Chapter 1
When you moved in the city for your job as an investigate journalist in a police station, your job is completely confidential that's why you have to move from province, you're coworker referred the place to you.
It's a nice flat, you can work in peace inside the cozy place.
That's half the reason why you stayed.
Half is because you have a hopeless crush on your neighbor, who lives across the hall.
It's been three years.
You first met her when you made her babysit your dog a small yorkie, you named her Twinkie which convinced your neighbor even more and doing you favor of babysitting the puppy.
Carmilla Karnstein, the girl of your dreams who, for the short interactions you've made, you found out is a professor at your alma mater and a sarcastic broody person. She clearly hates the sunlight because she wears sunglasses everytime you see her when you come home late in the afternoon. Nevertheless she smiles at you when no one is looking and you've made pretty good conversations at her when you two got in the elevator together making small talk when you two pass by each other other than that your relationship are strictly friendly neighbors only.
You've been living in your place for half a year when you hear Carmilla talking to the phone as she get in the elevator with you.
"Alright I'm on my way" she paused a low giggle escaped from her throat and you kinda wish that's because of you but you shake your thoughts off when you hear her say "Sure, babe, okay, love you too"
On that exact moment you found out that she has a girlfriend for seven years, and you want to shrink in your place but you don't want to scare her away so you listened halfheartedly as she talk about her girlfriend happily she also explained why Ell and her are not living together which you think doesn't make sense but you don't complain.
It's disappointing knowing that your fantasies of being with Carmilla seems impossible, because where else would a seven years relationship lead to? If marriage wasn't the answer it surely would be eternity.
You think to yourself, you're just a plain simple Laura Hollis.
As the time goes by you got used to the encountering the two grossly inlove couple. It hurts you, or more like makes you jealous when you see them walking down the hall holding hands or making out by the doorstep or when you hear them having sex on what you assume is right on the other side of Carmilla's door or witness the adorable creature of the night holding her girlfriend's waist not wanting her to go just yet or basically the fact that this barbie doll of a girl can have Carmilla all to herself.
But you're used to it, as much as it stings, after all it's not like you have a right to be jealous to begin with and not that they'll give two shits about what you feel because they have each other and you.... well you have Twinkie, Perry, LaF, Danny, Kirsch and your dad.
But you still don't have what Carmilla and Ell have or if you put it that way, who Ell has and it's disappointing but then again, you're just a neighbor.
It's been two years since you moved in and you're seriously used to being alone, not in general just in an intimately romantic kind of way. Well you're not ready, atleast that's what you tell yourself. Yet you're happy that your dad comes over every month and your friends every weekend you even go out to hang out with them you enjoy being the fifth wheel.
It's a Saturday night and you're settled on your couch filled with pillows and Twinkie situated on your toned stomach watching the fifth book of Harry Potter when your buzzer startled both you and Twinkie she barked a few times and you tell her to calm down. You're not expecting anyone, LaF had cancelled the plans for this week (that's why you're watching Harry Potter) so whoever is waiting outside you're sure you don't want to let them in instantly you walked slowly to answer the door not unlocking your door chain because they might be some serial killer and they would've get access on your place right away however when you peek from in between the doorframe and wood you saw a crying mess that is Carmilla. Very quickly you closed and unlocked your door to let the crying girl in.
"What happened?" you asked guiding her to the kitchen counter that is attached to your living room
"Ell broke up with me" she whispered almost inaudible
Obviously she's distress and what better way to make a person feel better than to offer brownies and hot chocolate to them, so as soon as she rested her head on the marble surface of your kitchen counter and let her take out all of her tears as you prepare her hot chocolate and get the brownies from their container and put it an plate for Carmilla to eat. You're not sure if she's in the mood for eating but you figured this a good way to start a conversation. You put two mugs of hot chocolate in front of her and a plate full of cookies and brownies and she laughed, you're pretty proud of yourself for that
"Usually my brother would take me to a bar but you on the other hand offered hot chocolate?"
"Yes, come on, that should make you feel better it works for me when I get my heart broken" and by that Carmilla started crying again "I'm sorry is it something I said?"
"No, not at all" she paused and raised her hands up in the air "I. Don't. Love. You. Anymore. You. May. Now. Go" she counted each word with her finger and let out a bitter low laugh along with tears streaming down her cheeks "Nine years wiped away by nine words, Laura, that easy and simple then all of my dreams and plans with her were out of the window"
This is the most intimate you and Carmilla had ever been and it's in a bad way, this is the most vulnerable you've seen Carmilla, hell this is the most vulnerable a person could be.
"Do you want to talk about it? I promise not to judge you and be all ears" you offer
"Well, I saw her talking to her friend and last week she doesn't know I've seen her with the friend they were holding hands and later that night we had a fight she apologized and told me I'm the one she loves and just five hours ago I snuck in her place just to find the friend and her taking a shower together"
You just hug her there's nothing else in this world that you could give her but your Hollis hug it's a special hug because you're not the one to let go first, not that you easily let go from hugs. From that day on you let her babysit Twinkie again whenever you need to and you joke around each other when you two get in the elevator.
The next month Carmilla asks if you could help her forget, she's asking for advices from you but how do you give an advice to a person you can't get over with to get over their long time partner? You simply declined and told her "When you got used to not having her in your routines sooner or later you're gonna get over it"
You two got closer to each other as weeks goes by, you let her babysit your dog because you can't deny Twinkie another company that she likes. One day you wake up and realize it's been a year and a half since Carmilla's break up
You cheer Carmilla up when she's feeling down, you even set up a sock puppets show for her when she got really mad at the department head for giving her classes before 1pm. You've been on her side, always because you can't really stomach seeing Carmilla being sad.
On a Friday night when you got home from a long day from work you knock on Carmilla's door first to pick up your dog, but when Carmilla answered clad in an oversized university shirt and invites you in you can't find the heart to say no.
Twinkie ran over you and jumped in your arms as soon as you bent to greet her.
"Awww. Laura misses you too cutiepie" you cooed because you like to treat her as a baby
You looked up to say thank you to Carmilla for taking care of your little bundle of fur, she's staring at you with a smile and you don't want to get your hopes high and label it as admiration because you guys are just friends and you don't want to misled yourself, she sighed and shaked her head
"I cooked some grilled beef, you should try it"
The dinner felt different, sure you two have dinners together it's just that Carmilla was the one to ask this time.
You offered to wash the dishes after as a form of thank you for Carmilla, while she clean her countertops. The two of you worked together and it's feels normal to have a dog clinging on your legs while you wash dishes and hear Carmilla humming along to Knuckle Puck, it almost felt like home.
The next day Carmilla was sprawled on your couch while you do your hair and make up singing to yet another pop punk that you think is She's in Pictures by Man Overboard while Twinkie's standing on her hind legs the dark haired holding her other set of arms and swaying her in time with the beat.
You look at them expectantly and Carmilla just brought the dog close to her face showing two pairs of puppy dog eyes.
"Do you have to leave your girls alone?" she whined putting on the most adorable pout
Girls?
Your girls?
Mine.
My girls?
"Well atleast they would be alone together" you settle with what you think is the safest answer. The other girl just didn't want to give up so the next thing you knew you're meeting up with your friends to head over Kirsch's with a dog carrier infront of you and an overly excited puppy inside it and a grown ass cat in a human form, you think that atleast she's attractive.
Carmilla suprisingly got along very well with your squad. She and Krisch talked about hotties, Danny and her had a playful competition on the best classic literature, Laf and her bond over quantum physics and you're honestly impressed and Perry and her are both Jew.
It's like there's this special place in Laura's life that's exclusively made for Carmilla.
They sat at the back of Kirsch's house by the pool, he may not be the smartest but he's from an extremely wealthy family. The gang decided that teasing you is the best idea.
"So, Laur, how come you never mentioned your girlfriend to us before?" as if on cue Twinkie barked as if agreeing with LaF's comment
"We're not- we're.... friends. Just friends" you say the last sentence mostly to yourself than to convince your friends that is actually judging you.
You looked at Carmilla and she's looking at you with an unreadable expression as if she's trying to figure something out.
When you both got in your floor you look at her and say "Goodnight, Carm" you kissed her cheek
"Goodnight, creampuff, I had fun tonight" she smiled and you want to melt but you don't want to let her know how much of an effect she has on you and have her act different towards you.
You just sat on the counter stool and munch on some cookies, thinking about things.
Bottling up your feelings was the best move, you don't want to risk the friendship you have with Carmilla, so you bottle it up and let it be carried away with the help of the waves of the ocean.
But the feelings you have for her are too heavy to be carried away that easy. So you give up, deal with the fact that you'll have feelings for your neighbor for a long time.
You were about to get in bed when you hear a knock on the door, the only person you'd told to only knock on your door instead of using the buzzer, was Carmilla, so you unlock the door chain and see her standing on your doorstep, eyes trained on the ground.
"Is there a reason why you knock late at night? or you just want to look like a lost puppy?" she looked up and you see how worried she looked. She bit the corner of her lower lip and you think you want to bite it for her but now is not the time for your fantasies so you ask "Carm? Is there something you're not telling me?"
"Laura, are we- you know, just.... friends?" she asked and you're confused but you get the idea and it's now or never.
She might not like you the way you do but it's about the perfect time so you ask "Why? Do you want more?"
"Remember the day you made me watch sock puppets when I had a meeting with the department head?" she smiled and continued "That was a year ago, that was the day you stole my heart, I just-" you cut her off with a kiss, a slow kiss because you want to see if it's real or not, you want to feel how real it is.
Because who would've thought that sock puppets will help you steal the person-you-like-so-much's heart so you want to feel it. Finally after three years you can feel how her lips move against yours and her smile in between pecks.
"Do you want more?" you asked just to be sure
"I would be an idiot to not want to" she replied and once again pressed her lips on your waiting ones.
You lay in your bed that night, letting the scenarios of earlier events replay and drag you both to dreamland
When you woke up in the morning the first thing you notice is the unfamiliar but too welcome scent of Carmilla, limbs tangled together, bodies pressed flush against each other, your head nuzzled on the crook of her neck. When you looked at her, she's slightly smiling in her sleep and you wonder if it's because of you but if her pulling you closer is any indication, you would think that, yes, that was because of you.
You savor the moment of being in Carmilla's arms then a few seconds later she stirs, she groaned.
"I love you" she whisper and kissed the top of your head.
Just a few years ago, all this was all in your head and you actually thought back then that all of this are impossible but now that it's happening you want to cry, because this used to be your fantasy.
"I love you too, for so long" she smiled and leaned down to kiss you as the moment got heated a furry animal jumped on the bed. The two of you laughed. She looked at you with what you're now cretain is a look of admiration.
You think that, whatever happens, she'll always be worth the wait.
"Oh and I'm glad you still like me when you woke up" she laughed and kissed your forehead, then your nose then finally your lips.
And the long wait was so worth it.