Chapter IV
CHAPTER IV
Clarke stumbled in her apartment and flicked on a switch. Lights flooded the place and she had to blink a couple of times before her eyes adjusted. Kicking off her heels she turned around and observed the woman standing at her door. “Are you coming in or are you just going to stand there?” She watched as the woman slowly took off her jacket and held it with her right hand. As she followed the movement, she caught sight of the gauze that has spots of blood wrapped around her hand. Slowly, Clarke moved closer to the woman and reached out, “What happened to your hand?” Her voice was so soft, delicate, and Lexa felt herself relaxing just hearing it. Green eyes snapped down when she felt soft hands gently grab her injured hand and turned it over, examining it. “Your bandage needs to be changed. Come inside and I’ll help you.” Clarke offered a smile as she looked up at the agent.
Lexa was slightly caught off guard by the change in demeanor of the blonde. Not long ago, Clarke was ready to rip her head off for finding her and dragging her back home. During the car ride, Clarke spent the whole hour sulking and huffing and voicing out her irritation. But besides the messy blonde hair, the slight smudged of make-up and the smell of alcohol, the woman standing in front of her and holding her hand was nothing like the woman she had found in the bar. That woman had been wild, sexual, and untamable. Clarke Griffin is a predator, and a good one. She was beautiful and irresistible. Lexa had felt that pull towards the blonde and it was taking every fiber of self-control to resist it. But this woman, she was more open, more vulnerable, and less guarded. And Lexa thinks that this is far more dangerous than the Clarke Griffin she saw in the bar; because this Clarke Griffin is the real Clarke Griffin. The Clarke Griffin standing in front of her is not the façade the blonde woman uses every time she goes out in public. This Clarke Griffin is only seen by a few people and Lexa’s stomach flipped and her heart was beating wildly when she finally got the chance to see a part of the real her.
“I … We have a first aid kit down at the command center. I can take care of it.”
Clarke gave a soft tug on the hand she was holding, effectively pulling the agent inside her apartment. “Nope. You took care of me tonight; you made sure I was safe and that I got home. At least let me take care of you.” The blonde smiled and walked further inside the apartment. It was clear the blonde wouldn’t take no for an answer and so the agent followed her. Once seated on the couch, the blonde got to work unwrapping the gauze. She cringed once she saw the cuts on the agent’s hand.
“Jesus, did you have a fight with a mirror?”
“Something like that.” Lexa mumble as she bit the inside of her cheeks when Clarke wiped the cuts clean and she felt a sting.
“Sorry. Almost done.” Clarke’s actions were executed with precession like she was used in doing this.
“You’re good at this.”
Clarke shrugged as she started wrapping Lexa’s hand in a new strip of gauze. “My mom’s a surgeon and she made sure I had knowledge in first aid. But I’m guessing you already knew that, didn’t you?” Clarke leaned back once she was done and propped her feet up the coffee table.
“It’s not like that. It’s protocol to kno—” Lexa began to explain but she was cut off when she heard the blonde chuckle beside her. “Geez. You’re so uptight, Commander. I was only joking.” Lexa can’t help but roll her eyes and a small smile appeared on her face. If it weren’t for her job, she would’ve tried and be friends with Clarke Griffin. Maybe even pursue something more.
“You should do that more.”
“Do what?”
“Smile.” Clarke said simply. “I like you more when you’re like this. You’re so serious whenever I see you. It’s like you’re incapable of feeling anything. But this version of you, the one that isn’t so guarded , the one that’s more relaxed. I like this better.”
The words that came out of the blonde’s mouth surprised the agent. They were her exact thoughts just a few moments ago when they were standing outside Clarke’s door. It was like something clicked inside her and Lexa could feel herself beginning to panic. She can’t do this. She can’t be friends with her subject. She can’t have anything other than a professional relationship with her subject.
Without another word, Lexa abruptly stood up causing the blonde to flinch in surprise because of the sudden action. “I need to go.” Lexa said. She didn’t wait for an answer and began walking towards the door.
“Agent Woods, wait …” She can hear Clarke behind her but she kept walking. Just as she was about to open the door, a hand grabbed her by the arm and spun her around. It caused her to lose her balance and she stumble backwards, her back hitting the door with a soft thud. Clarke took the chance and stepped forward, effectively stepping inside Lexa’s personal space and trapping the agent. Clarke’s hands were suddenly on Lexa’s waist and the agent was momentarily stunned. She could feel Clarke’s body heat and smell the faint hint of lavender and jasmine. The smell of Clarke Griffin was intoxicating and Lexa was drunk in it. Lexa hadn’t been this close to another woman since Costia and her body was suddenly buzzing with pent up desires.
“What are you so afraid of, Commander?” Clarke asked as she leaned in close. Her voice was bare of any of the sexual innuendo the blonde usually has whenever she tries to flirt with the agent and Lexa thinks that this is far more dangerous than when Clarke is seducing her using her sexual prowess. Their lips were only millimeters apart and their eyes kept dropping down to gaze at each other lips.
So so so close. Oh, God.
“Every day you come to work and you make sure that I’m protected and that I survive another day in this crazy circus called my life. You’re basically her to make sure I survive if ever someone attacks me. But don’t you think, that maybe, life should be about more than just surviving? Don’t you think we deserve better than that?”
Blue met green and both women could feel the surge of electricity that passed between them. Lexa swallowed the lump in her throat when she saw Clarke lean in closer and was slowly closing the distance between them. Clarke was unsure on whether her growing feelings for the agent were reciprocated. She was about to pull away and blame the alcohol for her actions when she heard the agent whisper, “Maybe we do.”
And that was all the blonde needed. Clarke closed the distance and connected her lips with the agent. Lexa gasped in surprised when she felt the softness of her lips and gods help her, she could kiss her forever. Both women couldn’t contain the moan that escaped their lips when Clarke pushed in closer, pressing her body against Lexa. Lexa kissed Clarke back, she couldn’t help it. For a moment she forgot who she was, she forgot where she was, she forgot her assignment. For a moment she forgot she was a Commanding Agent and that Clarke Griffin is just an assignment. In that moment, all she was aware of was the loud pounding of her heart, the warm feeling enveloping her, the soft lips that were kissing her, and the throbbing of her center that was driving her insane.
When the need for air became too much to ignore, they slowly pulled apart. Lexa had her eyes closed. She was afraid that when she opens them, a wave of guilt would crush her for letting her feelings take control of her.
“Lexa … Look at me. Hey.”
She felt Clarke cup her face and slowly, she opened her eyes.
Blue. Blue. Blue.
Lexa got lost in the blueness of her eyes and it anchored her.
“I … Clarke. We can’t do this.” Lexa whispered. She was breathing hard and she could still taste Clarke’s lips.
“Would it really be that bad? Clarke said.
Despite her heart screaming at her, she pulled away from the blonde and stepped away. She opened the door and stepped outside. When she turned around to face Clarke, she almost gave in when she saw the hurt on the blonde’s face. But she can’t do this. She can’t be involved with her subject. “I have a job to do. And I can’t do my job if I let my feelings cloud my judgment. Feelings make you weak, Clarke. And in this job, I can’t afford to be weak. Have a good night, Ms. Griffin. I’ll see you tomorrow at eleven for the briefing.” Lexa turned and headed for the elevators.
“Lexa, wait!”
Lexa stopped but didn’t turn around.
“Are we going to pretend this never happened? Because I ca—”
“I have no idea what you’re saying, Ms. Griffin.” Lexa said, her back still facing Clarke. “All that happened tonight was that I found you in a bar and brought you home. Good night, Ms. Griffin.” The elevator doors opened and Lexa stepped inside, disappearing as the metal doors closed shut.
Clarke wondered not for the first time on how many times does she have to watch the brunette walk away from her before she gets used to the disappointment that was gnawing at her from inside out.
Two weeks passed by very quickly and before Lexa knew it, it had already been more than a month since she first started working as the Commanding Agent in Clarke Griffin’s private security detail. Since Clarke’s escape two weeks ago, Lexa made sure that she had a watchful eye on her subject. She still kept her word that she’ll be unobtrusive as possible, and she is. The agent had let the blonde do whatever she pleases as long as she cooperates with them and informs them of her plans, although there had been an incident when they flew to Washington D.C. for the president’s birthday a few days ago. Clarke’s excuse was that she became bored of the uptight and formal party and that’s why she snuck out and went to a bar. Of course, it was Lexa who found her again. Over the last month, even though Lexa wouldn’t admit it, they somehow formed a connection between them.
“Do you really have to be so punctual?” Clarke commented as she opened the door and stepped aside to let Lexa in. The blonde nodded at the direction of the living room as she made her way to her bedroom, “Get comfortable. I just need to put some jewelry on and we can be on our way.” Lexa nodded and sat down on the couch as she waited for Clarke to finish getting ready. Tonight was the opening of Clarke’s new art gallery in Soho, which means that Lexa and her team were back to being dressed up in suits. At least for the night.
“How do I look?” She looked up as she heard the question and felt herself stop breathing at the sight that greeted her. Clarke was standing in front of her dressed in a midnight blue evening dress. The dress fitted her like a glove and Lexa’s eyes roamed freely taking in the curves of the woman’s body. The straps were thin and the scoop on the front revealed just enough cleavage. Her hair was pulled up in a loose bun with a few curls framing her face, leaving her shoulders and neck bare. Lexa fought the urge to lick her lips at the sight and instead lifted her eyes to meet blue ones staring back at her.
“You’re gorgeous.” Lexa whispered. The words were out before her mind could process them and mentally kicked herself for letting her desires take a hold of her. But Clarke heard it nonetheless and blushed. A shy smile appeared on the blonde face as she sat down beside the agent, “Thanks.” Lexa shifted and turned slightly and looked at the blonde. She was aware of her own heart pounding wildly inside her chest and alarm bells inside her head were ringing. The last time they were this close, Clarke had kissed her. And she kissed her back.
God help me. She’s the most beautiful woman I ever laid eyes on since Costia.
Lexa seemed to be in a dazed and was snapped out of it when she felt soft hands take her right hand and examined it, “How’s your hand?” Lexa only stared as Clarke turned her hand and examined it. “Does it still hurt?” Lexa could hear the rush of blood in her ears and her heart was still beating wildly. Clarke was so close Suddenly; Lexa stood up and smoothed down the invisible wrinkles on her blazer. “We should go. You wouldn’t want to be late on your own opening. I’ll be in the car waiting, Ms. Griffin.” With that, Lexa turned around and walked out the door.
Clarke stared at Lexa as she retreated and was left sitting down at her couch. She wasn’t trying to seduce the agent; she wasn’t even being sassy or sarcastic. She was just genuinely worried about the agent when she saw her hand two weeks ago. Shaking her head, she stood up and gathered her things before following the agent out the door.
When the car door opened, Lexa briefly looked up to see Clarke entering the vehicle and then resumed reading the guest list for the event and scanning the photos of all the attendees. The list was filled with well known artist both in America and internationally and although the event was invite-only and invitations are needed to get in, this type of event is the most dangerous thing for her subject – A public event that has been televised and promoted all over the media. For all Lexa knew, there may be someone waiting for the president’s daughter outside the venue, or a sniper waiting on one of the rooftops. Lexa and her team had planned that she and Agent Lawrence will be the eyes inside. Agent Green will be in the marked van keeping an eye on the security cameras; while Agent Miller and Agent Hosh are just outside, keeping a watchful eye.
“Ms. Griffin.” Lexa greeted.
“Agent Woods.” Clarke said in return. After what happened two weeks ago, Clarke would’ve thought that maybe, her and the agent could form a friendship; find some common ground between them. After the kiss, Clarke was sure that the stubborn agent felt the same. And when Lexa kissed her back, Clarke had thought that maybe this meant that the agent was finally opening up to her, to finally let her in and give her the chance to get to know her. Even though Clarke wouldn’t admit it to anyone, that rejection hurt more than the previous rejections she had experienced from the brunette. To try and lightened the mood, she flashed her infamous smirk and asked, “Will you be my date for the night? Since you know, our clothes match. And may I say, that suit looks good on you.”
Lexa looked down at her attire; her tailored grey suit and midnight blue linen shirt matched perfectly with Clarke’s attire. It wasn’t planned; Lexa had no clue on what Clarke was wearing for the event. When Lexa looked up, her face was blank and her expression gave nothing away. “I was planning on following you inside after a few minutes you. It wouldn’t be the best idea for me to be identified that easily. We prefer that none of us be recognized in case someone from the crowd is planning to do something drastic.”
Clarke let out a bitter laugh as she can feel herself getting pissed at the coldness the agent was showing her, “You mean for you not to be recognized the next time you follow me inside a bar?”
“For the next time you might like as much privacy as I can give you,” Lexa easily countered.
Clark stared at her and raised an eyebrow. Clarke knew that Lexa’s words were sincere. The agent’s approach on her was something new. The previous agents always had an iron-clad grip on her and used strong-armed tactics. No one has ever dare try the “I’m just here to look after you and make sure you’re safe.” routine before. No matter how stoic or expressionless Lexa’s façade is, her actions always give away her true emotions. “You’d like me to think that you care about me?”
Lexa shrugged and piled the photos she was looking at inside an envelope. “The happier you are, the happier I’m going to be.
Clarke laughed, “Well, at least you’re honest.”
“That’s the only card I have to play with.” Lexa said seriously.
Clarke’s eyebrow rose at the statement, “Is that so?”
Lexa nodded.
“Then tell me, Lexa,” Clarke voice became serious and Lexa suddenly wished she hadn’t been so blunt, “What are you so afraid of?” The blonde voiced out the same question she asked two weeks ago. “You told me having feelings makes someone weak, but you’re weak from hiding from them. You have a past; hell, we all do. I don’t know what happened to you that made you so closed off and made you think having feelings make you weak.” Clarke tentatively reached out her hand and when Lexa didn’t move her hand away, Clarke placed her hand on top of Lexa’s and held it. “Look me in the eyes and tell me you didn’t feel anything when I kissed you. Look me in the eyes and tell me that you haven’t dreamed about me.”
Lexa moved her gaze and met Clarke’s eyes.
Blue. Blue. Blue.
“You can still do your job and get what you desire, Lexa. It can happen. If you’ll just let me in.”
Lexa blinked once, and focused on a spot beside Clarke’s head. “I did that. Once.” Lexa said without thinking. She tried to stop at that, but the words just kept tumbling out her lips. “But it didn’t end well. And I swore never to let myself be sidetracked again and mix my professional life with my private life. Just let me do my job, Ms. Griffin. As much as possible, I’ll try to stay out of your way. There will be times when it’s impossible, and I apologize in advance if ever that moment comes.”
Clarke sighed. “But you wouldn’t bend the rules? Even if the thing you desire the most is almost in your reach and all you have to do is grab it and it can be finally yours?”
“No.” Lexa answered, her voice was flat and void of any emotion. But deep inside, her heart was screaming at her on how stupid she is. She slightly shifted her head to the side as her earpiece came to life, informing them that they have arrived at their destination. When she looked up, she saw the surprise in Clarke’s eyes before her expression changed into one of dismissal.
“We’re here.” Lexa informed her. “Agent Hosh and Agent Miller will do a sweep and after they have cleared the area, Agent Lawrence will escort you in.”
“I know the drill.” Clarke snapped. She was pissed. She was pissed at the agent’s implacable demeanor. Maybe the artist was wrong all along, maybe she had been reading the signs wrong and it was only her who felt this way. Maybe Lexa really felt nothing for her. But good god, the way Lexa had kissed her.
“Enjoy the opening and good luck.” Lexa said quietly and smiled at her as she slid out from the car. She ignored the agent and closed the car door.
“So, where’s your new guard dog?” Luna Handcroft asked as she appeared next to Clarke, sipping her glass of champagne. Clarke surveyed the room and couldn’t help but smile at the scene that was in front of her; she was finally making herself known and was starting to build a name for herself. Although it’s her own gallery and opening, Clarke had invited a few artists to showcase their own work of art and give them the exposure that every artist needed. In fact, she had only a total of 15 pieces in display amongst the 100 pieces of art work scattered around the place. Artists and collectors were walking around the place, moving from painting to painting and observing the fine details of it.
“Hmm,” Clarke hummed as she took a sip from her glass as well and nodded at the direction of the entrance. “Directly across from us. She just came in.” The agent was casually moving around and was looking at their direction from time to time. She was good at blending in. If it weren’t for their current situation, Clarke would’ve thought she’s just one of the wealthy collectors that had been invited. Lexa’s eyes never stayed on her for more than a two seconds but Clarke knew that she was the only thing that the agent was looking at. She also knew that the agent only sees her as an assignment, an object to be moved around like a chess piece on a game board. Clarke may be the queen but she was strip of all her power and she was being ruled over by the pawns assigned to protect her.
“Oh,” Luna murmured, looking at the direction of where Clarke is looking at. She took in the lean posture and tantalizing features of the agent in one swift appraising gaze. “Raven was right. She is hot.”
Clarke was irritated as the sudden surged of possessiveness towards the agent when she heard the suggestive tone in her friend’s voice. “Yeah. If she wasn’t being paid to watch you.” Clarke snapped at her friend.
“Well, I’d surely pay for that.” Luna chuckled as Clarke threw a dirty look in her direction. “What? I’m not blind, I can appreciate someone who’s attractive.”
“Don’t you have Olivia to keep your bed warm or is she not good enough?”
“Oh, Olivia is more than enough and she is very very good in bed. But we’re not really official and we’ve always talked about trying to have a threeso—”
“Luna, enough!” Clarke said hurriedly, stopping whatever words her friend was about to utter. “I don’t need details about your sex life.” Her friend chuckled as she placed her empty glass on a tray that a passing waiter was carrying. “You need to mingle to sell your art. And I gotta mingle to sell your art as well.” Clarke just shook her head as she watched her friend walked away. She felt a tap on her shoulder and she instantly plastered her business smile when she saw it was the director of the Art Museum in NYU. “Mr. McCord, I’m so glad you could make it.” From there, Clarke moved from buyers to buyers, managing to encourage them to pull out their checks to buy a piece or two. All throughout, she had wondered how long it will be before she managed to bump into the agent.
“It’s a shame you can’t really appreciate the art.” Lexa had been looking at a painting of a massive lake with a cabin house and a beautiful forest in the background when she felt someone stand next to her. She cocked her head to the side and observed the woman standing beside her, “Not that watching Clarke is not fun and enjoyable. I’m Luna Handcroft, Clarke’s friend and … business partner, I guess?”
Lexa shook the hand Luna extended and gave the woman a tight lipped smile. “Hello, Ms. Handcroft.” She knew very well who the woman is. “And I managed to take a look or two at some of the works if that was what you were asking.” Lexa said politely.
“See anything you like?” Luna asked; her voice on the edge of flirting. She doesn’t see the point of playing coy and to skirt around. Luna shifted a hand and it made contact with Lexa’s thigh. It could easily be scratched as someone bumping into them but Lexa knew better. She knows when a woman is hitting on her. And this one is no different.
As usual, Lexa allowed the contact to last a bit longer for the woman to know she was well aware of it. She could feel the body heat radiating from Luna and if she shifts her eyes just a few centimeters down, she would see a good amount of cleavage revealed by the deep swoop of the neckline of the woman’s dress. Instead, she took a step back and when she focused her gaze somewhere beside the woman’s face, she saw Clarke Griffin talking to a man but her blue eyes were glued to her and the woman in front of her. She could see the blonde clench her jaw and the hold on her glass tightened a bit then returned to whatever conversation she was having with the man.
“Yes, actually, I have.” Lexa said as she finally made eye contact with Luna and gave a small smile and Luna’s smile grew even bigger at her answer. However, Lexa’s smile turned into a smirk when she watched the smile drop from the woman face when she said, “The collection of charcoal drawings at Exhibit C.”
Luna observed her with surprise and interest. It wasn’t often that people pay attention on the small sketches on displayed in the midst of all the large oil paintings and canvases that were on display as well. “The sketch of the naked woman on her bed?”
Lexa nodded, “Yes. That and the two others”
“The sketch of a woman who was painting a landscape and the sketch of a pair of eyes?”
Lexa nodded again, “They’re hers aren’t they? Clarke drew them.”
“I …” Luna was momentarily stunned. “Yes. Clarke Griffin is the artist. The naked woman in the sketch was actually her, she copied it form a photograph. Actually, come to think of it, the person in the two drawing is her. Except for the sketch of the eyes; they’re different.”
“I saw a few of her sketches. It has the same strokes, shadings, and the use of light and shadows. I assume they’re for sale?”
“You’re buying?” Luna asked. The agent wasn’t only observant, and extremely attractive, she also knows a thing or two about art. And if Luna wasn’t bothered hot before, she surely is now. “I mean, yes. Yes, of course. They’re for sale.” Luna offered Lexa a charming smile.
“And the buyer wishes to be anonymous.” Lexa stated. She shifted a bit to keep Clarke in her line of sight. Her movement caused her arm to brush against Luna’s chest and she heard the woman take a deep breath.
Jesus fucking Christ. This woman is practically ignoring my advances and she isn’t even flirting back and yet here I am; aroused and extremely turned on. GODDAMN IT! Luna screamed at herself as she felt her nipples hardened when Lexa accidentally brushed against her chest. “Of course.” She had managed to croak out, “Do we need to discuss the price?”
“That wouldn’t be necessary.”
“Right. Then if you would just follow me, we could discuss some details and the method of payment and delivery.” Luna then turned around and walked towards the direction of Exhibit C with Lexa following close behind. She bowed her head down as she whispered in her piece and ordered Agent Lawrence to take over her watch while she was gone to fetch her recent purchase of sketches.
In the corner of her eye, Lexa could see a flash of blonde hair. Cocking her head to the side, she saw Clarke following them. She can see the irritation on the blonde’s face and Lexa briefly wondered what could’ve caused it.