Chapter 13
When they sat about the bonfire long after the sun had set and the cloud had dissipated further to the south of the island, most of the survivors claimed not to have an appetite. But once Lexa, Tris, Murphy, and Emori had finished gutting and scaling the fish and cooked them on a large panel of metal over the fire, not a single ounce of food was leftover.
Clarke wasn’t full by any means, several days of rigorous exercise with literally no food at all left its mark. Her clothes hung off her body and she had already lost plenty of weight, but the meager dinner did wonders for her mood and her body. Even despite the knowledge that a nuclear bomb had dropped somewhere nearby and that likely they would have to find some way to survive the fallout with no shelter, Clarke was oddly optimistic.
Of course, she was just about the only one. Abby, Monroe, and the injured were quiet and brooding over their lost patient. Octavia and Bellamy were separated as far as physically possible but still close enough to the fire to stay warm while Miller and Kane withdrew on themselves and mourned over the loss of two of their group’s members. Lexa, Tris, and Monty were busy building a pyre for the two new bodies. Raven, Anya, and Clarke moved to help.
“No, you two sit down.” Clarke demanded as both women groaned nearly simultaneously.
“I’m not some cripple Griffin.” Raven sassed. “I just lost my job. I need something to do.”
Clarke shook her head. “You’ll rip your stitches.” She turned to Anya. “And you’ll open up that wound again and risk infection. You saw what will happen if you get that wound infected. You’ll die even faster, actually.”
Anya grunted. “I can still help. I won’t move this arm.”
Clarke glared. “No. Until that wound is mostly healed, you need to sit out and rest.”
Anya rolled her eyes and took a seat to watch her cousins work. Raven crossed her arms and took a seat next to her, glaring at Clarke like she’d kicked her puppy.
While the four built the pyre, Clarke could hear Anya and Raven grumble and bicker back and forth, and she hoped it was good natured. Anya was terrifying, to be frank, but Raven was a spitfire. The two in an argument or, god forbid, a physical fight, Clarke wasn’t sure who would win. Bones would break, blood would flow, mouths would froth. No, best to avoid that outcome.
“I’m going to remove Bellamy from Murphy’s group.” Lexa told Clarke as she placed more twigs and branches across Jasper’s chest. “Best to keep them away from each other. He’ll go with Kane and Miller to collect water. I’m going to take Aden off that group and keep him with me. I don’t want him having to walk by the cliffs his mother fell from multiple times the day after she died. It’s downright cruel.”
Clarke nodded. “I can’t imagine how he must feel. Alone and scared here.”
Lexa shook her head. “He’s not alone. I’m going to make sure of that.” She clenched her jaw. “He’s getting off this island and to his family. I’ll take him on as my seken if I have to. But he’s going to get through this.”
Clarke smiled. “I’m glad. He’ll respond better to you anyway. He’s rather taken with you.”
Lexa hid her smile by turning away. “Don’t know why, but he needs someone. Might as well be me.”
“Well, I think Harper is just about to be given the all clear by my mother. She should take it easy, stretch as much as possible, but her hip has been relocated and had some time to heal. She won’t be able to run for a little while, but she can work.” Clarke said with a sigh.
“How long until Anya is ready to work?”
“Don’t tell her this, because she’ll assume she’s fine now, but I think if we give her a couple of more days, she’ll be well enough to hunt. Like Harper, she’ll need to take it easy and not jerk or stretch that arm, because it could tear the scab and start bleeding anew, but it’s healing nicely.” Clarke shrugged.
“She’ll be proud of the scar.” Lexa smirked. “Anya is a bit on the strange side.”
“A bit?” Clarke teased before her smile dropped from her face. “What are you going to do about Murphy? You can’t just let him get away with killing Jasper.”
Lexa shrugged one shoulder. “I don’t know. What can I do? Tell him he can’t eat? He was in the fishing group and helped catch the food. I can’t take away water, that’d be inhumane. Lashes?”
Clarke furrowed her brows. “Absolutely not. We’re not animals, Lexa. We’re not going to beat people who don’t follow us.”
Lexa shook her head. “Jasper’s friends are going to demand justice. But there’s nothing I can do that isn’t harsh.”
Clarke pursed her lips. “What if we banished him?”
Lexa looked at Clarke levelly. “He’ll die.”
“He did kill someone.”
“Who tried to have him killed.”
“What was the line? ‘Nice motive, still murder’?” Clarke rebutted.
Lexa stopped arranging the piles of kindle and stared at Clarke, watching her, observing her every move. Clarke felt like her very soul was being read and judged. “Would that make us any better than him? We’d be sentencing him to guaranteed death, or worse, capture and torture by infamous terrorists that have no qualms killing.”
Clarke huffed in frustration. “Well, what can we do?”
Lexa stared at her hands. “We have a trial. Murphy will get the chance to explain himself and call people to his defense. Then we ask the jury to decide if he should be punished and how.”
Clarke nodded. “That sounds like the best plan of action. Feels more like we’re just putting it off. You know they’ll find him guilty.”
Lexa gave Clarke a rueful smile. “Of course, but we have other things to worry about. Aden’s lost his mother, we have two bodies to burn, and the radio is a lost cause, according to Raven.” Lexa stepped back from their finished pyre. “Then there’s the matter of those terrorists.”
“We’ll figure that out after the funeral.” Clarke patted Lexa’s shoulder.
Lexa smiled a genuinely thankful smile before she moved to the other survivors, telling them that the pyre was ready, and that if anyone wished to pay their respects, they would be lighting it soon.
As they stood around the bonfire, ignoring the smell of burning flesh, Clarke looked about the circle, counting how many people were left. Only nineteen survivors.
The last few days, Clarke had become intimately familiar with her own mortality, nearly dying does that sort of thing to a person. But seeing people die left and right, nearly every day, people she’s met and talked with and known, if only barely, it’s taking a toll on her soul. Finding her mother and Raven alive and mostly in one piece gave her some relief, but followed immediately by losing three people in one day, Clarke was tired. She could imagine Lexa felt the same. Many of the people lost were teammates of hers, people she knew very well. Both of them were just lucky so far to have survived with the people they loved most thus far.
“Tomorrow, we will hold a jury trial. Murphy will explain himself and we will decide the consequences of his actions as a group.” Lexa spoke with conviction, just daring someone to speak out against her. “Murphy, I understand he tried to have you killed, but we cannot permit violence in response to violence. Especially not now. I cannot stress enough how important unity and support is to our survival.” Lexa sent a sharp glare towards Bellamy. “We’re going to get off this island. It’s our only option.” Lexa’s eyes roamed around the pyre, lingering on Clarke, and then moving to Aden. “We’ve lost three people today. One to infection, one to murder, and one to an unfortunate accident. To those of you who have not heard, Aden’s mother fell from the cliffs on her way back from the waterfalls with fresh water. This leaves the water fetching group two people short. So, I’m moving Bellamy from the fishing group to the water group and away from Murphy. Aden,” The boy had tears streaming down his face, but he set his jaw at the sound of his name. “I’m taking you off the water group.” Lexa’s gaze softened. “You don’t have to go back there if you don’t want to.”
Aden gaped at her, tears falling anew as he nodded gratefully. “Thank you, Lexa.”
Lexa gave him a hesitant smile. “Of course.” Lexa turned back to the rest of the group. “Harper, I’ve been told you’re good to go?”
Harper looked up at her and nodded shyly. “Um, yeah.”
Lexa nodded once. “You’ll help Abby, Monroe, and Clarke with the injured and the rest of the little chores around camp. You may no longer be bedridden, but it’s probably best you don’t strain yourself too much.” Harper nodded eagerly as Lexa moved on. “Tris and I have found some nearby fruits that are edible, so tomorrow morning we’ll bring back breakfast with some fruits. Hopefully with something other than meat and fish, we’ll be able to stay healthy and alive long enough to get back to civilization.”
Lexa was met with silence, but she showed no discouragement. “Raven, if the radio is useless, how can we gain contact with the outside world?” Lexa turned to the young mechanic.
Raven sighed, rubbing her temples with her fingers. “The problem isn’t us, it’s the people we’d be contacting. Where the bomb went off is likely the nearest island, and therefore there should be a ship route within a few dozen clicks. The problem isn’t the bomb or the radiation, it’s the EMP wave that can travel for miles away from the blast site. It fries pretty much anything with a circuit board. Phones, computers, certain radios, certain cars, certain boats, entire power grids. Anything we’d try to get into contact with is dead.” Raven shrugged. “We’re just lucky that the wind blows southbound, which means the fallout will avoid us.”
“At least there’s that.” Anya drawled sarcastically from her spot next to Raven, earning herself a nudge in the ribs.
Clarke had to hide her smirk. It seemed not everyone in their crew enjoyed gallows humor the way Clarke and Raven did, but at least Anya got along with Raven well. “Anyway, everyone is going to be focused on the bomb site. Which means no one is looking for us anymore. All of those computers and cell phones we built the radio out of? Dead. So really we’re stuck writing giant letters in the sand.”
Clarke could physically feel the tension of the group rise. She could feel the panic and hysteria rise. “Raven, there has to be something-“
“If our tech has been fried then what does that mean for Dante?” Lexa interrupted, gaze piercing and body stiff. Clarke knew she did this on purpose, but she was comforted by Lexa’s strength. At least one person had control.
Raven shrugged. “Unless they stored those drones and everything in large lead boxes, everything is dead.”
“The guns?”
“They’ll still work.”
“Why haven’t they just sent people out to shoot us?” Lexa furrowed her brows.
Abby piped up this time. “They’re supposedly pacifists.” She paused for the sardonic laughter that echoed around the pyre. “They just got the shipment of guns the day we escaped. But they claim the forest is impossible to traverse.”
Lexa furrowed her brows and looked to Anya. Anya nodded once. “They’re an untrained mercenary group then.” Anya murmured. “Their priority is to get trained.”
“Yeah they couldn’t shoot for shit.” Raven smirked. “Didn’t hit a single one of us.”
Anya snorted. “Yeah, so they’re going to pull back briefly to train up. But it doesn’t take long. I mean, point and shoot. Hopefully they lost the drones though. But once they figure out that the forest can be traversed, we’re dead.”
Lexa sighed. “We’ll find our way off this damn island one way or another. For now, we should rest. It’s late.”
Clarke knew it was dangerous to let the group go to bed so scared and so lost, but they really didn’t have a choice. There was only so much hopelessness and fear they could combat at one time before it got to them too.
That night, it was Lexa that curled up closer to Clarke, limbs tucked into herself and forehead resting on her back. Clarke suppressed the shiver that ran down her spine when her warm breath spanned across the nape of her neck. “We have to fight those terrorists if we want any hope of survival.” Clarke whispered, shifting only barely backwards, closer to Lexa.
“With a handgun and five bullets.”
“Raven could launch rockets with a four function calculator.” Clarke tried to smile.
Lexa’s chuckle was about as weak as Clarke’s smile. “We don’t have any calculators. Besides, evidently they won’t work anyway.”
Clarke rolled to her other side, their noses just barely brushing. Lexa was too close, too close to be appropriate, but Clarke wouldn’t talk about if Lexa wouldn’t. “We don’t have a choice.” She whispered, ignoring the way Lexa’s breath mingled with her own. “They have ways off the island, we don’t. They’re not going to stop trying to kill us, we already know too much.”
Lexa gave her a sad half smile. “I know. It’s suicide.”
“So we wait for our deaths instead?”
Lexa closed her eyes, a frown marring her features. “Either we die here when they come for us, or die trying to fight them.”
Clarke found her hand in the dark. “I’d rather die in a struggle to survive than die like cattle.”
“Looks like we have our plan then.” Lexa whispered, opening her eyes again. “We’ll work on the details tomorrow. Let’s get some rest.”
Clarke nodded. She scooted ever closer, finding a comfortable position curled up with Lexa, still holding her hand. Clarke didn’t remember when sleeping so close to Lexa had become habitual, if not routine, but she liked the closeness, the warmth of her body, the sound of her breathing, it calmed her to have something alive and human and familiar (enough) so close in a place where she felt so vulnerable.
Lexa certainly wasn’t complaining.
“What the hell is this?” Raven cackled, smirking down at the mess in front of her.
Anya laughed alongside her. “Lexa’s a gay mess and evidently Clarke is there for it.” The two girls were tangled and cuddled around each other, fast asleep.
And Raven couldn’t be more excited or amused.
See, it was Raven’s duty as Clarke’s best friend to tease her mercilessly, and this just gave her all the fuel she needed. “They’re never living this down.”
“Hell no.” Anya snorted. “Hey, hakhodnes goufa. Wake up!” She jabbed Lexa’s side with her foot.
Raven laughed. “What does that mean?”
Anya leaned closer so as to avoid Lexa’s groggy glare. “It means ‘lovesick child’.”
Raven smirked. “I’m using that.”
“Please do.”
“Perfect.” Raven winked. “C’mon, we’ve got shit to do!”
“Shut up, Raven.” Clarke grumbled as she slowly stumbled to her feet, with some help from Lexa.
“What a gentlewoman.” Anya pestered Lexa as she finally stood to her full height.
“Yu ste presh raunon, Anya. If you weren’t injured, I’d kick your ass.”
Anya scoffed. “Please, I taught you everything you know.”
Lexa smirked. “Nontu taught me much more than you know.”
Raven watched the verbal tennis match with rapt attention, but Clarke was evidently having none of it. “Anyway, you two. We have important things to do today, so stop your bickering, we have to get going.”
“Hey, you were the one all cuddled up with hearteyes over here.” Raven snarked, unable to contain her laughter. “But you’re right, Murphy and Bellamy are at each other’s throats.”
Clarke groaned. “Again?” She rushed off towards the two men before Raven could talk any further.
“That happens frequently?” Raven yelped, following the blonde.
It took an hour to get everyone rounded up and prepared for the trial. Lexa and Tris had gathered up breakfast, and Lexa forced Murphy up on a larger boulder so that he sat above everyone else. Lexa stood to his side and glowered at everyone as they sat before her, ready to hear what Murphy had to say.
Raven wasn’t sure what to do, she didn’t know these people. She knew Clarke, she knew Abby, she had a strange sort of friendship with Anya over their injuries and friends, but Murphy? Bellamy? She didn’t know them. She had no idea who Jasper was, or what he had done, and the whole confession last night between Bellamy and Octavia? That was awkward.
But just about everyone else, they were much more hostile towards Murphy.
“There are nineteen of us.” Lexa began, leaning against the boulder with her arms crossed. “Nineteen. We all know our survival situation, is kind of shit. And so, infighting needs to be dealt with immediately and seriously.” She paused to allow her words to sink in. “From the very beginning Murphy and Jasper had clashed. The first morning on the beach they were brawling in the sand.”
“He had two other-“ Murphy interrupted. Lexa stopped him with a single raised hand.
“Quiet.” Raven raised her eyebrows. Lexa had nearly complete control over everyone here. “It is my understanding that it was Jasper’s intent to split our camp against Bellamy through blackmail and threats. Part of that plan included Murphy’s distrust of Bellamy.” Her words echoed across the small crowd. “We’re holding this trial to determine how best to deal with the murder of Jasper.”
Lexa allowed for the inevitable grumbling, but only just a moment. “Jasper was killed following the revelation that he had set up Murphy to be killed, or at least severely hurt, by Bellamy in order to prevent information regarding Bellamy’s past to come to light. All of this is fact, and I appreciate the separation of emotions before you come to your conclusions. We’re not savages. Murphy will have the opportunity to defend himself and make his case, I will have Bellamy explain himself, and then we will decide together, as a group, if and how Murphy will be punished.”
Raven shifted as the tension and hostility of the people around her amped up.
“Once Murphy has made his argument, I will allow for others to make their own statements and arguments. Murphy will have an opportunity to dispute them, but then once everything has been said, we will vote his innocence or guilt, and then we will discuss punishment if need be.”
Raven’s stomach churned as the group murmured their assent.