IV
Present Day
If Clarke tries enough she can almost envision what it feels like to wake up next to her again. The events of the previous night replaying in her head. Their moment out on the balcony, the first time she's spoken to her outside of work. It meant everything and yet it was nothing. Clarke's alarm goes off and before she can turn it off Octavia's in her room with what smells like coffee and a not so great look on her face.
"What?"
"Have you checked the headlines today?"
Groaning Clarke reaches over to grab her phone while accepting the cup of coffee from her friend. She unlocks her phone, closing out irrelevant notifications until she sees what Octavia's referring to. A photo of Lexa and Clarke standing on the balcony from last night has somehow surfaced with headlines swirling with rumors of them reconnecting and some even far worse.
"She's going to freak out," Clarke groans again.
"Anya's already on it but she advised simply not addressing it," Octavia says taking a seat next to her friend. "This isn't the worst thing to happen to you guys. Let's just let it blow over, okay?"
Clarke nods as she lays her head in Octavia's lap, holding her tears at bay.
"I want whoever leaked those photos fired," Lexa yells.
"Baby sister, it's done. I've already spoken with Octavia, it's handled. If anything, I should be asking you why you were alone with her."
"That's none of your business," Lexa says turning to face her sister. "I...I didn't know she was there. I needed some fresh air and she was just..."
Lexa takes a seat on the bed...her eyes gazing at anything but Anya as she tries to hide her emotions.
"Love does not make you weak Lexa. Love is what makes you strong and what happened, I know it's still tearing at you inside but I promise you, you'll come back stronger than before."
"What if I don't want to come back from this? What if I'm okay feeling this pain because...Because it's all I'll have left of her."
Anya sighs and begins to play with Lexa's hair, carefully braiding it, "I don't think this is the end, you have the choice of changing the outcome every single day but for now, you let yourself feel what you're feeling and promise yourself that when you're ready to make a change that you will."
Lexa cries but no sound comes out. She wants to believe her sister so much, but the other part of her is telling her not to.
Three Months Earlier
"Hey Lexa, you wanna come grab a drink?" Raven asks as the girls pack up for the day. Lexa had barely dried off from their first kiss scene and she was taken a bit off guard.
"I should really go over my lines," she replies.
"You guys have tomorrow off," Raven quips. "Come on, it'll just be us. We know a little dive bar no one will find you guys."
Lexa hesitates for a moment before Anya cuts in and answers for her, "Text me the details, we'll see you there Reyes."
Anya practically drags Lexa back to her trailer to get her dried off and that's when Lexa decides to speak.
"What the hell Anya? I said no."
"You need to take the stick out and have a little fun Lex."
"I have plenty of fun," the actress pouts as she sheds her wet clothing. "I was going to watch that documentary on sharks tonight..."
Anya rolls her eyes, "Netflix will be there for you tomorrow, but tonight we go out. I need to get laid and you sure as hell do too."
It's only an hour later the Woods sisters find themselves standing outside of Dropship...and honestly it looked more like a drop shit. Raven really wasn't kidding when she said she knew a dive bar. The girls walk in with Lincoln in tow and it wasn't hard to find their friends. Clarke's laughter filled the air and Lexa immediately felt at ease, something her sister is too polite to call her out on.
Octavia's at the bar giving them all a quick hug before ordering a round of shots now that the gang was all there. Clarke's in a trance as she works on sinking the 8 ball and Lexa can't help but notice that there's a familiar looking, floppy-haired boy with a lopsided grin on his face directly next to Clarke trying to distract her. Lexa halts in her tracks causing a very annoyed Anya to bump into her.
"Lex, what the fu-" Anya follows her sister's line of sight and instantly puts her big sister guard up. "Why don't we just go grab another table?"
"We can't do that, you told them we'd be here," Lexa says rather annoyed.
"Well that was before, this is now."
Lexa considers the options, on one hand Octavia's the only one that's seen them and they could easily make up an excuse and leave before everyone else notices. On the other hand, Lexa knows that Anya's been dying for a night out. Before Lexa can answer, a pretty brunette in a simple jeans and t-shirt walks up to Lexa and asks to buy her a drink. Anya happily nudges her along and drags Lincoln to the back of the bar where their friends are.
"Hey guys," Clarke says greeting Anya and Lincoln and it's very noticeable how her eyes wander looking for the third Woods sibling. "I thought Lexa was coming?" she asks.
"She's at the bar," Anya replies rather dryly. Clarke looks towards the bar the best she can under the dim lights and spots Lexa and giggling with a pretty brunette after just taking a shot. Clarke does her best not to let her disappointment show but Anya knows better, so instead, she tests the waters.
"One can only hope she gets laid tonight," Anya snickers as she takes the shot Octavia brings over, noticing the fall of Clarke's expression.
"Don't we all," the floppy-haired boy adds in. "Hi, I'm Finn," he says extending a hand to Anya.
"I'm not concerned," Anya replies and instead racks up a new game of pool beckoning for Lexa and the mystery girl to join her.
"Well then..." Finn says, "Princess, another round?"
"Sure, I'll join you," the Princess walks towards the bar with Finn and is sure to add a little strut as her and Lexa pass each other, their eyes meeting just for a moment.
Raven noticing the awkward interaction leans over to Octavia and whispers, "So that's a thing?"
"That is most definitely a thing," they clink glasses before taking a sip and a slight blush creeps onto Raven's face as Octavia leans over to kiss her on the cheek after.
It's been about an hour or so since the Woods family has been at the bar and not even once have Clarke and Lexa acknowledged each other. The pair somehow have found themselves constantly being in different conversations or purposefully avoiding each other. It isn't until Finn calls winner to the next pool match that the two even interact.
"I'll rack 'em up," Finn says to Lexa, "I'm Finn by the way."
"Charmed," Lexa replies before leaving to head to the washroom.
"Right...So I'm just going to..." Finn quickly racks the table and waits for Lexa to return. In the bathroom Lexa splashes some water onto her face, she's feeling a bit buzzed, which isn't normally her style but for some reason she can't help but want to be anything but coherent around Clarke and Finn.
What a stupid name.
The door to the bathroom opens just as Lexa goes to leave and to her surprise, or both of their surprise, it's Clarke.
"Sorry, I was just leaving," Lexa says barely looking at the girl. She makes her way to leave but Clarke doesn't budge. Instead she shuts the door quickly behind her and locks it.
"Okay, spill."
"Sorry, what?"
Clarke rolls her eyes, "What's your problem?"
Lexa huffs, "What are you talking about?"
"You haven't said a word to me all night," Clarke whispers.
"I could say the same about you. Your friends are the ones that invited us here."
That stings Clarke a bit but the blonde doesn't react. "That doesn't mean you can't acknowledge me."
"You seemed busy," Lexa shrugs, casually leaning against the sink sensing that their conversation is far from over.
"I could say the same about you," Clarke replies with a little more bite.
"Touché."
Lexa smiles and it makes Clarke smile, followed by a pout after she realizes what she's done.
"I'm not with Finn," Clarke says, her eyes locking with her co-star's.
"It's really not my business," Lexa replies still not breaking eye contact.
"You're my friend and as my friend I'm telling you I'm not with him," Clarke continues. "I mean, I was..before, but not now."
"Okay."
Clarke realizes this is going to be harder than she thinks. "So as your friend...Tell me about Ontari."
The gears finally click in Lexa's head and she realizes that the beautiful blonde in front of her is jealous of the random girl, Ontari, who joined them earlier that night.
"Not much to tell. She asked to buy me a drink."
"That's all it takes?" Clarke asks with a bit of a twinkle in her eye.
"I'm sorry Clarke, what are you hoping to gain by this?"
"I want your attention," this makes Lexa's eyes widen slightly. "I want to buy you a drink."
"No one's stopping you," Lexa says as she starts to make her way toward the door, clearly over the conversation.
"She's stopping me," Clarke sighs. "You're sitting there all calm and collective doing that thing you do when you're genuinely having a good time. You know? That slight head tilt and then you laugh...and she's doing that to. How can I -"
Clarke is cut off by the sensation of Lexa's lips on hers. It takes a moment for Clarke to register what's happening but when does, she fully reciprocates.
It isn't weird for either girl to be kissing. When Clarke looks to deepen the kiss, Lexa happily obliges opening her mouth just slightly and when Lexa cups Clarke's neck to bring her closer, Clarke happily steps closer into the other girl's space. It's the most natural thing in the world and they'd both be lying if they said they aren't enjoying it.
The jiggle of the locked door snaps the girls back to reality as they realize they've overstayed their welcome. Lexa turns to the mirror, running a hand through her hair adjusting herself as best as possible. Meanwhile Clarke is still stunned at what just happened and stands looking at Lexa through the mirror, a finger tracing her lips.
"Clarke, we have to go," Lexa says trying to snap the girl out of her gaze.
"Your place or mine?" Clarke asks a sly grin spreading across her face.
"Clarke."
"Lexa," Clarke husks.
"Mine."
Present Day
It's been a week since the photos of Lexa and Clarke were leaked. The tension on set was noticeable but no one dared to say anything. There was a week left of filming, two months off in which Lexa would return to New York leaving everything and everyone behind until the press tour began, by which she planned on fully being over Clarke Griffin.
At least she hopes.
Lexa makes walks onto set donning her usual all black attire. She nods to Monty, the friendly security guard and thanks her assistant who immediately hands her a steaming hot black coffee before she enters her trailer. The brunette takes a seat on her couch and pulls out her phone and without hesitation closing out any notifications from Anya. The girl's finger twitches over her Twitter app, she knows better, she really does but she can't help it. Before she can talk herself out of it, Lexa opens up her app, scrolling to the very top and of course, it's her. The very first tweet she sees and it's far from what she was expecting.
".@PrincessPeach steps out with @FinnCollins. Check out our exclusive photos of Hollywood's latest hot item."
Lexa gulps. The featured photo of the girl she once held at night, her hair done in loose waves, with that bastard's arm wrapped Clarke's waist. Both of them smiling. Laughing.
Lexa didn't realize she was crying until a tear silently slipped onto her phone. At the realization she throws her phone towards the back of the trailer successfully shattering it in the process.
"Lex?" Anya walks in and looks at her sister, aware of her current state. "Lex..."
Lexa didn't want to hear it. She was done hearing it. She was done.
"Anya, tell Indra and Gustus I am under the weather and will need a few days off."
Lexa uses the voice that sends shivers down Anya's spine. The voice that commands and helped her win accolades in her career. Anya nods understanding that there's no fighting the younger girl so she steps aside and lets her sister leave.
"Octavia, what're you doing? We need to get going, we're going to be late," Clarke says bustling through her home trying to get to work on time.
Octavia pops her head up from the couch, "Didn't you see the email from Indra? You have the day off."
"What? How is that possible. We have a week left of filming."
"Nope," Octavia says. "Indra sent an email that your and Lexa's scenes could hold off until the end of the week. They'll be doing a lot of the smaller scenes and such in the meantime."
"Oh, well then I guess I'll go back to bed?" Clarke says, unsure of what to do. She was hoping to see Lexa.
"Also, you and Finn broke the internet," Raven says, her head suddenly popping out beneath Octavia. Clarke's silent.
"I hope you're right about this Rae," Clarke says pouring herself a cup of coffee and taking a seat at the counter facing the girls. "I'm sure Lexa isn't taking this too well..."
"Ow, what the fuck!" Octavia squeals, after Raven pinches her. Clarke looks over at her friends and can't help but notice that Raven seems to be urging Octavia to do something. "She doesn't need to know..." Octavia mutters but Clarke wasn't hearing this.
"Out with it."
"Lexa asked for a few days off from filming," Octavia begins. "Anya texted me...I'm sure she didn't want to but she knows how much Lexa's hurting and..." Clarke's pulse quickens. "Lexa saw the photos of you and Finn and immediately after said she needed a few days off...That's why you have the day off."
Clarke has no idea what to say. Her mind is reeling and the only thing she can think of is to tell Lexa everything. That it's a lie. That she only used Finn to get the rumor mill away from her and focused on her. She didn't want to hurt her, that was the last thing she wanted...
"Clarke? Say something," Raven says suddenly at her side.
"I...I don't know what to do. I thought this would help and...She's hurting so much, I did that. How can I...I'm never going to be able to make this right."
"Maybe you should call her?" Raven suggests and Octavia even shakes her head in disagreement.
"She made it clear," Clarke says gaining more confidence in her voice. Before Clarke can continue a few beeps go off in the room. Octavia apologizes and goes to mute her phone when she sees the notification, the notification she set up on purpose to make sure there wasn't anything on social media that Lexa posts that Clarke would see and misconstrue but this post she couldn't not share.
"Uh guys, you might want to look at this..." Octavia says handing over her phone. Raven and Clarke crowd to see the latest Instagram post from Lexa Woods.
A photograph from the guest room window Clarke spent many nights in over the last few months is shown and immediately her stomach sinks. The room however is different, the curtains are drawn back, showcasing the amazing view Lexa's guest room holds but the walls are bare and what appears to be buckets of paint and a few floor samples can be seen as well. The photo is captioned, "Ready to close this chapter and start anew. I think I'll start with learning to enjoy this view more."
That's when Clarke Griffen knew she'd never win Lexa Woods back.