Chapter 18
Anya was a pacer, Raven learned. She trampled the sparse weeds beneath her feet with every pass, to the point Raven would guess that it would take weeks for them to grow back.
The sailboat circled around the jutting cliff slowly. At an agonizing pace, bit by bit they watched it move across the shimmering waves, finally turning as the sun danced across the horizon, not quite ready to sink below into twilight.
Tris took note first and stood at the edge, arms crossed as she watched the boat pick its way closer and closer. Raven had to admit, the girl cut an impressive silhouette. The sharp angled face she shared with her cousins had a majestic look to it that had Raven staring between the two, feeling gayer by the second.
Aden had signaled the fishing group back to shore and the group hesitantly ate their catch for the day, wondering if this would be their last meal on the island, and under what circumstances they would be leaving.
Raven looked back towards Anya. “So, they’re coming towards us now.”
Anya nodded and turned sharply on her heel, back the other direction. “Yeah,”
“Plan?”
Anya shook her head. “They’ll get closer and we can determine if they’re help or not.”
“Anya, you know they’re not.” Raven hissed from her seat on the ground.
Anya’s glare could set fires. “Don’t say it out loud. We can’t have a panic. This is a chance for diplomacy.”
Raven’s lip curled in a sneer. “Trust me, they don’t do diplomacy.”
“We have to go down every possible path before escalating to a violent confrontation that most -if not all of us- will not survive.”
A sick feeling settled in Raven’s gut as she thought of Maya and the way they had turned on her, the way Raven had let it happen. “We need to stay safe. We need to survive. If we let them get close-“
“Hey, I can kinda make out what the name of the boat is.” Tris called, dropping the binoculars from her face and turning towards them. “Weatherer. Bet it’s supposed to be philosophical.”
“They probably think they’re weathering some storm here yeah, this resort island with all the amenities.” Raven bit back. “They sure know struggle.”
Tris barked a laugh. Raven watched in slow motion as Tris raised the binoculars back to her face, smile still in place, shoulders still shaking in mirth. And in slow motion, her body jerked back with the force of the bullets hitting her chest long before the cracking of gunfire reached their ears.
Raven would never forget that moment. Traces of her laughter still brightened her face as blood stained her shirt. Raven watched the life drain from Tris’s eyes long before she ever hit the ground, knees first and then face down. Blood pooling around her head and shoulders.
People screamed, Raven wasn’t sure who, and Bellamy hauled Aden from the ground and practically threw him into the tree line. “Everybody run! Get out of here! Go!” He boomed, dragging Harper and Monroe through camp and away from gunfire. Chaos descended on camp as people scrambled for the cover of the trees. Others dove to the ground, crawling for their lives. Bellamy was quick to evacuate camp with as many people as he could grab.
Raven was flat on her stomach, still staring at Tris’s body in terror. Anya was screaming, she realized, as Raven turned her head. Anya dove to the ground the moment gunfire rang out, but now she was struggling to crawl to her cousin without putting too much weight on her still injured arm.
Raven grabbed for her. “Anya, stop, we have to go!”
Anya shook her head in a panic, struggling out of Raven’s grip. “Ai seken!” Her voice broke, and Raven struggled to keep her own heart from ripping itself from her chest. “Ai strisis! Ai nou na ban em op! Beja, Tris!”
Raven dragged herself up and kept her arms around Anya’s shoulders, pinning her to the ground, safer from the continuous spray of bullets, but still in danger of crawling directly into their line of fire. “Anya, listen to me. If we get any closer both of us are dead, do you hear me?”
Anya shoved Raven, hard, from her back. “I’m not leaving her.”
Raven grappled with the older girl again, finally successfully pinning Anya to the ground on her stomach. “Tris is gone.” Raven’s voice cracked. “You can’t just leave Lexa alone like that, can you?”
Anya let out a pitiful little sob. “I need to protect her.”
Raven pressed her forehead to the base of Anya’s neck, letting a few tears escape. “She’s gone. You need to be around to protect us, and Lexa.”
Anya nodded and Raven rolled off of her. The gunfire stopped for a few moments, so they took their opportunity to run to safety, well, Raven hobbled, but Anya never left her side. They said nothing as they ventured deeper into the forest and away from their camp.
Night fell quickly, and despite her breach of stoicism, Anya was stone-faced and silent for hours before they finally stopped to rest. Raven didn’t know what to say. “Hey yeah, the cousin you were obviously close with is dead, but I don’t exactly know how to start a fire with just two pieces of wood, do you mind?” Yeah, that would be a shitty decision. Raven kept silent and still and watched as Anya worked mechanically, she just wanted to help, and if that meant ignoring sniffles and hands that touched her face more frequently than necessary, Raven would do it.
“We’ll need to round the group back up.” Raven started as they sat, huddling over a fire perhaps too small for the both of them.
Anya nodded.
“Maybe we should go back to the wreckage. At least there’s shelter there.”
Anya nodded.
“How will we signal to Clarke and Lexa what happened? Leave a note? I don’t think we should get any closer to camp, and there’s no telling which path they’ll take back. Maybe mark the trees with arrows?”
Anya nodded.
“Anya,”
She nodded again. Raven rubbed at her face with a sigh. “I’m not gonna ask anything stupid like, ‘are you okay,’ because you’re not and I’m not in the mood for transparent lies, but do you need to talk about it or something? I’m sorry for what it’s worth, which I’m sure is nothing, but whatever hollow comfort, you know?” She rambled until Anya slowly met her eyes over the fire.
“What if they’re gone?”
“Huh?”
“Clarke and Lexa. What if they’re dead too? Maybe they caught us spying, said ‘hey, they’re organized, we should probably fuck that up real quick.’” Anya spat. “What’s the fucking point, Raven?”
Raven blinked. “To get back home.”
“For what, huh? What’s the point? I’d rather die here with my cousins than live a lonely life back home, maybe succumb early to alcoholism if I’m lucky. Die here, die there, at least my dad’s bumper sticker that says: ‘camp or die trying’ makes for a disgusting irony.” Anya huffed with the effort of her rant.
Raven raised her eyebrows. “You done?”
Anya scowled, her eyes dropped from Raven’s face back to the fire and she nodded, almost meekly, as meek as Anya got. “Yeah,”
Raven crossed her arms. “Here’s what’s going to happen. You’re going to mourn, healthily, might I add, and we’re going to get off this godforsaken island. You’re going to realize that shit, even without your two cousins you still have a family that love and care for you. You’re going to realize that in lieu of your real-life friends, you have an asshole Latina with a limp willing to help you through this. It’s probably not enough, but let’s face it, it’ll have to be until it is.”
Anya blinked away the tears threatening to spill over her cheeks. “I can’t live without them.”
“Yes, you can.” Raven shrugged. “It’s hard and it hurts. Someone once told me that: ‘it’s easier said than done. But you’re strong. Don’t pussy out now.’”
Anya’s lips lifted in the smallest of smiles. “They sound like a jackass.”
Raven grinned. “Oh, they are.”
Anya’s smile fell soon after, and she took a shuddering breath. “It doesn’t feel real.” She finally let the tears fall. “I can’t keep the image from my head but- fuck- it doesn’t feel real. Nothing on this goddamn island feels real.” Anya looked genuinely lost as she searched for something in Raven’s eyes. “How am I supposed to mourn when it feels like she could walk through the brush any minute now?”
Raven was at a loss. There was no right answer, she knew that, but Anya needed a friend. “I don’t know.”
Anya shuddered, letting the agony wash over her in waves. Raven sat in silence as Anya struggled through composing herself. “You’re an ugly crier.” She murmured, moving to sit next to Anya and pulling her in for a hug. “C’mere.”
It was the straw that broke the camel’s back. The floodgates opened and Anya openly sobbed into Raven’s shoulder and her shirt quickly soaked through. Raven would be lying if she said that she hadn’t shed a few tears, but it wasn’t the time to break down. Was there such thing as getting used to death? Raven sincerely hoped that there wasn’t. She couldn’t imagine being that broken.
Raven was too distracted by her own thoughts to notice the way Anya’s shivering had stopped, how she sagged, exhausted and propped up on Raven’s shoulder. Raven shifted her body so that Anya’s head laid across her lap and settled in for a long night. “Guess I’ll take the first watch shift.” Raven muttered to herself, resting her hand across Anya’s cheek.