Chapter VIII
CHAPTER VIII
Long after the agent had disappeared behind the metal doors of the elevator, Clarke was still outside her apartment, her hand softly caressing her cheek where she could still feel the soft press of Lexa’s lips. Tonight had been incredible; beyond incredible if Clarke was being honest to herself. Never before had she felt this rush, this giddiness; this feeling inside of her like a whole damn zoo was in chaos. It was as if she’d been sucked back in time and she was 17 again; falling in love for the first time.
With a smile on her face and her eyes shining with pure happiness, she slipped her key in the lock and opened the door. She dropped her keys on the table beside the door and was about to turn and lock the door when she saw a movement in the kitchen.
After the attack, Lexa had her team install numerous panic buttons scattered all throughout her apartment. Just to be safe, Lexa had said to her then. There was one in her bedroom placed at the right panel of her nightstand. One was under the coffee table in the living room. There was also one in the kitchen and in Clarke’s studio. The closest was the one in the living room.
Now she just had to find a way to get to it. But how?
Clarke softly cursed under her breath when she remembered that aside from the L-shaped couched and the dinner table, there was nothing else dividing the living room from the kitchen. I can…crawl? She asked her herself but soon realized how stupid that would be. The moment she made a run for it, the attacker would see her and things would go to hell.
A shadow moved and Clarke backed up against the door, trying to blend in the darkness surrounding her. With shaky hands she reached inside her pocket and pulled out her phone. Her thumbs were shaking as she typed out a text.
Clarke: Don’t freak out but I think someone is in my apartment.
She held her breathe as she watched the shadow approaching the short hallway; approaching her.
Clarke: I’M GOING TO DIE. WHERE ARE YOU?!?
Placing her phone down on the table beside her, she readied herself. She could hear the soft thud of footsteps echoing around her and could tell the intruder was closing in on her. A few moments later, someone emerged from the dark and Clarke screamed, running towards the person just as the front door was kicked open and Lexa appeared with her gun drawn.
“Clarke!” Lexa yelled at the same time a loud “Oh! What the fuck!” was heard.
Clarke had run straight at the person and tackled them down, sending both of them onto the carpeted floor. The blonde groaned at the impact but quickly whipped her head back when the door was kicked opened and she heard Lexa call her name.
“Oh! What the fuck! Clarke get the fuck off of me!!” The person under Clarke groaned and tried to pull away.
“Raven?” Clarke asked in surprise.
“Yes, you moron. Now get off. You’re crushing me.”
Now that the threat appeared to be no threat at all, Lexa holstered her gun and approached the women on the floor. She held her hand out and helped Clarke back up to her feet, briefly squeezing the blonde’s hand, silently asking if she was okay. Clarke smiled and nodded, squeezing back in return. A small smile appeared on Lexa’s lips and their hands were connected for a second longer than an innocent touch would allow.
Raven, who was completely forgotten by Clarke and Lexa, smirked as she witnessed the whole thing. She cleared her throat and the two women jumped, letting go of each other’s hand and looking down; the tips of their ears turning bright red as if they were teenagers caught making out in the basement.
“So …” Raven said; a wicked grin plastered on her face.
“So?” Clarke mirrored. She raised an eyebrow at her friend’s direction, giving her a look that said Say one word and I will throw you off the window.
Raven merely rolled her eyes and raised her hands in mock surrender, turning to walk back in the direction she came. However, Lexa’s voice calling out her name made her pause and she turned around. “Yeah?”
“How did you get into Clarke’s apartment?” The agent asked.
“Yes, Raven. How did you get inside my apartment?”
“I have the keys. Duh.” Raven answered.
Lexa fought the urge to roll her eyes. Instead, she kept her face passive as she crossed her arms over chest. “We changed the locks a few days ago after the attack. Aside from me, and Clarke, no one else has the new set of keys. So …” Lexa unfolded her arms and took a step towards Raven, “How did you get in?”
“You have a key to Clarke’s apartment?” Raven grinned, “Way to go Commander Ho—”
Lexa cut her off, “Miss Reyes, do I look like I have the time to humor you and your annoying self that seems to become even more annoying every time I see you?” Her tone made it clear that it wouldn’t be pretty for Raven if she didn’t answer her question.
Raven’s eyes went wide and looked at Clarke, “Clarke, seriously? You’re letting her question me?”
The blonde just shrugged and leaned back against the wall. She knows very well how Raven got in.
Raven looked back at the agent and almost pissed herself when she saw the look Lexa was giving her. “Fine. I hacked into the system and overrode the security measures your computer geek installed.” Raven said in one quick go.
Clarke sighed and just shook her head; obviously used to the fact that Raven always does something like this.
“Miss Reyes, I need you to come with me.” Lexa said.
“What?” Both Raven and Clarke said at the same time.
“I need you to come down with me to the Command Centre.” The agent’s tone was firm, steady, and left no room for argument.
“Lex, come on. She does this all the time.” Clarke said. She was beginning to panic that her friend might’ve violated a bunch of regulations. Damn her and her insanely wicked hacking skills, Clarke cursed to herself.
“All the time?” Lexa turned to Clarke, raising an eyebrow.
Raven groaned and covered her face, “You just had to make it worse, Griffin. You just had to.”
Monty Green sat in his swivel chair, staring at the computer screens before him, and then back at the woman who only shrugged at him. “You … You hacked ... How?”
“It’s not rocket science.” Raven mumbled. She wiggled in her seat when she saw that Lexa was still staring at her. She was sure if looks could kill, she’d have been murdered ten times over since the moment Lexa practically dragged her down the Command Center.
“Lexa, is this really necessary?” Clarke asked.
“I’m sorry if I haven’t made myself clear.” Lexa turned to her side and faced the blonde, her tone strong and hard. “But my job is to protect you. My job is to make sure nothing and no one slips pass me and my team; to make sure that our security and alarm systems are three steps ahead of whoever wants to kill you.” Lexa was now a few feet away from the blonde, looking dead straight in to those blue orbs that never fail to make her heart skip a beat whenever they were directed her way. “My job,” Lexa’s voice changed, became softer. “My job is to keep you safe.”
“Lex …” Clarke whispered. The blonde was overwhelmed with the feelings that were threatening to take hold of her. She knew Lexa meant what she said; she knew the agent would do everything in her power to keep her safe; even if that meant taking a bullet for her. Memories from the attack flashed before her eyes; the sounds of gunshots, people yelling, Lexa protecting her, Lexa getting shot.
“If Raven, a club owner and god knows what else she does, manages to break into our security system that one of the best agents of Grounders wrote himself, someone else out there can do it as well. The very same people who wanted to hurt Clarke.”
Raven, who had now realized Lexa’s purpose of bringing her to the Command Centere and showing her the body of the codes, stared wide-eyed at Lexa, the gears in her head shifting into place. “You want me to fix it?”
Monty whipped his head so fast and looked at his Commanding Agent. “What? No, no, no.” He said, shaking his head. “Commander, are you seriously asking her,” he pointed a finger towards Raven, who in turn slapped his finger away from her and grumbled, “to fix my own code?”
“Afraid of a little competition?” Raven smirked.
Monty just glared at her.
Lexa rolled her eyes at the two of them. Why am I stuck with a bunch of children? “No, Agent Green. I want her help in making your codes stronger.” She then turned to Raven, “I’m hiring you as a consultant.”
Everyone in the room blinked.
“What?” Raven asked. “I, what?”
Lexa had done a little a background check on Clarke’s friends. Apparently, Raven Reyes had a little bit of talent when it came to computers and mechanical things. She had been a member of her robotic team back in high school, graduating with a double major in Mechanical and Computer Engineering, also taking up a few classes in Physics and Computer Science. This woman is literally a genius and all she does is own a bar.
“Or I could arrest you for hacking in to the house of the president’s daughter and breaking in.” Lexa said casually, leaning back against the table behind her. “So?”
Raven let out a long sigh, “Alright, alright. I’ll do it.”
Lexa nodded. “Good. Agent Green will walk you through everything and keep you up to speed on what you need to know.” She then turned to walk towards her office. “I’ll let Mr. Kane know and have the paper work and contract agreement tomorrow. Oh, and Miss Griffin?” Lexa paused as she reached the door, turning around and locking eyes with the blonde, “Can I have a word with you in private?”
Her tone made Clarke aware that no wasn’t an answer, and that the blonde was about to get an earful from the agent.
Turns out that the blonde was right. The moment the door to Lexa’s office was closed, the agent began to lectured her on how dangerous this whole ordeal was. Someone hacking into their system? They might as well let the people who wanted to hurt her waltz right in.
Clarke knows that Lexa is just worried about her. No matter how hard and tough the agent might appear on the outside, no matter how composed she is, her eyes will always give her away. Those green eyes will always tell her the exact opposite of what her words and actions are tell her. The blonde couldn’t help but wonder what had happened to make Lexa this guarded and build up walls so thick.
Last night was something different. Something had shifted between them and Clarke knew they both felt it. She had never seen Lexa so relaxed and unguarded until last night during their walk back to her apartment and the moment they had shared outside her door. Those green eyes were free of the dark shade it always had and Clarke was taken aback by how enticing they were and how they seemed to sparkle whenever the agent smiled.
God help her. That smile.
Whenever Lexa smiles, Clarke goes weak in the knees and her heart seems to fall out her ribcage and down into her stomach.
But the blonde knew there was still something holding the agent back from allowing herself to give in to the building tension and attraction between them. As she was lying down on her massive king size bed, and staring at the ceiling, her thoughts drifted back to the conservation she and Lexa had in the safe house a few nights ago.
“I lost someone special to me. Her name was Costia. I lost her because I was stupid and naïve enough to hope; to hope that I could live a normal life and do my job.”
Clarke couldn’t help but feel a twinge of jealousy with this woman called Costia. Who is she? What the extent of her relationship with Lexa? Where is she? What happened between them?
All these questions swirling around her head made her groan and she covered her face with a pillow, breathing in the smell of freshly washed covers. But it did little to stop her train of thoughts from wandering.
“This is dangerous, Clarke.”
“What is? Love?”
“Hope.”
“Hope is the only thing stronger than fear.”
Bits and pieces of their conversation flowed freely and she could feel an ache in the middle of the chest when she was reminded of how vulnerable and scared Lexa had been. She saw how lost and broken the woman was through those green eyes. She could see the pain in them and all she ever wanted in that moment was to kiss away all the pain and tell her just how much she cared for her.
She was certain that night would put an end to whatever little dance they had going on. Clarke had given Lexa an out, and the agent could’ve easily taken it. Lexa could’ve walked out of that room and that would have been the end of it.
“We can be each other’s new hope.”
“Maybe. Maybe someday we can be. But I can’t risk you.”
She didn’t know what had taken over her, but she’ll be damned if she let go that easily and let the woman who stole her heart walk away from her as if nothing ever happened. Her mind was screaming at her that this would only break her heart, a disaster. But her heart was telling her to take a chance, take a leap of faith.
“Look at me in the eye and tell me that you don’t feel the same way. Tell me that you feel nothing for me. Look at me in the eye and tell me that when I was almost killed yesterday, you felt nothing.
Tell me, that you weren’t even relieved when you walked in this safe house and you saw that I was safe. Tell me that the kisses we shared, those two kisses, meant nothing to you.
Tell me that I’m nothing more than just another regular assignment to you. Tell it straight to my face and just walk away because we both know that’s what you’re good at.”
She placed all her cards on the table that night and hoped to whatever God is up there that this would be enough and would be worth it in the end.
“I’m scared, Clarke. I’m scared to let myself hope again.”
“I have enough hope for the both of us until you’re ready.”
And maybe, maybe it will be.
The next Friday, they were boarding a private jet for their flight to the Philippines. The past few days were spent planning, shopping, and packing for the trip. They would be staying at the resort that Octavia and Bellamy’s grandparents own up in the northern part of Luzon. Lexa had demanded to see a blue print of the resort and a map of the province but Octavia said that it will take the “surprise” element of the whole thing if they see it before they got there. It was quickly followed by a short but heated argument between the Commanding Agent and the fierce little brunette, going toe-to toe until Clarke stepped in yelled for a cease-fire.
Lexa had just neatly placed away her luggage and was settling in her seat when she felt someone occupy the empty seat beside her.
“This seat looks vacant.” a familiar voice reached Lexa’s ear.
Lexa turned her head and saw Luna Handcroft smirking at her, her eyes obviously checking her out. The agent gave a small polite smile, “These aren’t reserved seats, Ms. Handcroft. You can seat anywhere you please.”
“Then you don’t mind?”
Lexa shook her head, “Not at all, Ms. Handcroft.”
Luna reached between them for her seatbelt, not so subtly brushing her hand on Lexa’s thighs. Lexa tense a bit, but didn’t pull away nor did her face show any reaction. “Please, drop the formalities. Call me Luna.”
Lexa nodded.
Luna could handle rejection, but when her advantages were being ignored, she hated it. And Commander Woods had clearly been rejecting her advances since they met at Clarke’s gallery.
“Do you surf, Commander?”
“I do.”
“Clarke herself is quite the expert, did you know?”
“Ms. Griffin is a talented person,” Lexa said. “It doesn’t surprise me.”
Luna had tried to read the woman sitting beside her, searching for a sliver of hidden meaning in her words. But like their conversation back at the gallery, she found nothing. She couldn’t remember meeting someone so inscrutable. But despite that, Luna couldn’t deny the attraction she has for the brunette agent. It was more than Lexa’s physical appeal, though Luna couldn’t also deny how the agent was literally jaw-dropping attractive. Luna had seen that Lexa was anything but cold despite her being stiff and uptight all the time.
“Hmm, yes.” Luna leaned to Lexa’s shoulder a bit as she fiddles with her seatbelt and tightened it. “Clarke has many hidden talents. And I’m sure that you’ve noticed that she doesn’t bother to hide her interests.” Luna smirked at Lexa’s direction.
Lexa remained quiet as she took a sip of her water.
“I guess talking about Clarke is off-limits then. That’s fine. I’m much more interested in you.” Luna winked at her.
Lexa couldn’t help but chuckled at the undying persistence of the woman. Maybe if the circumstances were different, in another place, in another time, she would have not ignored Luna’s advances. It was her past slowly pushing at the front of her mind while struggling to keep her chin up the water in the present; this thing between her and Clarke, it was good. But it scared Lexa.
The agent cleared her thoughts, “I’m afraid there’s nothing interesting about me.”
“Oh, no, Commander.” Luna then boldly placed her hand on top of Lexa’s thigh and roamed her eyes up and down the agent’s lean form. “I seriously doubt that.”
Lexa shook her head, smiling at the sophisticated, overly confident woman beside her. “If you say so.”
Luna is like a hungry dog and unless you throw a bone in her direction, she won’t stop.
Lexa felt the hand on her thigh squeeze briefly before letting go.
Both women settled in their seats when the pilot announced that they were about to take off. Sitting on the other side of the jet, Clarke studied them on the corner of her eye. Discreetly watching them over the magazine she was pretending to read. She was completely aware of what Luna was doing. And did she hate the woman for it. It has been a last minute decision to invite Luna. More like, Octavia forced her to, since her and Raven apparently has this small crush on her.
She had known Luna since college and had witnessed firsthand her many tactics and conquests. None of them ever bothered Clarke. It actually impressed her on how good Luna is.
Until now.
This was the very first time it had matter to Clarke whether or not Luna will succeed.
Yes, she and Lexa had talked about giving whatever was between them, a chance. It was going painfully slow, especially since Clarke can clearly see Lexa was struggling with something. She had once thought about asking Lexa who Costia was, but decided against it. She saw the pain in Lexa’s eyes that night she told her a bit about her past. In time, Clarke thought, Lexa would tell her when she’s ready.
That was about a week ago. And since then, they’ve only shared lingering touches, small smiles, and sometimes a couple of text messages. Outside the two of them, no one knows the extent of their relationship.
Hell, even I don’t know what we are. Clarke frowned at the thought.
She looked up from the magazine just as Luna placed a hand on Lexa’s thigh. Clarke clenched her jaw at the sight. She hated the thought that Luna could publicly and boldly hold Lexa the way Clarke had wanted to, she hated even more that there was a slight possibility that Lexa was entertaining Luna.
To top it all off, Clarke was jealous.
And Clarke Griffin is never jealous
The blonde let out a groan and dropped her head down on the small table in front of her.
This is going to be a very very long 16-hour flight.
Clarke was dreaming of swimming in a pool with a bunch of baby penguins when someone gently shook her awake. She fought to hold on to sleep and swim with the penguins a little longer but someone was calling her name and was telling her to wake up.
“Hmmm” The blonde slowly blinked her eyes open.
“Clarke,” Her name rolling off Lexa’s lips and the way it sounds sent warmth all over her body, “Wake up. We’re here.”
She smiled up at the agent and nodded. Uncurling her body and stretching her muscles; letting out a soft moan when her muscles were stretched. She caught Lexa in the corner of her eye staring at her and visibly swallowed as she heard the sound escaping the blonde. The blonde couldn’t help but smirk and wink at her as she grabbed her luggage and headed to exit the jet.
Lexa’s face turned a shade of red when she saw Clarke had seen her staring at her and quickly turned away, mumbling something under her breath as she gathered up her stuff and followed Clarke. Stepping out of the jet, Lexa shook off her coat and threw on her aviators to shield her eyes from the sun. She took a deep breath of the humid air and in an instant memories of the last she was here rushed in the front of her mind.
The last time she was here, she was on an assignment; going undercover in one of the bases of a group laundering US Dollars in the Philippines.
The last time she was here, she was still a Secret Service Agent.
The last time she was here, that was when things went to hell; ruining her life and her career.
When Octavia had offered up a plan for a get-away trip, she hadn’t expected in to be somewhere she thought she’d ever return to ever again. She had said nothing then, didn’t try to suggest another country, another continent. She had said yes, planned the trip, and here she is now, standing in a country that held so many memories of her past.
Lexa looked up and saw the blonde talking with Octavia and Raven, throwing her head back in laughter at something Raven had said to her. Seeing Clarke so free, care-free, and buzzing with so much energy caused a small pang of ache inside her. She would give anything to see Clarke like that every single day. Even if it meant facing her past and demons just lurking around the corner, waiting to jump out and sink their claws in her.
What she didn’t know, is how truly close her past is and is about to collide with her present.