two hours

Fujino was walking around the kitchen mindlessly, not even noticing how giddy she looked smiling on the phone. "So, what's--"

"Explain everything, n-now." Kyomoto said, kind of sternly. "If it's too much over the phone, then w-we can meet up tomorrow."

Taken aback, she thought hard about the decision. Should she explain it over phone, or find an excuse to see her in person. "Uhhnn.." She closed her eyes, thinking of all the possible solutions and interactions they could have with either option. She really shouldn't be trying to find her pleasure within all this, but of course she can't help it sometimes. "Not right now...I'm in a situation." She murmured.

Nodding, (forgetting she's on the phone) Kyomoto said, "Okay, tomorrow...then."

"When and where?"

"Just anywhere, ho-honestly." She was clicking her mechanical pencil, sketching a faint image of scenery outside of her window. "Maybe the park near my place? You do remember, right?" Her voice was muffled, mostly due to her tongue sticking from the side of her mouth.

Thinking about it, Fujino agreed. "Of course, and 'Ight, that's okay."

"And you owe me an apology."

"Awh, wasn't saving your life enough of one?" Fujino teased genuinely, tilting her head against the phone. She was sitting down again and kicking her feet gently.

Kyomoto found herself smiling gently. "Okay, you're right, b-but still."

"Nah, I was joking, don't worry."

"Joking back then?"

"No," she said stupidly. "Wait, I mean that I meant it," still being stupid, "but it wasn't true." Fujino bit her tongue after this, letting the faint static fill the silence instead of her stupid words. This never works out for her. She sighed silently.

The silence stayed around way too long. "What do you mean?"

"Hard to explain, but I was just being a jerk." The words felt sickly coming from her mouth. She'd rarely ever admit this to anyone, but something felt so mandatory about telling Kyo the truth. "It's hard to explain, but just know that you're capable."

She stared at the screen, listening to Fujino attentively. Her face was slowly growing warm, as well as her eyes widening.

"You're capable, you're amazing - and," Now she was reaching the limits (she unknowingly set herself). "Well, yeah. I was just spewing out nonsense," she chuckled lightly, wanting to rip out her oesophagus, alongside her larynx. Wow, she finally managed to admit the truth. Well, the 3/4 of a truth. Now she should tell her that it was just because she loved her so much and didn't wanna leave her and that she wants her all to herself and is to selfish and possessive and also bad at communicating to just say so in simpler terms! (no matter how exaggerated. Though, she might truly feel this way deep, deep down)

Though, she won't.

Pleased, Kyomoto began laughing softly. "Really?"

"Really, totally even!" Fujino's own face began getting warm. "And I'm happy my stupidity didn't stop you from pursuing your dreams."

"Really...?" Kyomoto became more serious, wishing she could see Fujino's expression and see how she truly felt behind the screen.

This just made Fujino smiled harder, though the latter was becoming less playful about it. "Yeah, I mean it."

Unsure on what to say, Kyomoto cleared her throat. "Well, uh, let's get back on topic. What time?"

Ouch. For some reason, that plain dismissal really ticked Fujino. "Oh. Well, any." Her voice slipped into a mutter.

"1pm then, since I'm staying up late."

"Why?"

"Homework." She clicked her mechanical pencil further, the scratches against paper becoming loud across the phone. "So, see you."

"I do--" Fujino yelped, not prepared for how sudden she tried to leave the call. "I don't think I know how to explain this, honestly.

A hum emitted from Fujino's phone. "Well, I don't expect much. Maybe it really was a vision."

"Yeah."

"Still," Kyomoto adjusted her position on her chair, bending in an awkward position. "You need to try."

Fujino placed her phone closer to her mouth. "Is this just an excuse to see me?"

With no viable reaction, Kyomoto just huffed in a flustered manner. "What? No, you saved my life in a pretty a-absurd way, so we need to talk."

"Not really," She was standing up again, well bending down, looking at her reflection through the dark oven glass. She really needed to cut her hair, she thought whilst running her hand through split ends. "Maybe this is your elaborate plan, huh?"

Kyomoto slammed her sketchbook shut instantly. "Go-goodnight, Fujino."

And she cut the call at that.

Fujino was in utter shock. Did she push her too far? Shoot, she shouldn't have been so bold, she should have stopped. She laid on the cold kitchen floor, and everything was hitting at full speed. All of the contents of today. She took a deep breath. Exhaled. Inhaled. Exhaled again. Lost count.
"Get a grip," she huffed to herself, wrapping her arms around herself and rolling around, trying to lose all of these nerves. It was just late, and she already wanted to leave the call anyway. It wasn't her fault, well, this is. Maybe if she tried harder to convince her to stay, maybe if she didn't push her away and act like she didn't care.

When she cared. She really, really cared. And still does, so why...

Why....

She abruptly gnawing at her bottom lip, on the verge of crying. She cared so much for somebody, but as soon as that all mattered, she forced them out of her life.

"Why did I do that?" she whispered dazedly, staring at the ceiling and avoiding the light piercing into her eyes. She scoffed, rolling onto her side and staring at the chair legs.

She's back, atleast for now, so she should savour this joy. Why's she making something worth celebrating so negative?

Why can't a good thing be a good thing.
Fujino wiped her damp face, still rolling on the floor like a spoiled toddler being told no.

***

Staring at her small, heart shaped mirror, she lousily applied lip gloss on. This was unusual, since she'd easily go anywhere looking like she was dragged on the floor. Today felt special, and if she didn't spend money on drawing material she'd even buy new clothes.
A shiver runs down her spine as she stared at the mirror. In that reality, she'd be unable to get out of bed, still paralysed in shock.

Surrounded by piles of dirty tissues, stained with thick, salty tears. Her face streaked with the same liquid, red and puffy eyes. It felt like she could never stand up, it being the last thing on her mind. The only thing that willed her to do so was to announce her hiatus.

It's weird, waking up to the complete opposite.

And when she woke up, she was surprised she woke up in the same reality as yesterday. Apparently. She only figured it out when she frantically messaged Kyomoto an hour before - and when it took longer than 10 minutes to get a respond she wasn't able to stop staring at her phone screen desperately as she sat on her bedroom floor.

"Kyomoto, it's still 1pm right?" She sent

Only the sheer-will power she had kept her from repeatedly messaging, calling even. If she did happen to still be here, then she'd just seem like a crazy, lovelorn freak. Which she totally isn't....right?

"Yeah."

Once the message came through, she finally took a deep exhale, falling onto her floor and cuddling her phone to her chest. After turning it off, though, since she feared she'd somehow send a love confession.
At the same time she felt like squealing at such a mundane response. Better then a "Yes." or "Mhm.", so there's that.
So Fujino rolled around and jumped about, nearly breaking the darn phone.

Finally she got out through the door, zipping up her hoodie and quickly glancing at her compact mirror. Well, she looked as fine as fine gets. Now she had to focus on keeping her eyes glued onto the floor, making sure she didn't accidentally stare at anyone.
Did she lock the door? Shoot, she should go back and check.
Yep, locked.

Did she forget something? No, she didn't.

Then why did she feel so, incomplete? Like something had to be missing, or lost.

She gulped. Nerves, probably. I mean, she was restless. Her hands were twitching in her pockets, wait, when did she even put them there? Never mind that...
The feeling of cold air hitting her face was odd, no matter how much she'd drag herself to work. Though, staying at home like this was just as foreign to her before it all.

Why was she still thinking about that? Kyomoto's alive, for goodness sake. Why did she still feel like she had to save her? Why did she feel so far away...

"Fujino."

A crisp voice cut through the train of thoughts, and that train crashed right into the walls of her head. "Kyomoto!"
She shouldn't have exclaimed it like that - now she looked like she was anticipating their meet up.

That idea was evident in Kyomoto's face. She took a long second to process what Kyomoto was wearing. It was... beautiful. I mean, it was basic, but to Fujino it felt so much more than simple. Maybe it was the person wearing it that really illuminated it's depth.
It was just a off-white polo shirt and baggy grey jeans. With a black hoodie on-top, since damn it was cold.

Now she felt slightly insecure in her grey sweater, flared black jeans. She seemed like she just fell into her closet and wrestled into whatever was nearest.

Wait. How long was she walking for? She quickly looked around and when she realised she had walked ALL the way to the area near the park, she gulped.

Then she remembered Kyomoto was...expecting a response?

"I didn't even notice.." she murmured.

This caught the latter off guard. "Huh?"

"Oh-" she spluttered, scratching the back of her neck. "Nothing! Let's just get t-to the park."

Rather skeptical, Kyomoto slowly nodded, leading Fujino towards the park, hands stuck to her sides as she moved awkwardly.

***

The park was so serene, the grass idly swaying by the will of the wind. If she was here by herself, Fujino could easily sleep here. Just watching the lifeless yet lively plants move about, creating a more obvious sense of beauty. It was in the shape of a circle, formed around the twinkling fountain in the middle, with the plants also circling around it.
Kyomoto and Fujino sat with each other (with slight space between) on a bench right in front of the fountain, both of them pretty enchanted by the trickling water.

"So," Kyomoto cleared her throat, though she didn't sound that confident. "Explain."

Fujino was way more confident.

Because she had already crafted a lie.

She just had to think back about it, maybe re-fine it on the way. "Well, basically," She started, fumbling with her fingers per usual.
"Wait," something clicked. Why should she lie, she should just tell her the truth, shouldn't she?

If she figured out she was lying, or there was some holes in her story as things finally settled... they'd go back to square one.

Obviously out of the loop, Kyomoto tilted her head. "What's wrong."

"I don't know how to tell you this," Fujino sighed, head in hands. She peeled her face away from her palms, looking at Kyomoto with subtle desperation. "Since you wouldn't believe me, rightfully so, but.."

"I-i don't know what you're gonna tell me, but I'll trust you."

Smiling nervously, Fujino sighs. "I mean, sure, but you'll no doubt find it bizarre."

"You're not that n-normal to begin with." Kyomoto says playfully, which makes Fujino's heart nearly explode. It's felt like years since she heard that tender tone

To calm her out of control nerves, she just burst into laugther. "Okay," she hums, nodding quickly. "You got me there, but still." Her joy fades into the bitter realisation that she'd have to say something soon.
"Uhhnn, let's just round it down- I just knew something would happen, like a bad feeling."

She got a very unconvinced look in response. "I know, it sounds very rounded down. But trust me, I just knew. There's nothing particularly special a-about it,"
Yeah, sure.
"It's like-"

"Deja vu?" Damn. That was such a bullseye, she had nothing to say. "No, that's the wrong f-feeling, s-sorry." Kyomoto squeaked, becoming embarasssed. Well, she can't say she isn't right in some twisted way.

She just can't tell her so. "Well, it's more like intuition." Fujino murmured, subconsciously playing with her ridiculously thin hair. Kyomoto seems pretty content with this answer already, maybe it's due to how tired she was from all her apparent studying. "I'd explain it further, but I'm 100 percent sure it'll only make things worse."

Her eyes glisten for a second, locking into Fujino's. "Make what worse?"

"This whole situation," Weirdly, Fujino outbursts. "Everything, I- just want things to be better."

Kyomoto's heart is beating rapidly, and she's weirdly scared rather than excited. She should be excited, right? They're on the same page on this, wanting things to resolve, reconcile even.
But somehow it feels their reading different stories, stories lost in translation. "I know that."

"How could you?" She smiles, no matter how malicious it feels it's still a smile. "You could easily assume that I'm just trying to slither back into your life and be controlling all over again."

Stop. Fujino thinks to herself. Why is she just making things worse? Why is she being aggressive when all she wants is a resolution? Why is she like this? Just, shut up.

Kyomoto's confused again. "Wha...what do you even want?" She says, rather boldly considering her personality. "Y-you say you want things to get better, but then your assuming- why n-not just...let me speak? Say how I feel, not what you think I d-do."

Now she's just repeating history, even though Kyomoto might not even think so. "I-....I'm sorry."

"Really?"

"Yeah, It's just," she sighs loudly, shaking her head. "This whole thing is fucked up."

"Tell me about it," Just this phrase makes Fujino realise something important about Kyomoto. She stares up at her, and analyses her, searches her expression.
Somehow, she just has a box of juice out again. Apple juice. As she breathes after taking a sip, she says, "My old friend ra-randomly saves my life, and has no way of explaining it to me." Kyomoto sips again. "A-and is acting pretty weir-..weird."

Fujino laughs softly. "I save my old friend's life, and she's still not gratefully." She tilts her head, locking eyes with Kyomoto again with a gentle expression.

The juice nearly spurts out of her nose. "Shit, d-do...don't do tha-that." Kyomoto stares away immediately. "That's creepy." She lies shamelessly, trying to recover from her reaction. If creepy means hot to her, so be it.

Hurt, the latter gasps. "Creepy?" She feigns offense. "They lied when they said distance makes the heart grow fonder." A playful frown appears on her face as she continues to stare down Kyomoto.

"Why w-would you of all people believe that?" Kyomoto says matter-of-factly, before just bursting into a similar laughter to Fujino.

Feeling at ease, Fujino joins her in laughter.

"We're so abnormal."

Kyomoto sips for pretty longer, still avoiding eye contact. "You're lucky y-you had a reason to be obscure ab-about your explanation.."

"You're lucky you had a reason to see me." A surge of weird confidence flutters in Fujino's heart.

They stare at each other intently for what feels like minutes, hours in Fujino's mind, just in silence. The air grows thick with something vague, yet a feeling they know too well. A feeling wavering through their minds late at night, early in the morning. A feeling they'd never admit to, but could also never help but indulge with.

Before Kyomoto could say anything, could defend herself, Fujino stood up with a heavy exhale. "Well, that's it." Which was out of character, for the one who'd normally grasp at the crumbs of affection or attention she'd get.
Something told her that she shouldn't push it to far.

But like always, she was still pushing something away.

With a slightly open mouth, Kyomoto stared at Fujino's quick goodbye. She waved, though it wasn't detected as the girl was already walking away, hands in her pockets.
A gust of wind blew Fujino's messy hair, bound by a rather loose hairband.

Why was she craving more? She was the one who initially kept a distance, out of fear yes, but she should have known.
Deep down, she should have understood Fujino and her intentions, as dubious as they were. So why was she pulling herself so out of it, even though she'd been hoping, dreaming even, that this day would come.

She clenched her jaw, before sighing shakily. She'd been holding her breath the whole time, but watching Fujino slowly fade out of view made it easier to breath.

But she didn't want it to be easier. Maybe she wanted to go insane, as long as she was...

"Fujino!" She yelled, her throat screaming for her to calm down.

It was to no avail, the nerve-wracked girl was trying to run as far as she could without running. She didn't want to disrupt Kyomoto's life anymore, as much as she wanted to deep down. She wanted to be with her every second, annoy her, play around with her. Mkae her smile, laugh. Cry, out of joy of course. She wanted her to feel everything.
But she stopped. Since the last thing she wanted was to make her feel sad due to her presence alone.

Kyomoto was breathing heavily. To make it worse, she ran.

She ran like not even the end of the world could stop her.

Even if the world ended right now, and danger was ahead, she'd continue.

"Fujino!" She shouted even louder, choking silently. "Fuj-Fujino!..."

She spluttered, bent over and hands on her knees. They shivered against the chilly weather - she really should have brought some gloves.

Slowly she looked up, still gasping for air. This really is it, huh? She knew if she didn't confront the feelings now, she'd never have the guts

Her eyes widened. "Kyomoto?" Fujino was trailing back, a confused look on her face. "A-..are you okay?"

"N-no," she murmured sheepishly, stepping back as Fujino came closer. Isn't this what you want..? She thought, causing her to stop trying to run away. "A-ah, I just wanted to say-"

Fujino scratched her neck. "What?" she said, not impatiently, but more with concern. She tried to ignore mentioning the slight pink dusting Kyomoto's cheek, since her struggle to express herself was already evident.

"I-..." She coughed, trying to hide her face. "I hope this isn't it..."

Fujino couldn't resist the sickening smile appearing on her face. "Did you miss me that much?" She settled for a simple smirk.

"Of c-course I did!" Kyomoto scoffed, eyes wide. "You were m-my b..b-best friend! M-my..." She stopped, realising she was rambling. Her face was extremely warm, her eyes threatening to pop out the sockets with how surprised and angry she felt. "My....idol."

Taken aback, Fujino put her hands out defensively. "O-oh-" She said stupidly, as if she didn't know this firsthand. "I'm sorry, I'm sorry." She quickly said, trying to comfort her. "I was teasing, I missed you too. So much."

A tear ran down Kyomoto's face. "Really?" her voice was low.

"Woah-" Fujino's eyes widened, her brain about to shut down at the sudden display of emotion. "I-i'm so sorry...I didn't mean..."

The sight of her crying pulled her right back to that wretched day. She wished she could go back and wipe her tears, or never make her fucking cry in the first place.

"Just-" Her voice got louder. "Tell me, do you mean it?" She was pleading at this point. Pleading for a reason to trust her, to believe in her all over again

Surprised, Fujino smiled. "Of course I missed you..." she said slowly, reminiscing on how she felt. "You were...my friend. My best friend, remember?" Her heart was throbbing at the memories of just how much time they spent together. Like two peas in a pod, two birds on a wire.

"Just, don't cry p-please." Fujino murmured sheepishly. "I might cry too."

"Y-you just took a long time to make amends." Kyomoto muttered bitterly, pulling her bangs aside and wiping her eyes

Fujino nodded at that, trying not to smile or seem happy. She smiled when she was nervous too much. "Yep, you're not wrong. But I'll make up for it." She said strongly, hand on heart as she tried to be as gentle as possible

"P-..." This was rather bold. "Promise?" Kyomoto looked at her sadly, wanting to believe her fully.

"Promise."

Kyomoto finally smiled, still on the verge of crying. "I'll remember this."

"And I won't forget." Fujino said breathlessly, like she was holding her breath the entire conversation.

She was. In attempts to resist her rambling about how much she loved her in order to make her feel better.