The room is silent. She must be home by now and when she’s home the room is never silent. Either loud groaning or silent music can be heard but now, nothing. So there must be something wrong, you just know that something is off. You enter the room more forcefully than intended and at first you see nothing but then notice something on her bed which looks like a pile of clothes but you suspect that there is something...or someone else there.
You drop your bag on the floor and walk closer to the bed. “Clarke?” you ask and reach out to touch the grey ball on the bed when it stirs and scares the shit out of you. “No touching!” the blonde turns and glares at you. There’s harshness in her tone but you can hear the pain. You pull your hand away and crouch down to look at her face. She looks tired and you can see that she cried not too long ago. She nuzzles the pillow but she does not break eye contact.
“What happened, Clarke?” you ask silently trying to sound as comforting as possible “Did someone hurt you? Me and Octavia have some ass to kick?” you start to get worried but she is just starring at you. “Okay...Clarke...you are scaring me. Say something please.” you almost beg as you kneel down. Your hand is resting on the bed close to hers and you look down as she brushes her fingers on your hand slightly sniffing. "Clarke..." you start but she cuts you off
"Sssh.." she sighs closing her eyes "Hold me.." she says silently but does not move
"Okay" you kick off your shoes and try to climb behind her without hitting her or stepping on her. After you finally lie down with a low groan behind her she moves the blanket so you can get closer to her "My little spoon" you whisper as you wrap your arm around her.
She takes your hand, entwining your fingers and you softly caress the back of her hand with your thumb.
"I love you Lex" she says after a few minutes of silence " don't you dare to ever leave me" her voice is still low and weak and you are pretty sure she has a reason for saying these now but you decide not to push it.
"I won't. I promise" you reply smiling and kiss her temple.
"My father promised too..." her voice is barely a whisper as she talks about her father " he told me he would always be with me and support me even when I think I am on my own and.." her voice cracks and tears flow freely from eyes again.
You close your eyes, kiss her head and burry your face in her hair "He is always with you Clarke, he is always here" you whisper bring your hands to her chest "there, he is there. Everyone you love...they right there, always with you, supporting you, love you" It seems to calm her a bit, most of the time it works when she breaks down.
It's been five years since her father died, you never met him but you feel like you knew him your whole life just from the way Clarke is talking about him.
"He's here..." Clarke repeats silently „and he wants me to pull my shit together" she chuckles and squeezes your hand "but for now I will let you enjoy being the big spoon" you just know from her voice that she is smirking and you can't help but smile.
"You are soo kind to me" you kiss the back of her neck "I love you Clarke Griffin"
"I love you too Lexa Woods" she smiles and kisses your hand.