those of you watching at home, we are currently hiding behind a large column just out of eyesight of grantaire.
courffee: he has no idea were here.
epo9: this is so exciting im gonna PUNCH SOMETHING
MariusFucker: ok ok ok omgomg i see enjolras but neither of them has seen the other
courffee: aaaannnnnndddd…..
courffee: THERE IT IS
_feuilly_: TIME IT TIME IT TIME IT
courffee: this is so magical i am going to faint
MariusFucker: it reminds me of how bahorel looks at grilled cheese
johncena: DRAG ME
johncena: BURN
johncena: YOU GOT ME
moth_erfucker: 12.58 SECONDS
_feuilly_: that means that….,,. let me check
_feuilly_: MUSICHETTA WINS!!!
chettta: YAAASSSS
chettta: ID LIKE TO THANK THE ACADEMY, AS WELL AS MY FORTUNE COOKIE FROM LAST NIGHT THAT SAID MY LUCKY NUMBER WAS 15
MariusFucker: ENJOLRAS TURNED AND TRIED TO GO BACK INTO THE TRAIN STATION BUT HE COULDNT BECAUSE THE TURNSTILES ONLY GO ONE WAY. OH GOD HE LOOKS SO HELPLESS
jolyranchers: I CALLED IT. I WIN!!!
courffee: grantaire looks mad now
courffee: he just used enjolras’s full name, which keep in mind he never does. and like half walked half ran over to him. But like, angrily, as if he's gonna stab him.
moth_erfucker: enjolras looks like hes going to die
courffee: enjolras just said “I thought i was meeting cosette, combef-” and then grantaire interrupted him.
courffee: “I just don’t get it” grantaire is saying. “why did you leave?”
courffee: omg grantaire is about to cry
courffee: wait no hes not
moth_erfucker: is he?
courffee: OMG OMG
courffee: enjolras goes “Grantaire, listen, I’m sorry. I know i owe you an explanation.”
moth_erfucker: “you’re goddamn right you do.”
courffee: “I never meant to make you feel uncomfortable. I shouldn't have just kissed you like that. It was wrong. I was drunk and I know thats not a good excuse but im sorry.”
johncena: these two i swear to god.
moth_erfucker: “So you regret it?” grantaire asked
MariusFucker: “Yes. I regret it because it obviously made you uncomfortable, that's the last thing i want to do.”
moth_erfucker: “But… you… you don’t LIKE me like that…. do you?” grantaire is saying
chettta: im dying im dying im dying im dying
MariusFucker: “I mean… I um…. like I said before, I just uh…” enjolras is loosing it i have never seen him at such a loss for words
moth_erfucker: now theyre completly silent. enjorlas is staring at the ground and grantaire looks like he just had the biggest trip of his life.
courffee: “It… it didnt make me uncomfortable.” AHHH YOU GUYS THEYRE DOING IT
MariusFucker: “What?” enjolras looked up back at grantaire
courffee: “The kiss. It didn’t make me uncomfortable.”
moth_erfucker : enjolras looks so confused. “What do you mean? I thought you hated me-”
MariusFucker: KJSDFH;ASLDKFA SLDKFJASLDKF;A
courffee: oD;FASDK F HOLY FUK THE Y SDF UCKING
moth_erfucker: HE DID THAT!!!!!
epo9 : WHAT DID HE DO!!!
CosetteFucker: WE ARE NOT THERE WE DO NOT KNOW WHAT THIS MEANS
johncena: WHAT IS GOING ON
MariusFucker: GRANTAIRE KISSED ENJORLAS!!! ON THE MOUTH!! WITH HIS OWN MOUTH!!!
moth_erfucker: LONGEST BOO YEAH EVER!!!!!
courffee: THEY !! DID !! THE !! THING !!
moth_erfucker: wait wait shut up
courffee: “I don’t hate you enjorlas. I don’t hate you. I could never hate you. I don’t always get why you believe in the things that you do, but if there is anyone in the world who could makes those dreams come true, its you. all i do know is that i believe in you enjolras.”
moth_erfucker: enjolras is speechless.
moth_erfucker: ENJOLRAS IS GOING TO KISS GRANTAIRE AGAIN
courffee: wait no hes stopping
MariusFucker: he jus wispered something that i cant hear
courffee: its a good thing i read lips :)))
johncena: why on earth do you know how to read lips courfeyrac
courffee: so i can listen in on more drama wtf duh
courffee: ok so enjolras goes in to kiss grantaire but then stops and omg omg ok so he stops and says,.,. either... “Do you permit it” or “ “Ew, you bumble bee” ……
courffee: i think it was the first one.
moth_erfucker: and then grantaire like nods a lot and now theyre making out
_feuilly_: gay
CosetteFucker: thats rlly gross
plantastic: this is too gay pls stop
courffee: aw :) theyre hugging now
chettta: gay
jolyranchers: gay
BossAssBitch: its about fuckin time tho
jolyranchers: i wonder whats gonna happen now?
moth_erfucker: they..,. they just left without us
MariusFucker: WHAT THE FUCK
courffee: CALL HIM
MariusFucker: combeferre is now calling grantaire to ask what the fuck is up
plantastic: karma
moth_erfucker: GRANTAIRE SAID HE FORGOT WE WERE HERE IM LAUGHING SO HARD.
courffee: ARE THEY COMING BACK FOR US????
moth_erfucker: YES
MariusFucker: appuled. disgusted. i have stopped being a supporter of the gays. this is the last straw. blocked. reported. unfriended.
courffee: A;SKDFJA;SDF
johncena: WAIT
johncena: does enjolras know that we all know everything that happened
jolyranchers: no? right?
CosetteFucker: grantaire knows that we know. but i dont think enjolras knows that we know.
chettta: does that mean we need to ask surprised when they tell us?
plantastic: wait but grantaire doesnt know that we know about what just happened
_feuilly_: this is to much i cant do this can we just tell them that we know
plantastic: i think we should let them come to us.
moth_erfucker: were getting in the car right now. we’ll keep you updated.
MariusFucker: theyre both smiling like idiots.
courffee: grantaire is apologizing for forgetting us MMHMM
moth_erfucker: ASDFK courf just said “its okay you were probably just preoccupied”
MariusFucker: DRAG
You have entered the group chat “Les Amemes"
BossAssBitch: YO YO TO TOTOTOEOOFOED
BossAssBitch: GUYS DKEKFKOEKD PH MYGOD IM S C R E A M I N G
jolyranchers: WHAT HAPPENED
BossAssBitch: IS MARIUS HERE??
CosetteFucker: Yes I Am Here™
BossAssBitch: YOU WERENT IN CLASS TODAY BUD
CosetteFucker: but we don't have class today it's Monday
BossAssBitch: TRY AGAIN SWEATY :)
CosetteFucker: WHAT THE FUCK ITS TUSEDAY?? WHAT THR FUCK HAPPENED TO MONDAY
CosetteFucker: WHY DIDNT YOU REMIND ME???
BossAssBitch: I DIDNT THINK ABOUT IT UNTIL I WAS SITTING IN CLASS AND YOU WERENT THERE!!!
BossAssBitch: AND YOU MISSED THE CLASS WITH THAT RLLY STRICT TEACHER WHOS A TRICK ASS HOE
CosetteFucker: DID HE NOTICE I WAS GONE??
BossAssBitch: FUCKING LISTEN TO THE STORY
CosetteFucker: OKAY WHAT HAPPENED
BossAssBitch: OK SO WHAT HAD HAPPENED WAS, I WAS SITTIN IN CLASS MINDING MY OWN GODDAMNED BUSINESS WHEN CLASS STARTS AND !!!! YOU WEREN'T THERE !!!!
BossAssBitch: AND THE TEACHER STARTS TO TAKE ROLE FOR GOD KNOWS WHAT REASON BC WHO !! TAKES !! ATTENDANCE !! IN !! UNIVERSITY !!
johncena: your teacher takes attendance???
BossAssBith: hon pls dont interupt me
johncena: my apologies please continue
BossAssBitch: OK SO AS YOU KNOW, THE TEACHER GIVES YOU ONE CHANCE. YOU ARE ALLOWED TO SKIP CLASS ONE TIME BEFORE HE KICKS YOU OUT OF HIS PROGRAM. AND I KNEW THAT ME AND MARIUS HAD ALREADY MISSED A DAY FOR THAT TIME COSETTE WAS IN THE HOSPITAL WHEN SHE BROKE HER ARM A WHILE BACK? AND I KNEW THAT ONCE THE TEACHER CALLED HIS NAME HE WOULD BE KICKED OUT OF THE PROGRAM!!!
CosetteFucker: FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK
CosetteFucker: THIS WAS THE ONLY CLASS I NEEDED TO GRADUATE
CosetteFucker: IM GOING TO HAVE TO RETAKE IT.
CosetteFucker: THAT MEANS A WHOLE NOTHER SEMESTER
CosetteFucker: I HAD AN INTURNSHIP THAT STARTS IN 2 MONTHS THAT I WONT BE ABLE TO DO NOW
CosetteFucker: ALSO I CANT AFFORD TO RETAKE THIS CLASS!!! I HAVE ZERO MONEY!!!
CosetteFucker: MY LIFE IS OVER
CosetteFucker: IM GOING TO DIE HOMELESS AND POOR
CosetteFucker: do you think i can like email the professor and tell him that i was in the hospital?? i could break my leg and then go to the hospital but then forge the documents to say that i was admitted this morning instead of this afternoon??????
CosetteFucker: quick i need someone to break my leg im not even joking at all my life depends on it.
_feuilly_: have someone push you down the stairs
chettta: i could hit you with my car and put you into a small coma
BossAssBitch: BOI DID I SAY THAT THE STORY WAS OVER???? NO??? THATS WHAT I THOUGHT. YOU HOES GOTTA STOP INTERRUPTING ME
BossAssBithch: THERE I WAS, THE TEACHER WAS GOING DOWN THE LIST CALLING PEOPLES NAMES.
BossAssBitch: he gets to marius’s name
BossAssBitch: AND I PANIC
BossAssBitch: AND I SAY “HERE”
CosetteFucker: YOU DIDNT
BossAssBitch: THE TEACHER LOOKED UP SLIGHTLY CONFUSED BUT I DONT THINK HE REALLY TRIED TO REMEMBER FACES SO HE MARKS YOU PRESENT AND JUST GOES ALONG CALLING THE NEXT NAME
BossAssBitch: AND THEN HE GETS TO MY NAME
BossAssBitch: AND I SAY “HERE” AGAIN
BossAssBitch: THIS TIME HE GETS MAD AND IS LIKE “you said your name is Marius Pontmercy.” AND I SAID YES THATS CORRECT. AND HES LIKE “if you are pontmercy, then you are not bossuet.” AND THEN HE CROSSES OFF MY NAME FROM THE ROSTER.
BossAssBitch: i had to stay for the entire lecture though bc i was pretending to be marius. I took notes for you though.
CosetteFucker: KJDHFAS;FAS;GFJA ;SFHA;L OH MY GOD
AP0LL0: so????? you got kicked out of law school???
jolyranchers : BOSSUET WHAT THE FUCK!! WHAT THE FUCK !!! WHAT THE FUCK!!!
chettta: BOSSUET WHAT THE FUCK!!! WHAT ARE YOU GOING TO DO???
CosetteFucker: No this isnt right no no no omg no im going right now to Professor Blondeau and telling him what happened and that you were just trying to cover for me and that it should be me getting kicked out and not you i cant do that to you bossuet
BossAssBitch: BITCH YOU WILL DO NO SUCH THING!!!!!!
BossAssBitch: I WAS ON THE BRINK OF BECOMING A LAWYER
BossAssBitch: A LAWYER, MARIUS. A. LAWYER
BossAssBitch : A !!! LAWYER !!!
BossAssBitch: ARE YOU HEARING ME???
BossAssBitch: A.
BossAssBitch: LAWYER.
BossAssBitch: DO YOU KNOW HOW MUCH I HATE LAWYERS??
BossAssBitch: except, of course, all my beautiful law friends who are going to use their powers for good and fight for the little guy instead of the big evil corporations.
_feuilly_: WHY DID YOU GO TO LAW SCHOOL IN THE FIRST PLACE IF YOU DIDNT WANT TO BECOME A LAWYER IN THE FIRST PLACE???
BossAssBitch: BC MY PARENTS WANTED ME TOO!!!! I WANTED TO DO STUFF WITH ANIMALS AND NATURE BUT MY PARENTS DIDNT THINK THAT THAT WAS PRACTICAL.
BossAssBitch: AND NOW I HAVE A REAL REASON TO TELL THEM THAT I CANT DO THAT!!! BECAUSE I GOT KICKED OUT !!!
BossAssBitch: not to be dramatic but THIS IS THE BEST THING THAT HAS EVER HAPPENED TO ME.
BossAssBitch: Marius, from the bottom of my heart, thank you.
CosetteFucker: …. i …. got you kicked out of law school
BossAssBitch: youre right. Thank you is not enough. Im coming over with champagne.
AP0LL0: I have never seen someone so happy about failing.
BossAssBitch: i feel like, life has meaning again. I am brought back to my childhood when the world was so colorful. everything is open to me now. my crops are prospering. my skin is clear. my debts are paid. i am in the best relationship of my life. anD I AM NO !! LONGER !! GONNA !! BE !! A !! LAWYER !!
chettta: i cannot believe you bossuet.
chettta: and i love you.
chettta: and am proud of you for following your instincts
jolyranchers: I THINK THAT CELEBRATIONS ARE IN ORDER!!!
CosetteFucker: come over we can celebrate
BossAssBitch: YOU GUYS DONT KNOW HOW HAPPY I AM
BossAssBitch: I AM LITERLLY RUNNING TO MARIUS’S APARTMENT RN BC I HAVE SO MUCH ENERGY!!!
CosetteFucker: MY APARTMENT IS 6 KILOMETERS AWAY FROM THE SCHOOL
chettta: BOSSUET, BABE, where are you? ill pick you up.
BossAssBitch: the courner of Fucking and Thrilled.
jolyranchers: ASDFKL
BossAssBitch: LMAO no but im at that little corner store right next to the cute bagel place.
jolyranchers: me and chetta are on our way to get you
BossAssBitch: YAASS
you have entered a chat with AP0LL0 and claudemoneY
4:21 pm
AP0LL0: Hey, thank you for picking me up at the train station by the way
claudemoneY: its no problem my dude
AP0LL0: can I see you later tonight
claudemoneY: Apollo, are you asking me out on a date?
AP0LL0: yes
claudemoneY: wait, really?
AP0LL0: YES OF COURSE
claudemoneY: so you DO like me then
AP0LL0: I literally just made out with you like an hour ago i wouldnt have done that if i didnt like you.
claudemoneY: this seems so fake to me. like a camera team is gonna pop out from behind a potted plant and be like YOUVE JUST BEEN PUNK’D!!
AP0LL0: this isnt a prank.
claudemoneY: are you sure
AP0LL0: yes.
claudemoneY: okay
AP0LL0: can we meet at the musain at 9?
claudemoneY: ok im not having my first date with you be at the same place where you have seen me drunkly scream the pokemon theme song while strip dancing on top of a table.
AP0LL0: do you have any other suggestions?
claudemoneY: yes actually. ill send you the address.
you have entered the group chat “!!GRANTAIRE SUPPORT SQUAD!!”
5:03 pm
claudemoneY: you guys have GOT to help me
epo9: whats up
claudemoneY: im sending you my location.
claudemoneY: meet me here and bring all the christmas lights you can
claudemoneY: also some nice dishes and a tablecloth and BUNCH of candles.
jolyranchers: i have dreamed about this moment for my entire life.
plantastic: SAY NO MORE
epo9: on my way
you have entered the group chat “Les Amemes”
10:45 pm
AP0LL0: hey guys me and grantaire have something to say
courffee: whats up? :)
AP0LL0: now i know this might come as a surprise to some of you
claudemoneY: yes. a surprise.
AP0LL0: and I know it is going to be a different group dynamic at first but
plantastic: go on
AP0LL0: and this doesnt mean that I wont spend any less time working toward my political and social goals
moth_erfucker: mmhmmmm
_feuilly_: jesus. WE KNOW!!
AP0LL0: no i dont think you do
AP0LL0: me and grantaire are dating :))
_feuilly_: WE KNOW!
AP0LL0: yes, because I just told you.
epo9: FINALLY
courffee: YAASSSSS
courffee: THIS WAS ALL PART OF MY PLAN. ALL OF IT.
moth_erfucker: congrats you guys im so proud of you gays
plantastic: THIS !! IS !! THE BEST DAY !! OF MY !! LIFE
MariusFucker: I cannot believe how much effort was put into this
claudemoneY: thanks you guys it means alot to us
plantastic: :,)
You have entered the group chat “best frens”
AP0LL0: you gays do you wanna know what just happened
moth_erfucker: spill the tea
plantastic: yaass
AP0LL0: alright so I asked grantaire out on a date for tonight and he said ok and I said lets go to the musain and he said no he has somewhere else in mind
moth_erfucker: ok continue
AP0LL0: and he sent me an address and ??? i when i put it into google maps i ?? had never been there before?? and it wasnt even like a restaurant or anything but i decided not to jump to the conclusion that grantaire had finally snapped and is gonna try to murder me, no instead i gave him the benefit of the doubt and i showed up at 9
moth_erfucker: did he kill you
AP0LL0: yes he took my breath away
moth_erfucker: metaphorically of course
AP0LL0: but he LITERALLY temporarily stopped me from breathing when we were making out.
plantastic: AISDF;ASDLKJF WHAT THE FUCK
moth_erfucker: WOWOWOW WTF!!!
AP0LL0: ok so ANYWAYS i get to the building and im so confused bc its kinda dark, there arent many street lights.
AP0LL0: and thEN he fucking CALLS DOWN TO ME FROM ON TOP OF THE ROOF
moth_erfucker: ???
AP0LL0: AND I COULD BARELY HEAR HIM BC THE BUILDING WAS SO TALL?
AP0LL0: he tells me to go through the door and meet him on the roof
AP0LL0: so i DID
AP0LL0: AND I GET TO THE ROOF
plantastic : MMHMM :))))
AP0LL0: and the whole thing is covered in fairy lights?? and ?? it was so beautiful oh my god you guys i couldve spent the rest of my life up there
AP0LL0: with him
AP0LL0: and he had dinner all set out on a table right next to the edge overlooking the city and the eiffel tower was lit up and OH MY GOD
AP0LL0: and he was standing there under the soft light and AND YOU GUYS!!!!
AP0LL0: YOU GUYS
plantastic: oh my god
plantastic: THIS IS SO CUTE
moth_erfucker: HE MUST REALLY LIKE YOU ENJOLRAS
AP0LL0: we ate dinner and then he had like a blanket laid out and HE TURNED OUT THE LIGHTS AND YOU COULD SEE THE STARS.
AP0LL0: he told me he brought me here bc it has less light pollution.
moth_erfucker: wtf hes never brought ME there?
plantastic: honestly so appalled.
AP0LL0: and then we went to a diner for desert
AP0LL0: it was so nice there wasnt even a lot of pauses like we were talking almost the entire time
moth_erfucker: dude, im so happy for you
plantastic: this is literally such gay news
plantastic: GREAT i meant great.
plantastic: im just always so happgay when my friends are happy
plantastic: HAPPY
AP0LL0: LET ME LIVE!!
you have entered the chat “Les Amemes”
johncena: guys my brofriend, feuilly, just fucking put tomato on my grilled cheese
_feuilly_: ITS BETTER FOR YOU!! THERE IS NOTHING WRONG WITH SPICING UP THE TRADITIONAL GRILLED CHEESE
johncena: THERE IS NO POINT IN CHANGING SOMETHING THAT IS ALREADY PERFECT
MariusFucker: ew wtf thats almost as bad as pineapple on pizza
CosetteFucker: THATS NOT WEIRD. ITS LITERALLY CHEESE, TOMATO, AND BREAD
CosetteFucker: DOES THAT SOUND FIMILIAR?? COSETTE?? HMM??
CosetteFucker: KIND OF LIKE???
CosetteFucker: A PIZZA??
_feuilly_: someone is having relationship problems
_feuilly_: and its not me and bahorel
_feuilly_: cuz we good
johncena: WE GOOD
MariusFucker: no were good
CosetteFucker: as good as pinnapple on pizza
MariusFucker has left the conversation
claudemoneY: COURF COURF COURF
courffee: yes
claudemoneY: QUICK YOU NEED TO GET OVER HERE
courffee: WHY
claudemoneY: GET TO MY APARTMENT ASAP
courffee: WHYY
claudemoneY: MY CAT
claudemoneY: GEORGE WASHINGTURNT
claudemoneY: IS GIVING BIRTH