HERES HAMMY
hamil.lion: GUYS
hamil.lion: SOMEONE HAD THE AUDACITY TO CALL ME
hamil.lion: A GRYFFINDOR
comma.sexting: wtf you are not a gryffindor
hamil.lion: IKR W T F
james.madisin: wait ur not??
hamil.lion: N O JFC IM A SLYTHERIN
jefferoni.macaroni: ew
hamil.lion: says you
jefferoni.macaroni: but i mean
jefferoni.macaroni: im not super surprised
hamil.lion: yOU CAN JUST NOT
loafayette: hello i heard someone say hogwarts so hi harry potter talk? yes?
hamil.lion: LAF
loafayette: hm?
hamil.lion: WHAT HOGWARTS HOUSE AM I
loafayette: idk did u take the pottermore quiz
loafayette: i got gryffindor
hamil.lion: pottermore?
jefferoni.macaroni: HE DOESNT KNOW ABOUT POTTERMORE
jefferoni.macaroni: THIS IS GOLD
comma.sexting: actually since he’s a slytherin it should be silver
james.madisin: aneglica no
comma.sexting: aneglica yes
hamil.lion: somEONE ANSWER MY QUESTION
loafayette: https://www.pottermore.com
loafayette: boom
loafayette: answered
hamil.lion: brb
comma.sexting: i got ravenclaw
intothenarrative: im a hufflepuff
loafayette: kool kool
loafayette: GERC
loafayette: GERCULES MULLIGAN
corsetz28: hi hello im here
loafayette: what house r u in
corsetz28: gercules mulligan needs to take the quiz as well
loafayette: ok go do tht
loafayette: good luck, mon cher
corsetz28: <3
jefferoni.macaroni: i happen to be a ravenclaw
intothenarrative: nobody asked you
jefferoni.macaroni: aren’t hufflepuffs supposed to be nice
intothenarrative: aren’t ravenclaws supposed to be smart
loafayette: DAYUM ELIZA
intothenarrative: see? laf’s bein a tru gryffindor
jefferoni.macaroni: um i believe i was first in our class?
comma.sexting: no u got third
comma.sexting: alex was first and burr was second
jefferoni.macaroni: okay but im the most important one of the three
hamil.lion: I DISAGREE
loafayette: shh take the quiz mon trognon
hamil.lion: :(
hamil.lion: it’s making me make an acc and errythin
jefferoni.macaroni: go away
hamil.lion: never
hamil.lion: ok but i have the pottermore thing in my safari so i do have to go away
hamil.lion: but never again
hamil.lion: this chat is the opera and i am the phantom
hamil.lion: eliza is my christine
james.madisin: can i be the one raoul guy?
jefferoni.macaroni: maddy dont encourage him
hamil.lion: u can be the one guy that the phantom hangs
hamil.lion: have a nice day my operagoers
loafayette: ok but we all know i would be raoul
comma.sexting: u right
intothenarrative: yup
corsetz28: what are you talking about
hamil.lion: phantom of the opera
corsetz28: what
hamil.lion: have you never heard me talking about this
hamil.lion: i dont believe this
corsetzdrd28: well i mean corbin bleu mentioned it once in high school musical
hamil.lion: sweaty ((::
hamil.lion: we need to educate you on this
corsetz28: no tbh im good with only having extensive knowledge of hsm and literally not having a clue about other musicals tbh
@intothenarrative has added @margaritasallaround to the chat
intothenarrative: peggy pls tell gercules that phantom of the opera is just as good as if not better than high school musical
margaritasallaround: okay but why would i lie to him
margaritasallaround: i will agree that phantom of the opera is hella quality but idk if its better than high school musical
corsetz28: see there is no point
loafayette: mon trognon !!! what is your house as of pottermore
hamil.lion: its goddamn wrong is what it is
loafayette: what was it
hamil.lion: ravenclaw, which is better than gryffindor but still
hamil.lion: its fucking wrong
hamil.lion: and its the same house that jeffergross is in so
hamil.lion: ew
jefferoni.macaroni: ew
jefferoni.macaroni: get out of my house
hamil.lion: get out of my life
jefferoni.macaroni: wow!!!! bullying!!!!!!! teacher look a bully!!!!!!!!
hamil.lion: wow youre copying me too now
jefferoni.macaroni: im telling washington!!
hamil.lion: fuck wait
@jefferoni.macaroni has added @george.washington to the chat
jefferoni.macaroni: sir your son is bullying me
hamil.lion: IM NOT HIS SON
george.washington: Alexander, what were you doing to Thomas?
hamil.lion: sir i can assure you that i am not the one at fault here
jefferoni.macaroni: LIES
jefferoni.macaroni: sir he was calling me names like jeffergross and criticizing my hogwarts house
george.washington: Alex, that is not acceptable behavior.
hamil.lion: i mean its not my fault hes a five year old
jefferoni.macaroni: SEE HES DOING IT AGAIN
intothenarrative: IM CACKLING OH MY GOD
george.washington: No son of mine will be behaving in this way.
hamil.lion: IM NOT YOUR S O N
jefferoni.macaroni: listen to ur daddy alex
margaritasallaround: I AM SCREAMING
george.washington: Are you okay?
margaritasallaround: yeah fam dont worry im totally okat
hamil.lion: STOP MAKING FUN OF MY BOSS
george.washington: I may look more seriously into this, Thomas. For now though, Martha made some wonderful artichoke for dinner and I don’t want to keep her waiting.
margaritasallaround: artichoke more like artichoke me daddy
hamil.lion: PEGS
hamil.lion: PEGGY
hamil.lion: S T O P
george.washington: Margarita, are you okay? You seem to be making rather violent remarks.
margaritasallaround: im fantastic fam why dont u just go eat dinner with your wife we can make sure ur son stops bullying little timmy tom
hamil.lion: okay but i literally wasnt bullying thomas he was victimizing himself bye
hamil.lion: ALSO HES NOT MY DAD
margaritasallaround: just bc hes not ur father dont mean he aint your daddy
george.washington: What do you mean by that?
hamil.lion: sir i think you should just go eat dinner with martha
jefferoni.macaroni: arent you going to do something about your loyal intern who represents your cause bullying someone
george.washington: I hardly think I can take harsh action based on unproved accusations of one person. If anyone else were to vouch for Alexander’s mistreatment of you, Thomas, then I would feel more confident to take action.
intothenarrative: i certainly didnt see any of this “bullying” thomas is speaking of
hamil.lion: !!!!! see sir !!!!!!
jefferoni.macaroni: james my sweet?
james.madisin: sorry tom i love you but i make a point not to lie to people with more political power than me
jefferoni.macaroni: wow damn i see how it is then
george.washington: Well, if that is all, I am going to be leaving now to have dinner with my wife. Goodbye!
@george.washington has left the chat
margaritasallaround: that went well
james.madisin: im sorry!! are you mad i love you
jefferoni.macaroni: i cant stay mad at you
james.madisin: cant stay mad means you are mad right now but will eventually forgive me
jefferoni.macaroni: it sure does
james.madisin: can i still come over to your dorm and cuddle and we can talk about our day like we usually do
james.madisin: or i can play with your hair and we can watch a really terrible movie you like and i wont complain bc i get to watch you get rlly cutely excited about it
james.madisin: i dont want you to be upset your happiness is the most beautiful thing ive ever experienced in my whole entire life
jefferoni.macaroni: omg jamie its fine of course id love to hang out and cuddle today
jefferoni.macaroni: i love you!
hamil.lion: this is disgusting
hamil.lion: brb while i bleach my eyes after reading this
hamil.lion: if id eaten anything today i would currently be vomiting i am disgusted
intothenarrative: alex shh let them be cute
comma.sexting: !!!! hey are all the schuylers in the chat at the same time omg
margaritasallaround: no i dont exist
margaritasallaround: wait nooo why did gwash leave i just thought of another artichoke joke
loafayette: do u mean artijoke
margaritasallaround: get out of my life
loafayette: but mon amie i want to hear your artijoke
corsetz28: how did this happen
margaritasallaround: ok what is darth vaders favorite vegetable
intothenarrative: PEGGY NO
margaritasallaround: PEGGY YES
loafayette: what is his favorite vegetable
margaritasallaround: arti-force choke
corsetz28: LEAVE
corsetz28: WE WERE TALKING ABOUT HOGWARTS HOUSES WHAT HAPPENED TO THAT
margaritasallaround: nice im a hufflepuff
jefferoni.macaroni: wtF whats with all you asshole hufflepuffs making me question house stereotypes
margaritasallaround: well what house are you mr.house stereotypes
jefferoni.macaroni: ravenclaw
margaritasallaround: wtF whats with all you dumbass ravenclaws making me question house stereotypes
hamil.lion: fucking savage wow
jefferoni.macaroni: jamie theyre bullying me again
james.madisin: thomas did you ever notice that you switch between like ten names to call me
james.madisin: james, jamie, jemmy, maddy
james.madisin: idk whats with that
comma.sexting: (he only calls you james when he wants something from you)
james.madisin: what
comma.sexting: the only times i remember him calling you james were when he wanted you to talk to him again and when he wanted you to tell washington alex was bullying him just now
james.madisin: wait thats true
hamil.lion: he also only calls you maddy and madison when hes nervous abt something related to you
jefferoni.macaroni: woah what
jefferoni.macaroni: why do you know more about me than i do
hamil.lion: bc although pottermore is wrong and im a slytherin i am still smarter than you
hamil.lion: #stophousestereotyping2k16
loafayette: would you say you’re smarter than the pottermore sorting machine
jefferoni.macaroni: okay but alex isnt smarter than anyone
hamil.lion: nO
hamil.lion: THEY PUT ME IN FUCKNIG RAVENCLAW IM
jefferoni.macaroni: fucknig
hamil.lion: shut yr face
loafayette: how does one shut their face alex
hamil.lion: fuck you
loafayette: sorry im not autosexual
hamil.lion: I DONT NEED THIS BULLYING FROM MY DATEMATE OKAY
jefferoni.macaroni: im not ur datemate can i bully you
hamil.lion: fuck you
hamil.lion: get out of my life
jefferoni.macaroni: im not in your life
jefferoni.macaroni: im in my dorm
hamil.lion: i doNT NEED THIS
comma.sexting: everyone needs some sass in their life
hamil.lion: i make my own sass
loafayette: how does one make sass
hamil.lion: you bake it
hamil.lion: just like pain
hamil.lion: bc its painful
hamil.lion: to others
loafayette: ...
intothenarrative: stop trying to make puns its not working
corsetz28: GERC GOT GRYFFINDOR
corsetz28: GGG MY FRIENDS
loafayette: AYYY
hamil.lion: at least they sorted you in the right house
corsetz28: what did it sort you into?
hamil.lion: fucknig ravenclaw
jefferoni.macaroni: fucknig
corsetz28: i can kinda see it idk
intothenarrative: MULLIGAN DONT
hamil.lion: HOW
hamil.lion: D A R E
hamil.lion: YOU
@corsetz28 has left the chat
hamil.lion: DO YOU EVEN K N O W ME
hamil.lion: COME BACK AND FIGHT
intothenarrative: he cant hear u
@hamil.lion has added @corsetz28 to the chat
hamil.lion: COME BACK AND FIGHT
intothenarrative: there ya go
corsetz28: i regret my earlier words
hamil.lion: FITE ME
corsetz28: you are a gryffindor totally im sorry
jefferoni.macaroni: oh shit
corsetz28: what
loafayette: ur in deep shit
loafayette: i am so sorry
corsetz28: WHAT
corsetz28: WHATS WRONG
comma.sexting: sending my prayers
corsetz28: SOMEONE TELL ME WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON
corsetz28: ALEX WHERE DID U GO
intothenarrative: gerc if i were you i would leave as soon as possible
corsetz28: oh no someones knocking on my door
loafayette: thats him
corsetz:28: WHO IS HIM
corsetz28: STOP PLAYING THE PRONOUN GAME
hamil.lion: MULLIGAN I SWEAR TO GOD LET ME IN
jefferoni.macaroni: whoop there it is
corsetz28: HOLY FUCK
hamil.lion: YOURE LUCKY THAT I FORGOT MY KEYS AND THIS DOOR IS BETWEEN US
@corsetz28 has added @a.burr to the chat
corsetz28: BURR YOURE NEXTDOOR GET ALEX FAR FAR AWAY FROM MY ROOM
hamil.lion: oUR ROOM
a.burr: is that what that noise is
a.burr: jesus christ quiet down
a.burr: im studying cant you be at least a little bit courteous to those around you
hamil.lion: BURR HELP ME PICK THE LOCK
corsetz28: STOP
hamil.lion: HOLD ON GOTTA FOCUS
a.burr: what is this even about
intothenarrative: gercules called alex the wrong hogwarts house
a.burr: oh
a.burr: he’s a gryffindor right
corsetz28: OH MY GOD HE ACTUALLY PICKED THE LOCK
loafayette: goodbye mon cher
corsetz28: IM TOO RAD TO DIE
corsetz28: ALEX STOP
hamil.lion: im here
@corsetz28 has left the chat
loafayette: oh shit
jefferoni.macaroni: we gather here today to celebrate the life of our good friend
jefferoni.macaroni: Gercules Mulligan
loafayette: oh my gosh u actually capitalized his name
loafayette: this is serious
jefferoni.macaroni: don’t i always capitalize?
intothenarrative: no
jefferoni.macaroni: NEVERMIND
jefferoni.macaroni: he lived a prosperous life
jefferoni.macaroni: full of gay shit
jefferoni.macaroni: we really will mate him
jefferoni.macaroni: *miss
jefferoni.macaroni: fucking autocorrect
comma.sexting: okay so maria and i were out and we saw alex chasing gerc through campus what is happening
hamil.lion: he went out the window godDAMN
comma.sexting: whut
hamil.lion: I CANT CHASE HIM
hamil.lion: HE RUNS TRACK
comma.sexting: i repeat
comma.sexting: whut
intothenarrative: gerc called alex a gryffindor
a.burr: so he ISNT a gryffindor
hamil.lion: NO
hamil.lion: WHY WOULD ANYONE EVER THINK THAT
hamil.lion: well
hamil.lion: i have chosen my next victim
a.burr: oh no someones knocking on the door
hamil.lion: HERE’S HAMMY
@a.burr has left the chat