Chapter 23
Tobin felt remarkably lighter following her impromptu conversation with Alex. It renewed her sense of hope in their relationship, partially …
You could never be too sure – A notion which Tobin had discovered the hard way (see previous relationship)
**
She and Alex’s relationship was definitely something …
Their relationship wasn’t where it was before obviously, it also wasn’t how it was following Tobin’s whole front door kiss debacle. It was somewhere in between, leaning more to the latter side. They were civil though, that was the important thing.
When Tobin clocked into work, she would smile at Alex, who would 9 times out of 10 be sipping a cup of coffee. Alex would smile back, and Tobin would offer a quite good morning before going out to make sure the birds were fed.
It pained her to restrict her interactions with Alex to a good morning, and a smile - if she had the chance to see her during the day, Tobin was partially convinced that Alex was avoiding her during the day.
Tobin understood that Alex was stubborn, and would happily suffer through however long it took for Alex to swallow her pride. It was now banking on two, almost three weeks, and Tobin was becoming restless, and more so, lonely.
**
“What are you doing?” Kelley asked, peering over Alex’s shoulder, causing Alex to quickly exit the app, doing her best to appear normal.
“Nothing.” She said quickly, hoping that Kelley would just drop her suspicion.
“I wasn’t even curious, but now I am.” Kelley reaches swiftly for Alex’s phone.
Alex watches with a red tint to her cheeks as Kelley goes from neutral to animated in a matter of seconds. Eyes widening, and making an exaggerated ‘O’ with her mouth before speaking up.
“Why are you stalking Tobin?!” She asks rather loudly.
“Could you be any louder?” Alex asks, grabbing her phone from Kelley’s grip, looking around to see if anyone heard Kelley’s outburst.
“I wasn’t stalking her, I was just … looking”
Kelley looks at her, thoroughly unimpressed.
“Okay, fuck, maybe I was, but so what? I kinda miss her …” Alex admits, looking a bit dejected. She was suffering from a serious case of Tobin detachment, although it was partially self-inflicted, it didn’t make her any less lonely or happy for that matter. She was also lovesick, and was consequently depriving herself from her metaphorical cure. Seeing Tobin around evoked a mixture of feelings within her – happiness of course, and there was also the excitement which came with seeing Tobin, and then there was that looming sense of regret Alex felt each time she so much as thought of Tobin. She wished she could do so many things differently in their relationship before it went awry.
Kelley squints her eyes at Alex in judgement.
“Aren’t you the one not talking to her? I think it’s time for you to drop your pride”
“I did, a while ago.” Alex discloses, wanting nothing more than to return to the daily rhythm her and Tobin had established. It was comforting, and now more than ever, she missed the sense of familiarity and security she felt when she was with Tobin.
“So … what’s the issue again?”
“What if she doesn’t like me anymore?” Alex asks, and Kelley laughs at the posterity of Alex’s question.
“Alex, have you ever seen how she looks at you? I can assure you that Tobin Heath is still desperately in love with you. No need to be insecure”
Alex wouldn’t know, seeing as she had made it a personal task of hers to avoid Tobin’s gaze whenever they were in the same vicinity.
“You think so? I don’t want it to be awkward or anything.”
“Trust me. Have I ever lied to you?”
Alex thinks about the question for approximately .39 seconds before replying,
“Yes.”
**
Alex finds Tobin idly fiddling with her phone in the break room. Tobin doesn’t notice her at first, and doesn’t look up until Alex takes the seat right next to her.
“Hey” Tobin says, surprised above all else, stomach contorting when she remembers her and Alex’s relationship current state.
“Hi.” Alex says, briefly making eye contact with Tobin for the first time in what felt like forever, before fixing her gaze on the ground
This is really awkward. Alex thinks to herself, listening to the even pace of Tobin’s breathing before Tobin speaks up.
“What’s up?” Tobin asks, eyes searching Alex’s for just the slightest intimation of reason.
“Nothing.”
Tobin shoots her a glance, letting Alex know that she could still tell when she was lying.
“You always break eye contact when something’s off.”
Alex smiles at Tobin’s observance.
“I missed you” Alex confesses, watching Tobin’s eyes light up. It makes her body warm and content, in ways it hasn’t felt for weeks, and she swears in this moment, with both their hearts honest and open that she won’t let Tobin slip away again.
“I’ve missed you too.” Tobin admits, sliding her phone in her pocket, granting Alex her undivided attention.
They sit in silence for a few moments following their admissions, unsure of how to proceed at such a delicate point in their relationship.
Tobin takes the first big leap, reaching over to hold Alex’s hand in hers. Alex sighs at the contact, running the pads of her fingers over Tobin’s skin in efforts to familiarize with Tobin’s body once again.
“I was actually coming to look for you.” Tobin decides to say, quickly adjusting to the glorious sensations spurred on by Alex’s touch.
“Really?” Alex asks, partially intrigued.
“Yeah, I wanted to officially invite you to my game. And Kelley too I guess”
“I wouldn’t miss it for the world.” Alex smiles, and Tobin reciprocates before adding,
“I might not even play though. I’m still kind of new”
“Still.”
“Still?” Tobin smiles even wider, giggling a bit.
It’s the lightest she’s felt in weeks
“Still, I’ll support you no matter what.”
Tobin doesn’t respond, opting to place a light kiss on the back of Alex’s hand to voice her gratitude. It felt as if the stars were aligning once again, and she was at ease for the first time in a while.
**
Alex was still unsure where she and Tobin stood following their meeting in the breakroom. Of course, they were now on good terms, she knew that. But how good said terms were was the question. Were they dating? Friends? ‘Talking’? Wives? Had Tobin even bothered to sign the annulment?
She definitely wanted to do the whole relationship thing with Tobin, but she wanted to do it right, although her desires were probably void, considering they were married first.
Alex is so absorbed in her thoughts that she doesn’t realize she’s walking straight into someone until she’s pushed back by with a hard “oof”, followed by Tobin securing her arms around Alex’s wrists to ensure that she doesn’t fall.
“I’m not looking for no beef Morgan.” Tobin jokes, releasing Alex’s wrists once she’s absolutely sure she won’t fall over.
“Sorry, I was just in my head.” Alex says, shaking her head.
“You’re always in there.” Tobin jokes again, and when Alex doesn’t laugh, she gets uncomfortable, awkwardly looking around in the parking lot for a route of escape.
“I was just wondering …” Alex says, starting and stopping her sentence, trying to find the right way to phrase her sentence before biting the bullet and stating what she meant explicitly
“What are we?”
Tobin’s eyes go wide for a moment before she assumes her normal countenance.
Tobin was unsure how to respond. Of course, they weren’t exactly in a relationship anymore, Tobin wanted to be though. Friends, friends was definitely the safest answer, but Tobin was absolutely finished with not saying what she felt and meant in their relationship.
“Friends.” Tobin declared, watching the way Alex’s face shifted.
“But, I definitely want to be more.” She finished. Reveling in the way Alex smiled bashfully at her.
“Good.” Alex sighed, causing Tobin to laugh. “I don’t know what I would have done if you said just friends”
“Good thing you won’t have to find out.” Tobin smiles back, the freckles in her and Alex’s eyes aligning.
“Would you like to come to dinner with me?”
“Like right now? I’m not dressed for that.” Tobin says, motioning to her work uniform, which she looked really good in, Alex noted in.
“You look so hot, always Tobin.” Alex reveals, looking Tobin up and down, in a manner too dirty to be considered a ‘friendly’ look. It made Tobin’s body go hot, and triggered vivid memories of the last time Alex looked at her like that.
“Yeah?” Tobin asked, voice dense with intrigue and arousal.
Alex nods, with Tobin’s eyes following the motions of her lips.
Tobin’s stomach growls both interrupting the moment and reminding her of Alex’s proposal of dinner.
“So I take it you’re hungry, we’re going to pizza hut,” Alex smiles, and Tobin happily follows, although she was currently wanting something else to eat.
**
Dinner goes smoothly, and both Tobin and Alex discover just how difficult it is to be friends.
“I really shouldn’t be eating pizza you know; I have a game.”
“One slice won’t do much to you. And no one refuses a date with Alex Morgan” Alex says, sitting back in her seat.
“Oh so, this is a date?” Tobin questions, eye brows raising to her forehead.
“Only if you want it to be.” Alex says vaguely, picking the cheese off of her pizza before eating it.
“That’s so weird, and so gross.” Tobin notes, eating her pizza like a normal person would.
“You’re only saying that because you’re a hater.”
Tobin scoffs, faking offense, “I could never hate such a beautiful face.”
Of course, Alex swoons. She hates how easily Tobin can reduce her to a mass of red cheeks and shy smiles within seconds, ironically though, she also loves it. And on a totally unrelated note, she also loves Tobin.
“Good answer.” She replies, “You’re kind of beautiful too”
“Only kind of?” Tobin asks, watching Alex’s reaction over the rim of her glass.
“Maybe a lot. Your nice legs compensate.” “So does your ass” She adds as an afterthought, laughing when Tobin chokes on her water. Flustered and mildly sexually frustrated Tobin was her favorite, it also helped that Alex knew the right things to say to garner a response from Tobin.
“What a friendly, thing of you to say” Tobin says, trying to regain her composure.
“You haven’t even seen friendly” Alex smiles and Tobin feels her body grow hot at the suggestive nature of Alex’s words.
“Oh really?” Tobin asks, curious, “So what is Alex Morgan’s definition of friendly?” leaning in, wanting no one else to hear what Alex was about to tell her.
Alex leans in too, licking her lips, inviting Tobin’s ears to listen.
“If this was a date …
I’d tell you.”