Chapter 1
I fucked up.
I fucked up so bad, I can’t even begin to tell you how it all happened.
All I can tell you is that I’m probably losing my best friend all over some dumb feud and another friend starting it to defend me.
I’m worthless, dead-weight, who lies and is gullible.
I’m 20 years old and I do all this to my friends and I cause them pain and problems. I wish I was nothing. I wish I was gone, not here to cause anyone any more problems.
I wish.
I wonder if my time powers could help with that or just make matters worse. Only one way to find out, right?
Extending my right hand, and with a flip of my stomach, I rewind time, rewind it to before this week, before everything, trying to erase myself from this timeline, from this world, anything to get me out of this mess. Anything to keep me from messing up all my friends’ lives, to stop making their lives living hells and cause so many problems.
Me, Max Caulfield, the problem child of Arcadia Bay, the person who fucks up all her friends lives and daily doings. If I wasn’t here, they would probably be happier. Rachel would be alive and Chloe wouldn’t miss me once. Victoria would have others to pick on instead of me. Kate and everyone else? They’d all be better off without me.
I kept rewinding. You know the saying ‘my life is flashing before my eyes’? Well it is for me. Just backwards. All these memories I have with mom and dad, and all my friends. All my firsts and nevers… It’ll be something to know I’ll never do all this ever again. Never be around for all this.
I finally stop and am alone in the woods near the lighthouse. Why am I here? Am I still…? I look about my surroundings and hear and see nothing save for waves of the ocean crashing at the shore.
“I didn’t expect you here so soon.” A soothing voice called out from the trees behind me. I turn around and look for its owner. She all but materialized before my eyes and I couldn’t tell if I was dreaming or looking at a ghost.
“...Rachel?” I asked timidly, not sure if I was right or not. She nodded in response.
“Welcome to Limbo, Max.” She smiled soft, as if greeting an old friend, as though time didn’t just pass about 20 years.
“I’m here because--”
“Because you decided to write yourself out of history. Out of everyone’s lives. Thinking that they would be happier without you. Thinking I would still be alive.” Another nod as she basically recounted my train of thought. I swallowed.
“Then why are you still…” I trailed off, not sure of how to say it properly.
“Dead?” I nod. “Fixed moments in time, such as my untimely death, cannot be rewritten, no matter how hard one wants it to be. You will be forgotten, as will I, and everyone will go on their own merry way. Sad as it seems.”
“How will they feel? Will they remember me? Or forget about me…?” I asked, hoping both and neither at the same time.
“Both, more or less. Also depends on the person. Your parents will mourn you the most, of course. But dealing with friends like Chloe and Victoria? That’s tough. I knew both of them and they’re both tough cookies. Chloe would definitely freak out, like she did with me and when I went missing. Though I don't know who would put up the missing persons posters first: her or Victoria…”
I thought about the consequences and basically all the pros and con's of not being in their lives.
“I'm basically corporeal, right?” She hummed in response and sat o. The bench, waving me over to sit with. “So that means I can interact with them? And be something of a Bad Wolf?” Cheesy Doctor Who reference. Cheesy me. Even in the afterlife I still make bad references.
Rachel Amber nodded. “To an extent unless you want them to know you're still around. If you want Chloe and Victoria to know you're still around, drop some not so subtle hints. How else were you able to see that Doe?” She smiled and gave me a knowing glance.
“So it was you!” I exclaimed as if I cracked the biggest mystery of this small town. She laughed soft and nodded.
“I was wondering how long it would take you to realize. Though, if you want them to notice, you'll need to do something like that yourself. Say with something you feel strong connection to. For me, it was the Doe.”
I thought long about it. I didn't want to copy Rachel with another Doe so I chose another animal. “How does a bunny sound?”
“It sounds cute and suits you.” Rachel confirmed. “Basically this spirit form of yourself is like if you had a patronus if you were in the Harry Potter universe. Cliche, a bit, but it works and gets the job done.” She nodded and I gave a small smile.
“You finally smiled,” I looked up at Rachel once more. “You're here almost 20 minutes and not once have I seen you smile till now. I must be blessed to see such a beautiful thing.”
I nudge her. “Oh stop. It's nothing special.”
“Says you. At least two people thought it was, and I makes third person to love that beaming smile of yours.”
“You're very chivalrous for a girl,”
“I try.” Rachel did a faux hair flip and giggled, I followed suit and giggled with her.
A short while had passed, us enjoying the view and each others company. “So,” Rachel stood up and extended her hand to me. “Shall we?”
It was now or never, Max.
I take Rachel's hand gingerly and she helps me to my feet. She led me back down the trail to the parking lot only to see a pickup pull in.
A tall lanky figure and short petite form both clambered from the vehicle, heading to the bed of the truck, both frantic and seemed worried. I tried to listen closer and all I heard was quick mumbling and few exchanged words.
Upon further inspection and hearing, I came to conclude they were Chloe and Victoria.
Rachel leaned to me and said, “And we're back in the present, my dear.”